What is the most bizarre thing you were taught while you were in the church? It can be something taught at church, or some rumor you heard from a parent or friend.
My dad use to tell me weird shit about spirits. Once when I was like 12 he told me that really evil people, you know, like people in bad Rock Bands, could be on stage and force their spirit to leave their body and go into the crowd and actually watch themselves perform. He then went on to say how dangerous that was though b/c while your spirit is out of your body, a Spirit has to be in the body to control it, so the Spirits that followed Satan and didn't get bodies would temporarily go into your body. Cause, you know, those evil Spirits that followed Satan wanted a body so bad that they would try to steal or at least try out a real humans body. But sometimes they wouldn't leave and then the real spirit that origionally left the body wouldn't have his body to go back into and the origional Spirit would be lost and trapped on earth without his body.
My dad also told me that Satan's spirits wanted bodies so badly that they created ones... That is where aliens come from. Aliens are Satan's spirits who created a body and have tried to come to our earth to study us to perfect their alien bodies that they created. UFO's and aliens are real, they are Satan's followers.
My dad use to sit up for hours telling me these weird kind of things. And 20 years later I still think about them. And until a few years ago I actually believed most of these stories and was totally freaked out by them. I had nightmares about some of this shit when I was a kid.
I'll try to remember more. I've got tons of great ones if I can remember them!
I think that even the up front stuff that is taught is strange if you stand back and think about it.
One of the things I had trouble with was that I had to have special priesthood keys to access special blessing from god. Shouldn't god be open to all? Also, that you had to use consecrated oil to bless the sick. It didn't make sense then, and doesn't now. It is all just wacky. The further I stand back and look in, the crazier it looks.
When I joined the church over 20 years ago I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
The strangest thing I ever heard from a member is the "dusting off your feet" curse.
I think that even the up front stuff that is taught is strange if you stand back and think about it.
One of the things I had trouble with was that I had to have special priesthood keys to access special blessing from god. Shouldn't god be open to all? Also, that you had to use consecrated oil to bless the sick. It didn't make sense then, and doesn't now. It is all just wacky. The further I stand back and look in, the crazier it looks.
When I joined the church over 20 years ago I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
The strangest thing I ever heard from a member is the "dusting off your feet" curse.
And how about that 'Satan rules the waters' crap? If that's true then watch out for tsunamis because, dude, you're going to hell.
My dad also told me that Satan's spirits wanted bodies so badly that they created ones... That is where aliens come from. Aliens are Satan's spirits who created a body and have tried to come to our earth to study us to perfect their alien bodies that they created. UFO's and aliens are real, they are Satan's followers.
My dad use to sit up for hours telling me these weird kind of things. And 20 years later I still think about them. And until a few years ago I actually believed most of these stories and was totally freaked out by them. I had nightmares about some of this shit when I was a kid.
I'll try to remember more. I've got tons of great ones if I can remember them!
Someone once told me that they believed aliens came from a planet that was run by a very righteous Mormon. After all, that is what the celestial kingdom is all about, right? Being like God and having your own planet/world?
Can't remember who said it, though... I believed the person for a long time.
My dad use to tell me weird shit about spirits. Once when I was like 12 he told me that really evil people, you know, like people in bad Rock Bands, could be on stage and force their spirit to leave their body and go into the crowd and actually watch themselves perform. He then went on to say how dangerous that was though b/c while your spirit is out of your body, a Spirit has to be in the body to control it, so the Spirits that followed Satan and didn't get bodies would temporarily go into your body. Cause, you know, those evil Spirits that followed Satan wanted a body so bad that they would try to steal or at least try out a real humans body. But sometimes they wouldn't leave and then the real spirit that origionally left the body wouldn't have his body to go back into and the origional Spirit would be lost and trapped on earth without his body.
My dad also told me that Satan's spirits wanted bodies so badly that they created ones... That is where aliens come from. Aliens are Satan's spirits who created a body and have tried to come to our earth to study us to perfect their alien bodies that they created. UFO's and aliens are real, they are Satan's followers.
My dad use to sit up for hours telling me these weird kind of things. And 20 years later I still think about them. And until a few years ago I actually believed most of these stories and was totally freaked out by them. I had nightmares about some of this shit when I was a kid.
I'll try to remember more. I've got tons of great ones if I can remember them!
Did some crazy general authority(redundant) teach thi? I heard about it a lot as a kid so it seems pretty widespread. crazy !@$!$#%*&@!$! mormons.
That black women were so sensual that they would easily lead faithful white priesthood males astray. Thus the entire Negro race was denied priesthood and entry to LDS temples. I was seventeen years of age, the place was Long Beach, California in a MIA class. I swear it happened, all the guys stared at each other and back to the instructor.
