Long time no see PostMormon! :) I hope that everyone has been doing well! I had a funny conversation with a schoolmate last night that I thought I'd share here. I've only known her for a few weeks, but she was asking about things last night. I told her my husband and I eloped. I was talking to her about how originally I had planned to marry him in the temple and that we had spent over a year getting him into the church; only to later decide that it wasn't what we wanted. Immediatly after I told her that she said, "well maybe once you have kids you'll want to go back?"  I laughed; I couldn't help it! I have talked to her about being a Buddhist and I would think that my tea drinking would give away the fact that I don't want to be a member anymore. This morning I was talking to my husband and realized something. I think that to this person, who I'm starting to think is a Jack-mo, my change of heart seems to be simple rebellion. Someday I'll return to the flock and have children. I haven't even wanted children! It was a very strange conversation and wins my vote for "strangest LDS comment of the year." 

Ya, I had a friend ask if I'd ever been inactive before, and when I said no, she was like, "Oh...", as though that explained it; I'd never had my turn at inactivity so I was just doing it now.

 

NOPE!

 

I was a hardcore TBM who never went inactive because I was SO GOOD at believing. This isn't a phase because I'd rather slack off, and I'm NEVER EVER EVER EVER coming back. Ever. LOL 

lolol I should have said that my ex-mo-ness wasn't rumspringa! I'm starting to wonder how common it is for people to return after having their time being wild children.

Some people need to think that you'll come back as a mechanism for dealing with their own congnitive dissonance. "How can you leave when it is true?" "How can you leave when you are giving up so many blessings?" 

 

Interestingly, this is one of the things my wife has the most trouble with. (I haven't believed for years, quit attending last summer, wife still believes and still attends, holds callings, etc.)

 

Someone approached her at church oen day and said, "Don't worry, mcarp will come back." She started crying and couldn't control it, so she came home. When I asked what was wrong she relayed the converstation. In trying to find out why that bothered her so much she said, "Because I don't think you'll ever come back."

 

Of course, with a spouse there is the whole "we won't be a family forever" issue, so it is magnified and it is still really raw for my wife.

 

My come back for those who ask me if I am mormon or inactive or whatever is:

 

"I have unplugged from the matrix.  I cannot unlearn what I now know.  I am on a different path but I wish you bright blessings and joy on your journey in this life and the lives to come. " 

 

 

If they push it and/or they act like an a$$   I say that I would have to get a frontal lobotomy in order to be able to go back to the LDS church.................

 

Ya know, I've had bouts of being "inactive", especially when I had a slew of children, my husband worked nights, and I couldn't get help with a bunch of younguns.

But, when I left this time, it was a CONSCIENCE choice. I was NOT making it because I was offended (though I was at first), I was NOT making it because I wanted to sin for a while. I was not making the choice because I didn't feel supported (though that was always an issue for me). No, I left because the whole thing was a LIE. A GIANT LIE. The problem is, the believers just cannot comprehend that. 

So, this time, my inactivity isn't because of an offense and I still believe, it's because I NO LONGER believe. This time my inactivity is me LEAVING FOR GOOD.

Many of my friends from the ward where I live think that I left due to a conflict with the bishop/wanting to "go off the grid"/taking a break from all the busy work.  It doesn't matter when I say things like "I think Joseph Smith was a con man."  "The book of mormon is a work of fiction." etc.  I think it's hard for them to imagine that I have problems with the doctrine of the church because then they would have to think about the doctrine of the church.

I've known people to become inactive for a while, while they were young and "rebellious" to come back after they got married and had kids (my ex-MIL did that). And my DF left after joining the Marine Corps, and tried to go back to it, but couldn't handle it due to the truth that he knew about TSCC.. but he tried to pretend to believe for the sake of his TBM family and his TBM ex-girlfriend. I like the Matrix analogy.

I resigned. Took a lot of weight off my shoulders.

 

Even the idea of going back makes me nauseous.

 

 

My TBM DW is always wanting things to be 'the way they were' when I was TBM, too. 

She misses the scripture study, daily prayers and communications about the church. 

Thing is.... that didn't happen like she thinks. I've always had a problem with daily scripture study (especially the BoM once I started thinking about what I was reading), my prayers always hit the ceiling and bounced back. I guess we talked about church things because we didn't have anything else to talk about .

(unless it was one of the 23 MLM's we joined, that all failed.)