Oh yea, I said it. The holy ghost sucks my ass. He is a loser. He is selfish and he obviously does not do his job. The holy ghost drops the ball every chance he gets. Pass him the ball and you can count on him to throw it into the stands and leave the building.
Ever notice how the holy ghost gets out of dodge at the first sign of trouble? I mean is he THAT sensitive? Why do we constantly have to talk about NOT offending the holy ghost? I mean isn't the dude like millions of years old at this point? Has he not seen it all? I guess not because it seems he still runs for cover when like a 14 year old boy is playing violent video games or looking at a naked lady. Jesus christ the holy ghost is invisible, how many naked ladies do you think he has seen at this point? But no, that kid, who just killed another dude playing black ops or is looking at some chick in a victorias secret catalog, he is on his own because like elvis, the holy ghost has left the building. Imagine being in a foxhole with the holy ghost. He is your best buddy. Telling jokes, saying how we are going to get those guys and then as soon as the bullets start firing, you look to your right and he is.................gonzo. I mean if the HG is not around after say 10 minutes of "sin" and working hard to get you to stop or whatever, what good it HE?
Were we not all given the gift of the holy ghost? Some gift. If it only helps out when you are righteous and not when you are making mistakes I mean, what good is he? And another thing, so say I steal the proverbial candy bar, yeah that's right, the f ing candy bar and the holy ghost, well, he is grieved and he bails faster than usain bolt coming out of the blocks.......when does he come back? Oh, that's right, I have to beg for him to come back, I have to plead............and for what, so the dude can come back and be with me until I make a mistake again? Yeah, that sounds good because I will probably be making another mistake in about..............wait for it............wait for it........5 minutes. Thanks a lot holy ghost, you dumb ass.
And why won't he do his freaking job? I remember praying each night in the MTC, crying and begging God to let me know the book and the church were true.......nothing. No wonder the New Era put out that fake story last year about the girl who read and prayed about the book 4 TIMES and never got an answer.........the 5th time? What does she do? She decides she does not even have to pray because she simply already knows its true. Nice work holy ghost. Finally, on the bottom bunk at the mtc, I had worked myself up into such an emotional state and while laying in bed, trying to stare inside my own body for an answer, finally I just said, ok, I have been answered. What a bunch of shit. But no, the holy ghost is an equal opportunity pussy because did he ever answer any of my investigators when they tried out Moroni's promise? Nope.
I distinctly remember my first discussion and that we challenged her to read the scriptures and do moronis promise. After the discussion, I told my comp how it is basically game over and she is going to get dunked. Well, guess f ing what? We go back and lo and behold she said she did not feel anything.........I mean where the hell were you holy ghost? Were you out playing cards with Light of Christ or something? After about six months I realized it was not because they were sinning or not even trying the promise, I realized the holy ghost just was not answering them. I wised up and totally soft sold moronis promise and focused more on dunking them for social and personality reasons. That was a lot easier than relying on the laziest member of the god head, the holy ghost. I had one girl my whole mission out of over a hundred people who said she got a spiritual confirmation that the book was true. Less than 1% success rate. I mean door to door fliers have yield a higher rate of return than the holy ghost.
I love it when people get up to speak in church, in any church setting and they HOPE and PRAY the holy ghost will be with them.......wtf? Shouldn't the holy ghost ALREADY be with them? I mean is it that hard to get the holy ghost just to show up? Maybe we should ask him what treats he likes and just leave a bowl of them up on the podium of the chapel. People would be like, "hey, what is with the bowl of yellow only M&Ms?" and the bishop would be like, "well, we got a letter from the first presidency saying that the holy ghost likes, M&Ms, but only the yellow ones, if the bowl has any brown or red ones, he gets pissed".......................and what does that say about the god damn congregation? I mean they were all baptized and given the holy ghost,.......is He just really good at making babies cry and dads surf their iphones and moms looking at other moms and their boob jobs and nice clothes?
