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Anyone else leave during their quarterlife crisis?
 
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"The quarterlife crisis," according to quarterlifecrisis.com, "is essentially a period of anxiety, uncertainty and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood."

When I began my exit from Mormonism, I was 22, fresh out of college and having major anxiety about what to do with my life. I had no enthusiasm for what I had studied in college and was hating my temp job in a related field. I had planned my whole life to be a SAHM, but with my faith dimming, I was becoming unsure about everything.

Getting out of Mormonism at that time was part of the whole process, I think, of figuring out who the "adult me" was. Most of the time, I am relieved that I left then, while I still had time to radically change the direction of my life. Without religion telling me what to do, I became serious about a career, furthered my education and work experience, and lived in a few new places.

But at the same time, there is so much instability and confusion that comes with transitioning into adulthood. There are so many crossroads, and while I'm glad I can now make authentic choices and make my own mistakes... once in a while, I wish I had left a little later, once I had lived out these crazy 20's with that absolute certainty that I used to have as a Mormon.

Anybody relate?
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I can totally relate. When I lost my belief completely about a year ago, I was 25, my father had just died a month before, I was in my first semester of medical school in a place I had never been to prior to that, and married a little over a year. Add those things up, and I think it's safe to say there's some kind of crisis going on. I felt like my life completely turned on its head withing a few short months. Add onto this the fact that my testimony had been pretty much hanging by a thread for several years now, but I was determined to stay in the church "no matter what" for the sake of my mother and younger brother. They're the only immediate family that are both still in the church and still alive; and we don't have a small family.

 

During this crisis period, the doubts that I had many years before surfaced with a vengeance, and I had to address them. I wasn't planning on losing my faith, but was tired of putting things on the shelf and trying not to think of questions that bothered me. I decided it was time to face it and come to the conclusion I felt comfortable with intellectually, no matter what it was. Of course, it was only a very short time of studying and questioning, and my belief in Mormonism was gone. A few more weeks after that, my belief in god was pretty much gone too.

 

Now I finally feel like I'm an adult, intellectually speaking. I don't have to rely on other peoples ideas of truth; I can form my own based on reason and evidence. Alas, I'm not totally free (yet) to practice what I preach, due to not wanting to destroy my marriage. But it's growing very wearisome to keep up the facade, and it may not be too long before I just say "I'm done" and let the chips fall where they may.

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I was 25 when I stopped attending... I had a period of about two years as a teen where I didn't believe but attended to keep my parents happy, and not surprisingly got sucked back in... Anyway, I kind of just realized that the likelihood of there being a God, as described by the LDS Church, was very, very small. And I was also tired of trying to fit my inherent beliefs about things like feminism and homosexuality into the Mormon frame of mind. I was sick of wasting my life hitting one dead end after another while trying to follow "the spirit." Like when I really felt that going to teaching school was the right thing for me to do (a good career for a mother!) and had that idea affirmed by multiple priesthood blessings... It was a bust and I was out $5000 in tuition and 6 months of my life. Thanks, God! Great idea! Now I am free to make real decisions not based on superstition and I'm much happier. 
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“Nothing’s lost forever. In this world, there is a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we’ve left behind, and dreaming ahead.” - Angels in America

 
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I got off a mission at 21 (going on a mission from 19 to 21 is totally a preparation to keep you on a mormon path when such quarterlifecrises might come I guarantee it, richard g scott so much as told my mission that was the plan..and it obvious)  21 to 24 was about business as usual......24 25ish, during my higher education......eactly as you say,....like the baby eyes started opening..just all on their own.
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Unfortunately for me my "quarterlife crisis" brought me into the church at 23, but a mid-life crisis led me out at 41!
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“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.”  (Bhagavad Gita via eat, pray, love)

 
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october:
Unfortunately for me my "quarterlife crisis" brought me into the church at 23, but a mid-life crisis led me out at 41!

 

 My husband was a similar case, joined at 22, looking for a place to belong, got sucked in. But luckily for him he got out at 27. And he got me out of the deal, so it wasn't all bad! It only cost him 10% of his earnings for 5 and a half years. 

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“Nothing’s lost forever. In this world, there is a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we’ve left behind, and dreaming ahead.” - Angels in America

 
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But at the same time, there is so much instability and confusion that comes with transitioning into adulthood. There are so many crossroads, and while I'm glad I can now make authentic choices and make my own mistakes... once in a while, I wish I had left a little later, once I had lived out these crazy 20's with that absolute certainty that I used to have as a Mormon.

Anybody relate?

 

 I left near the end of my 20's.  Oh how I wish I could go back and have those years to be what *I* wanted to be.  I love my husband and children but I wish I had had more time to figure out who I was before I took on so much responsibility.  My husband is the only guy I ever dated seriously (I was the only girl he had ever dated, period.)  He is the only guy I've ever kissed.  I never had those times to go out and hang out with my girl friends or to go to college without having to worry about daycare.  I am happy with my life now but there is still a small part of me that wishes I could go back and do it again with the mindset I have now. I would make very diffrent choices. But then again, if things hadn't happened exactly the way they had I likely never would have developed the strength of character and self-reliance that I have now. I am happy though.  Life is so much better now than it was when I was trying to tell myself how happy I SHOULD be.

