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The Holy Ghost is a pussy
 
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Two thoughts on reading the title of the thread and the OP:

 

1. Welcome to the Sons of Perdition! 

 

and:

 

2.  You are what you eat!  (oh, I guess that was me masturbating and not the actual Holy Ghost)   

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My soul was removed to make room for all this sarcasm.

 
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seeking peace:
I am glad it was bumped too--Lloyd, my husband rarely ever reads here, but I showed him this post and he laughed until tears ran down his face. Now, whenever we get together with family or friends he pulls it up and then the laughs start all over again.  If it was YouTube it would probably have thousands of "likes."  This was certainly a case where laughter is the best medicine and provided a lot of healing.

 

 And you gotta laugh about it.  I should fine tune that post and put it on youtube.  of course then I would get excommunicated for sure.  lol.  right now i just dance around the fire whenever I do make it to church.  last sunday, i went and some dude, who likes to talk to me because he knows I think the church is dumb and he knows I don't care and won't judge him, (ever notice if you still have to go that you become THAT person for those frustrated tbms?)....anyway, he was like, Lloyd I know you have problems with the culture etc but still deep down believe....and I was like are you kidding me?  I was like dude, the church is a total fraud.  At some point that crap is going to catch up to me....

 

anyway, we just have to have fun with it.  the irony is of course that I was devastated personally when I realized the church was not what it claimed......but I sure has hell am not going to let the church get the last laugh.  not with my life.

 

and good grief, so much of the church needs to be laughed at.........here is how dumb the holy ghost is.  i remember being in the marriot center during my time at byu, when some apostle basically said that he and his wife would pray before bed and then essentially, don't throw up, get it on, within the context that like the HG helped you have BETTER sex......i am not kidding at all, lol.

 

so the holy ghost can also help you have really good sex..... 

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When you’re on the outside baby and you can`t get in
I will show you you’re so much better than you know
When you’re lost and you’re alone and you can’t get back again
I will find you darling and I will bring you home


By Your Side
Sade
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl_vtVKOwns

 
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Lloyd Dobler:

 

 

If we could find that bastard we could kill him........maybe if we click sticks together and walk out into the forrest we can find him..............great link!

 

haha

According to a recent show on t.v. that's how you catch BigFoot, but you must not go with dogs and kids attract them.    Maybe the HG and BF are cousins?  

 

 

The spirits voice is so still and small that it's apparently  impossible to hear.  Listening became impossible.  Could be why they focus on the idea of feeling.

 I finally had to repeat a testimony  enough times until I began to believe it. 

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Joan:
Lloyd Dobler:

 

 

If we could find that bastard we could kill him........maybe if we click sticks together and walk out into the forrest we can find him..............great link!

 

haha

According to a recent show on t.v. that's how you catch BigFoot, but you must not go with dogs and kids attract them.    Maybe the HG and BF are cousins?  

 

 

The spirits voice is so still and small that it's apparently  impossible to hear.  Listening became impossible.  Could be why they focus on the idea of feeling.

 I finally had to repeat a testimony  enough times until I began to believe it. 

 

 The Candle of the Lord
BY ELDER BOYD K. PACKER
Of the Quorum of the Twelve

From a talk given at a seminar for new mission presidents, 25 June 1982.

 It is not unusual to have a missionary say, "How can I bear testimony until I get one? How can I testify that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, and that the gospel is true? If I do not have such a testimony, would that not be dishonest?"

Oh, if I could teach you this one principle. A testimony is to be found in the bearing of it! Somewhere in your quest for spiritual knowledge, there is that "leap of faith," as the philosophers call it. It is the moment when you have gone to the edge of the light and stepped into the darkness to discover that the way is lighted ahead for just a footstep or two. "The spirit of man," is as the scripture says, indeed "is the candle of the Lord." (Prov. 20:27.)

It is one thing to receive a witness from what you have read or what another has said; and that is a necessary beginning. It is quite another to have the Spirit confirm to you in your bosom that what you have testified is true. Can you not see that it will be supplied as you share it? As you give that which you have, there is a replacement, with increase!

 

 

Right there with you Joan.  if you say it enough times, and want it to be true and have pressure from friends and family for it to be true....viola!  the church is true!

 

which of course begs the question, if you are already saying you know the church is true, then why do you need the holy ghost at all?  so dumb. 

