Well since I last logged in I've come out to my wife and asked to be released from the Bishopric. I'm too tired and just emotionally and spiritually beat to stay up much longer and go into more detail.
I've started talking with and meeting with people I've met on here. It has been a really big help.
I'm just devastated tonight though. I can't get the look of my Bishops face out of my mind. I really hurt him. I've really hurt my wife. I don't like hurting people. If seems my whole Mormon world is colapsing. I'm really depressed. This really hurts.
We're with you buddy. Hopefully after the initial shock and pain subsides this will lead to a better place for you and your wife (where you can share your true, authentic self and feelings with her).
I remember my first days out and in those times struggling to let the others (whom happened to be TBM) around me how much I truly loved them all. I would do things for my family over and over again, still seek out to give to Mormons in ways that simply remarked how much I care. Don't really remember once having a true reaching out from anybody Mormon as a reciprocated action. After years and years of this reliably consistant treatment and finally realizing it was because of many Mormon lies my friends and family LDS members were told. I began to successfully invent ways to creatively fight back against those terrible lies.
Now you know some of the the success and the story of joseph's myth. Thanks for being part of the history that strongly remarks of standing for true integrity. You are greatly appreciated, you are standing for something that is very important. Your life has become more authentic and real, you will not be surprised to find many others around to surround yourself with. Cherish these fleeting and precious times, not everyone would do what you did.
I wasn't married, but I have gone through something similar to this with my parents, bishop and ward members. It will get better. It may be hard to convince yourself of that when you're in the thick of things, but it will.
Remember this: All those times when you called upon the "spirit" and were given strength beyond your own, that strength was your own, and you have the power to unlock it. It's possible that now is one of those times. Just relax and remind yourself that this will pass, and the grass really is greener on the other side. It won't be easy, but it will continuously get less hard, and it'll be worth it.
I wasn't married, but I have gone through something similar to this with my parents, bishop and ward members. It will get better. It may be hard to convince yourself of that when you're in the thick of things, but it will.
Remember this: All those times when you called upon the "spirit" and were given strength beyond your own, that strength was your own, and you have the power to unlock it. It's possible that now is one of those times. Just relax and remind yourself that this will pass, and the grass really is greener on the other side. It won't be easy, but it will continuously get less hard, and it'll be worth it.
Good luck.
I absolutely adore this line.
How come it took me 60+ years to encounter this truth?
Treat this like a grieving process and expect others to be shocked at the news. Give it some time, give yourself time to cry and give them the same space.
You're probably saying, "What have I done?" You opened the door and stepped into the light, and it hit you square in the eyes. Opening that door also let light in for others, but their not ready for it, cause it hurt their eyes too much, they ran for cover.
Be at peace, breath, stand tall, and happiness will soon flood your being.
2. You will be ok. You will get through this. Sooner than you think, you will be extremely happy that you went through this.
3. We are all here for you. Strangers on a message board, but real people out there who care about what you are going through, who have been through it, and can help hold your hand as you go through it.
Leaving the church is analogous in some ways to going through a divorce. You are breaking up with the church. It takes time to recover emotionally, and the process for getting through it is similar. Do you know why it is called a breakup? Because it's broken, that's why. The relationship between you and the church was abusive and hurting you. It's ok for you to break it off.
I love what Pirate Bella said, we are strangers behind avatars but we are real people, who have been right where you are and it does get better with each passing day. I hope your wife will seek to understand and find peace also. Post Mo is a very healing place as you go through the process.
Congratulations! Not a word you would normally associate with the pain and struggle you are going through right now so I'll explain a little. From your past posts you have acknowledged that for a long time you have been living a lie and it has been eating you up inside. This was obviously an untenable situation to you because you have taken an action that will eventually bring you greater peace. So I congratulate you for being true to yourself, for reaching out to those who could help you, for making an incredibly hard decisions and following up with even more difficult actions. There are rocky times ahead but as Pirate Bella said there are so many of us out here to give you a hand when you need it. j
Just reach out. My best to you.