That if there was a "heavenly manifestation" in your room that to determine if it was an resurrected being or one of Satan's minions...you asked the "spirit" to shake hands....if it was solid, it was resurrected and angelic, if it refused to shake hands...it was Lucifer's servant.
Someone once told me that they believed aliens came from a planet that was run by a very righteous Mormon. After all, that is what the celestial kingdom is all about, right? Being like God and having your own planet/world?
Can't remember who said it, though... I believed the person for a long time.
I heard this one, too, from a neighbor when I was little. Her entire family believed it.
Some of the weirdest things I learned, either from the church or members:
The earth is 6,000 years old. The reason scientists find all these fossils and date them to be billions of years old is because Jesus/God created the earth from spare parts in the galaxy. So dinosaurs are actually alien lifeforms who lived on other planets billions of years ago.
The Three Nephites, as someone else mentioned. Part of me did want to see an episode of the Highlander TV series where Duncan fought the Three Nephites, though.
Angels were seen in the temple.
Garments protect people from grievous bodily harm.
Masturbating was going to condemn me and that I should confess any such instances to my bishop so I could repent and not do it again.
Only the exalted ones in the Celestial Kingdom get to pop out a billion babies for eternity. The rest of them just get to serve those in the Celestial Kingdom. S'how I remember it, anyway.
The idea of evil spirits creating bodies to make aliens is new to me, as is the idea of rockers sending their spirits into the crowd to watch themselves.
Probably the wierdest one I have deals with intelligences. There is a big ol talk about it. I'll try to bullet point the ideas.
-Everything is made out of two things: intelligence and matter (or material or something.)
-This means everything is made of intelligences: people, animals, rocks, trees, dirt, ETC.
-This is how miracles are performed. God speaks to the intelligences and telles them what to do: turn water to wine, split the red sea, bring back the dead.
-Intelligences only listen as long as they have respect for God, so He has to live by certain rules or he would cease to be God.
-This is supposedly why he can't save everyone. It wouldn't be just and the intelligences would no longer listen to God.
-Christ had to be a sinless sacrifice in order to win the respect of the intelligences.
-While our bodies are made of matter anmd intelligence, our "person/entity" consists of a single intelligences with no body.
-When someone goes to outer darkness, they are stripped of their physical and spiritual body and reduced to their single intelligence.
The idea of evil spirits creating bodies to make aliens is new to me, as is the idea of rockers sending their spirits into the crowd to watch themselves.
Probably the wierdest one I have deals with intelligences. There is a big ol talk about it. I'll try to bullet point the ideas.
-Everything is made out of two things: intelligence and matter (or material or something.)
-This means everything is made of intelligences: people, animals, rocks, trees, dirt, ETC.
-This is how miracles are performed. God speaks to the intelligences and telles them what to do: turn water to wine, split the red sea, bring back the dead.
-Intelligences only listen as long as they have respect for God, so He has to live by certain rules or he would cease to be God.
-This is supposedly why he can't save everyone. It wouldn't be just and the intelligences would no longer listen to God.
-Christ had to be a sinless sacrifice in order to win the respect of the intelligences.
-While our bodies are made of matter anmd intelligence, our "person/entity" consists of a single intelligences with no body.
-When someone goes to outer darkness, they are stripped of their physical and spiritual body and reduced to their single intelligence.
That's all I got for now.
I never heard this either, but Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones is a good argument for this one. He looks dead anyway. Maybe his spirit is watching from a distance as his body goes through the motions. Then again, maybe he just can't get any "satisfaction."
The idea of evil spirits creating bodies to make aliens is new to me, as is the idea of rockers sending their spirits into the crowd to watch themselves.
Probably the wierdest one I have deals with intelligences. There is a big ol talk about it. I'll try to bullet point the ideas.
-Everything is made out of two things: intelligence and matter (or material or something.)
-This means everything is made of intelligences: people, animals, rocks, trees, dirt, ETC.
-This is how miracles are performed. God speaks to the intelligences and telles them what to do: turn water to wine, split the red sea, bring back the dead.
-Intelligences only listen as long as they have respect for God, so He has to live by certain rules or he would cease to be God.
-This is supposedly why he can't save everyone. It wouldn't be just and the intelligences would no longer listen to God.
-Christ had to be a sinless sacrifice in order to win the respect of the intelligences.
-While our bodies are made of matter anmd intelligence, our "person/entity" consists of a single intelligences with no body.
-When someone goes to outer darkness, they are stripped of their physical and spiritual body and reduced to their single intelligence.
That's all I got for now.
I never heard this either, but Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones is a good argument for this one. He looks dead anyway. Maybe his spirit is watching from a distance as his body goes through the motions. Then again, maybe he just can't get any "satisfaction."
Yeah, but Jagger must keep his spirit in his body because he is all over the place like a hyperactive kid.
Wanting to be just a normal teenager I bought an aca daca (AC/DC) album.