 

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When you’re on the outside baby and you can`t get in
I will show you you’re so much better than you know
When you’re lost and you’re alone and you can’t get back again
I will find you darling and I will bring you home


By Your Side
Sade
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl_vtVKOwns

 
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Lloyd Dobler:

 

and good grief, so much of the church needs to be laughed at.........here is how dumb the holy ghost is.  i remember being in the marriot center during my time at byu, when some apostle basically said that he and his wife would pray before bed and then essentially, don't throw up, get it on, within the context that like the HG helped you have BETTER sex......i am not kidding at all, lol.

 

so the holy ghost can also help you have really good sex..... 

 

I am still scarred by an early morning seminary devotional where the speaker spent 45 minutes convincing us that sex was a sacred menage-a-trois with Heavenly Father.  I didn't understand it then, but what an absolute mood killer.

 

It's the subject for another thread, but one of my biggest gripes with TSCC is how it completely elimates (most) women's sex drive...and praying before sex is basically going to mentally/emotionally put the chick into the prone cadaver position.

 

As for the HG, every time I was making a BIG decision, I sought his divine guidance...and every time it was crickets until I convinced myself that "the peace" I was feeling was telling me that I was making the right decision.  So damn dumb.  We do what we're comfortable with and then fabricate feelings to take us there.

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Lloyd Dobler:
Girded Loins:

Lloyd,

 

One of my all time favorite OPs.  Read on my phone and couldn't comment at the time but brutha.......you got da team on your back. Glad it was bumped.

 

GL

 

 Holy cow now I am getting misty eyed.

 

I mean don't you just get so pissed sometimes?  God, I mean the years of manipulation and rationalization and guilt at the hands of...............oh yeah, at the hands of a god damn invisible person.  I mean I just can't believe I tried to........tried hard to have a relationship with an invisible person who was supposed to be everywhere all at the same time.

 

the church really uses the holy ghost to control their members behavior.  yet another reason why the church can go screw itself. 

 

many people who posted on this thread are my favorites as well.  one of these days we are all going to have to meet in vegas or something.  I mean, the holy ghost is such a pussy there is no way he would go within a 100 miles of the vegas.  Vegas is like a holy ghost free zone. 

 

 In fact, they use three personages--all invisible--to control members.  The HG is like the informer.  He whispers and hovers and tattles.  God is the enforcer.  Jesus, well, he's a good drinking bud some of the time, but usually, it's just awkward being around him because he's got such a goddammed horrible martyr-victimhood complex.

 

Think about it, the trinity is the perfect team of manipulation:

 

- God the Father with his emotionally detached guilting and directly vengeaful attitude, causing fear if you don't obey.

 

- Jesus, the overly emotional, bleeding heart, whiny victim/martyr who shames us through our empathy and we feel inadequate for all the horrible shit we put him through.

 

- Holy Ghost, the passive agressive tail that gives us the silent treatment &  tattles on us to Daddy if we don't continually stay in line.  

 

The trifecta of control is perfect.  They're all assholes.

 

 

 

BTW, Lloyd, did you ever know a member in the greater Vegas area named David Sargeant?   

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Watch Gordy testify of Jesus Smith.

 
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Jesus Smith:
Lloyd Dobler:
Girded Loins:

Lloyd,

 

One of my all time favorite OPs.  Read on my phone and couldn't comment at the time but brutha.......you got da team on your back. Glad it was bumped.

 

GL

 

 Holy cow now I am getting misty eyed.

 

I mean don't you just get so pissed sometimes?  God, I mean the years of manipulation and rationalization and guilt at the hands of...............oh yeah, at the hands of a god damn invisible person.  I mean I just can't believe I tried to........tried hard to have a relationship with an invisible person who was supposed to be everywhere all at the same time.

 

the church really uses the holy ghost to control their members behavior.  yet another reason why the church can go screw itself. 

 

many people who posted on this thread are my favorites as well.  one of these days we are all going to have to meet in vegas or something.  I mean, the holy ghost is such a pussy there is no way he would go within a 100 miles of the vegas.  Vegas is like a holy ghost free zone. 

 

 In fact, they use three personages--all invisible--to control members.  The HG is like the informer.  He whispers and hovers and tattles.  God is the enforcer.  Jesus, well, he's a good drinking bud some of the time, but usually, it's just awkward being around him because he's got such a goddammed horrible martyr-victimhood complex.

 

Think about it, the trinity is the perfect team of manipulation:

 

- God the Father with his emotionally detached guilting and directly vengeaful attitude, causing fear if you don't obey.