 
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Yeah, I would probably put me in that category.  While I had never been 'fully converted', nor did I serve a mission, I had always been in the church.  It took the possibility of a marriage for me to evaluate what I wanted out of life and if I could truly get converted since a temple marriage was a requirement.  I was 27.
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I was inactive a long while before deciding I wasn't Mormon, then a few months afterward, I did some research on the church, discovered it was a fraud, and formally resigned four months before my 23rd birthday (which was this past August).  I'm not sorry I got out so early in life, I'm actually very grateful.  I've got plenty to look forward to.
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NotGaryStu: Exploring diverse warm fuzzies since 2009.

 
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My quite sudden departure was at the age of 26.

33 years ago and by my choice.

 

That would  be before the internet was common place and forum support groups like  Postmormon came about. The only way out of the morg was through excommunication, which carried an additional stigma. It has been a tough journey in many respects.

 

Just last year, I found out from a neighbor couple that the rumor in my neighborhood ward (I moved twice since my departure from the craziness) was my excommunication came about as a result of adultery on my part.

 

 

 

 

Interesting how the morg and its minnions cannot quite allow a body go forward in peace.

 

 

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“Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all.”
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John Mayer - Why Georgia

 

This is the perfect song for this post... Here's the lyrics:

 

I am driving up 85 in the
Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom
4 more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind

Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul

Either way I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down

Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
Still "everything happens for a reason"
Is no reason not to ask myself
 


If I am living it right
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?

Why Georgia, why? 

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“Nothing’s lost forever. In this world, there is a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we’ve left behind, and dreaming ahead.” - Angels in America

 
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hypatia:

My quite sudden departure was at the age of 26.

33 years ago and by my choice.

 

That would  be before the internet was common place and forum support groups like  Postmormon came about. The only way out of the morg was through excommunication, which carried an additional stigma. It has been a tough journey in many respects.

 

Just last year, I found out from a neighbor couple that the rumor in my neighborhood ward (I moved twice since my departure from the craziness) was my excommunication came about as a result of adultery on my part.

 

 

 

 

Interesting how the morg and its minnions cannot quite allow a body go forward in peace.

 

 

 

Wow I didn't know you left that long ago.

 

 

ft

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It is one’s willingness to become uncomfortable and face the fear that what we might uncover could rock the foundations of our world that will allow us to escape the bonds of Mormonism.

INTROSPECT

 
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free thinker:

 

Wow I didn't know you left that long ago.

 

 

ft

 

I had to smile, FT.

Is that the nice way of saying kidnappers must not be very interested in me?

 

or that

 

I remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

                                                 -George Burns

 

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“Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all.”
                      -Hypatia of Alexandria

 
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hypatia:
free thinker:

 

Wow I didn't know you left that long ago.

 

 

ft

 

I had to smile, FT.

Is that the nice way of saying kidnappers must not be very interested in me?

 

or that

 

I remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

                                                 -George Burns

 

 

No silly girl. No such implications. I just thought you left the Church like four or five years ago. Don't know why.

 

 

Gotta love that Burns quote though. 

 

 

Hugs

 

ft

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It is one’s willingness to become uncomfortable and face the fear that what we might uncover could rock the foundations of our world that will allow us to escape the bonds of Mormonism.

INTROSPECT

 
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I officially left the church when I was 26, although I started questioning the truthfulness of the gospel when I was 11 or 12, and had real issues all through my teens.  When I was a month shy of my 18th birthday, I made the conscious decision not to pay tithing anymore and that's when things really escalated for me.  I couldn't financially support a church that I thought was so hypocritical and unloving.  It took about 8 years for me to be able to say to my family and friends that I didn't believe any of it was true.  That was very difficult since every single friend I had was a devout Mormon (I grew up in Centerville, UT - not my fault).  
 
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My departure more or less happened when I was 22, and I'm not sure what came first -- leaving the church or the quarter-life crisis! Anyway, yeah, count me in -- and frankly I feel very lucky that it happened when it did, and not a lot later, as it well could have. 

 

OR -- I COULD STILL BE IN IT.

 

Happy Halloween!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!  

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october:
Unfortunately for me my "quarterlife crisis" brought me into the church at 23, but a mid-life crisis led me out at 41!

 

 Similar story for me ... I joined at the age of 21 and stopped believing in my 30's.

 
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I guess you could say that.  I was a 22 year old BYU Junior when I stopped going to church.  I was not ever fully active in the church again, although I was still a believer for 7 more years.

 

It was my church situation that caused my quarterlife crisis.  It was very intertwined with the church and the whole thing came crashing down around me.

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I don’t want to ruin the ending for you ...... but it’s all going to be okay.

 
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I guess my quarter life crisis was the time I was in the church, as I was a hormonal convert at 25, then quit almost a year later at 26, with my resignation being sent months later.
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I’m proud to be a B.I.T.C.H (Being In Total Control of Herself)

 
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Quimby:
"The quarterlife crisis," according to quarterlifecrisis.com, "is essentially a period of anxiety, uncertainty and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood."