I hope that someday, those people who looked at us with disappointment, will look at us with admiration. We were willing to stick our necks out for what we thought was the ethical thing to do. hang in there. Leaving the church is similar to working through the grieving process after the death of a close friend or family member.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. But as others here have said a bunch of times, this is NOT YOUR FAULT.
You didn't ask for the church to be untrue. You didn't ask for the history to be falsely written. You didn't ask for Joseph Smith to be a con man. You didn't ask for the Book of Mormon to be made up. You didn't ask for Joseph Smith to take a 14 year-old girl and lie about it, along with 30 other women. You didn't ask for Brigham Young to be a lunatic control freak. You didn't ask for the Book of Abraham to be a lie. You didn't ask for the LDS church to cloak its corporate reality. You didn't do any of that. And you surely didn't ask for it all to come crashing down around you.
We are here for you. Many of us have lived the Hell you are living. Speaking only for myself, I can say about two years later life is better than it ever was "in there."
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. But as others here have said a bunch of times, this is NOT YOUR FAULT.
You didn't ask for the church to be untrue. You didn't ask for the history to be falsely written. You didn't ask for Joseph Smith to be a con man. You didn't ask for the Book of Mormon to be made up. You didn't ask for Joseph Smith to take a 14 year-old girl and lie about it, along with 30 other women. You didn't ask for Brigham Young to be a lunatic control freak. You didn't ask for the Book of Abraham to be a lie. You didn't ask for the LDS church to cloak its corporate reality. You didn't do any of that. And you surely didn't ask for it all to come crashing down around you.
We are here for you. Many of us have lived the Hell you are living. Speaking only for myself, I can say about two years later life is better than it ever was "in there."
[] This is so true. Way to sum it all up left4good.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. But as others here have said a bunch of times, this is NOT YOUR FAULT.
You didn't ask for the church to be untrue. You didn't ask for the history to be falsely written. You didn't ask for Joseph Smith to be a con man. You didn't ask for the Book of Mormon to be made up. You didn't ask for Joseph Smith to take a 14 year-old girl and lie about it, along with 30 other women. You didn't ask for Brigham Young to be a lunatic control freak. You didn't ask for the Book of Abraham to be a lie. You didn't ask for the LDS church to cloak its corporate reality. You didn't do any of that. And you surely didn't ask for it all to come crashing down around you.
We are here for you. Many of us have lived the Hell you are living. Speaking only for myself, I can say about two years later life is better than it ever was "in there."
[] This is so true. Way to sum it all up left4good.
I agree. You did not hurt your wife, you did not hurt your bishop. They are hurting too, but it is by no means your fault. You are not responsible for the way people are emotionally tied to your beliefs, and you are not in control of what you believe. They are responsible for how much they are emotionally invested in your beliefs, and they will find a way to get through it, just like you will. You are a rock star, keep on going and you will soon be out of the thick of it.
Well since I last logged in I've come out to my wife and asked to be released from the Bishopric. I'm too tired and just emotionally and spiritually beat to stay up much longer and go into more detail.
I've started talking with and meeting with people I've met on here. It has been a really big help.
I'm just devastated tonight though. I can't get the look of my Bishops face out of my mind. I really hurt him. I've really hurt my wife. I don't like hurting people. If seems my whole Mormon world is colapsing. I'm really depressed. This really hurts.
I just want to say that I'm following this thread and my heart goes out to you. I feel your pain. It's a similar pain I felt many years ago that helped me see the desperate need there was for a community like this. I'm pleased that these wonderful people in this community are truly there and here for you and that the support is helping you.
But others have said but I will say it again. It is not your fault that the emperor has no clothes and you should not beat yourself up for being one of the few who are brave enough to call this out.
Your wife and the Bishop I'm sure will be OK. They're in shock now but this will pass. They will have to put on their big girl / big boy pants and deal with a reality that was going to come to them sooner or later. It's not your job to maintain anyone else's bubble.
You are not alone. Look online and in the news. A lot of people (me too) are going what you are andin the ned we'll all be the better for it.