 

- Jesus, the overly emotional, bleeding heart, whiny victim/martyr who shames us through our empathy and we feel inadequate for all the horrible shit we put him through.

 

- Holy Ghost, the passive agressive tail that gives us the silent treatment &  tattles on us to Daddy if we don't continually stay in line.  

 

The trifecta of control is perfect.  They're all assholes.

 

 

 

BTW, Lloyd, did you ever know a member in the greater Vegas area named David Sargeant?   

 Holy cow that was funny and so spot on.  it is the perfect manipulation.  The holy ghost is totally passive aggressive.  great call.

 

No, I don't know that dude.  My wife is from the vegas so we go there all the time though. 

 

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When you’re on the outside baby and you can`t get in
I will show you you’re so much better than you know
When you’re lost and you’re alone and you can’t get back again
I will find you darling and I will bring you home


By Your Side
Sade
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl_vtVKOwns

 
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Jesus Smith:

 

 In fact, they use three personages--all invisible--to control members.  The HG is like the informer.  He whispers and hovers and tattles.  God is the enforcer.  Jesus, well, he's a good drinking bud some of the time, but usually, it's just awkward being around him because he's got such a goddammed horrible martyr-victimhood complex.

 

Think about it, the trinity is the perfect team of manipulation:

 

- God the Father with his emotionally detached guilting and directly vengeaful attitude, causing fear if you don't obey.

 

- Jesus, the overly emotional, bleeding heart, whiny victim/martyr who shames us through our empathy and we feel inadequate for all the horrible shit we put him through.

 

- Holy Ghost, the passive agressive tail that gives us the silent treatment &  tattles on us to Daddy if we don't continually stay in line.  

 

The trifecta of control is perfect.  They're all assholes.

 

 

 

BTW, Lloyd, did you ever know a member in the greater Vegas area named David Sargeant?   

 

It is a triangle of sick co-dependence for sure. 

 

It seems the placement of the role of Jesus is crucial in this position and reminds me of the doormat mom in my family who buffered the unpredictably emotional loving-angry  dad and reminds the kids to soldier forward and be good, meek, long suffering, enduring,  being a rolemodel of that 'good' toward the family to keep it together no matter what's happening.    It's not a healthy role model, but it's the only one we had, so  I think of Jesus as that female mother role I grew up with, which kept the dysfunction rolling right along.    A lot of people think Jesus wasn't whiny but the brave savior and feel thankful for his example of being loving or brave and obedient in the face of danger. How or why they think he could take on their sins and save them is a great mystery beyond me, but they are told they need saving from fear of not going to heaven. Once I allowed myself to logically look at that concept the belief in the atonement fell away within days, after I recovered from my initial shock of believing a untruth. 

 

The concept of the *spirit* is a complete brainwasher isn't it?       The invisible helper who's watching over them  to guide and protect them.   If the holy spirit guides them to something good they give it credit.  If the guidance goes wrong, or he doesn't show up,  they try to find a way to make sense of it or ignore it.   

 I'm very grateful the holy spirit guided me out of the mormon organization and into the truth behind it.    I don't know what kind of spirit their professing, but it ain't holy. 

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Lloyd Dobler:
Girded Loins:

 

  one of these days we are all going to have to meet in vegas or something.  I mean, the holy ghost is such a pussy there is no way he would go within a 100 miles of the vegas.  Vegas is like a holy ghost free zone. 

 

Dude, in my book you are a postmo rockstar.  I'd fly to Vegas to shoot the shit and buy you a beer or 3. What would be even more awesome would be to bring DW and share a champagne toast with you and a Postmo Sis Dobler.  Can you imagine?  Until then.......wax on Bro ...wax on.

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Girded Loins:
Lloyd Dobler:
Girded Loins:

 

  one of these days we are all going to have to meet in vegas or something.  I mean, the holy ghost is such a pussy there is no way he would go within a 100 miles of the vegas.  Vegas is like a holy ghost free zone. 

 

Dude, in my book you are a postmo rockstar.  I'd fly to Vegas to shoot the shit and buy you a beer or 3. What would be even more awesome would be to bring DW and share a champagne toast with you and a Postmo Sis Dobler.  Can you imagine?  Until then.......wax on Bro ...wax on.

 

Count me IN. Meeting PostMo's in IRL is awesome. And meeting Brother Lloyd to hear him deliver this Holy Ghost rant in person would be EPIC.  

