LOGAN, UT—In a surprise to all parties, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints found agreement with the Logan-based Postmormons on an important issue for both organizations. At a meeting requested by Regional Representative Archibald K. Yost, the Church asked for sensitivity on the part of Postmormons when speaking of the President of the Church. Specifically, Yost stated that Mormons take umbrage to the frequent use of the pejorative, “the Profit” when speaking of the Church’s President.
Said Yost, “There is no ‘f’ in ‘Prophet’.”
The Board of Directors for Postmormon.org sat stunned for a moment, glancing at one another in disbelief. Finally, speaking on behalf of Postmormon.org, Jeff Ricks sought to clarify the Church’s position.
“Are we to understand that the Church’s official position is that there is ‘no effin’ Prophet’?”
“That is correct, obviously,” said Yost. “There never has been, and never will be.”
The Postmormons seemed shocked by this official position. “I never thought I’d see the day,” reported Postmormon Board Chair, Mamapajama.
Ricks was still not convinced, however, and again sought clarification. “This means that the Mormon Church is, after all, a ‘non-prophet’ organization, is that right?”
“Of course,” replied Yost. “There is no profit to be found in our books.”
The Postmormons gave Yost a round of applause, and promised to announce this information on their website immediately. “Our members will be delighted,” said Ricks. “We agree with the Church’s position completely.”
“You do?” was the surprised response by Yost, who expressed great appreciation for the willingness on the part of Postmormon.org to meet with him, and was personally moved by the Board’s willingness to cooperate with the Church’s request. He then asked if the Board would reconsider condoning the use of the word, the “Morg.”
“I don’t think we teach that,” said Ricks. “I don’t think we emphasize it.”
As a follow-on question, Peepstone editor, Peter_Mary asked Elder Yost, “Do you know what you get when you cross a Bulldog with a Shih tzu?”
The meeting concluded with both parties agreeing that communication is a powerful bridge-building tool.