When I was starting to learn the truth about the church, the joke sure was on me because I fasted and prayed while I did it. I thought the Holy Ghost would manifest the truth of ALL THINGS and god dammit, if god made that boring book from rock and a hat, well, ok,............but did the holy ghost let me know the rock and the hat, and the masonry, and the polygamy and the book of abraham and all the rest....did HE let me know it was all good? Hell no! did it matter I had over 35 years of committed discipleship under my belt and a shitload of tithing and temple attendance? Nope. It did not matter because he wimped out big time. He was a f ing no show. At least HE is consistent........................
The holy ghost may be the biggest joke the church has going. My favorite is at the end of some meetings, some big shot gets up and says "the holy ghost has been with us and fed us"....or whatever. Really? Where was he? Did somebody set up a recliner or something for him up on the stage? Was up there sitting where the ward clerks used to sit in the 80s? WTF?????!!!!! Why does somebody need to point it out anyway? Should we not have all got the HG memo during the meeting?
And WHAT is the holy ghost anyway? We of course know he is a dude but maybe the problem is he has too many roles to fill. I mean what the hell is the holy spirit of promise anyway? I remember when I would sin, thinking well, RIGHT NOW, my marriage is NOT sealed by the holy spirit of promise and that if i did not beg and plead and repent RIGHT NOW and I died that I may not have an eternal marriage.....how stupid is the holy spirit of promise? The light of christ? is that the HGs like younger brother or something? The Testator? Really? Ask all of the investigators from my mission how that worked out. The Comforter? Come on. Really? Maybe he only shows up when people pass way but at my Grandmas funeral I pretty much saw only people comforting my Mom.....and when she was alone, she was a mess. Thanks for having my back on that one HG! The Spirit? Well what does that mean anyway.....because you know there was always some sort of difference when talking about the HOLY GHOST and the spirit. Kinda like the spirit was sort of the invisible slime left behind as the HG moves at a billion mph around the world......like ghost busters, "He, slimed me, and I feel sooooooooo good" Members walk around on sunday as if they have this slime all over them..........talk about a snipe hunt.
burning of the bosom? Isn't that like porn or something? Galatians 5:22? Aren't those just normal people feelings? HG, couldn't you just take the time to do something unique? members look for the holy ghost like people search themselves after they think they have been pick-pocketed.
If the holy ghost were a friend, he would be the kind of friend who only shows up when things are good and you are flush with money and then asks you for a loan.
Look, I'm done with the Holy Ghost. He is a bastard and can go screw himself. I am tired of pretending something is there when it is not. I am tired of hearing Casper the Freindly Ghost get all this credit for shit that just happens anyway and is part of a normal life experience.
I love it, Lloyd. The HG never was there for me neither.
But be careful. Your diatribe against the HG might get you cast into outer darkness.
The doctrine of "UNPARDONABLE SIN" always bothered me. Denying a entity that I never felt or knew was worst than murder? What a crock of shit. It made no sense to me.
If what this loser said is true , then Heavenly Father is a horrible, hands-off parent, Heavenly Mother is an absentee, passive-aggressive bitch hiding behind the Big Men, Jesus is going to pretend not to know us if we ever reach the pearly gates because we don't have any incontrovertible evidence of his existence (thanks, bro!!), and the Holy Ghost gets to dick us all around at his pleasure. "Oooh, I don't have a body, but I can transport God's sperm!!" (Yeah, that makes sense.)
I wish you would have just cut the bull-crap and told us what YOU REALLY THINK, Lloyd!
I am in the same boat. Never got a confirmation on the BOM being true. I did the same thing, just convinced myself that I "already had the answer, I KNEW ALREADY", he didn't have to give me the burning tit feeling.
And then when I got married, you know an important decision in your life, well I fasted and prayed to know and got nothing, again.
Again, and again, nothing.
Every now and again I got random heart-burn, thought maybe it was the holy spook making an appearance.
Actually, to be a bit more mature, I do believe in "god" and I do believe we get a little bit of help, every now and again. But it does not happen as a result of prayer or living right, it just happens. Why? Now this is my opinion...we have a "life path" and we don't realize it but we are following along a path that we were intended to be in. Sometimes we need a little help to stay the course. Then we get it. Very rare thing, but it happens.