 

 
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Lloyd Dobler:
Elcid:

I wish you would have just cut the bull-crap and told us what YOU REALLY THINK, Lloyd!

 

I am in the same boat.  Never got a confirmation on the BOM being true.  I did the same thing, just convinced myself that I "already had the answer, I KNEW ALREADY", he didn't have to give me the burning tit feeling.

 

And then when I got married, you know an important decision in your life, well I fasted and prayed to know and got nothing, again.

 

Again, and again, nothing.

 

Every now and again I got random heart-burn, thought maybe it was the holy spook making an appearance.

 

Actually, to be a bit more mature, I do believe in "god" and I do believe we get a little bit of help, every now and again.  But it does not happen as a result of prayer or living right, it just happens.  Why?  Now this is my opinion...we have a "life path" and we don't realize it but we are following along a path that we were intended to be in.  Sometimes we need a little help to stay the course.  Then we get it.  Very rare thing, but it happens.

 

 

 

 Dude I am totally with you.  Belief in God is fine by me and I respect people who do believe in God............if anything I think the Mormon concept of the holy ghost short changes what someone can get out of believing in God.

 

What, exactly, is the difference between the two?

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AtheistAnarchist:
Lloyd Dobler:
Elcid:

I wish you would have just cut the bull-crap and told us what YOU REALLY THINK, Lloyd!

 

I am in the same boat.  Never got a confirmation on the BOM being true.  I did the same thing, just convinced myself that I "already had the answer, I KNEW ALREADY", he didn't have to give me the burning tit feeling.

 

And then when I got married, you know an important decision in your life, well I fasted and prayed to know and got nothing, again.

 

Again, and again, nothing.

 

Every now and again I got random heart-burn, thought maybe it was the holy spook making an appearance.

 

Actually, to be a bit more mature, I do believe in "god" and I do believe we get a little bit of help, every now and again.  But it does not happen as a result of prayer or living right, it just happens.  Why?  Now this is my opinion...we have a "life path" and we don't realize it but we are following along a path that we were intended to be in.  Sometimes we need a little help to stay the course.  Then we get it.  Very rare thing, but it happens.

 

 

 

 Dude I am totally with you.  Belief in God is fine by me and I respect people who do believe in God............if anything I think the Mormon concept of the holy ghost short changes what someone can get out of believing in God.

 

What, exactly, is the difference between the two?

 

 Between two what?

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When you’re on the outside baby and you can`t get in
I will show you you’re so much better than you know
When you’re lost and you’re alone and you can’t get back again
I will find you darling and I will bring you home


By Your Side
Sade
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl_vtVKOwns

 
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My comment has two points.  First, I wanted to keep this thread "new" and alive because it is one of the greatest threads in recent history.  Second, I wanted to share one of the greatest scenes in movie history, especially because it uses "pussy," which has--unfortunately--become a taboo word in everyday vernacular.

 

Enjoy the following from "Trading Places" with Eddie Murphy:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOAYURCY2RM

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Lloyd Dobler:

Oh yea, I said it.  The holy ghost sucks my ass.  He is a loser.  He is selfish and he obviously does not do his job.  The holy ghost drops the ball every chance he gets.  Pass him the ball and you can count on him to throw it into the stands and leave the building.

 

Ever notice how the holy ghost gets out of dodge at the first sign of trouble?  I mean is he THAT sensitive?  Why do we constantly have to talk about NOT offending the holy ghost?  I mean isn't the dude like millions of years old at this point?  Has he not seen it all?  I guess not because it seems he still runs for cover when like a 14 year old boy is playing violent video games or looking at a naked lady.  Jesus christ the holy ghost is invisible, how many naked ladies do you think he has seen at this point?  But no, that kid, who just killed another dude playing black ops or is looking at some chick in a victorias secret catalog, he is on his own because like elvis, the holy ghost has left the building.  Imagine being in a foxhole with the holy ghost.  He is your best buddy.  Telling jokes, saying how we are going to get those guys and then as soon as the bullets start firing, you look to your right and he is.................gonzo.  I mean if the HG is not around after say 10 minutes of "sin" and working hard to get you to stop or whatever, what good it HE?