You were smart enough to jump from the leaky ship into the lifeboat...and make it to shore. The others who are guilting you....have not decided to abandon ship...and probably will go down with it. You care about them...and that hurts.
I wasn't married, but I have gone through something similar to this with my parents, bishop and ward members. It will get better. It may be hard to convince yourself of that when you're in the thick of things, but it will.
Remember this: All those times when you called upon the "spirit" and were given strength beyond your own, that strength was your own, and you have the power to unlock it. It's possible that now is one of those times. Just relax and remind yourself that this will pass, and the grass really is greener on the other side. It won't be easy, but it will continuously get less hard, and it'll be worth it.
Good luck.
I absolutely adore this line.
How come it took me 60+ years to encounter this truth?
Thank you, AngelicFerret.
I love that line too! May I use it in a screenplay I'm writing? It fits perfectly with the underlying subtext.
rain:
I hope that someday, those people who looked at us with disappointment, will look at us with admiration. We were willing to stick our necks out for what we thought was the ethical thing to do. hang in there. Leaving the church is similar to working through the grieving process after the death of a close friend or family member.
Agreed.
Sometimes I feel so guilty for standing up for TRUTH.
The cult of Mormonism has set it up that way... that's why it's a CULT.
Yes, there are beautiful things about the church & beautiful people.
But there is also EVIL. And what makes it even more evil is that people deny it.
Mormonism breeds depression (Utah which is 70-80% Mormon) is #1 for anti-depressant use... and pretty high up for other mental health issues.
Church leaders are murderers by robbing the poor of tithes intended for them (Deut 14:28-29) & almost 1 Billion are starving to death. Of course it's not all of the LDS church's responsibility - but partly it is.
This is very evil.
It is also evil of church leaders to use extortion to get members to pay tithing or else they are considered "unworthy" celestially. BS!
Remember, you are not causing this pain. There would be no pain and no issues if the church did not lie to their members and was what it claimed to be.
There is nothing selfish about what you are doing. You are fighting your way out of a cult that not only owned you but your marriage and your family. The church has set the whole thing up so that pain is precicely happens when you break from the controlling life script......and that is what you are doing, you are breaking from the script.
I don't know what to say about the pain other than I have been there. I broke my moms heart, 3 years later she still cries. I have lost a lot of respect from my dad. It is not good with my sisters and I have lost a few friends. My marriage went through a tough first year after I came out. It is just all so shitty so there really is not silver bullet for you. What can I say other than I am with you. I am glad you are talking offline with people from this board. The people real really are terrific.
Just keep hanging in there. I know it is a cliche but time is going to heal this wound. time is actually one of the key assets you have. You do have leverage points in my opinion, some of these are
time
the truth
the fact that the church really is not fulfilling
the fact that the spirit is not real
your own personal happines (personally you are going to get WAY healthier and imo happier and that is going to show to your wife and kids)
God damn the church dude, it is just tough for tbms to take. for example, today my old bishop is coming out to meet me for lunch. the only thing I can do is be honest and sincere and kind.............but also clear and firm.
one of the many bitter ironies of the church is that the more faithful and sincere you were in your testimony and commitment to the church, the more painful it is to leave.
Such great posts above. I could copy every one of them in agreement. I have thought of you and your comments when you first started here on how self-loathing you felt about living a lie. I was thinking about you last night as I was driving and thinking of how my family wanted my former brother-in-law (who found out it was all a lie) to just sit down and shut up and keep praying for a testimony or pretending. He lived the lie for about 15 years and could take it no more.
When you find out the Church is built on lies and you have unknowingly been teaching your children to call men who are of disgusting moral character--prophets of God and well you know all the rest, you are between a rock and a hard place. There is no perfect answer. You have to decide which you can best live with. One thing I know, you have to respect yourself; if you don't you will lose who you are. I loved the thread I read last night about LLoyd and the analogy of the controlled skid. Lloyd is dealing because he has a plan. He doesn't feel hopeless. From what I have read of what he posts about success in teaching his kids about science and critical thinking, his plan is working but sounds like it is very long term. He has a LOT of patience. I am sure I would just lose it!
