I remembered that growing up in the church I heard whispers of something about Joseph Smith being a free mason, "but we don't talk about that", people said. As this TV show was on I was in the other room listening and I was hearing the temple rites being recited, verbatum. I quickly ran to the TV and sure enough that was what I was hearing. These were supposedly the rites that Masons practiced! I was reeling with disbelief at first and then a quiet acceptance overcame me that it really was all a lie. Well, this got me interested in Masonry, so I did some research. Basically, I believe that Joe just got pissed off that Masonry was totally shut down in this country. At the time, the masons had become a very powerful political group, holding most offices. This spurred a creation of the anti-mason group. They shut down the masonic temples and pretty much banned masonry in the area. I think Joseph Smith's life revolved around this group and he wasn't about to give it up so he morphed it from a mens society into a religion. Feedbac please, Mountaingirl
It's been a while since I found it, but many years ago I stumbled upon a website by a guy who was exposing Free Masonry. He had photos of the rites, diagrams, history of some of the symbols, that sort of thing. Some of them clearly caught my eye, however, including the compass and square symbols (which appear on the breast of the garments), as well as a verbatim recitation of part of the masonic ceremony from which the temple ceremony was clearly "lifted." It is the part in which the inductee is showing the master the various handshakes. The master asks, "What is this?" to which the inductee gives the secret handshake. "Has it a name?" "It has." "Will you give it to me?" etc. When I read that, I no longer wondered if, as the apologists suggested, that the similarities were nothing but coincidental...there was no coincidence here, it was plagerism!
As to your theory...who knows, eh? My own theory, based on the little bit of reading I've done on the subject, is that Joe recognized the power of secret rituals, and used the masonic rituals to springboard to his own rituals. His brothers, father, and many close associates were masons, and clearly influenced Joe (he was nothing if not easily influenced). Relying on the practice he had gained while "re-translating the Bible", Joe set about to retranslate the masonic rituals, leaving in what was useful, and changing it to suit his religious needs.
What fascinates me MOST about the whole thing at this point, is that Joseph said he had "restored the masonic rites back to their original, pure form." According to him, the masons were responsible for passing down the sacred temple ritual (non-sense, turns out), but that it had been corrupted along the way. You ever heard of the 14th article of faith? "We believe the Masonic rituals to be the word of God insofar as they are translated correctly?" Anyway, it is amazing to me that the rituals could be restored because they had been corrupted...and then the modern church could come along and change them again. Hello? Isn't that "corruption?"
Mountaingirl, can I suggest starting a new thread on Freemasonry and Mormons so we don't turn the discussion from introduction on this thread to Freemasonry? I don't want to be rude or anything but, as a new thread, I think it would get the attention it deserves. Taking the bull by the horns, I'm going to go ahead and start the thread - sound okay?
I wanted to give a quick introduction and express my appreciation for those
that have taken the time to set the site up. I've been visiting the site in its
various forms for several years, but never taken the time to sign up and log
in. Possibly because I felt my situation was different or, perhaps, not as severe
as some I have observed. Kind of strange, yes, but I would be willing to wager
that it is not an uncommon feeling!
At any rate, I have sitting in front of me a letter which will be sent out
priority mail on Monday to Member Records. I have had such a letter written for
almost two years, in which time I have not attended any LDS meeting and have
come to understand the manipulation and story-telling that has been a majority
of my adult life. I am only 27, but I spent the better part of the last 12
years experiencing discord due to many self-righteous asses, and people who
just didn't know any better, some who even genuinely cared.
I grew up in eastern Wyoming, luckily to one non-member and one
former-member of the LDS church. Though one would think this would lead away
from the LDS church, especially as both parents felt strongly against it,
friends and other family members can have a very significant influence on a
person and their ability to reason under pressure.
To make a long story short, much happened in 12 years that have lead me to
the place I am today, a much better place with a wonderful wife and life ahead
without the guilt or ridiculous lies that have swayed my life from side-to-side
for the last decade.
I look forward to meeting folks and reading what they have to say on the
postmormon site.
Scientia, welcome to the neighborhood, gladtahavhahere. Count your blessings, I didn't have any members of my family in the church, yet I managed to find it and stay stuck there for 30 years! Although I must admit that the church did some very good things for me, I have found much more peace and accord in my life and relationship with DW since leaving that controlling organization.
