We’ve been accumulating mail here at the Peep Stone at a pace that is unbelievable.  Tons of it.  Truck loads.  Most of it happens to be Holiday catalogues and credit card offers, but buried in all that mail is the occassional plea for help from good folks who seem to have lost, or found, something of value.  And naturally they turn to us (who wouldn’t).  Check out the handful here and if you find anything you’re missing, send us a note…we’ll hook you up.

Found

Dear Peep Stone:  I seem to have found $4,759. 89 in my checking account, and I can’t account for where it would have come from.  I am a sales account manager for a company here in Orem, and I earn $47, 598.90 per year, and typically after taxes and tith…oh, wait.  I think I figured it out.  Never mind.

Peepers:  I was flipping through my Franklin-Covey Day Planner the other day (I have the one with the Dilbert pages—they are TOO cute!) when I happened to notice that since I quit going to church, my Sundays are totally free!  I’ve found all this extra time that I didn’t even know existed!  What do I DO with it?

Dear Editor:  This is so weird.  I haven’t given the church a second thought for seven years.  But the other day I was rummaging around through my medicine chest, and I found this giant bottle of Prozac.  It sure brought back memories.  Apparently I don’t seem to need it anymore.  Do any of your readers want it?  It’s the Mo-Pack 3000, enough for a two-year supply.

Lost

Mr. Editor:  This is kind of embarrassing, but what the heck.  Last summer, while at a family reunion, my dad asked me to say the blessing on the food.  I actually muttered something during the prayer about Mother in Heaven, and though I don’t think anyone really heard me, I haven’t been able to find my Priesthood keys since.  They just, like, disappeared!  I asked my wife, but then remembered she couldn’t hold them even if she found them.  I saw my oldest brother glaring at me, but he denies having them.  If anyone happens to turn them in, let me know.

Dear Peep Stone:  I spent years and years growing up as a young woman in the Mormon Church carefully crafting my very own, hand-made, lovingly appointed guilty conscience.  Last month, my husband and I decided we were done going through the “motions” at church, and quit attending all together.  I haven’t seen that guilty conscience since, and I’m scared to death it’s out wandering the neighborhood!  I have NO idea the damage it could inflict on someone who is unfamiliar with its quirks.  Please let me know if anyone reports a sighting.