POCATELLO, ID—Sandra Williams of the Pocatello East 21st Ward testified at Stake Conference last week that the Chinese Zodiac is true.  She based that testimony on an experience she claims to have had at Ming’s China Café in which “irrefutable evidence” was provided by the Holy Ghost.

According to Williams, she had just finished the spicy Kung Pao Chicken, a Ming’s specialty, and was waiting for dessert when the unexpected happened.

“I was just, you know, waiting there, reading the placemat,” Williams reported.  “It’s not like my husband had anything to say.  So it turns out I was born in the year of the Monkey, and as I began reading about myself, I felt this most incredible burning in my bosom!” She said the burning intensified as she read about her husband, who is a Boar.  Not even the ice cream could cool the inner flame.

According to the placemat, Williams is ‘outgoing, with a tendency toward fun activities’.  “That’s exactly like me!” she says.  “Well, at least the part about liking fun things, but the burning in my chest, welling up in my esophagus like I might vomit, was just too much proof to dispute.  That placemat was true!”

Sister Williams maintains that the feeling persisted well into the night until, with the aid of a few antacid tablets, she was able to fall asleep.

“I felt kind of bad, squashing a profound spiritual experience with Rolaids, but my husband was starting to complain,” said Williams. 

“I don’t know from no spirit,” says Hal Williams, “but seems to me the smell of sulfur and brimstone would likely as not accompany a revelation of a different sort.”

Undaunted, Sister Williams is off on a quest now to determine if the Chile Colorado at El Gringo’s Authentic Mexican Diner could help confirm the Lamanite ancestry of the wait staff at her favorite Mexican restaurant.