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Continuing Revelation - alive and well
 
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The thread on women praying in General Conference got me thinking.  Mormons really will latch onto anything and everything that can be interpreted as revelation, though these "revelations" may have been was induced by social/political/financial pressures or some other reason. The members are far more interested in building up the support buttresses under their shelf, than thinking critically about where these changes come from. So simple policy changes suddenly become the Word of the Lord, despite the lack of "Thus saith the Lord."

 

Examples:

 

The 1978 policy change allowing women to pray in Sacrament Meeting (God loves women!)

 

The switch to a 3-hour block meeting schedule (God is a genius!)

 

The counsel to wear only one earring (God thinks modest is hottest!)

 

The semiannual announcement of new temples (Now the temple that we'll rarely attend is even closer! God has heard our prayers! - Seriously, listen to the announcement next conference and listen for the audible gasps from the congregation. You can actually hear the testimonies growing.)

 

Lowering the missionary age to 18 (God knew I couldn't last until 19!)

 

Building a conference center (Now more people can hear God's word in person as opposed to on TV like everyone else!)

 

Building a shopping mall (God's showing the world how well the church is doing! If we can build a mall, imagine what good we're doing with the rest of our money!)

 

The subtle changes to the scriptures (God finally clarified that JS wasn't REALLY translating the papyri!)

 

To what other mighty revelation have you been witness as a member of the church?

 

 

 

 

 

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“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.” ~Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

 
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so funny.  yeah, how is it that EVRYTHING the brethren do, EVERYTHING is incredible.  the brethren have so totally lowered the bar for their job that after every conference I hear, "oh, did you hear Elder so and so, his talk was amazing!"

 

Remember Hollands meltdown when he was saying that we would have to crawl over and under the book of mormon as we left the church.  I mean he was illogical, angry, desperate.......basically bat shit crazy and tbms were acting like he just called down the F ing thunder!  One guy told me that the talk will stand as a testament against apostates until the second coming. 

 

Or take any time the brethren talk about preparedness or food storage and the members actually read in the rest of the revelation......as in, "Did you catch Elder so and so talking about how we need to have a years supply.......some bad things are one the horizon!"  The brethren don't even have to actually say anything half the time because the tbms will actually do the rest of their job for them.

 

Remember when monson like copy/pasted a message from the first presidency from like 10 years before or something?  Even when I pointed this out to tbms, they would be like, "well, god does not change and obviously thought that we needed to hear this important message again"

 

I actually wonder if their is a limit to how little effort the brethren can put into their jobs.

 

Of course, tbms don't ever think about all of the revelations the brethren are not making.  I mean think of the things they could have said over the past 25 years and didn't.

 

Monson could get up in conference and talk about how his aunt used to make gooseberry pie and how great it would smell as it cooled on the window ledge while he mowed widow johnsons lawn.  Then he could give the recipe to gooseberry pie and then close.

 

members would be stunned at the allegory of the gooseberry pie.  They would go on and on about how amazing the talk was and how much........

 

so dumb. 

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Well I wonder
Do you hear me when you sleep?
I hoarsely cry
Well I wonder
Do you see me when we pass?
I half die
Please keep me in mind
Please keep me in mind
Gasping - but somehow still alive
This is the fierce last stand of all I am
Gasping - dying - but somehow still alive
This is the final stand of all I am
Please keep me in mind
Well I wonder
Well I wonder
Please keep me in mind
Oh, keep me in mind
Keep me in mind


Well I Wonder
The Smiths
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UG1jpD6t088

 
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Lloyd Dobler:

so funny. ...

 

Monson could get up in conference and talk about how his aunt used to make gooseberry pie and how great it would smell as it cooled on the window ledge while he mowed widow johnsons lawn.  Then he could give the recipe to gooseberry pie and then close.

 

members would be stunned at the allegory of the gooseberry pie.  They would go on and on about how amazing the talk was and how much........

 

so dumb. 

 

Serious man...  Or how about some ridiculous story about him being a young boy and having a $5 bill survive the laundry as a sign on gods love for him. 

 

Oh, wait.... 

 
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Let us not forget the miracle of the conference center pulpit being made out of President Hinckley's personal tree. When our family visited the conference center, this story was the centerpiece of the tour. 

 

Such a powerful witness! 

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“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.” ~Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

 
Long Timer
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Joined  2011-01-21

Lloyd Dobler:

so funny.  yeah, how is it that EVRYTHING the brethren do, EVERYTHING is incredible.  the brethren have so totally lowered the bar for their job that after every conference I hear, "oh, did you hear Elder so and so, his talk was amazing!"

 

Remember Hollands meltdown when he was saying that we would have to crawl over and under the book of mormon as we left the church.  I mean he was illogical, angry, desperate.......basically bat shit crazy and tbms were acting like he just called down the F ing thunder!  One guy told me that the talk will stand as a testament against apostates until the second coming. 

 

*Snipped for space*

 

Well, I don't know about that, but I do remember stomping on it and using it as firewood.  Does that count? 

 
       
 


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