 

Were we not all given the gift of the holy ghost?  Some gift.  If it only helps out when you are righteous and not when you are making mistakes I mean, what good is he?  And another thing, so say I steal the proverbial candy bar, yeah that's right, the f ing candy bar and the holy ghost, well, he is grieved and he bails faster than usain bolt coming out of the blocks.......when does he come back?  Oh, that's right, I have to beg for him to come back, I have to plead............and for what, so the dude can come back and be with me until I make a mistake again?  Yeah, that sounds good because I will probably be making another mistake in about..............wait for it............wait for it........5 minutes. Thanks a lot holy ghost, you dumb ass. 

 

And why won't he do his freaking job?  I remember praying each night in the MTC, crying and begging God to let me know the book and the church were true.......nothing.  No wonder the New Era put out that fake story last year about the girl who read and prayed about the book 4 TIMES and never got an answer.........the 5th time?  What does she do?  She decides she does not even have to pray because she simply already knows its true.  Nice work holy ghost.  Finally, on the bottom bunk at the mtc, I had worked myself up into such an emotional state and while laying in bed, trying to stare inside my own body for an answer, finally I just said, ok, I have been answered.  What a bunch of shit.  But no, the holy ghost is an equal opportunity pussy because did he ever answer any of my investigators when they tried out Moroni's promise?  Nope.  

 

I distinctly remember my first discussion and that we challenged her to read the scriptures and do moronis promise.  After the discussion, I told my comp how it is basically game over and she is going to  get dunked.  Well, guess f ing what?  We go back and lo and behold she said she did not feel anything.........I mean where the hell were you holy ghost?  Were you out playing cards with Light of Christ or something?  After about six months I realized it was not because they were sinning or not even trying the promise, I realized the holy ghost just was not answering them.  I wised up and totally soft sold moronis promise and focused more on dunking them for social and personality reasons.  That was a lot easier than relying on the laziest member of the god head, the holy ghost.  I had one girl my whole mission out of over a hundred people who said she got a spiritual confirmation that the book was true.  Less than 1% success rate.  I mean door to door fliers have yield a higher rate of return than the holy ghost.

 

I love it when people get up to speak in church, in any church setting and they HOPE and PRAY the holy ghost will be with them.......wtf?  Shouldn't the holy ghost ALREADY be with them?  I mean is it that hard to get the holy ghost just to show up?  Maybe we should ask him what treats he likes and just leave a bowl of them up on the podium of the chapel.  People would be like, "hey, what is with the bowl of yellow only M&Ms?" and the bishop would be like, "well, we got a letter from the first presidency saying that the holy ghost likes, M&Ms, but only the yellow ones, if the bowl has any brown or red ones, he gets pissed".......................and what does that say about the god damn congregation?  I mean they were all baptized and given the holy ghost,.......is He just really good at making babies cry and dads surf their iphones and moms looking at other moms and their boob jobs and nice clothes?

 

When I was starting to learn the truth about the church, the joke sure was on me because I fasted and prayed while I did it.  I thought the Holy Ghost would manifest the truth of ALL THINGS and god dammit, if god made that boring book from rock and a hat, well, ok,............but did the holy ghost let me know the rock and the hat, and the masonry, and the polygamy and the book of abraham and all the rest....did HE let me know it was all good?  Hell no!  did it matter I had over 35 years of committed discipleship under my belt and a shitload of tithing and temple attendance?  Nope.  It did not matter because he wimped out big time.  He was a f ing no show.  At least HE is consistent........................

 

The holy ghost may be the biggest joke the church has going.  My favorite is at the end of some meetings, some big shot gets up and says "the holy ghost has been with us and fed us"....or whatever.  Really?  Where was he?  Did somebody set up a recliner or something for him up on the stage?  Was up there sitting where the ward clerks used to sit in the 80s?  WTF?????!!!!!  Why does somebody need to point it out anyway?  Should we not have all got the HG memo during the meeting?

 

And WHAT is the holy ghost anyway?  We of course know he is a dude but maybe the problem is he has too many roles to fill.  I mean what the hell is the holy spirit of promise anyway?  I remember when I would sin, thinking well, RIGHT NOW, my marriage is NOT sealed by the holy spirit of promise and that if i did not beg and plead and repent RIGHT NOW and I died that I may not have an eternal marriage.....how stupid is the holy spirit of promise?  The light of christ?  is that the HGs like younger brother or something?  The Testator?  Really?  Ask all of the investigators from my mission how that worked out.  The Comforter?  Come on.  Really?  Maybe he only shows up when people pass way but at my Grandmas funeral I pretty much saw only people comforting my Mom.....and when she was alone, she was a mess.  Thanks for having my back on that one HG!  The Spirit?  Well what does that mean anyway.....because you know there was always some sort of difference when talking about the HOLY GHOST and the spirit.  Kinda like the spirit was sort of the invisible slime left behind as the HG moves at a billion mph around the world......like ghost busters, "He, slimed me, and I feel sooooooooo good"  Members walk around on sunday as if they have this slime all over them..........talk about a snipe hunt.

