When the call comes to redeem the flock, ole’ Rulon steps up to the task.  The flock in this case happened to belong to an old mission companion of mine, Cletis McArthur, and the redemption was to come in the form of a couple a dead wolves.  Clete, he called me up the other day and said he had permission to shoot a pair of federally sponsored sheep terrorists what’ve been chewing on his yearlings out near Stanley in the middle of nowhere, Idaho.  I’m a great fan of protecting lambs, and an even bigger fan of killing wolves, so I naturally heeded that call.

Me and my Winchester rolled up to Clete’s place last Saturday, ‘cept you could barely even see his place pokin’ up through all that snow.  The Stanley 2nd Ward, they’ve been praying for moisture for other parts of the country these past few weeks, askin’ the Lord to consider leaving well enough alone up there in Stanley.  Still, Cletis keeps a couple a hot little Polaris sleds in good running condition, and we knew we was in for a great day.

Sure enough, about the time we got those sleds out to where Clete’s sheep is holed up for the winter, we spotted them rascals, prowlin’ around, looking for trouble.  I plugged the she-wolf, he plugged the male, and like that, trouble over.  And that, brothers an sisters, is when the lights went on in ole’ Rulon’s head.  This was exactly how it was going to be for the Elders of Israel at the end of the Millennium.  Soon as I seen that, I had to park my sled and set a spell, marveling at the unraveling mysteries of the end of times!

See, we’re none too concerned about the first thousand years after Jesus returns, right?  I mean hell, we’ll be eating manna from heaven (or Sister Wesson’s pot roast, I’m hoping…) and spending our time catching up on all them lost thousands of years of temple work, and things are gonna be just swell hanging around the Lord an all, with Satan all bound up.  But just about the time we wrap up all the work, Satan gets one more crack at things, and that’s when all hell breaks loose.  Me and Clete, we’re ready.

What I’m trying to tell you is that for the past 100 years, there ain’t hardly been any wolf problems around these parts.  Like Satan during the Millennium, they’ve been “bound” so to speak up in Canada.  Sheep men like Cletis had it pretty easy, and they’d a made a ton of money, ‘cept there ain’t much use these days for sheep.  But never mind about that, I’m getting off track.

Then about ten years ago, that son of a pumpkin, Bill Clinton, loosed those gosh-darn Canadian wolves, and reintroduced ‘em to Idaho—and Cletis McArthur’s sheep.  It was just like Satan and his fanged beasts, that’s what it seemed like to those of us who watched in horror.  They been creating havoc, (more the wolves than Bill), for the good and honorable men who look after the flock in much the same way Lucifer and his minions is gonna do soon as they get that last chance.

As Mormons, we know there’s only one way to defeat the devil, and that’s with the armies of Israel!  Ole’ George W. Bush, he’s practically God, and what’d he go an’ do?  He give men like me and Cletis the right to track down those demons when they cause trouble, and shoot their hides to kingdom come!  George, he’s like the prophet, and me an’ and Clete, we’re like the armies of Israel, ‘cept we ride snowmobiles! 

And I guess that’s what gives me comfort, knowing we are indeedy in the last days.  I know that come what may, we have the power of God on our side, and whether it’s wolves, Muslims or the yellow Chinese, the Elders of Israel stand firm and ready to blast their behinds all the way back to hell!  The way I figure, that’s the only reason God’s gonna turn Satan loose in the end—just so me and Clete and the rest of the High Priests can pull off one more long shot, and fill his tail with lead ‘fore we go gallivanting off to the Celestial Kingdom, where I reckon we’ll have to retire the guns once and for all! 

Here’s hoping you keep your holy ammunition at the ready, so when God calls you to the hunt, you can say, “Here I am!”  Just follow me an’ Clete, if your snowmachine can keep up!