One morning before seminary started I was listening to the album on my walkman and someone pulled me up and said
"hey is that AC/DC"
"ah yeah"
"you know what AC/DC stands for don't you ......anti Christ devils children"
in my head - "WTF"
out of my mouth "I thought it was alternating current/ direct current"
anyway my dad and step mum found out and I was told not to listen to it any more, so I was back to that piece of sh*t "mormon rap" over and over again!
I know this has nothing to do with the church persay but it was another way they took the piss out of me.....barstards
That black women were so sensual that they would easily lead faithful white priesthood males astray. Thus the entire Negro race was denied priesthood and entry to LDS temples. I was seventeen years of age, the place was Long Beach, California in a MIA class. I swear it happened, all the guys stared at each other and back to the instructor.
This must have been the inspiration for the Violent Femmes song, "Black Girls":
I dig the black girls, oh so much more than the white girls.
I was so pleased to learn they were faster.
C’est, c’est, c’est vous I’m after. ...
You know I love the lord of hosts,
The father, son, and the holy ghost.
I was so pleased to learn that he’s inside me
In my time of trouble he will hide me.
Wanting to be just a normal teenager I bought an aca daca (AC/DC) album.
One morning before seminary started I was listening to the album on my walkman and someone pulled me up and said
"hey is that AC/DC"
"ah yeah"
"you know what AC/DC stands for don't you ......anti Christ devils children"
in my head - "WTF"
out of my mouth "I thought it was alternating current/ direct current"
anyway my dad and step mum found out and I was told not to listen to it any more, so I was back to that piece of sh*t "mormon rap" over and over again!
I know this has nothing to do with the church persay but it was another way they took the piss out of me.....barstards
Cheers
Nothing to do with the church? Hardly. It has everything to do with the church. We were constantly told as teenagers to be careful what we listened to. I even attended a "special fireside" on music to "learn" (read: "be indoctrinated") on what not to listen to. Total BS. It's yet another way the Morg stole some of the simple joys of life.
I'm now "re-discovering" a lot of music that I felt guilty listening to as a teenager, like Led Zeppelin, one of the greatest bands ever. And as for AC/DC, they totally rock. Like you, I was "taught" to avoid them. I now have every one of their albums.
Tessa:
That if there was a "heavenly manifestation" in your room that to determine if it was an resurrected being or one of Satan's minions...you asked the "spirit" to shake hands....if it was solid, it was resurrected and angelic, if it refused to shake hands...it was Lucifer's servant.
As I was told, if it refused to shake hands it was God's angel that had not yet recieved a body and did not wish to try and decieve you. However if it tried to shake hands and you didn't feel anything, it was lucifer's angel attempting to decieve you. Apparently evil spirits have no subtlety.
Tessa:
That if there was a "heavenly manifestation" in your room that to determine if it was an resurrected being or one of Satan's minions...you asked the "spirit" to shake hands....if it was solid, it was resurrected and angelic, if it refused to shake hands...it was Lucifer's servant.
As I was told, if it refused to shake hands it was God's angel that had not yet recieved a body and did not wish to try and decieve you. However if it tried to shake hands and you didn't feel anything, it was lucifer's angel attempting to decieve you. Apparently evil spirits have no subtlety.
I had forgotten this one. I can't remember which way I was taught though. (Yikes -- I believed this?)
I limited my music listening, too, trying to be righteous. Fortunately, my tastes run to acoustic folky stuff, so I wasn't too put out.
In one of my apartments at Ricks, the soundtrack from Jonathan Livingston Seagull was our acceptable Sunday listening.
I guess the thing that weirded me out most was that we were part of a plan to create and populate infinite worlds, but no one ever said why. To what end? For what purpose? And if the "god of our world" was just senior management, then who was the president/CEO, and what was THEIR agenda? A very unsatisfying mythology, as these things go.
That your blood changed when you were confirmed a member. IT was the blood of the tribe you were in, and it was more pure than that of the rest of society.
Wanting to be just a normal teenager I bought an aca daca (AC/DC) album.
One morning before seminary started I was listening to the album on my walkman and someone pulled me up and said
"hey is that AC/DC"
"ah yeah"
"you know what AC/DC stands for don't you ......anti Christ devils children"
in my head - "WTF"
out of my mouth "I thought it was alternating current/ direct current"
anyway my dad and step mum found out and I was told not to listen to it any more, so I was back to that piece of sh*t "mormon rap" over and over again!
I know this has nothing to do with the church persay but it was another way they took the piss out of me.....barstards
Cheers
Nothing to do with the church? Hardly. It has everything to do with the church. We were constantly told as teenagers to be careful what we listened
to. I even attended a "special fireside" on music to "learn" (read: "be indoctrinated") on what not to listen to. Total BS. It's yet another way the Morg stole some of the simple joys of life.