 

burning of the bosom?  Isn't that like porn or something?  Galatians 5:22?  Aren't those just normal people feelings?  HG, couldn't you just take the time to do something unique?  members look for the holy ghost like people search themselves after they think they have been pick-pocketed.

 

 If the holy ghost were a friend, he would be the kind of friend who only shows up when things are good and you are flush with money and then asks you for a loan.

 

Look, I'm done with the Holy Ghost.  He is a bastard and can go screw himself.  I am tired of pretending something is there when it is not.  I am tired of hearing Casper the Freindly Ghost get all this credit for shit that just happens anyway and is part of a normal life experience. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

that is pretty much one of the greatest things ive ever read on this site. or any site for that matter.

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Lloyd Dobler:
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Lloyd Dobler:

 

 

 Dude I am totally with you.  Belief in God is fine by me and I respect people who do believe in God............if anything I think the Mormon concept of the holy ghost short changes what someone can get out of believing in God.

 

What, exactly, is the difference between the two?

 

 Between two what?

 

Between the holy ghost and god.

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AtheistAnarchist:
Lloyd Dobler:
AtheistAnarchist:
Lloyd Dobler:

 

 

 Dude I am totally with you.  Belief in God is fine by me and I respect people who do believe in God............if anything I think the Mormon concept of the holy ghost short changes what someone can get out of believing in God.

 

What, exactly, is the difference between the two?

 

 Between two what?

 

Between the holy ghost and god.

 

 My particular comment here was within a more mormon context.  God, being say Heavenly Father or rather an ultimate supreme being and the holy ghost being the third member of the god head or rather a sort of errand boy/intermediary between me and God.  Look, I don't believe in God but if I still did I would definitely be ditching the holy ghost as some sort of necessary component of my worship.  Earlier in the thread Jesus has a pretty funny breakdown of the lds concept of the god head.

 

 

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After reading David Eagleman's Incognito, I have a vastly different view of the workings of the "Holy Ghost."  Eagleman makes a very strong argument that there is a tremendous amount going on in our brains of which we cannot ever be aware.  In fact, our conscious thoughts are only the very, very tip of the iceberg.  The brain does so many amazing things virtually all of the time.  There is no reason to believe that the "promptings" or feelings that we have are from an origin other than our own unknowable minds.   

 

I believe that there is a solid biological explanation for the feelings that most of us experience from time to time.  In my own life, I know that I have been guided by something other than my conscious self.  I have had profound, mystical experiences. As a result, I believe deeply that there is an ultimate force for good in the world.  However, I now believe that that force is part of our human nature, manifest through the subconscious mind, and evolutionary in origin.  

 

It is a fascinating read.  

http://www.eagleman.com/incognito

 

 

 
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falsefaith:

  In my own life, I know that I have been guided by something other than my conscious self.  

It is a fascinating read.  

http://www.eagleman.com/incognito

 

 

 

Thanks for the book link.  I'll have to read it.

I also am aware of  a conscious-subconscious type of situation, but the religious interpretation of that is....well....I refer back to Lloyd who describes it better than me.   

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If God is indeed the strapping young Norwegian he's made out to be, I'd totally be down for a ménage à trois!
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Hiker Daddy:

 

The Holy Ghost isn't unlikable. He is too weak to stick around when the going gets rough.

 

 

 

I'm not sure it's about being weak or even about being afraid.    I remember being told that the Holy Ghost dislikes evil and sin so we should resist the very appearance of evil for this reason, to have the HG as our constant companion and you don't want to scare him off with bad'ness'.   No matter why he doesn't like to be around bad stuff the problem is that    he certainly wasn't the best one for the position of guiding, given that it would make sense that a person  needs extra help when their in  'sinful' situations, not someone who'll duck out on them and won't be there for them for whatever reason.   

 My experience is that life has lots of problem stuff thrown at it, especially depending on where one lives.   Why have a helper who can't, or won't,  help in a situation on earth that will likely have bad moments.    

