1994 age 37 Young Men's President.

Never did the mission thing. BIC

Arch defender of the church with what I see now as a wacky logic.

My wife gave me a book Mormon Polygamy as a joke for Xmas. Always joking around about needing multiple wives to handle all my wants and needs.

One Sunday I was reading it. As I say with "Adult Eyes". I was on chapter 7. My wife woke up and in the process said. So how is the book. I said "If you can get through chapter 7 and stay a member your doing pretty good"

This started a search that I can only say was one of real pain and anguish. I read everything, keeping an open mind. Always making excuses as to the why. Really difficult to say the least. Learning you are wrong and male is not an easy thing to swallow. Read it all, loved Ogden Kraut sp? He really wrote the Mormon beliefs in plain and clear detail. Followed the money and the Sex in the beginning. Learned that JS believed he was a blood descendant of JC. JC had 4 wives, it goes on and on. I finally prayed that I did not want to be afraid anymore, I just wanted the truth. Holy crap, the heavens opened and it just came so fast.

I quit going to elders quorum. I couldn't take another lesson on tithing and home teaching.

My final straw was Ferguson's story. I think his statement from my memory was "the saddest part of my entire journey was not that I found a lot of proofs of the BOM it was that I didn't find one"

I didn't want to live a lie. I could do the dual life. I just could not bear the thought of facing JC with that kind of deceiving intent.

A real deal breaker was the fact the BOM as a historical document is a complete fabrication. This was the hardest thing to even speak. Now it is easy, but then you felt as if you would puke.

I was summoned to the Bishops office. He was my X counselor now elevated to Bishop. He was my age with a 24" 2x4 lodged firmly up his corporate Mormon rear. Sorry for the graphic ref. But it serves.

      I was really nice, I had typed up a letter from me and my wife asking to take our names off the church records. Man did he ever get pissed. Red faced he threaten my family with eternal damnation, ill health, financial ruin....10 minutes of really bad stuff.

At that moment a peaceful feeling just flowed through me. I listened and said nothing. He finally stopped, I waited. Then said, I have known you for 10 years, I don't wish anything bad on your family. I hope you children are healthy and your marriage is great. I hope you get rich and all your dreams come true. His eyes were bigger than baseballs in shock. He started to back peddle I would not let him take it back. Two more hours it was done. I relented and said "I would keep coming but he had to give me a non doctrinal job". I would not allow him to shun me as I had seen done in PEC meetings.

My wife said "why did you say that" I said "it was a test, I know their love is conditional on you believing the party line" I knew his corporate boyscout self righteousness could not allow that. They released me the next day. I quit going. They came by the house and I could see they were really scared for me and the temple promises made and their believed consequences.

I finally said after serving them drinks and being the perfect host....."Tell you what, I will leave it up to your inspiration at to what to do, but that you should remove our names" On Que a loud sigh of relief was gasped by both. Pretty weird to say the least.

      Dang...... they sure treat me nice now. They feel they need to love me back into the fold. I wave to them on Sundays. All the friends just disappeared. Only two stopped by to know what I thought. My knowledge of the facts was not a good thing for them. I kept it to a minimum. I could care less to convert them out of their delusional happiness.

It is now 14 year later, better marriage, better life, better relationship with JC, Whew! The though of going back is like having to repeat JR high. Great lesson, love the members, I have no ax to grind. Just living SOOOO much better. So much happier.

Put away the books and facts to a dark corner in the garage. I am not sure why I am writing this. It was so much more involved than this blurb says. I mean my family fears and reconciliation. There frustration at the fact I am happier and find the belief system of Mormonism primitive and irrelevant to anything. I just shake my head at the propensity for humans to believe anything. I love the biological issues when it comes to belief.

If you got out, lucky you. I believe more in God and JC than ever before. Way more spiritual and with a much better understanding of the love of God and the idea of grace.

JC said his Yoke is easy....... what the heck... Mormonism weighs a billion pounds of a combobulation of wacky interwoven beliefs that at their core smacks of a tactics used by cults, just so much more refined.

Trust me, getting out is tough, a true leap of faith and one of the best top five things in my life.

 

I know they are rich, smart, phd's, senators, presidential hopefuls, professors, did I mention rich. So there you go. The power of belief knows no boundaries. It is not about truth, it is about belief. It is a a bio propensity that is in our core biology. I know Ouch!