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The Church holds back younger members.
 
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I meant to take care of some things for classes, but then I started thinking about my friend who's on a mission. That's when I started thinking about just how much the church holds back someone my age, especially when a mission is involved. Take this comparison between the two of us as an example:

 

After Graduating High School

him: worked for a year to prepare for his mission; undecided future plans outside of a mission; life divided between work and church

me: joined TSCC right before going to college with a decided major; life split among school, university work-study job (where my boss is a member), YSA, FHE, and various other church obligation; general sense of future plans after college; nothing accomplished for my career choice

 

1 Year Later

him: about 7 months into the mission; possibly too preoccupied with mission work to think about future plans, or even life outside of the mission for that matter; life devoted to mission

me: better part-time job (no ties to the church) that is related to my major; haven't been to church for about 7 months (except one bible study); almost done with second year of college; further molded distant future plans; making near future plans that involve career experience; able to help family and friends every now and then because of time to work a better job

 

TSCC wants all of your time devoted to them, but that makes life pointless even by their standards. What's the point of a life here if we devote all of our time doing what we were supposedly doing before the "great plan of salvation"? As much as it would hurt a TBM's ears to hear, I've had a better life outside of a mission AND outside of church because I haven't been held back by either.

 

This isn't anything posted in an attempt to shoot down the church, but simply my opinion based on experience.

 
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KJack:

I meant to take care of some things for classes, but then I started thinking about my friend who's on a mission. That's when I started thinking about just how much the church holds back someone my age, especially when a mission is involved. Take this comparison between the two of us as an example:

 

After Graduating High School

him: worked for a year to prepare for his mission; undecided future plans outside of a mission; life divided between work and church

me: joined TSCC right before going to college with a decided major; life split among school, university work-study job (where my boss is a member), YSA, FHE, and various other church obligation; general sense of future plans after college; nothing accomplished for my career choice

 

1 Year Later

him: about 7 months into the mission; possibly too preoccupied with mission work to think about future plans, or even life outside of the mission for that matter; life devoted to mission

me: better part-time job (no ties to the church) that is related to my major; haven't been to church for about 7 months (except one bible study); almost done with second year of college; further molded distant future plans; making near future plans that involve career experience; able to help family and friends every now and then because of time to work a better job

 

TSCC wants all of your time devoted to them, but that makes life pointless even by their standards. What's the point of a life here if we devote all of our time doing what we were supposedly doing before the "great plan of salvation"? As much as it would hurt a TBM's ears to hear, I've had a better life outside of a mission AND outside of church because I haven't been held back by either.

 

This isn't anything posted in an attempt to shoot down the church, but simply my opinion based on experience.

 

 

Please don't take this the wrong way because I wouldn't have gone had I known what I know now. However I can honestly say my cooking skills, cleaning skills, people skills, Japanese language and culture skills, speaking skills etc. all improved greatly while on the mission. I wish I could get all the religious wasted time back but it wasn't all a waste.
 
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While fornevermo has found some good from his mission, I can honestly say that my father was quite bitter that he had wasted his almost 3 years on his mission. He believed it cost him several promotions at two different places of employment, and he was pretty sure it caused a problem with some of the political figures he had in his life.


But, when I first read this OP, I thought of how it ruins many TBM girls lives!

Mine for example:


Stay morally clean (don't experiment so you know what you really want in the sex department). 

Never say "NO" to your leaders - and all men have more authority than you do....

Sure, you can go to college... as long as you take courses in Homemaking, Hospitality, Nursing, Teaching, Beauty School...  AND you catch a good RM while you are at school... that's priority #1, and after you catch that MRS. degree, you have to quit school and start popping and raising those spirits that are waiting.............


Then, try to get a real job when your husband looses his, or you get divorced, or your husband is doing his absolute best, but his income just isn't cutting it.  And when you do land a real job... you get laughed at (until they realize just how many of those waiting spirits you mortalized) for being "lazy" and not having any real experience.  


Yeah, but, if I hadn't been a YW in the church, I might not have learned how to crochet a useless hotpad, make a Barbie patio table out of a strawberry basket, and a chair out of a thread spool, or how to make a christmas ornament out of the cinnamon and apple sauce in my food storage (makes fun buttons too!). 
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You were not born with an expiration date stamped anywhere. Live life. Enjoy it. Don’t believe a doctor who tells you that you’ve only got a limited amount of time to live.

 
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Fornevermo:
Please don't take this the wrong way because I wouldn't have gone had I known what I know now. However I can honestly say my cooking skills, cleaning skills, people skills, Japanese language and culture skills, speaking skills etc. all improved greatly while on the mission. I wish I could get all the religious wasted time back but it wasn't all a waste.