If we could find that bastard we could kill him........maybe if we click sticks together and walk out into the forrest we can find him..............great link!
I wish you would have just cut the bull-crap and told us what YOU REALLY THINK, Lloyd!
I am in the same boat. Never got a confirmation on the BOM being true. I did the same thing, just convinced myself that I "already had the answer, I KNEW ALREADY", he didn't have to give me the burning tit feeling.
And then when I got married, you know an important decision in your life, well I fasted and prayed to know and got nothing, again.
Again, and again, nothing.
Every now and again I got random heart-burn, thought maybe it was the holy spook making an appearance.
Actually, to be a bit more mature, I do believe in "god" and I do believe we get a little bit of help, every now and again. But it does not happen as a result of prayer or living right, it just happens. Why? Now this is my opinion...we have a "life path" and we don't realize it but we are following along a path that we were intended to be in. Sometimes we need a little help to stay the course. Then we get it. Very rare thing, but it happens.
Dude I am totally with you. Belief in God is fine by me and I respect people who do believe in God............if anything I think the Mormon concept of the holy ghost short changes what someone can get out of believing in God.
We didn't shake enough beads, or donate enough money to get the ghost to stay glued to our souls. (And one gets exed if they even entertain the idea that the ghost might be female.) The myth falls apart as Lloyd said.
Thanks Lloyd for making me laugh this morning - I really needed it!
I also never got a "witness" about the BoM, or any answers to prayers, or any promptings to say specific things during a blessing/talk/lesson. Several years back I had an extremely difficult decision to make about a job offer I had received. I prayed and prayed hoping for inspiration to make the best decision for my family. I was a life long full tithe paying active member trying his best to do what was right. Do you think that meant I could get an answer to my prayer? Of course not. Not even the slightest feeling one way or another. I just assumed I was not worthy enough.
Now when I think of all the time I spent stressing over not being able to feel the special magical promptings of an invisible divine being it kinda pisses me off. All that time I felt unworthy and inferior to those in my ward who seemed to have spiritual promptings five times before breakfast. Kiss my ass, HG!
If what this loser said is true , then Heavenly Father is a horrible, hands-off parent, Heavenly Mother is an absentee, passive-aggressive bitch hiding behind the Big Men, Jesus is going to pretend not to know us if we ever reach the pearly gates because we don't have any incontrovertible evidence of his existence (thanks, bro!!), and the Holy Ghost gets to dick us all around at his pleasure. "Oooh, I don't have a body, but I can transport God's sperm!!" (Yeah, that makes sense.)
What a horrible family dynamic!
Which Heavenly Mother? If it is anything like the TSCC version there could be hundreds. Perhaps those excommunicated for espousing a Heavenly Mother were excommunicated because they didn't recognize all of them not just a single one. There is the Blonde HM, the Brunette HM, the Ginger HM, the Bitchy one, the Butch one etc.
I've noticed over the couple years I've been on postmo & exmo forums that many/most exmos feel they never got the holy ghosty baptism by fire-rebirth burning soul experience. I've also heard a lot of members use this as a reason why there's apostasy--you were never really converted by the spirit.
Not that it matters--those nay-sayers are also pussies with holy. They haven't got the balls to read the real history and see the doctrinal issues and lies of Joe Smith.
But, in response to this silly claim that we're all apostates because we were never really converted by the spirit, I open my journal to you with explanation. (this is from the thread I linked above.)
===
As a young missionary in the MTC, deciding I had to get the deep holy ghosty confirmation if I was gonna ask investigators to try the spirits, I went on a journey. I fasted and prayed nearly constantly. Two days into my fast, with no food and very very little water, I sat in class while the MTC instructor told us that he felt prompted we would feel the spirit strong that day as he told us about Joe Smith's 1st vision. I was drained and worn from fasting, but onward I pushed. Not long into it, as I prayed hard, focused intently, I got a very sudden euphoric feeling. It began in my head, moved through my body and caused a feeling of floating, elevation and alertness that was hugely envigorating in contrast to the drained feeling I'd had only minutes before. I felt elation and expansion in my chest, and a desire to go do loving things for others. It was utter evidence to me. It was my rebirth. I drew upon that experience for the next two decades, until I found the real facts.