Now that your cat is out of the bag, I would put things in their court as much a possible. I would ask DW and bishop and others questions and try to make it about them giving you answers and not about you.
Examples: Proof is in Church records that JS married little girls, years before puberty and even bragged to a friend that one of them brought him more pleasure than any of the other women he had ever had. Helen Mar Kimball is a good example since the Church is bragging about how worthy and sacrificing she was to accept plural marriage. Last I looked it was on wikipedia about how the Kimballs gave their little girl to JS for his plural wife. She was only 14. Go to familyhistory.org and prove the man she married was Joseph Smith. Proof of other men's wives being married by him are there also. There is DNA and lamanites, kinderhook plates, the sickening prejuiduce quotes by Brigham Young and ones about slitting your brother's throat to save him in eternity. There is GBH lying his guts out on u-tube. Maybe if your bishop lets you get some of the quotes in, you can ask him, "How can I keep teaching my children these are men of God?"
I would just ask everyone who brings your leaving up these questions. "I have some issues--perhaps you can help me. (I would pull out my list.) " These issues are not anti-Mormon lies since they come from the Church's own records and literature--so can you tell me why this is OK?"
Then I would start reading quotes by names they recognize and after each one I would ask, "Why is that OK?" Because these things are not OK. What can they say? They will cop out on you long before your list is finished. If they start on you another day, I would bring out the list again. I wouldn't just tell them about these--I would read the quotes word for word. You might start with the one by Joseph Smith about how he had a right to boast and had done things that Jesus never was able to do. You will be educating them as well as getting them off your back. I wish I had handled my family this way. It is my next plan of action.
Most of all, take your power back. The bishop is looking at you this way because he is brainwashed and doesn't know any better. You are the one in the right here. You could tell him, "I love you Bishop and I feel sorry for you because you are being scammed by a lie." That is the truth. You are the lucky one. It doesn't feel like it right now--does it? It will get better. You are the one with courage and who has used your critical thinking skills. You are AWSOME and we are all very proud of you!
If there is someone you trust to receive mail for you, PM me and I will send you a list of quotes by Church leaders that turn my stomach. I don't know how anyone can say they could come from anything but plain evil. I email if we need me to but the list is sort of long and I don't want to cause you more trouble. You can compile your own from exmormon.org, mormonthink, ExMormon Foundation, etc. Maybe we should have a list like that here. Sorry this is long. Be strong and loving but stand your ground. We are here for you!
I wasn't married, but I have gone through something similar to this with my parents, bishop and ward members. It will get better. It may be hard to convince yourself of that when you're in the thick of things, but it will.
Remember this: All those times when you called upon the "spirit" and were given strength beyond your own, that strength was your own, and you have the power to unlock it. It's possible that now is one of those times. Just relax and remind yourself that this will pass, and the grass really is greener on the other side. It won't be easy, but it will continuously get less hard, and it'll be worth it.
Good luck.
I absolutely adore this line.
How come it took me 60+ years to encounter this truth?
Thank you, AngelicFerret.
I love that line too! May I use it in a screenplay I'm writing? It fits perfectly with the underlying subtext.
Love this line also--beautiful truth! Can't wait to read or see your screenplay Jeff! Bet it will make lots of money and you can buy something cool with it--like maybe your own billboard company? Have been doing taxes and misplaced your holiday card amongst papers. Found it! Sending it today with a check for "billboards" or maybe printer ink for that screenplay! Jeff Ricks--saving the world--one mind at a time!
Everyone has already given good advice. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. You can get through this! You've already done probably the hardest part. Life gets better. Pain lessens and life goes on. Pat yourself on the back for doing the hard, but right thing. That's courage. Far more so than fictional Nephi's courage of killing a defenceless man and stealing his imaginary scriptures.
You are having to deal with real life pain and relationships that are important to you.
