BIC 1975, MIT to RM 1995, staunch, rigid mormony girl, doing all the things right. and then studying...
Polygamy? WTF! The male / female power imbalance thing really didn't set right with me, although at the time I could never put my finger on it. I wouldn't let the disturbance in my heart sit unappeased. I questioned my CES Institute teacher on those teachings and was dissatisfied.

I 'woke up' in 1999 and have been remolding my life ever since. So, what an adventure this is. I am in a fairly good place now, but I have definitely had my moments.

Leaving Mo has been a process. Taking off the garb, (huge at first)

Borrowing a VHS on the subject of the BoA, (now that is screwed up!)

Giving myself a raise, (huge at first)
my first turning down of a calling, (Big)
and now, coming out
RfM. 

Basically, I gave up
reading the BoM and other church works around 2000
and stopped activity in 2002-3. I am married to a
cultural Mo. We have one child. Glad I stopped before

the mormon me that wanted to have 5 led me to a large dose of daily

prozac. My DH teaches EQ and still goes to church.

He is as tolerant as they come, although he himself my never explore or

chose to hear the facts.

 

The members don't bother to come looking for me.
We moved last summer from an area that is 90% mormon into an area

that is 50% mormon. That was a strategic part of my detachment.

I work on Sundays as an excuse not to come.
I am still on the records,
and have even experimented
with going back to church for
my husband, and to make friends,
and to see if I could get anything out of it.
The last time I ever attempted, though,
I literally became nauseated and could
not stay though sac mtg. I was so
angry at the authoritarian dogma
spouting from the almighty pulpit!
I was horrified. How could
this be happening? A bishopric
member bearing his testimony about
those that don't go to church being
in a world of hurt? What about the
people sitting in the pews having
to heart that garbage.

 

My father has been
the active facilitator at RTG in SLC
since 2003. Thanks to his example,
this process is less scary. I've attended
that a dozen times or so since its inception,
held at the universal unitarian Holliday location.

I have freshly found paganistic philosophies (since Spr 2003)
that have lead to incredible moments of
insight, wonder, and delightful bliss!

 

FWIW, though,
I jumped from the frying pan into the fire for
a couple of years after emotionally resigning from the Mo.
Another group called Impact Trainings took me in, stirred me, and than,
I realized it was all to much. I had been duped again by some of their angles and less than perfect motives. 
My involvement was from 2003 - 2005.
Participating in that group, did however open my eyes to other world view.
Also, certain philosophies
were practiced that still appeal to me on some level.
(New Age, paganism)

 

Took part in a pagan ceremony during a lunar elipse / full-moon in order to release all karmic ties that bound me backwards and forwards in space and time during the spring of 2003. What I intuited immediately afterwards, completely out of the blue, was that I had just released all of my temple covenants, because they no longer served me. I recommend this too anyone who is concerned about the psyhic connections that may still unconsciously be holding you back.

 

Cutting the chords from Impact was even more devastating than
detaching from Mo, because I felt good and
inspired and alive in that group. Whereas, with the Mo, I usually felt just "not right,"
or I was depressed and just fakin it.

SO, just the other day, I was ready to here from
a guide. A knowing came that
It is time to forgive that group, draw a new line in the sand
and start over. I am ready to move forward again.

 

October 17, 2007 update.

My father (who resigned) and my siblings were inactive long before I was. My father and one of my siblings have been veritable reference points in order for me to be safe exploring the fundamental facts vs. myths of mormonism. That is how I studied the BoA a couple of years ago. That is also how I was referred to Grant Palmer's book, An Insiders View of Mormon Origins, of which I have just recently read. The Rabbit hole just keeps getting deeper.