 

Here's a question:

If the HG doesn't like the appearance of bad or evil, how does he help children who are caught in some hellishly bad homes from no fault of their own?    Maybe that's why he's so wishy washy. He wants to help, he doesn't want to help, he wants to help, he doesn't want to help.... 

 

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Lloyd Dobler:

 

 Ok then.  Let's do our worst to the holy f ing ghost with gender neutral insults..........any suggestions?

 

 

 

The Holy Ghost is a Polack.

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Lord of Darkness:
Lloyd Dobler:

 

 Ok then.  Let's do our worst to the holy f ing ghost with gender neutral insults..........any suggestions?

 

 

 

The Holy Ghost is a Polack.

 

hey,  1/6  of me  resents  represents that.

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Joan:
Hiker Daddy:

 

The Holy Ghost isn't unlikable. He is too weak to stick around when the going gets rough.

 

 

 

I'm not sure it's about being weak or even about being afraid.    I remember being told that the Holy Ghost dislikes evil and sin so we should resist the very appearance of evil for this reason, to have the HG as our constant companion and you don't want to scare him off with bad'ness'.   No matter why he doesn't like to be around bad stuff the problem is that    he certainly wasn't the best one for the position of guiding, given that it would make sense that a person  needs extra help when their in  'sinful' situations, not someone who'll duck out on them and won't be there for them for whatever reason.   

 My experience is that life has lots of problem stuff thrown at it, especially depending on where one lives.   Why have a helper who can't, or won't,  help in a situation on earth that will likely have bad moments.    

 

Here's a question:

If the HG doesn't like the appearance of bad or evil, how does he help children who are caught in some hellishly bad homes from no fault of their own?    Maybe that's why he's so wishy washy. He wants to help, he doesn't want to help, he wants to help, he doesn't want to help.... 

 

 Joan.  That was how I was taught too.  The HG can't be in the presence of evil.  That seems impotent for a God don't you think?   What sort of God can't face stuff that regular humans face every day?

 

In practice it doesn't matter if the HG leaves because he is scared, too weak, or because he hates evil so much that he must leave.  In practice the Mormon HG isn't there when you really need him.

 

Other religions have different interpretations of the Holy Ghost.    The Catholic Holy Ghost is not so impotent.  In Catholicism the HG is always there but you can't listen to him when your thoughts are impure.  I think that is part of what they call Catholic guilt.  If you can't hear the Holy Ghost, you are at fault.

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Lloyd Dobler:
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Lloyd,

 

One of my all time favorite OPs.  Read on my phone and couldn't comment at the time but brutha.......you got da team on your back. Glad it was bumped.

 

GL

 

 Holy cow now I am getting misty eyed.

 

I mean don't you just get so pissed sometimes?  God, I mean the years of manipulation and rationalization and guilt at the hands of...............oh yeah, at the hands of a god damn invisible person.  I mean I just can't believe I tried to........tried hard to have a relationship with an invisible person who was supposed to be everywhere all at the same time.

 

the church really uses the holy ghost to control their members behavior.  yet another reason why the church can go screw itself. 

 

many people who posted on this thread are my favorites as well.  one of these days we are all going to have to meet in vegas or something.  I mean, the holy ghost is such a pussy there is no way he would go within a 100 miles of the vegas.  Vegas is like a holy ghost free zone. 

 Hmmm, maybe that's why I left the church only a year after moving from Utah to Vegas, makes perfect sense, lol. 

 
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Well, you guys have gone and done it.  You have offended the Holy Ghost, even the Comforter himself.  There I hope your happy.  This thread is not worthy of his presence.  He, even the Holy Ghost himself, takes great umbrage at the use of the word pussy when describing what a god damn pussy he really is.  

 

 

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Joan:
Lord of Darkness:
Lloyd Dobler:

 

 Ok then.  Let's do our worst to the holy f ing ghost with gender neutral insults..........any suggestions?

 

 

 

The Holy Ghost is a Polack.

 

hey,  1/6  of me  resents  represents that.

 

 The Holy Ghost is an Anti Semite.

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The Holy Ghost is an albino!
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Lloyd Dobler:
The Holy Ghost is an albino!

 

 Now I'm gonna have nightmaress about glowing pink eyes....

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The Holy Ghost listens to Captain and Tennille!
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The Holy Ghost is auditing classes at the University of Phoenix!
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Joan:
Lloyd Dobler:
The Holy Ghost listens to Captain and Tennille!