I'm now "re-discovering" a lot of music that I felt guilty listening to as a teenager, like Led Zeppelin, one of the greatest bands ever. And as for AC/DC, they totally rock. Like you, I was "taught" to avoid them. I now have every one of their albums.
I remember learning in seminary that the Eagles song "Hotel California" (which I happened/happen to love) was satanic and that we shouldn't listen to it. I was listening to it the other day in the car and it seems so obviously about the california music industry (?) In any case, I don't see how they get satanic. Where do they come up with some of this stuff?
So many bizarre things, how to choose? Kolob is definitely up there, also polygamy. Most hurtful to me was that those born in Asia, Africa, etc. were less valiant in the pre-existence so they had to basically be born in lives that suck as opposed to me who must have been really valiant in the pre-existence because I was born to a white LDS family in Provo, UT.
these are all good ones. sadly, i've heard them all except for the hot black women and the aliens.
two that haven't been mentioned:
1. that a "suicide" can't be buried facing east. not worthy.
2. to always remember that HF is a man and to always dress appropriately when kneeling before him in prayer. this includes no "nightgowns" allowed . this was taught to us last year in a modesty lesson in RS.
My wife read a great one supposedly attributed to Brother Brigham which warned women that the baptism of the holy ghost could get them pregnant. I think he was making reference to the holy ghost overshadowing mary to bring about Christ's conception.
I remember learning in seminary that the Eagles song "Hotel California" (which I happened/happen to love) was satanic and that we shouldn't listen to it. I was listening to it the other day in the car and it seems so obviously about the california music industry (?) In any case, I don't see how they get satanic. Where do they come up with some of this stuff?
I heard that too, but it was from Bible Belt preachers. Until I lived in Utah, I had no idea that people like Lex DeAzevedo gave firesides and parrotted this same crap.
About Hotel California. I had a companion on my mission who asked me what the song meant. He was Mexican and didn't speak any English. He loved the song and wondered what it was about. I translated the lyrics for him and we talked about it. I told him the theory that it was about selling your sould to the devil, but even as a missionary I told him I wasn't sure if that's what it was about. Still, I said I could see why people thought that. It was night and we were in bed with the lights off. I got up to use the restroom and as I walked back to our room, I heard him singing in Spanish in a frightened, quivery voice, "Come, come ye saints, no toil or labor fear ..." He had gotten freaked out and was trying to sing the Spirit® back into the room.
I guess the thing that weirded me out most was that we were part of a plan to create and populate infinite worlds, but no one ever said why. To what end? For what purpose? And if the "god of our world" was just senior management, then who was the president/CEO, and what was THEIR agenda? A very unsatisfying mythology, as these things go.
My seminary teacher loved me, can you tell??
The church was big on the fact that we had purpose in our lives because we knew the plan of salvation. God's purpose is "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man", and we are to help with this. Well, I always wondered, if the purpose of life is eternal life, what's the purpose of eternal life? To perpetuate the cycle? Never made a lot of sense to me.
And whoever would want to be a god/goddess? To be in charge of your own world and watch your children suffer at one another's hands? Plus, running a world sounds like a lot of work.
I remember learning in seminary that the Eagles song "Hotel California" (which I happened/happen to love) was satanic and that we shouldn't listen to it. I was listening to it the other day in the car and it seems so obviously about the california music industry (?) In any case, I don't see how they get satanic. Where do they come up with some of this stuff?
I heard that too, but it was from Bible Belt preachers. Until I lived in Utah, I had no idea that people like Lex DeAzevedo gave firesides and parrotted this same crap.
About Hotel California. I had a companion on my mission who asked me what the song meant. He was Mexican and didn't speak any English. He loved the song and wondered what it was about. I translated the lyrics for him and we talked about it. I told him the theory that it was about selling your sould to the devil, but even as a missionary I told him I wasn't sure if that's what it was about. Still, I said I could see why people thought that. It was night and we were in bed with the lights off. I got up to use the restroom and as I walked back to our room, I heard him singing in Spanish in a frightened, quivery voice, "Come, come ye saints, no toil or labor fear ..." He had gotten freaked out and was trying to sing the Spirit® back into the room.
HMMMM I always thought it was about drug addiction.
our bishop last year preached from the pulpit during SM about Bette Midler's song From a Distance. how she doesn't understand who God is or how he works.
he drew parallels to the song that made me wonder how the hell did he get that from it?
i loooooove Bette (have seen her live 3 times) and i love that song. i was uber-annoyed to listen to him tear it apart. i told my hubby that he'd better let him know i was not happy in their next bishopric meeting.
September SLC Post-Mormon Women’s Meet-up
The Plan - Last Wednesday of every month
September SLC Post-Mormon Women’s Meet-up
over and over again!