Part of the pain we feel is fear of what the repercussions could be (IMO). We fear others will love us less, respect us less, shun us. And some or all of those things may happen. Or they may not. It's the unknown that scares us. All we can do is move forward and see what will happen while continuing to be the best we can and live life with integrity.
I don't know if someone has already pointed this out, because I don't have time to make it through all the good advice here. But I want to add that if you really love your wife, and you're really happy with your marriage, make sure you repeatedly let her know that.
She will believe that you are rejecting her, because the church breeds that thinking. You are "rejecting" your eternal marriage. If your marriage is strong apart from the church issue, tell her as often as possible that you love her and that you still want to be with her.
Stress to her that you love her so much that you can no longer bear to be dishonest. You want her to love you, not who you're pretending to be.
Thanks for the kinds words and support everyone. One nice thing about coming out is that I'm not so scared to get caught on here and I can post in the day. I've always posted late at night in the past.
I don't know if someone has already pointed this out, because I don't have time to make it through all the good advice here. But I want to add that if you really love your wife, and you're really happy with your marriage, make sure you repeatedly let her know that.
She will believe that you are rejecting her, because the church breeds that thinking. You are "rejecting" your eternal marriage. If your marriage is strong apart from the church issue, tell her as often as possible that you love her and that you still want to be with her.
Stress to her that you love her so much that you can no longer bear to be dishonest. You want her to love you, not who you're pretending to be.
LosingMyReligion:
Thanks for the kinds words and support everyone. One nice thing about coming out is that I'm not so scared to get caught on here and I can post in the day. I've always posted late at night in the past.
This made me laugh out loud. I saw the GAs suddenly realizing that late night porn surfing is not the real problem... Late night post-mo, however...
Well since I last logged in I've come out to my wife and asked to be released from the Bishopric. I'm too tired and just emotionally and spiritually beat to stay up much longer and go into more detail.
I've started talking with and meeting with people I've met on here. It has been a really big help.
I'm just devastated tonight though. I can't get the look of my Bishops face out of my mind. I really hurt him. I've really hurt my wife. I don't like hurting people. If seems my whole Mormon world is colapsing. I'm really depressed. This really hurts.
LMR,
I really empathesise with the pain you are going through. Try imagining breathing right into the seat of where you feel that pain in your body; in through your nose and out through your mouth. Please excuse the abbreviation of your username, the reason for which will be apparent later on.
AND, if I can, I'd like to hold up a mirror and reflect back to you some of your language, which may not be helping in lowering your pain levels.
With respect to your Bishop's response (or more accurately reaction) to your decision, I'd argue there is some value in deconstructing what exactly is happening in the transaction with your Bishop.
Let me illustrate by asking you to imagine your Bishop is a Buddhist. If you told him you had decided to leave Mormonism, would he be distressed?
Clearly not, or only to the extent he empathesised as a compassionate human being with your elevated discomfort/distress.
The point I make is that your Bishop's distress is actually HIS; it is created by his belief in and attachment to Mormonism. So an alternate way to frame up what happened, which takes the monkey off your back and places it back upon the Bishop's might be 'The Bishop was distressed when I announced my decision'. That potentially lifts a huge burden off your back. It stops you being the CAUSE of his pain; responsible for it.
Now you can still empathesise with the Bishop, but you have unhooked yourself from the very weighty and even dangerous idea that you are responsible for his pain, or that it is your job to make and keep him happy. To accept that concept leads logically to the notion that you should sell your life and integrity down the gurgler.
Similarly with your wife, acknowledging that untangling expectations in an intimate relationship is more challenging, the core concepts remain consistent.
Be aware that Mormonism sets out to create muddled thinking about these issues. That is what makes it so much harder for people to wrench themselves free.
I'll say here again, as I've said many times before on PostMo, don't underestimate the extent of the psychological challenge of breaking free of Mormonism. The decision is about much more that just some theological and historical issues. Mormonism tries to insert itself into the very fibre of who you see yourself as, so undoing that is no mean feat.
Consider getting some short term psychological support is necessary, as it can greatly speed up your healthy transition.
