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 This time of year my thoughts turn to the wonder of the great outdoors and I ponder the glories of God’s creation, what with watching the leaves turn from green to gold, hearing the sound of a hard frost crunching beneath my boots, and tracking a blood trail from that trophy bull elk what’s got my arrow stuck in his shoulder.
But you know, growing up in the mountains of Idaho, I was taught that every good thing in life points to the Savior, and as I work my way along the ridge following the sound of that thrashing elk, I got to thinking, “This blood I’m following, it reminds me that were it not for the blood of the Savior, there wouldn’t be no gospel at all.” That’s when it occurred to me that gaining a testimony is exactly the same as hunting a big ol’ bull, and next thing I know I’m feeling about the same as Enos, having a downright spiritual moment while hunting the beasts of the forest.
So looky here. If you want a trophy elk, you got to prepare. You make sure your rifle’s oiled, get some camo coveralls and a four-wheeler, and you might even sprinkle elk urine on yourself so they can’t smell you coming. With a testimony, it’s kind of the same, but without the urine. You got to make sure you have the right equipment, like your Book a Mormon and the rest of the scriptures. You’ll want a sharp, new red marking pencil (which, coincidently, is shaped a LOT like an arrow, and the red tip, well, that’s what an arrow looks like when you pull it out of the critter you just killed. I’m telling you, the parallels would be scary if it wasn’t so dang spiritual). You’ll be needing a white shirt and tie, and you oughta knock the manure off your boots before you go to church. Church is where testimonies bed down, so yup, you’re gonna have to go.
When you get up to your favorite hunting spot, you probably say a little prayer, right? Mine usually goes something like, “Father’n Heaven, you know the intentions of my heart, and though I sometimes cuss and I ain’t always been the best home teacher in the world, I’d still love to get me that elk I seen up here last Sund…er, last weekend, so if you wouldn’t mind leading me to it, I’d be much obliged.” But see, if you want a big ol’ testimony, you got to do the same as Joseph Smith, and pray first that you’ll find one like his. And just where did Joseph go to get his testimony in the first place? Weren’t no fancy-shmancy church with no stained-glass windows, was it? Nope, he went to the woods, out with the critters. Don’t it just send chills up your spine?
Next you need a guide who knows where that big bull hides and how to put you in range. For your testimony, the guide is a course the Holy Ghost. You already got your Guide when you got baptized, so why not put the bugger to use? Your Guide will know right where to find your trophy testimony, and as He eases you over that last hump, He’ll whisper in that still, small voice, “There it is, son,” (or “Missy,” since I don’t guess we want to leave out the women-folk!) “He’s yours for the taking.” When you finally bag it, your heart will just swell up in your bosom to overflowing and you’d probably weep were it not for the fact that your buddies would make you feel kinda girly! Too bad you can’t get your picture took with your trophy testimony like you can your elk, though.
Now then, you want your testimony to last forever, like your trophy bull, so you got to take care of some business. For an elk, you got to make sure you protect the head without tearing up the cape around the neck. That’s why you made a lung shot and not a head shot. With your testimony, you want to make sure you stay far away from stuff that’s gonna ruin your head, like reading anti-Mormon books, or going to R-rated movies. You might hear people talk about polygamy and stuff and you just plug your ears. Trust old Rulon on this one.
Once you pack him out, you got to take your bull to a reputable taxidermist so you’re sure to have him around for years of enjoyment. With your testimony, unfortunately you can’t just stuff it and hang it on the wall; you got to always take care of it, enduring to the end as they say. But don’t be ashamed to trot it out regular like, and show it to other people. I think the scriptures say something like, “Don’t go keeping your head-mount under a box or nuthin, keep it out where the world can see it.” Folks’ll appreciate you sharing it with them. Hell, maybe they’ll go get one a their own! How great’ll be your joy then?
Well, here’s hoping you find what you’re hunting for. Keep your spiritual sights set on the mark and you’ll always have a trophy testimony you can be proud of!
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