I'm happy to hear that you are finding the peace of freedom and lood forward to getting to know you better.
I wanted to give a quick introduction and express my appreciation for those
that have taken the time to set the site up. I've been visiting the site in its
various forms for several years, but never taken the time to sign up and log
in. Possibly because I felt my situation was different or, perhaps, not as severe
as some I have observed. Kind of strange, yes, but I would be willing to wager
that it is not an uncommon feeling!
At any rate, I have sitting in front of me a letter which will be sent out
priority mail on Monday to Member Records.
I look forward to meeting folks and reading what they have to say on the
postmormon site.
Take care, scientia
Looks like you're declaring yourself in more ways than one (to Member Records and on PostMo) I look forward to hearing how you think, scientia!!
To make a long story short, much happened in 12 years that have lead me to the place I am today, a much better place with a wonderful wife and life ahead without the guilt or ridiculous lies that have swayed my life from side-to-side for the last decade.
Yes plenty of guilt and plenty of ridiculous lies.. I sent my resignation almost two years ago and declared it here just as you have. It remains one of the best decisions I have EVER made.
My life unfolded in almost miraculous ways after I resigned. There were some difficult times but each was a struggle forward and never back. I am not married but I think you will see your relationships deepen, and that your love will be more sincere and less conditional. Mormonism is a doing organization, not generally a loving organization. The love ends at the chaplel door often and fear runs deep inside mormon relationships. That was my experience.
I wanted to give a quick introduction and express my appreciation for those that have taken the time to set the site up. I've been visiting the site in its various forms for several years, but never taken the time to sign up and log in. Possibly because I felt my situation was different or, perhaps, not as severe as some I have observed. Kind of strange, yes, but I would be willing to wager that it is not an uncommon feeling!
At any rate, I have sitting in front of me a letter which will be sent out priority mail on Monday to Member Records. I have had such a letter written for almost two years, in which time I have not attended any LDS meeting and have come to understand the manipulation and story-telling that has been a majority of my adult life. I am only 27, but I spent the better part of the last 12 years experiencing discord due to many self-righteous asses, and people who just didn't know any better, some who even genuinely cared.
I grew up in eastern Wyoming, luckily to one non-member and one former-member of the LDS church. Though one would think this would lead away from the LDS church, especially as both parents felt strongly against it, friends and other family members can have a very significant influence on a person and their ability to reason under pressure.
To make a long story short, much happened in 12 years that have lead me to the place I am today, a much better place with a wonderful wife and life ahead without the guilt or ridiculous lies that have swayed my life from side-to-side for the last decade.
I look forward to meeting folks and reading what they have to say on the postmormon site.
Take care, scientia
Your situation is somewhat different from many, but to me that makes it all the more interesting. Love the happy ending! Thanks for sharing, Scientia. And welcome to post-mo!
I've been a member for a few months, but I mostly just browse the boards. I'm on my way out of the church, but not completely there yet. Having been raised with 12 other siblings, half of which have remained active and the other half "rebelling," it's been hard to decide for myself what I actually believe.
Being 19 is currently putting me at a tough spot, with family members questioning me at every turn why I'm not going on a mission, or why I'm not praying to a god I don't know exists.
For the most part I just felt uneasy about the church and decided to just ignore it, but when my brother died, it kind of brought things to a head for me. At first I tried to get back into religion, but one thing kept me from it. My brother was not what the church would consider as a person headed for the celestial kingdom, far from in fact. Yet somehow, according to bishops and members in leadership positions I talked to, he is up there watching over my niece who died prior to baptism and who is guaranteed celestial glory. How exactly does one go about watching over someone who has received a "greater glory"? I still haven't found an answer for that one.
I have spent the last year and a half searching for something to believe, and the more I talk to another brother of mine, and his wife, the more I think that I need to believe in myself more than any religion, that pure common sense and logical reasoning can answer the questions I have better than a book translated by some young guy that was chosen by god!
I'm sorry for the ramble and that it was all over the place, but I just put thoughts down as they came. It didn't lead anywhere particular, but I like knowing that it might be heard by people that have open minds instead of people who would shun me for not believing everything I'm taught in church. Any nudges in the right direction for more info about why I feel this church is so Not true would be greatly appreciated.