(Likewise, General Authority Gene R. Cook had me relate this experience to the missionaries when I was assistant to the prez, and he concluded that my experience is the prototypical spiritual rebirth story. That I was a true example of having received the first comforter. So members can't argue well against it)
But I ask, really? Feelings guide us to factual answers? So, Mr. Mo, are you saying that bosom-burnings and stupor of thoughts are from god? Or could they be from our minds?
Fast-forward to my disaffection, to understand what had happened to me in the MTC (and to lesser effect various moments later), I researched out Fasting Ketosis. I found this study:
Which clearly states in biochemese: mild euphoria often noted with fasting or low-carbohydrate diets may be due to shared actions of BHB and GHB on the brain. Specifically, I propose that BHB, like GHB, induces mild euphoria by being a weak partial agonist for GABAB receptors.
GABA can act as an antagonist to increases opiate euphoria in other studies. Deplete the brain of glucose (fasting and thinking hard--meditating), and ketones (GHB/GABA are products in the chain) are produced which can act at receptors in analogus ways to opiates. That is, this is right in the pathway of the brain that responds to opiate reactions and euphoria. Fasting can get you mildly and temporarily high. That is the spirit?
I always thought I was the weak one. That I must be doing something so wrong that he refused to manifest himself no matter how much I asked or how much I tried to be good. Surely it couldn't be the HG so it must be ME.
Totally OT, but I just noticed your signature. Good to see another Rage Against the Machine fan. Sometimes it just feels good to let all the anger and aggression out, at least musically speaking. My man Zack has some seriously righteous anger going on.
Ahhh! Driving around Provo back in my BYU days, blasting 'Killing in the Name'. Must have been on the road to apostasy even then, just didn't know it yet.
And cut the Holy Ghost some slack. Everything good gets corrupted by contact with Mormonism.
Totally OT, but I just noticed your signature. Good to see another Rage Against the Machine fan. Sometimes it just feels good to let all the anger and aggression out, at least musically speaking. My man Zack has some seriously righteous anger going on.
Ahhh! Driving around Provo back in my BYU days, blasting 'Killing in the Name'. Must have been on the road to apostasy even then, just didn't know it yet.
And cut the Holy Ghost some slack. Everything good gets corrupted by contact with Mormonism.
And you know, now that I know where you are coming from regarding your current religious status, I could not agree more. The holy ghost of mormonism is a trouble maker. Everything he does is game based on conditions and strings attached. there is just no way God would behave like this.....no way.
and dude you gotta love the rage......btw, i drove around provo in 1989 blasting NWA and EZ E. would play it real loud while getting gas at the chevron off university. people would get so pissed. Some rebel I was though. Never did anything with girls......thanks again holy ghost.
and dude you gotta love the rage......btw, i drove around provo in 1989 blasting NWA and EZ E. would play it real loud while getting gas at the chevron off university. people would get so pissed. Some rebel I was though. Never did anything with girls......thanks again holy ghost.
God help us! Eazy E (may he rest in peace)! You must be straight outta Compton. I trust you were listening to the radio side, not the street side on the tape.
I'm not like Robin Hood, cause I want more
Steal from the rich, hang with the poor
Thanks, Lloyd. One of the funniest threads in a while.
Here are three myths about the HG that I was taught during my youth/mission:
(1) During my teenage years, I was constantly told that the HG went to bed at midnight. The implicit message being that if you were up past midnight you were going to do something naughty, in violation of the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet.
(2) During my mission, I was told by a visiting GA that the HG never sleeps--and that is why the HG can testify to the truthfulness of TSCC.
(3) My first mission president always held zone conferences in small rooms because "you can feel the HG better in small places." Makes perfect sense.
The Mormon concept of the HG is pure BS...and in reference to Eazy E, I think his best song was "Boyz in the Hood," as performed by Dynamite Hack.
(1) During my teenage years, I was constantly told that the HG went to bed at midnight. The implicit message being that if you were up past midnight you were going to do something naughty, in violation of the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet.