 

The Holy Ghost goes to Vegas to attend Donny and Marie so no wardrobe malfunctions occur, and to assist them in remembering the lyrics and dance steps (the HG knows their perfectionists), but HE descends down through the vent system so as not to go near the the evil casino lobby. 

 

 this makes perfect sense.  I bet they both pray before they go out on stage and you KNOW they are asking for you know who for a little help out there.

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The Holy Ghost is a constant voyeur....(still small voice into everything.)
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I’ve begun worshiping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It’s there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, a lovely day. There’s no mystery, no one asks for money, I don’t have to dress up, and there’s no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to God are all answered at about the same 50-percent rate.” George Carlin

 
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This post is in the running for a Brodie award in the category of "Best Philosophical/Theological Discussion".  Please go here if you'd like to vote for yourself.
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Letters from a Broad…

 
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Had to bump this.  LD...you are THE SH!T brotha.  EPIC!!!
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coexmo:
Had to bump this.  LD...you are THE SH!T brotha.  EPIC!!!

 

 

We all, is the chit brovahh!

 

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chanson:
This post is in the running for a Brodie award in the category of "Best Philosophical/Theological Discussion".  Please go here if you'd like to vote for yourself.

 

 Evidently, this post won the "best blah blah blah" only proving beyond a shadow of a doubt, with every fiber of being that the Holy Ghost, even he who is without form or shape, even he who is everywhere at the same time......IS A BIG TIME PUSSY!

 

It also must be said that he is a god damn asshole because he is giving different people different answers all the time.  He inspired my stake president when I was a 12 year old to call a bishop who was banging his secretary at the time.  What kind of a jerk would do that?  Only an asshole would inspire calling a pedophile to the primary or an adulterer to be the EQ pres.............oh, and he sure has a hard on for rich dudes because they get all the callings.............. 

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NeverMrs:

 

Thanks for saying it.

 

If  what this loser said is true  , then Heavenly Father is a horrible, hands-off parent, Heavenly Mother is an absentee, passive-aggressive bitch hiding behind the Big Men, Jesus is going to pretend not to know us if we ever reach the pearly gates because we don't have any incontrovertible evidence of his existence (thanks, bro!!), and the Holy Ghost gets to dick us all around at his pleasure. "Oooh, I don't have a body, but I can transport God's sperm!!" (Yeah, that makes sense.)

 

What a horrible family dynamic! 

 

 Gee....This sounds a lot like what Mormonism has turned my family into. Unbelievable!!!  They no longer care about each other.  The Twhu Chch  is ALL that matters.  Anyone talks against it and they throw you under the bus as fast as the Nazis threw anyone under who opposed them.  My TBM family has become brutal beyond an Italian mafia family.  Everyone is disposable.  Since I took the blue pill (it was blue--wasn't it?) I live in the twilight zone.  If this is what God is about--I would sure hate to see hell!  Actually, if this is what God is about--I would take my chances in hell--I will be carrying a sign that says:

 

"Just looking for truth and sanity--A little love would be OK too.  Already been to hell--Spent my life as a Mormon.  Need a break."  

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I laughed out loud and said “Thank you sir. And I hope every time you hear the name of JS you don’t think about him having sex with those girls and the women who were already married because if you’re going to start being honest with yourself then sooner or later you will also realize a real god would never do that, a real prophet would never do that, and it’s all just bull shit.”
Oh mercy, it just felt so damn good to say that.  —BOLD WISH

 
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evilgeniusmom:

Two thoughts on reading the title of the thread and the OP:

 

1. Welcome to the Sons of Perdition! 

 

and:

 

2.  You are what you eat!  (oh, I guess that was me masturbating and not the actual Holy Ghost)   

 

The second line reminds me of something I heard in an Aussie movie "The Wog Boy".  The man character's pick up line was "You are what you eat and I want to be you!"  Sorry but I couldn't resist sharing.

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OMG! Thank you all for bring this post back to the top. I totally needed this. Its better then therapy. Lloyd I wish I would have met you and heard this rant instead of my TBM friend who convinced me of the opposite. I would have been laughing and been ok instead of further allowing myself to be traumatised by all the shit that happened to me due to that pussy and men who he inspired. Funny that the only time he inspired people was when it would lead too hurting me and others, so not only is he a pussy he is also a complete and totally ass-hole who likes kicking puppies and stealing from orphans.
 
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I now pronounce this thread resurrected. Inthenameofcheeseandriceramen
 
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