I am a 36 year old woman.  I have lds ancestory back to Joseph Smith on all family lines.  I decided to follow my husbands lead when he began an intense study of the history of the church as well as other religions when he was in school getting his degree in Religion.  I loved Joseph's teachings and doctrines and felt of the truth of them but couldn't understand many of his personal choices.  One of those things that I believe was a personal choice of his- which I believe he misconstrued through a revelation he received was poligamy.  I believe that he interpreted it like a natural man and definately not a prophet and when he got caught- he had to let others in on it in the name of "revelation".  Anyway, essentially , my feeling at that time was that the church I belonged to now was definately not the "kingdom of God" as Joseph had envisioned it.   At the time my husband and I decided to just make the best of it for the kids sake in hopes that one day the church would be put in order the right way with a leader less infallable than the last one!  Silly conclusion I know but we have all felt dumb about our conclusions to make things palatable until we could digest more reality, right? :)

Here we are 6 years later and my husband and I just filed for divorce which is totally for the best.  We have always shared a seeking nature but had different agendas in other aspects in our lives.  My kids who are 14,12, and 2 have been amazing and a month ago we made a decision to be done with the church.  The thing that served as the catalyst in this decision was finding more knowledge and truth within the same realm of the initial teachings of the church but SO MUCH MORE!   This knowledge combined the "spiritual" truths I still felt were correct with scientific explanation and rational. 

I LOVE IT!   

Multiplicity of lives, molecular relationships, Christ, what the second coming really means and is, the three levels of interpretation of revelation and so on.

I told my family a month ago.  One sister and one brother and his wife did not talk to me.  The sister is now but the other two still aren't and that is ok.  I am fortunate in that I have an open family where truth is concerned.

With My in-laws and other family and friends I am being led to just keep dropping alot of verbal cues until they figure it out themselves.  We live by them all so I am able to do this.

I am so looking forward to meeting up with the Ex-Mo arizona chapter and finding other like- minded individuals.  I really have personally not known anyone else who has "officially" broken free and tred this path.   Maybe there are and I just don't know them yet?  Now- through your stories and posts I know all of you.

I don't have alot of pain and sadness left to write about because it really was pretty minimal and right now my soul is so free that nothing else matters

Thanks for giving me this outlet to share.