Daryl
PS: Even consider changing your name here on PostMo. A name like LosingMyReligion defines you as stuck in a painful, liminal space, which won't help your cause.
To help illustrate what I'm on about, an alternative might be, FindingMyAuthenticity, or something that embodies something past the loss and confusion stage. This embodies the concept that has proven valuable in quiting smoking of replacing 'I'm a non-smoker' with 'I'm a fresh air breather'.
PS: Even consider changing your name here on PostMo. A name like LosingMyReligion defines you as stuck in a painful, liminal space, which won't help your cause.
To help illustrate what I'm on about, an alternative might be, FindingMyAuthenticity, or something that embodies something past the loss and confusion stage. This embodies the concept that has proven valuable in quiting smoking of replacing 'I'm a non-smoker' with 'I'm a fresh air breather'.
Or maybe a name like Happy Guy. Oh wait, that one's taken.
LMR, hang in there. You are not alone, you have the strength within you to make it though, and you have the truth on your side. It hurts when we feel like our actions are hurting others, but remember also that you are doing the honorable and right thing by being honest. As much as my wife and parents are still devastated with my disaffection, they all admit that they would rather it be out in the open than to have me keep it secret from them. For both of us, I hope that time heals the wounds of our devastated family and friends. If your experience is like mine, you will find peace before they do, which is ironic considering they have the spirit and are living righteously.
I'm not sure how much I can really add to this thread but I promise you one day you'll look back at all this and feel AMAZING. You've taken the first step at reclaiming your mind and have given yourself permission to live with integrity. Humans are amazing creatures and we can survive anything as long as we maintain faith in ourselves. Good luck and remember that we're cheering you on!
I know it probably feels like the last thing you want to do right now, but I think you should celebrate the INCREDIBLY hard and brave thing you've done.
There are brilliant people on here who have said it all already. Just know that you aren't alone, that you are doing the 100% right thing, and that they have no power over you unless you give it to them.
Congratulations on your new life!!
I definitely know how you feel. Undoubtedly some of the darkest, most alone feelings you've probably ever experienced. But then, just knowing that others have felt that way too helps. And also knowing that so many people who have also felt this way have made it through to a peaceful, kinder existence on the other side of Mormonism.
Hang in there. I think we all ache for you. I'm so sorry you have to feel this way.
Wanted to bump this thread before it fell off the roster, it's a really good one.
LMR, I hope you are feeling better today. You lanced that boil--agony!--but now it can drain and heal. I'm wishing you all the courage and resilience you'll need to get through any tough times to come.
AngelicFerret's statement really resonates with me 'cuz that was one of the best darned discoveries I made while pulling away from the church. It was a turning point for me to realize that the source of happiness, comfort, and inspiration was within me, and I was truly at the helm of my own ship.
(As an aside, Lloyd Dobler: I really enjoyed reading your cathartic rants about the blankity-blank Holy Ghost some time ago. A hearty "AMEN" to that. )
Also, it was nice to be reminded on this thread that we are not responsible for others' feelings. Even though I am thoroughly "out of the church" intellectually, I still suffer (needlessly) from occasional guilt over my parents' reaction to losing the religion I inherited from them.
LMR, I admire you! All the other posters have given you such great advice. That's why I love this site so much. It brings tears to my eyes sometimes reading the heartfelt posts of people I do not know but feel a kinship with.
Anyway...your wife....I was that wife once. I was really really hurt when my husband left. My heart was heavy...yada yada. But, I was so ignorant when it came to true church doctrine back then. I loved the warm fuzzy feelings I used to get being a part of someting I really believed was true. When my DH left, he was very honest about his feelings etc, but the same day he told me he was leaving he also went to Target bought new undies and put his garments away. I remember standing there in shock. He drank an iced tea sometime later at a restaurant and I almost had a flippin' anxiety attack! I was TBM alllllll the way! I thought I was.....but I was not...because I really was a naieve social mormon believing all the mumbo jumbo that I was reading and listening to.