When I was dating I often waited until after midnight to try and kiss the girl because I didn't want the HG to interfere with my plans to French kissing and other banned activities. At 12:05 AM I attempted an elicit move and the girl wanted it. Thus, providing evidence that the Holy Ghost really does go to bed at midnight.
The Mormon concept of the HG is pure BS...and in reference to Eazy E, I think his best song was "Boyz in the Hood," as performed by Dynamite Hack.
lol, thanks for reminding me about that Eazy E cover. That one was over the top.
Now I can't stop smiling
I am sharing a smile as well.........wait was that the holy ghost I just felt or the spirit of the Eaz saying:
Eazy E rockin' non stop on the radio
with the funky fresh hip hop in stereo
Release some rhymes that you will find demandin'
with Dre's beats that are so outstandin'
I'm gettin' busy if you know what I mean
Always settin' me a mark in the hip hop scene
On the radio the greatest of all times
like Mohammed Ali cause I punch rhymes
So tune your station, and clear all the static
and tell the truth: you didn't know that I had it
in me, to be easy about the situation
So just kick it and listen to the station
playin' my music, it's hard to lose it
It's constantly on request cause you choose it
I'm Eazy E, my rap is strong
and your radio's def when my record's on
I guarantee you Eazy E is kicking the crap out of the HG right freaking now.
(1) During my teenage years, I was constantly told that the HG went to bed at midnight. The implicit message being that if you were up past midnight you were going to do something naughty, in violation of the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet.
When I was dating I often waited until after midnight to try and kiss the girl because I didn't want the HG to interfere with my plans to French kissing and other banned activities. At 12:05 AM I attempted an elicit move and the girl wanted it. Thus, providing evidence that the Holy Ghost really does go to bed at midnight.
How is that for a faith promoting story?
LOL. This is exactly why I come to Postmo. There is no where else on mother earth we can talk about waiting till after midnight to sneak a little frenching behind the ghost's back and everyone gets it without explanation. Being a mormon/ex-mo does in fact make us a peculiar people. But the fun didn't begin till after leaving.
Dude, news flash, the holy ghost has been loafing his mule for millions of years...Where have you been man? He is not doing jack shit. Tell you what, why don't you take that real estate you have reserved for outer darkness and build another condo mall project.
I've noticed over the couple years I've been on postmo & exmo forums that many/most exmos feel they never got the holy ghosty baptism by fire-rebirth burning soul experience. I've also heard a lot of members use this as a reason why there's apostasy--you were never really converted by the spirit.
Not that it matters--those nay-sayers are also pussies with holy. They haven't got the balls to read the real history and see the doctrinal issues and lies of Joe Smith.
But, in response to this silly claim that we're all apostates because we were never really converted by the spirit, I open my journal to you with explanation. (this is from the thread I linked above.)
===
As a young missionary in the MTC, deciding I had to get the deep holy ghosty confirmation if I was gonna ask investigators to try the spirits, I went on a journey. I fasted and prayed nearly constantly. Two days into my fast, with no food and very very little water, I sat in class while the MTC instructor told us that he felt prompted we would feel the spirit strong that day as he told us about Joe Smith's 1st vision. I was drained and worn from fasting, but onward I pushed. Not long into it, as I prayed hard, focused intently, I got a very sudden euphoric feeling. It began in my head, moved through my body and caused a feeling of floating, elevation and alertness that was hugely envigorating in contrast to the drained feeling I'd had only minutes before. It was utter evidence to me. It was my rebirth. I drew upon that experience for the next two decades, until I found the real facts.
(Likewise, General Authority Gene R. Cook had me relate this experience to the missionaries when I was assistant to the prez, and he concluded that my experience is the prototypical spiritual rebirth story. That I was a true example of having received the first comforter. So members can't argue well against it)
But I ask, really? Feelings guide us to factual answers? So, Mr. Mo, are you saying that bosom-burnings and stupor of thoughts are from god? Or could they be from our minds?
