I had to sleep on this overnight to make sure it was the right thing to post this, because I really don’t want to take a risk of getting my DH in hot water right now. This information comes from Stake Bishopric Meeting (a meeting held once per month where the Stake Presidency counsels all of the bishops and their counselors), and I’m sure the content of those meetings are not meant to be shared unless instructed to do so. For this reason, I’m not even asking DH’s permission, which might sound really bad, but it’s for his own protection. If the priesthood leaders who presume they preside over me ever somehow caught wind that I post on this site, it wouldn’t be difficult for them to find which one is me, I’m sure. So let me make it clear that it’s my decision and my decision alone to pass this along.
So with that said, as most of you probably know, my DH is the 1st counselor in the bishopric.Btw, he has asked to be released because he feels he needs to be spending his time with his family right now as our children and I make this difficult transition out of the church, but the bishop is dragging his feet, and we both agree that he is stalling because he believes that I’m going to come to my senses.Anyway, he came home last night from Stake Bishopric Meeting in a TERRIBLE mood.When I asked him what was wrong, he at first refused to tell me because he was afraid I would be too angry.A little bit later he went up to bed obviously stewing, so I again asked him to please tell me what was wrong.He started with how he had first attended Round Table where they discussed collecting for Friends of Scouting and doing the re-chartering—both of which my DH is in charge of, and NOT happy about for many reasons that I won’t get into.So with that sour taste in his mouth, he then walks into SBM, only to have the topic of discussion be Proposition 8.Apparently, a letter was sent down to the Stake President, signed by the 1st Presidency, stating the church’s stance.My DH didn’t get to actually read the letter, but copies were passed out to each bishop with instruction that if they hear of any member or their wards opposing the church’s position, they are to be reported to the Stake President immediately.(The worst part for me is that our SP’s own brother whom he claims to love is gay.) The SP went on to state how there were people in our area who were collecting money to oppose the Proposition, and this was unacceptable.Hmmm.So apparently it’s okay for bishops to put collection boxes outside their offices and Stake Presidents to start web sites to collect donations to support Proposition 8, but those who oppose have no right to do the same?My DH was sickened to his core.Everything inside of him is screaming that this is wrong.Not only is he opposed to Proposition 8 himself, but he expressed how he just cannot believe that the church can justify taking such an active stance in government—obviously it goes against even our own Articles of Faith.
I think he just lost his last bit of faith in the LDS Church.He’s been pondering about whether or not to give the bishop a date that he needs to be released by, and he will now be doing that.
So far, I have not written a letter or signed the petition to the First Presidency on the Signing For Something web site because of the fact that my DH was in the bishopric and there is enough spotlight on our family right now without me being invited to a disciplinary counsel.I was already warned by my SP that if he finds me spreading my reasons for leaving he will not hesitate to excommunicate me, as his job first and foremost is to protect the church. Trust me, I'm not intimidated by his threat, but I'd rather not put my family through the drama. As I've contemplated whether or not it was the right thing for me to remain silent or not, I've wondered if with all those signatures that they would even really take notice of mine.Now that the SP has made it clear that he is on the lookout, I’m probably asking for it if I sign.I won’t do it without first letting my DH know of my decision, but it’s looking like Signing For Something has just recruited one more signature.
Brad Pitt just donated $100,000 to fight against Prop 8....maybe this effort of the church will bankrupt it. Next they'll be using tything/fast-offerings to shore up the effort.
This is really scary to me. I absolutely expected the church leaders to do everything possible to manipulate their members into seeing things the church's way; it's something they've always done so it came as no surprise. The leaders could still claim (lamely) they their members had the ability to choose for themselves one way or the other. Now, though, it sounds like they plan on punishing those who don't conform to the church's beliefs. They are stepping over the line marked Manipulation into the territory of Force. When and if the punishments begin, I hope those on the receiving end refuse to be silenced.
What is the possibility, Wanderer, of you talking anonymously to the media?
Thank you for posting this. I live in Utah as well, but since I no longer attend church I haven't been aware of how the church has been reacting to those who might oppose Prop 8. Sounds like they're getting scared and are trying to intimidate the members to toe the line.
I wonder how much more of this nonsense continues before we see an exodus from the TSCC.
This is extremely disappointing, but not surprising.
The church is into all-out threat and intimdation mode.
I won't be intimidated, but they know that there are others who are in vulnerable positions for one reason or another that they can exploit, and they will.
I again call for all concerned members to SPEAK OUT.
Only if we actually SPEAK OUT will we have any chance of throwing off their shackles.
I think he just lost his last bit of faith in the LDS Church.He’s been pondering about whether or not to give the bishop a date that he needs to be released by, and he will now be doing that.
<snip>
Wishfully thinking here that this would push your husband and you into writing letters of resignation for your family and walking away while still the 1st counselor and then go public with why. The church's actions here are incredibly, incredibly offensive and until enough people start walking away, they are going to continue to trample all over the rights and feelings of those members allowing them to do this.
I'm so grateful that I wrote my resignation letter in April and reclaimed my own life. It tears me up to see my ex-wife and especially my children still caught in this deceitful organization.
Good luck Wanderer, in navigating the difficult shoals ahead.
This is really scary to me. I absolutely expected the church leaders to do everything possible to manipulate their members into seeing things the church's way; it's something they've always done so it came as no surprise. The leaders could still claim (lamely) they their members had the ability to choose for themselves one way or the other. Now, though, it sounds like they plan on punishing those who don't conform to the church's beliefs. They are stepping over the line marked Manipulation into the territory of Force. When and if the punishments begin, I hope those on the receiving end refuse to be silenced.
What is the possibility, Wanderer, of you talking anonymously to the media?
If I could be assured anonymity, I MIGHT consider it, but to be honest it scares the sh!t out of me! Let me make that clear that I'm not intimidated by any threat of discipline by the church, but being assertive out in the real world is something I'm just learning to be.
I think he just lost his last bit of faith in the LDS Church.He’s been pondering about whether or not to give the bishop a date that he needs to be released by, and he will now be doing that.
<snip>
Wishfully thinking here that this would push your husband and you into writing letters of resignation for your family and walking away while still the 1st counselor and then go public with why. The church's actions here are incredibly, incredibly offensive and until enough people start walking away, they are going to continue to trample all over the rights and feelings of those members allowing them to do this.
I'm so grateful that I wrote my resignation letter in April and reclaimed my own life. It tears me up to see my ex-wife and especially my children still caught in this deceitful organization.
Good luck Wanderer, in navigating the difficult shoals ahead.
Max
That would be a huge leap. Other than a few close friends and a handful of ward members, only a few members of our family know about me-- his dad (never active), step mom (exed as a teenager for getting pregnant out of wed lock), 2 of my cousins that I'm really close to (one already apostatized years ago), and my brother (came home from his mission, removed his g's and quietly went inactive). I'm not sure this is how I want them and our loved ones to find out. The bishop and SP know my DH supports me in my decision, but they still assume all is well with his own testimony. We'll see what happens though.
Wanderer, your post is so interesting. I can relate to you quite a bit, and for some reason had a moment of clarity reading this just now -- look at all the manipulation going on, from the 1st presidency about this topic, down to your own stake president, to the point that you have to think about it overnight before you're even able to post here. To post your own feelings about it on an anonymous board. Your husband can't even talk to you about it for hours. What is this?
I don't care what the issue is -- this time it's Proposition 8. What will it be next time? As a membership, we're being manhandled.