Welcome tjlofland! You are in a tough spot - living in Logan AND being 19! Quite a few of us are Loganites, so we can appreciate where you are coming from, so to speak. In any event, I like your brother's advice. We all know that you will eventually find your way through all of this, but it can be pretty rough at times, especially at your age when there is that intense pressure to go on a mission. It seems like the death of a loved one adds an interesting dimension to this whole religious thing. For me, it accelerated my leaving the church, but for others, it binds them more tightly to the institution (and that's not just a Mormon thing). Some folks find it easier to cope if they move elsewhere for a few years to work, go to school, whatever. We wish you the best of luck, and hope you will hang out with us here for awhile.
I'm sorry for the ramble and that it was all over the place, but I just
put thoughts down as they came. It didn't lead anywhere particular, but
I like knowing that it might be heard by people that have open minds
instead of people who would shun me for not believing everything I'm
taught in church. Any nudges in the right direction for more info about
why I feel this church is so Not true would be greatly appreciated.
Hi tj,
Welcome to postmo!! I enjoyed your post. I think you'll find a lot of people here who can sympathize with your situation and who will enjoy hearing your thoughts and perspective. You are in a really tough situation. I think the church is particularly hard on our boys and much of what they expect of them is in my "not so humble" opinion a big brain f**k. I have a son approaching mission age and I worry about him more than any of my other kids. He has a lot of questions, too (although he leans toward Mormonism at the moment).
There is NO WAY I'm going to send him out the door on a mission unless he knows exactly what he is representing. This includes the "accurate" version of church history. If he is OK with it all and still believes strongly, then I'll support his decision. The pressure on him (with an apostate Mom) is quite a bit less than I imagine yours is, but he still really feels it. One of the things that troubles him most is how he's going to find a nice girl if he DOESN'T go on a mission. We live in a very dense population of Mormons and it's hard for him to see that maybe there are some real high quality girls out there that don't have "returned missionary / temple worthy" prerequisites for dating. I believe Logan is a bit more liberal than where we live, but I could see how this would be a big issue there as well.
You asked for nudges in a direction that would help explain why you're feeling the way you do. I would first (as you suggested earlier in your post) pay attention to your own feelings....trust them. Try to separate what you, yourself, feel is right and good from what has been taught to you (this is hard). What kind of God would YOU be if you could be a God. Does it match up to the Mormon version? This is difficult because we're trained to believe that others in authority know a lot better than us. THIS IS NOT TRUE. You are completely capable of sorting out truth yourself.........you don't need anyone to tell you what it is or how to get it. It sounds like you're already on your way there.
There are plenty here that can give you recommendations on books and essays that might help. There are books by reputable scholars both inside and outside the church that rightfully criticize what you were taught in Sunday School and Seminary. And there are other more general books not associated with Mormonism at all that can help you see different ways of thinking. I found browsing through articles here in the Post Mormon magazine very helpful. Peter_Mary's review of "Rough Stone Rolling" in the Post Mormon Encyclopedia is also a compelling read. Some of the books (not at all associated with mormonism) that were helpful to me as I was transitioning out of the Morg are:
"Beyond Belief" by Elaine Pagels
"Modern Man in Search of a Soul" by Carl Jung
"Science and the Search for God" by Gary Kowalski
"The Laughing Jesus" by Freke and Gandy
"The Illustrated World's Religions" by Huston Smith
"The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz
These books don't necessarily represent my current views, but they were extremely helpful to me in learning about ideas that go beyond Mormon thought. These books are also nice because they don't attack religion directly(except for maybe Freke and Gandy's book), but they help you see ideas from different vantage points. Many here like the works of Richard Dawkins. I'm currently reading "The God Delusion" which I'm enjoying, but I think it would have been a little hard on me in my early stages.
I have spent the last year and a half searching for something to believe, and the more I talk to another brother of mine, and his wife, the more I think that I need to believe in myself more than any religion, that pure common sense and logical reasoning can answer the questions I have better than a book translated by some young guy that was chosen by god!
Hey tjlo
Enjoyed your introduction. I would agree with the above assesment by you. If you do this I think you will save yourself a lot of grief over the years.