Fast-forward to my disaffection, to understand what had happened to me in the MTC (and to lesser effect various moments later), I researched out Fasting Ketosis. I found this study:
Which clearly states in biochemese: mild euphoria often noted with fasting or low-carbohydrate diets may be due to shared actions of BHB and GHB on the brain. Specifically, I propose that BHB, like GHB, induces mild euphoria by being a weak partial agonist for GABAB receptors.
GABA can act as an antagonist to increases opiate euphoria in other studies. Deplete the brain of glucose (fasting and thinking hard--meditating), and ketones (GHB/GABA are products in the chain) are produced which can act at receptors in analogus ways to opiates. That is, this is right in the pathway of the brain that responds to opiate reactions and euphoria. Fasting can get you mildly and temporarily high. That is the spirit?
I couldn't agree more. I had almost the exact experience you did.
Mormonism (and religion in general) has hijaacked the very real and very non-supernatural emotions of elevation and awe and given them metaphysical significance.
GABA can act as an antagonist to increases opiate euphoria in other studies. Deplete the brain of glucose (fasting and thinking hard--meditating), and ketones (GHB/GABA are products in the chain) are produced which can act at receptors in analogus ways to opiates. That is, this is right in the pathway of the brain that responds to opiate reactions and euphoria. Fasting can get you mildly and temporarily high. That is the spirit?
[...]
Perhaps this could be a small part of your biology's way of telling you that thinking hard is good for you (your basic means of survival.) Why would humans have evolved such big brains if survival chances weren't enhanced by some seriously complex thought. (More-so, because in the primitive groups that humans evolved in, the current size of babies' brains is actually a significant threat to the mother at childbirth.)
I know that I have had some great euphoric/proud/excited rushes after using my mind to figure out a problem; though, the effect is much more than the described ketone effect, I'm sure. It's the emotion that stems from an affirmation of my own capability to understand and deal with the world.
This post really gave me a burning in my bosom. I never had such a warm feeling from the HG so let me publicy denounce that SOB. I will now, and forever, worship Lloyd.
Dede, you nearly made coffee come out my nostrils. I have to say, I agree with you and I have always wondered why women are the ones who rode side saddle!?!? All of our gear is tucked nicely away.
This post really gave me a burning in my bosom. I never had such a warm feeling from the HG so let me publicy denounce that SOB. I will now, and forever, worship Lloyd.
Dede, you nearly made coffee come out my nostrils. I have to say, I agree with you and I have always wondered why women are the ones who rode side saddle!?!? All of our gear is tucked nicely away.
Because you would have to "spread your legs" to do so? You know how those puritans are. You might "enjoy" having that saddle rub you between the legs and that would be very very wicked according to their worldview.
So funny! Let's see, so if I walk into an Institute or Sunday School class where the Spirit is whispering as strongly as an unembodied spirit can whisper, and shout the F-word as long as I can while slamming a Coors Light, I can drive away 1/3rd of the Godhood?! Wow, I didn't know I was more powerful than God. Satan is, too, apparently.
Which clearly states in biochemese: mild euphoria often noted with fasting or low-carbohydrate diets may be due to shared actions of BHB and GHB on the brain. Specifically, I propose that BHB, like GHB, induces mild euphoria by being a weak partial agonist for GABAB receptors.
GABA can act as an antagonist to increases opiate euphoria in other studies. Deplete the brain of glucose (fasting and thinking hard--meditating), and ketones (GHB/GABA are products in the chain) are produced which can act at receptors in analogus ways to opiates. That is, this is right in the pathway of the brain that responds to opiate reactions and euphoria. Fasting can get you mildly and temporarily high. That is the spirit?
Humans can "get high" hearing constant pounding of rhythm and musical phrases...it's called "hypnotic response/trance" state. Next up, Mormon sacrament meetings with an undertone drumbeat...(for the pseudo-spirit triggering.)
A Three Hour Bore:
So funny! Let's see, so if I walk into an Institute or Sunday School class where the Spirit is whispering as strongly as an unembodied spirit can whisper, and shout the F-word as long as I can while slamming a Coors Light, I can drive away 1/3rd of the Godhood?! Wow, I didn't know I was more powerful than God. Satan is, too, apparently.