 

 I believe the cooking, cleaning, and people skills can be built by just growing up and moving out, I feel. I definitely know being an adult and having to take care of things myself has helped in these areas. Then again, I can also go on about how going on a mission messed up a lot of my future, so perhaps I am biased.

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“Superman is cooler than God”-Bryan Hitch

 
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KJack:

I meant to take care of some things for classes, but then I started thinking about my friend who's on a mission. That's when I started thinking about just how much the church holds back someone my age, especially when a mission is involved. Take this comparison between the two of us as an example:

  

 

 I remember my priests quorum advisor going off one sunday about "when you get home from your mission you will realize how much further ahead you are in life than your friends that didn't go. Since the Lord will bless you for your sacrifice blah blah..."

 

I saw the complete opposite fulfilled(I had couple of friends that were lazy bums and didn't do much of anything for those two years, then again they still haven't done much of anything to this day). My friends that didn't go on a mission were two years ahead in college, had better jobs since they had two years extra of work experience. It has taken me 6 years to finally catch up to some of them.

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George Taylor: The way you humiliated me? All of you? YOU led me around on a LEASH!
Cornelius: That was different. We thought you were inferior.
George Taylor: Now you know better.

 
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What's more important, the journey or the destination?

 

I didn't know it until becoming a member here, but some people had terrible missions. I'd just figured that people did their missions and then other stuff followed and then you got old and died.

 

Unless a person dies on his/her mission, that person comes home and lives out what's left of his/her life.  Making comparisons regarding other people's lives, or creating scenarios about 'what might have been', might be fun, in a revengeful sort of way, but it's pretty much fruitless.  

 

Using your experiences to predict what others will go through facing the same general event can be accurate at times, but I don't think the missionary experience is one of those experiences.  It's a given that a mission removes two+ years from Regular Life.  What isn't a certainty is that doing so makes your life worse (the general PostMo view) or better (the general TBM view).  Each participant is unique and you can't argue with him/her that his/her view is flawed, whatever that view is.  It's like saying that marriage is bad for you, or working in a huge bureacracy is bad, or that you can play too much golf...  There are defensible positions on both sides of these issues!

 

I had a perfectly lovely mission and when I dream about being back in the field, which isn't often, I'm simply perplexed that they've allow me back as an atheist.

 
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I also look at my mission as a net gain. I learned French, which is a useful language to know in Canada. That alone has opened up some good opportunities for me. I made good friends, many of whom I'm still in contact with.

 

That said, the whole mormon mindset was a detriment. My parents unwittingly pressured me into marrying early and it was a disaster, ending in divorce after 8 years (although I got a great postmo son from that marriage!)

 

Because of the mission and two years lost of my life, I decided to skip college and got an adequate job. After 10 years I realized it was a dead end job and I really started to regret my decision not to pursue further education. I can't pin that on my mission, but I do pin it on the whole get married and have children mindset. I couldn't see how I could go to college and support a family at the same time.

 

By the time I realized what I had done with my life, I was stuck with a mortgage, child support payments, and no real job skills. I sold the house, re-married, quit my job, went to school and got a job.

 

I don't think NOT going on a mission would have changed any of this, except the college part, but I know I could have gone to college anyway after my mission. I wish I had.

 

Instead, it was the whole upbringing that led me to get on the mormon life path/treadmill and be a sheeple. 

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We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato
You’re like the Gandhi of postmo. - Lloyd Dobler

 
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Please don't take this the wrong way because I wouldn't have gone had I known what I know now. However I can honestly say my cooking skills, cleaning skills, people skills, Japanese language and culture skills, speaking skills etc. all improved greatly while on the mission. I wish I could get all the religious wasted time back but it wasn't all a waste.

 

I think being a missionary makes or breaks you - much like the military. For some people being in the military - with the structure and order is the best thing that ever happened to them (I have a close friend who is a career airman - he loves every minute of it and he's done it for 15 years now), for others - they took an honorable discharge the first chance they got.

 

For me - I went to an English speaking mission. My English didn't improve - since it was in New England I learned how to speak with a New York accent. Its funny, but not at all useful.

 

Every. Single. Part. Of my mission was a complete and total waste of time. I knew how to cook already (4h champion :)), my people skills were horrible there too (probably because I hated being on my mission).

 

I was like Corporal Klinger on the TV Show mash. In my MP/ZL/DL interviews I constantly told them all the horrible things I felt, and that if they didn't do something I'd pack my bags and leave. They never took me seriously.

 

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Moderate believers betray reason and faith equally.

 
       
 


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