I think the best book to read is AN INSIDERS VIEW OF MORMON ORIGINS by Grant Palmer. He is a member in the Salt Lake area. They disfellowshipped him for writing the book. He did not want to be disfellowshipped. He wants to maintain his status as an active member.
The book will give you plenty to think about and it is not anti-mormon.
Wow, where to start? Well, I was a member from age 13 to age 32, I wrote my exit letter in Nov of 2002 and was promptly dealt with, no questions asked about 5 weeks later. Since then, not one member of my old ward has made ONE move to try to get me back, and I suspect it is because of my mother and sister, who remain full-fledged TBM's. I started a blog about 5 months ago, and I unload alot of my Mormonism "angst" there. They (mom and sis, and her husband) check out my rants about the church from time to time, and hold grudges against me for writing it. I told them that if they don't like what I have to say, quit reading it. Recently, they haven't been by, so I guess I must have finally touched a nerve.
I glean information from many sources, and then copy/paste to my site, providing links and crediting the original sources. A lot of it is NOT new, but occasionally I rant about something current.
My exit was very quick, I left after spending two days at the apologetics sites dredging up topics like Mountain Meadows, Kinderhook Plates, Two Cumorahs Theories, Polygamy practices, and the Mark Hoffman scandal. If I hadn't been so sure I could defend the church as well as anyone, I wouldn't have had the occasion to learn about these topics that the apologists were defending. If I had stayed in my place and avoided the Internet, I wouldn't have woke up from the Matrix.
My mother was very shocked and angry. Those first few months after I left were filled with email exchanges between my sister and me, copied to my mother so she could keep up on our fight, but things got way too personal in that mode, and to save my mom's sanity we had to quit speaking to each other for about 7 months.
We are currently in the "not speaking to each other" mode, but only after 4 years of on again off again trying to get along and avoid bringing up religion. It simply doesn't work, she can't see me as anything but an apostate and an evilmonger. After she accused me of 'shamlessly' flirting with her husband, (because I have no morals since I left the church), I resigned from sisterhood with her too. It's a shame really, because of the Mormon church, our family is split apart, not 'brought together and sealed for eternity'.
Welcome! I enjoyed reading your post. It is amazing how difficult relationships become when one member of the family leaves. I think many here can truly sympathize....I do. Please come back often!
The Kinderhook Plates were something else to me. It was so easy to see how Joseph Smith got sucked right in. I have found that when you look at the life of Joseph Smith in total what emerges is a profile of a con man.
I am Cloud (of Nibelheim, heh——yes, I am a sort of fanboy, albeit an unusual one; I first played the game in 2005 at age 19. If you don't know what I'm talking about, good for you).
My roots are very Mormon. Most of my ancestors converted in Europe and came straight to Utah in the second half of the 1800s. Like many Utah Mormons, ethnically I'm an Anglo-Scandinavian mutt.
I don't know of anyone in my whole extended family who's left the church——or even is just inactive——besides me. My father's a professor at BYU, and I've spent the greater part of my growing-up life in Payson (currently I live in Orem). I have one younger brother who is awesome, he's a foreign exchange student in Japan right now.
It's been about a year now I've been convinced the church and all is just plain false. For quite some time before that I had my own ethical complaints against the church and the idea of a "perfectly Just" God in general, before I even knew of the factual issues.
So, that's about how it is. Kind of blah I guess. I enjoy hiking, spelunking, bouldering, and other nonmotorized outdoor stuff. I like to read historical, speculative, and science fiction. I'm a video game snob; absolutely love select games but despise the great majority.
It's been about a year now I've been convinced the church and all is just plain false. For quite some time before that I had my own ethical complaints against the church and the idea of a "perfectly Just" God in general, before I even knew of the factual issues.
I had similar thoughts for many years before my official departure.
I don't know of anyone in my whole extended family who's left the
church——or even is just inactive——besides me. My father's a professor
at BYU, and I've spent the greater part of my growing-up life in Payson
(currently I live in Orem).
Whoa, you've got guts!!! Congratulations and WELCOME
My father's a professor at BYU, and I've spent the greater part of my growing-up life in Payson (currently I live in Orem)..