When I began my exit from Mormonism, I was 22, fresh out of college and having major anxiety about what to do with my life. I had no enthusiasm for what I had studied in college and was hating my temp job in a related field. I had planned my whole life to be a SAHM, but with my faith dimming, I was becoming unsure about everything.

Getting out of Mormonism at that time was part of the whole process, I think, of figuring out who the "adult me" was. Most of the time, I am relieved that I left then, while I still had time to radically change the direction of my life. Without religion telling me what to do, I became serious about a career, furthered my education and work experience, and lived in a few new places.

But at the same time, there is so much instability and confusion that comes with transitioning into adulthood. There are so many crossroads, and while I'm glad I can now make authentic choices and make my own mistakes... once in a while, I wish I had left a little later, once I had lived out these crazy 20's with that absolute certainty that I used to have as a Mormon.

Anybody relate?

 

That's why I don't really regret having been raised Mormon. I had great parents and the church definitely promotes clean living which IMO is a better path than most especially for teenagers, etc. I just lucked out a little in that I realized something was not quite right and then gave myself some time to figure it all out.

 
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liveitout:

John Mayer - Why Georgia

 

This is the perfect song for this post... Here's the lyrics:

 

I am driving up 85 in the
Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom
4 more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind

Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul

Either way I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down

Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
Still "everything happens for a reason"
Is no reason not to ask myself
 


If I am living it right
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?

Why Georgia, why? 

 

 If I lived up 85 (likely in Gwinnett County), I'd have issues too.    Bwhahaha.  

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evil_archer:
I guess my quarter life crisis was the time I was in the church, as I was a hormonal convert at 25, then quit almost a year later at 26, with my resignation being sent months later.

 

 

This brings up an interesting question: who has the shortest LDS membership on record on this site.

 

Kudos for a quick and accurate bullspit-o-meter!

 

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“Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all.”
                      -Hypatia of Alexandria

 
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First of all, I had no idea one got a quarter life crisis. I now demand a crisis every life hour on the life hour.

 

But to answer the question more seriously, I left as part of striking out on my own and establishing my adult identity. I do think that is a good time to do it -- before you have invested too much of your money, time, and heart. But it had been coming for some time when I left at 18. I remember telling my dad when I was between 9 and 11 that I found it just a little too good to be true that I just happened to be born into the only true religion. I mean -- what are the chances? I disliked church by 16 but did not stop going until I was no longer under my family's roof. I thought it was a matter of respect, and I don't regret it. I knew through and through by the time I left that I didn't want to be Mormon. You couldn't pay me enough.

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A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.Oscar Wilde

 
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I actually began seriously doubting during my mission--questioning the "inspiration" of the GA's, the president, the AP's and the ZL's.  I'd had some bad experiences at YBU and then I had a couple of bad experiences with administration in the MTC and hated how I was being treated like a ten-year-old (I'm 22 years old and have to ask permission of a pimply 19-year-old to go to the bathroom?  WTF?)  So I came home from a mission, married in the temple, had my first three children blessed in the church--the first two were baptized--and about fifteen years later gave up pretending and quit going to church. 

 

As I was going through the Denver airport to fly to my hometown on the way home from the mish, whom should I run into but the bishop of my home ward.  I couldn't duck him since we were sharing a flight on a small plane.  He was a great guy.  So he turns to me and says, "I hope that you stay active and use what you've learned on your mission to help strengthen the ward here."  Then he proceeded to name several RM's from our ward who were now completely inactive.  I remember thinking, "I totally understand why," but he was such a nice guy, I thought:  "Well, maybe I can separate the Gospel of Jesus Christ from the organization."  Obviously, that only worked for a little while, especially after finding out about what a fraud and a charlatan JS was.

 

Bottom line:  I wish I'd followed my heart and left before my quarterlife birthday.

 

hartlyn

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I had doubts that I pushed aside from the time I was about 17.  I figured it was all *me* and I still wanted that perfect fairytale LDS life and thought that is what I was suppose to do.

 

Anyway, at 24 and pregnant with my 2nd child, I stumbled upon the ani-mormon liteature and it corrupted me and now I've been over-taken by Satan.

 

I'm now almost 30 and am on my way out (I'm out in my mind and have been for some time) but I'm waiting for my 32 year old DH to come to his senses.

 

Some people seem to figure this stuff out and leave within weeks or months or even up to a year.  Not my stubborn mule DH.  It's been 5 years and he's finally got one foot out the door.  THANK GAWD!  I'm tired of waiting!

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Truth shall set you free.

 
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Anyone else leave during their quarterlife crisis?

 

Well, my first thought was, "I don't know how long I'll live, so ... I don't know."

 

But if you go by this definition:

"The quarterlife crisis," according to quarterlifecrisis.com, "is essentially a period of anxiety, uncertainty and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood."

 

... Then I'd say leaving Mormonism certainly felt like a kick in the seat of the pants to become more of a real adult - with real adult concerns about things like integrity & ethics, parenting, and finding my best place in the world around me.

 

So leaving religion behind, in a way, becomes everyone's quarterlife crisis.

 

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