AMERICAN FORK, UT—A last minute intervention on the part of local Stake President Mark G. Brown saved Jesus Christ the embarrassment of not being allowed into the Timpanogos Temple.  According to Brown, the Savior of the World was just about ready to overturn the reception desk in a fit of righteous indignation when Brown intervened.

“The good brother working the desk that day felt that besides not having a recommend, the Savior’s hair and beard alone were enough to bar him from the House of the Lord,” said Brown.  “And you have to admit, we’re not accustomed to people wearing their robes TO the temple.  It was an easy mistake to make.” 

Sister Lavina Brown was the one who actually identified the stranger with the pale, white skin as the Lord Jesus.  “I just happened to be standing so that I could see the temple’s portrait of the Savior right behind, well, right behind the Savior Himself, and it suddenly occurred to me that it was the same man.  I nearly passed out,” she admits.  After gathering her wits, she alerted her husband, who took swift action.

“I just walked up to Jesus and touched him on the robe, at which time the swelling in my goiter was immediately relieved,” he recalled.  “When he turned and said, ‘Who touched me?  I felt virtue leave my body,’ then I knew what had to be done.”

A quick phone call brought Temple President Orson M. Curin scurrying out from his office, and together he and President Brown conducted the requisite interviews, allowing the Savior to at last enter the Temple.  “I even offered Him my razor,” said Brown, “but He lovingly reminded me that His beard was pure white and was not in any way offensive to Him in His own sight.”

“It was neatly trimmed, and frankly, it looked surprisingly nice on him,” noted Sister Brown.  “He’s rather an attractive personage.”  She confessed that she regretted having left her Book of Mormon in the car, as she would have liked to have Him sign it.

To avoid similar situations in the future, President Curin issued the Savior’s new temple recommend without an expiration date, and sent a fax to all temples to remind them that Jesus has an eternal exemption to the normal protocols.  “It is, after all, His house,” said Curin.

“Damn straight it is,” muttered the frustrated Christ as he slipped off to the Holy of Holies without removing his sandals.