Welcome Cloud! I'm wondering if your dad knows you no longer believe and if he does know how is he reacting to it. Has he ever complained or joked about how bass akwards BYU standards are? Just curious.
I'm wondering if your dad knows you no longer believe and if he does know how is he reacting to it. Has he ever complained or joked about how bass akwards BYU standards are? Just curious.
Oh yes, my parents know all about it. They've been very good about it.
And yes, I've sat in on many a BYU- or Church Bureaucracy-bashing bull session in my dad's office with his TAs and other students. For the most part he's had very liberal women as TAs. We often talked and complained about sexism at every level: singles wards, GAs, etc. The Honor Code Office was also a frequent target of ridicule.
Naturally, these people are for the most part careful not to complain about the church anymore within my hearing.
I think you're pretty courageous for not letting yourself get pressured into going on a mission. In some respects it would be the easy way, but your personal integrity seems to be more important to you.
Welcome Astartemoonsilver -
You are not alone in feeling like you woke up from the Matrix. It ain't always pretty here outside the Matrix, but it is real.
Belated happy birthday.
Welcome Cloud -
of Nibelheim ??? No, I don't know what that is... is it anywhere near Kolob?
I don't think your story is blah at all. I also left *before* I encountered all the factual issues. I enjoy hearing from others who are/were on a similar path.
I just wrote my exit story and posted it on RFM so I won't repeat it here, but I was a convert as a teenager because one of my friends was a Mormon. She had a very nice family who loved me and welcomed me into their home often so the combination was irresistable at that time.
My husband and I had our names removed about a year and a half ago so things have definitely changed in my life. I often think of that youth group in the ward in which I was baptized and wonder how many of them are exmos now.
I was a convert as a teenager because one of my friends was a Mormon.
She had a very nice family who loved me and welcomed me into their home
often so the combination was irresistable at that time.
I attended a "Young Women in Excellence" a while ago that my daughters were participating in and a speaker got up and told about her pivotal experience of "of being adopted" into her friend's nice Mormon family who were influencial in convincing her that her parents and sister were wrong when they drifted from the church and that she needed to do the right thing and go to church, be wary of the advice her parents may give her, and do the whole active mormon thing including getting married in the temple etc......even if it meant hurting her family (which it did). But the speaker KNEW it was the right thing and sometimes you have to make sacrifices even if it hurts the ones you love.......it made me sick to my stomach. Then my daughters came home and said what a spiritual speaker they thought she was. I'm not sure what kind of emotions this stuff appeals to, but it sure is powerful! It took me awhile to help my girls see that the hurt she caused her family may not be as honorable as she made it sound.
I've been an avid reader of Peepstone for some time, and even had a submission published, but never got involved here on the boards.
My girlfriend and I fell under the influence of her sister and her Mormon fiance when I was 17. The fiance was a bright and charismatic guy, and next thing I knew, my girlfriend and I were baptized. I never, ever felt a "burning bosom" or gained a testimony of the truthfulness of the church. I just went along, because I thought it was the right thing to do, thinking someday my testimony would find me. Didn't happen.
I was ordained into the Melchizedek priesthood at age 18, but had no desire whatsoever to serve a mission. Instead, I joined the military. I married that girlfriend in the Manti Temple, and am still happily married to her today, 32 years later. I did everything from Sunday School President to Elder's Quorum President to Ward Clerk.
When I was discharged from the USAF, I went to college on the GI bill, majoring in history. In a class on "Jacksonian Era Democracy," I had to write a long research paper on some social aspect of that era. What better topic than the Mormon Church? I chose to write my paper on the L.D.S. "United Order," fully believing that, by proving the truthfulness of the Church in a scholarly (using resources that don't say "Bookcraft" or "Deseret Press" on the binding) way, I would finally find that elusive testimony.
The only problem with my theory was that the only possible result of open-minded, scholarly research of the Mormon Church is to learn that Joseph Smith was a con-artist and Brigham Young a David Koresh-like wacko. At least I got an "A."
My lovely wife and I bolted from the Church in 1985, following twelve years of active membership. I graduated from college and took a job in another city, partly because that's where the job was, but also to make a clean break from our Mormon lives.