My point is......I love my husband more today than I did back then. Believe me, we have had our clashes, but in the end I love him with all I have. It took me a while to come to that point because I was so engrossed in the church. But I chose him because no church is worth losing the man I love. I am confident that your wife will love you through this.......be patient.......You have great honor being so honest. I do not think I would have ever had the guts to do what you did. If my DH had not left, I would probably be uber active right now( not a good thought lol). My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Everyone has given such great advice. I hope it helps somewhat to know tha tyou have an online community of friends that have felt these similar feelings.
I just listened to an excellent podcast on Mormon Stories (brace yourself, it's 5 hours long). I put it on my iPhone and listened while working out, doing some photo editing for work, etc., and I'm just about done. It's podcast 313-316 I believe. It's a once seminary/CES instructor in Colorado who left the church just this last year. I just listen to it and it helps me feel so normal and reminds me that life truly is good... so much better outside the church. Good luck.
I wasn't married, but I have gone through something similar to this with my parents, bishop and ward members. It will get better. It may be hard to convince yourself of that when you're in the thick of things, but it will.
Remember this: All those times when you called upon the "spirit" and were given strength beyond your own, that strength was your own, and you have the power to unlock it. It's possible that now is one of those times. Just relax and remind yourself that this will pass, and the grass really is greener on the other side. It won't be easy, but it will continuously get less hard, and it'll be worth it.
Good luck.
I absolutely adore this line.
How come it took me 60+ years to encounter this truth?
Thank you, AngelicFerret.
I love that line too! May I use it in a screenplay I'm writing? It fits perfectly with the underlying subtext.
Yes, you have my permission to use that. I first came up with that line to try and bring comfort to Boisean about a year ago. I'm planning on using it in a youtube video later this year as well. Can I ask what the screenplay is about?
The church has an amazing ability to make you feel dependent on it, and empty without it. It's sick, and it is intentional.
Well since I last logged in I've come out to my wife and asked to be released from the Bishopric. I'm too tired and just emotionally and spiritually beat to stay up much longer and go into more detail.
I've started talking with and meeting with people I've met on here. It has been a really big help.
I'm just devastated tonight though. I can't get the look of my Bishops face out of my mind. I really hurt him. I've really hurt my wife. I don't like hurting people. If seems my whole Mormon world is colapsing. I'm really depressed. This really hurts.
I for one am very proud of you for being so courageous.
Been thinking about you a lot and discussing it with my wife. We went through this about 10 years ago. You'll get through this with a little help from your friends. My offer is still open. You have my number. Call me anytime.
Congratulations for having the courage...I was so afraid to break the news for so long that I really screwed up my marriage when it all came out. +1 to everything people have said here. It is a terrifying rite of passage on your journey into an authentic new life. Make sure to breathe and know it will pass.
I wasn't married, but I have gone through something similar to this with my parents, bishop and ward members. It will get better. It may be hard to convince yourself of that when you're in the thick of things, but it will.
Remember this: All those times when you called upon the "spirit" and were given strength beyond your own, that strength was your own, and you have the power to unlock it. It's possible that now is one of those times. Just relax and remind yourself that this will pass, and the grass really is greener on the other side. It won't be easy, but it will continuously get less hard, and it'll be worth it.
Good luck.
I absolutely adore this line.
How come it took me 60+ years to encounter this truth?
Thank you, AngelicFerret.
I love that line too! May I use it in a screenplay I'm writing? It fits perfectly with the underlying subtext.
Love this line also--beautiful truth! Can't wait to read or see your screenplay Jeff! Bet it will make lots of money and you can buy something cool with it--like maybe your own billboard company? Have been doing taxes and misplaced your holiday card amongst papers. Found it! Sending it today with a check for "billboards" or maybe printer ink for that screenplay! Jeff Ricks--saving the world--one mind at a time!
Have been doing taxes and misplaced your holiday card amongst papers. Found it! Sending it today with a check for "billboards" or maybe printer ink for that screenplay! Jeff Ricks--saving the world--one mind at a time!
