PRESTON, IDAHO—Thora Swenson Overson of the Franklin, Idaho 82nd Ward, suffered a massive stroke yesterday during a family gathering upon news that her Grandson, John Brigham Overson and his wife of four years, have decided to finish college at Utah State before having children.  Franklin County Paramedics were dispatched to the Overson home, transporting Thora to the Franklin County Medical Center in Preston where she remains in stable condition.

“It was such a shock to the entire family,” explains Carolyn, one of Bob and Thora’s twelve children.  “I mean, he was a returned missionary and everything.  None of us saw it coming.  I tried explaining that the church welfare system was created for a reason and that living in poverty has been a blessing for all of us, but they were too prideful to listen.”

Bishop Ronald Burlap of the Franklin 82nd Ward was in disbelief.  “Thora has been a stalwart member of our ward for over 52 years,” relates Burlap.  “She has been President of everything, a Visiting Teaching Coordinator, and recently Bob and Thora were called on a special Stake mission to deal with the immoral practice of pornography.  With twelve children, sixty-four grandchildren, and twenty-two grandchildren, it is hard to understand why John would not want to follow in his grandparent’s footsteps.”

The family has contacted the Utah State University 554th Ward to alert them of the situation, and Bishop Henderson called an impromptu welfare meeting to discuss John and Melissa’s perilous decision.  “The Overson’s have strayed, but I believe we can bring them back to the fold,” Henderson explained in an interview.  “It is important that John and Melissa understand God’s call to multiply and replenish the earth so a mighty army can raise up and crush Satan’s earthly minions or possibly the Chinese.” 

Local seminary teacher, Brother Alma Johnson explains that waiting to have children is becoming more common among younger LDS couples.  “I don’t think that today’s young people realize the importance of popping out a baker’s dozen before they turn thirty,” Johnson admits.  “Recent BYU studies show that couples who wait are more prone to acquire wealth which ultimately leads to sin.”

Bob Overson says his wife is feeling fine and despite John’s decision, Thora was “thrilled” that nine pregnancies, two mission calls, three engagements, and six baptisms were all announced at the family gathering.  Sister Overson’s doctor expects her to make a full recovery.