Truth be told, I'm still on the records. I don't care. It's not worth the time and effort to me to try to get my name off the records. I'm more of a spiritual agnostic now than anything else, I suppose. Once or twice per year, someone representing the Bishop of the local ward, wherever that is, will leave a care package on my doorstep. A letter, DVD, brochure, whatever. I wrote the Bishop and told him to stop wasting his time and money on me, that I absolutely believe Mormon dogma to be hogwash. That didn't work, so the little packages now go straight from my porch to the dumpster, where they belong.
I'm a family man. Love my kids and grandkids, they love me. We're a very close-knit. loving family, and religion has virtually no place whatsoever in our lives. My niece married a life-long Mormon a few years ago, from a devout Mormon family, a real nice guy. He's hung out with all of us a number of times, and one night confided in me, "I wish my family was more like yours. You're all so close and have so much fun together."
Yes, that's because we freed ourselves long ago from the guilt and oppression of the Mormon Church, or any other church for that matter, and are free to be ourselves and live our lives in ways that make them worth living.
We live in Gilbert, in the East Valley of the Phoenix metro area. Every time I find myself on a high piece of ground out here, I see all those ubiquitous white steeples jutting out of the city, and I wonder how so many can be so gullible.
We live in Gilbert, in the East Valley of the Phoenix metro area. Every time I find myself on a high piece of ground out here, I see all those ubiquitous white steeples jutting out of the city, and I wonder how so many can be so gullible.
Preston, I enjoyed reading your introduction. Welcome! It's nice to know that there are silent fans of Peepstone and other parts of the website.
I live in Logan Utah and experience the steeple phenomena too. Anyplace I stand in the city I can count several steeples. There's even one place where there's an LDS church on one side of the street and another right across the street from it. You walk out of one of them and in a few steps you're walking into the other one. Then there's another LDS Church right behind one of them too! How obscene is that! I can't help but think of all the better places in the world the money for building and maintaining those unholy edifices could be put to better humanitarian use. Building shelters for the poor in South Africa for instance. Now those would be holy edifices.
I was a teenage convert too (sounds like a bad movie) and was "adopted" into a friend's family. I didn't see the irony when my mom complained that I was never home with my family because I was always going to my friend's house for "Family" home evening. D'oh!
Welcome Preston -
Another teenage convert? Wow.
I really liked this from your post.....
"Joseph Smith was a con-artist and Brigham Young a David Koresh-like wacko"
It has only been a few weeks since I decided to leave the Mormon church. I have not yet found the courage to speak of this to anyone around me (either Mormon on not). In fact writing this post is the first time I have mentioned it to anyone in any form.
I was born and reared a TBM, though my fathers inactivity and frequent drinking parties left me an "open minded" Mormon.
At a young age I decided I wanted to serve a mission, based most of my choices as a teenager on how it would affect my "worthiness" to serve. I was frequently called a "spiritual giant" by my leaders and I was given the Melchizedek Priesthood at the age of 17 because of my "spiritual maturity." By the time I was 30 I had served in almost every leadership position available to a single Mormon.
During my younger years I found the doctrine fascinating and I thought I was growing spiritually. But after having heard every Sunday School lesson dozens of times, I got bored with the mainstream church doctrine and became interested in the "deep" doctrine. Unfortunately studying deep doctrine always brought more questions than answers. The answers I did find usually required one to accomplish feats of mental yoga to make any sense. Many times I found myself longing for the after-life when everything would be made clear.
Being a 30 year old single Mormon leaves you in an awkward place, and I started feeling lonely and left out a church. I would come home from church not having felt uplifted but ignored and looked down upon. So in protest I stopped attending church. At this point I never doubted the "gospel" I fully expected to allow some lucky home teacher to "re-activate" me when I was ready. Luckily for me I was quickly forgotten by the ward and no home teacher or anyone else ever bothered to pay me a visit.
For two years I considered my self an inactive-believing Mormon. I never told anyone in my family or anyone connected to my family of my inactivity. I did and still do many things to feign my activity and to this day continue to live a lie. So obviously when I tell my family and friends I am leaving the church it will come as a complete surprise to them.