That's right man! Even as your getting ready to drop the f bomb the HG is like "oh shit, it's coming, I better head to the doorway......and the you drop it and like Verbal in the Usual Suspects......
Verbal: After that my guess is that you will never hear from him again. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.
The greatest trick the Holy Ghost ever pulled was convincing Mormons he existed but was never there...............and like that...........he is gone.
The Holy Ghost and Keyser Soze have a lot in common come to think of it.
A Three Hour Bore:
So funny! Let's see, so if I walk into an Institute or Sunday School class where the Spirit is whispering as strongly as an unembodied spirit can whisper, and shout the F-word as long as I can while slamming a Coors Light, I can drive away 1/3rd of the Godhood?! Wow, I didn't know I was more powerful than God. Satan is, too, apparently.
That's right man! Even as your getting ready to drop the f bomb the HG is like "oh shit, it's coming, I better head to the doorway......and the you drop it and like Verbal in the Usual Suspects......
Verbal: After that my guess is that you will never hear from him again. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.
The greatest trick the Holy Ghost ever pulled was convincing Mormons he existed but was never there...............and like that...........he is gone.
The Holy Ghost and Keyser Soze have a lot in common come to think of it.
Keyser Söze=Roger "Verbal" Kint=Kevin Spacey. At least I've seen and was entertained by the fictional character, Keyser Söze. That's more than I can say about the HG.
I loved reading this. Like reading that pamphlet that said "Satan never gives up" and I have to ask why do God/Jesus/HG give up then? Satan is the true champion of the people if he never gives up. The HG books it at the first sign of trouble like a coward.
Ever notice how the holy ghost gets out of dodge at the first sign of trouble? I mean is he THAT sensitive?
I hear it's OK for him to be present at temple groundbreaking though, probably because he is a ghost so doesn't wear shoes that could get soiled.
This was an awesome rant, very cathartic just reading it. I agree that it would have been even better delivered live. I usually don't like to stir the pot, but there are times when I wish I could just let loose and go off on a kick ass rant like this in front of people....but alas, my rants are not nearly as kick ass and I'm too shy and afriad of inadvertantly hurting someone it was not directed at to do it in real life.
One of my all time favorite OPs. Read on my phone and couldn't comment at the time but brutha.......you got da team on your back. Glad it was bumped.
GL
Holy cow now I am getting misty eyed.
I mean don't you just get so pissed sometimes? God, I mean the years of manipulation and rationalization and guilt at the hands of...............oh yeah, at the hands of a god damn invisible person. I mean I just can't believe I tried to........tried hard to have a relationship with an invisible person who was supposed to be everywhere all at the same time.
the church really uses the holy ghost to control their members behavior. yet another reason why the church can go screw itself.
many people who posted on this thread are my favorites as well. one of these days we are all going to have to meet in vegas or something. I mean, the holy ghost is such a pussy there is no way he would go within a 100 miles of the vegas. Vegas is like a holy ghost free zone.
one of these days we are all going to have to meet in vegas or something. I mean, the holy ghost is such a pussy there is no way he would go within a 100 miles of the vegas. Vegas is like a holy ghost free zone.
Hey! I grew up in Vegas!
I also turned out to be a prideful, hard-hearted apostate, but all that happened in Utah not Vegas.
I am glad it was bumped too--Lloyd, my husband rarely ever reads here, but I showed him this post and he laughed until tears ran down his face. Now, whenever we get together with family or friends he pulls it up and then the laughs start all over again. If it was YouTube it would probably have thousands of "likes." This was certainly a case where laughter is the best medicine and provided a lot of healing.
I love it, Lloyd. The HG never was there for me neither.
, then Heavenly Father is a horrible, hands-off parent, Heavenly Mother is an absentee, passive-aggressive bitch hiding behind the Big Men, Jesus is going to pretend not to know us if we ever reach the pearly gates because we don't have any incontrovertible evidence of his existence (thanks, bro!!), and the Holy Ghost gets to dick us all around at his pleasure. "Oooh, I don't have a body, but I can transport God's sperm!!" (Yeah, that makes sense.)
