Time once again to rummage around in the pile of mail we receive daily…hourly, even…and see what kinds of questions our readers have.  We love our readers, because without them, we would run out of ideas for the other clandestine website we run, “Stupid Mormon Tricks.”

Dear Peep Stone Editor,

A colleague of mine has a portrait of Porter Rockwell hanging in his office, and claims that he’s one of his “personal heroes.”  I’m kind of offended by that, considering the guy was a notorious outlaw and cold-blooded murderer.  What do you think?

Pissed at Porter

Dear Pissed,

Dude!  You have completely forgotten who it is you’re writing to!  Porter Rockwell was uber-COOL!  He wore his hair long, he talked Joseph Smith into letting him run a saloon in Nauvoo, and he didn’t take shit from nobody!  The guy could shoot a tick off a coyote at a hundred yards, drink any man under the table, and his beard was permanently stained from the tobacco juice…and he STILL could get a temple recommend!  Man, if we could be like that, we’d still be MORMONS!

Peep Stone Editor

Dear Peep Stone Editor,

My roommate told me that if I allow my Sims to have sex, that I’m violating the honor code at BYU.  Is that true, because if it is, I am so TOTALLY in trouble.

Brittney from Provo

Dear Brittney,

Your roommate is correct…nothing offends us more than simulated, cartoon sex.  You should be ashamed of yourself!  Get out there and experience the real thing! 

Peep Stone Editor

Yo, Peep Stone,

What happens if someone shows up at a BYU-I party with alcohol?

Wondering in Rexburg

Yo, Wondering

The girls get so upset that they put their clothes on and go home.

Peep Stone Editor