The two years I spent without being force fed the Mormon indoctrination, left my mind open and vulnerable to reality. So that when I stumbled upon a logical argument against Mormonism my mind wasn't in good enough shape to contort into the mental yoga to blow the argument off, as I had so many times throughout my life. Once I let one reality infect my mind I started be bombarded with them.
Like Astartemoonsilver, my waking from Mormonism was a real Matrix moment. Now I look back and laugh and I wonder why it wasn't obvious to me. I am embarrassed that I was so easily kept in the dark. I do want to thank Bob McCue for helping me understand why's and hows, and helping me make the mental transition.
To all the new folks. I read each of your stories and was so grateful that you posted and let us get to know you a bit. I found some of myself in each of your stories and that is always nice.
It is a beautiful day here where I live and I cannot begin to describe to you how good it feels to be done with dogma of any kind. How fabulous is it to have that behind us? Can we put a price on it?
Tthom: Like Astartemoonsilver, my waking from Mormonism was a real Matrix
moment. Now I look back and laugh and I wonder why it wasn't obvious
to me. I am embarrassed that I was so easily kept in the dark. I do
want to thank Bob McCue for helping me understand why's and hows, and
helping me make the mental transition.
I have said many times how embarrassed I have been that I truly believed in the whole package for 30 years before I and DW had our awakening. I think many of us that have finally realized how silly it all really is scratch our heads and wonder how we could have been so blind for so long. It all has to do with mind control by the leaders and it worked for us for 30 years. Free at last, free at last! AND I too have thanked Bob McCue several times for all the great essays he has written that have helped me and many others sort out the Matrix of moism.
Thanks to all the new posters here for sharing their stories. I hope that the dialogue that we carry on here will be helpful and healing for you as you navigate your way to a new perspective on life and living. Welcome.
It has only been a few weeks since I decided to leave the Mormon church. I have not yet found the courage to speak of this to anyone around me (either Mormon on not). In fact writing this post is the first time I have mentioned it to anyone in any form.
This is a true leap for you and I would venture to say that this is a fantastic place to take that leap, there are many fantastic people here! At any rate, I would also say that while I have been out the door (inactive) for about two years, and having only recently sent in my letter, there are people whom I have yet to tell about my journey, mainly becuase I know ,and perhaps dread, their reaction. I do not think this is a healthy way to conduct the situation, and hopefully I will be able to change this soon. Those that I have told, well, some have supported, many have not, but those who have supported by have provided the much needed backing I needed, I would wager that you will find the same.
Tthom:
Being a 30 year old single Mormon leaves you in an awkward place, and I started feeling lonely and left out a church. I would come home from church not having felt uplifted but ignored and looked down upon. So in protest I stopped attending church. At this point I never doubted the "gospel" I fully expected to allow some lucky home teacher to "re-activate" me when I was ready. Luckily for me I was quickly forgotten by the ward and no home teacher or anyone else ever bothered to pay me a visit.
Yep. I agree. It is a very hard place. I have a very good friend who is 35, single, and comes from a TBM family. She dislikes the church, very much, and has no testimony or reason to remain for the very reasons you have pointed out. That said, she is still a member, but 99% inactive. Sometimes I wonder if she is waitingfor that one home/visiting teacher to come by and say just the right thing.
Tthom:
Like Astartemoonsilver, my waking from Mormonism was a real Matrix moment. Now I look back and laugh and I wonder why it wasn't obvious to me. I am embarrassed that I was so easily kept in the dark. I do want to thank Bob McCue for helping me understand why's and hows, and helping me make the mental transition.
Anyway, it is amazing to me that the rituals could be restored because they had been corrupted...and then the modern church could come along and change them again. Hello? Isn't that "corruption?"
I look forward to hearing how you think, scientia!!
Quite a few of us are Loganites, so we can appreciate where you are coming from, so to speak. In any event, I like your brother's advice. We all know that you will eventually find your way through all of this, but it can be pretty rough at times, especially at your age when there is that intense pressure to go on a mission. It seems like the death of a loved one adds an interesting dimension to this whole religious thing. For me, it accelerated my leaving the church, but for others, it binds them more tightly to the institution (and that's not just a Mormon thing). Some folks find it easier to cope if they move elsewhere for a few years to work, go to school, whatever. We wish you the best of luck, and hope you will hang out with us here for awhile.
