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The virtual Nookie in us all, LDS included
 
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Joined  2009-10-07

I Nooki, having been born...

A new Barnes and Noble Nook color-screen ereader with wifi may break down the morg internet barrier. B&N have a download for "LDS library" with a hyper-linked, searchable, highlightable, note-taking quad, hymnal, family proclamation and more, costing $10 for the escriptures and $250 for the device. I downloaded a sample of the lds lib, and it seems to be missing the footnotes.

The original nook, costing $200, had free 3g connection (for downloading erotica in sacrament), but uses a B&W non touch display as its main screen.

The new one is essentially a stripped down ipad, focused on book reading. If I were sill tbm, I'd get the color nook and cover it in gold monogrammed leather binding.
 
 
Many TBMs feel their scriptures are personal and almost a part of them, as a unique extension of their mind.

The Nook escriptures take on a new meaning for the very self-indulging scriptorian.

With its touch screen, readers will easily handle finding meaning for their inner needs by digital manipulation, in what some may define as sin.

They'll call touching that extended screen-self:
(wait for it...)
 
 Rasterbation

No word from the LDSinc whether the youth will be given pamphlets and instructions not to rasterbate in church, or at home (especially using wifi instead of wifey).

The favorite e-hymns for rasterbators everywhere?

Hold To The Rod and Come Come, Ye Saints.
 
------
ras·ter·ba·tion (r s t r b sh n). n. 1. The act of digitally manipulating the raster-scan, touch-sensitive screens of handheld objects and devices for the purpose of self-pleasure.  2. Tiled printing, sometimes known as rasterbating, is a feature of ...
 
 
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Elohim won’t give amputees back their arms and legs, but he did give Joseph Smith an extra Fanny (Alger).

Watch Gordy testify of Jesus Smith.

 
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Joined  2009-01-12

Hilarious.

 

The fun never ends.

 

(DW will hear about this.) 

 
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Joined  2009-07-27

Jesus Smith:
I Nooki, having been born...


The new one is essentially a stripped down ipad, focused on book reading. If I were sill tbm, I'd get the color nook and cover it in gold monogrammed leather binding.

 

dude that is so funny.  I mean really.

 Signature 

Well I wonder
Do you hear me when you sleep?
I hoarsely cry
Well I wonder
Do you see me when we pass?
I half die
Please keep me in mind
Please keep me in mind
Gasping - but somehow still alive
This is the fierce last stand of all I am
Gasping - dying - but somehow still alive
This is the final stand of all I am
Please keep me in mind
Well I wonder
Well I wonder
Please keep me in mind
Oh, keep me in mind
Keep me in mind


Well I Wonder
The Smiths
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UG1jpD6t088

 
       
 


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