Why I write my experiences

Many people ask me why do I blog about the negative experiences I went through in the mormon church. The answer is very simple, first of all to get rid of all the feelings I got during those terrible years I went to church in the Antwerp Stake. It's my healing process. The second reason is to share with others, in Belgium or abroad, about the possible negative experiences they can have if they ever join an organization that presents itself as a place where love reigns but where in fact, prejudice, misjudgement, bigotry, blackmailing and mind-control abound. Mormons not only control the way you think, they also control your entire thinking process, and if you resist and say that you still have a mind of your own, then you are given "a reputation". Some of the titles they stick to you are "he doesn't keep the commandments", "he is a sinner", "he doesn't fit", "he is not a good influence to our children", just to name a few.

 

For 16 years many mormons in the Flemish part of Belgium made my family life a daily living hell. So many times we tried to get possible existing (???) issues straight out but never with success. Now that finally we had the courage to say "it's enough, we don't take it anymore" some of them are very worried because I publish my experiences with them on the internet. Shouldn't they have thought about it before they did to us and to our children what they did? Shouldn't they have thought about it before they were so bigot towards us? Shouldn't they have thought about it before mining our marriage and family?

 

I need to re-learn to think without the "inplanted mormon-thinking software", and so far I can say that it works. Many ex-mormons need to share their experiences with others because leaving mormonism is not easy and they long for a listening ear, for a open and receptive heart. The internet is a marvelous tool because it brings all of us together and we can build a worldwide support network. There are several networks out there and members are always ready for a helping hand and a listening ear. After posting a thought, you get the first supporting mails within minutes. I am so thankful to all those who helped and still help me with their e-mails, their words and their posts. And I am also so happy to be able to help others through their ex-mormon ordeal.

 

 

Leaving the church after 14 years in the Belgium Antwerp Stake 

Since January my family and I don't attend the meetings of the LDS church since we were requested not to (not directly but that's what they meant). As some of you may know, my wife and I were approached by the high counsel representative of our ward in January and he informed us that the bishopric prefered the church services that our family did not attend. Not only my wife and I were shocked with this but our 3 children were shocked as well. Our two youngsters don't want to listen to anything that has to do with God or religion anymore.

 

Our son is being treated for dislexy since 3 years now and people with dislexy have sometimes a weird behaviour. That was not understood although my wife explained the situation time and time again. Instead of helping him, he was treated in a way that other children's parents warned us that he was not being handled in a christlike way. So my wife talked again with whom she was supposed to. It was not accepted because nobody knew better than the bishopric and primary presidency (not even us his parents) what was best for our son.

 

Then I decided that it was time for me to take action. I spoke to the bishop and asked him why he didn't talk to me concerning his troubles with my family and why he and his counselours prefered the church meetings that we did not attend. I also asked why he sent someone else to pass us the message instead of telling us himself. I was told in a very rude way that there was nothing to talk about with our family, he also insulted my sister-in-law saying that in spite she was a church member, that while he was a bishop that the bishopric did not consider her a member, and he hung up the phone. After calling the stake presidency and informing them about this, there was nothing that changed. We later received a mail from the stake's first counselour informing us that this was a test that God was giving us (and I can write a lot about the way members and leaders have been treating our family since I met my wife. Even our children when they were under 8 were not spared!!!).

 

It's amazing that while we were giving clothes and bikes to his grandchildren (on that Sunday, right before we were called by the high council representative we gave a second bike and a few other bags with clothes to his grandchildren) he never told us that we were a problem as a family. On the contrary, he told us several times that we were a very good LDS family. Right before the interview he even saluted us as if we were his greatest friends! The same when we gave referals to the missionaries, when the missionaries came over to eat / meet our friends. He even called my wife and I to be temple workers in the Hague temple, but the last time we went to the temple (a year later) we found out that he never sent the names to the temple for us to be called.

 

He also did not have a problem when false doctrine was preached from the pulpit by his friends nor when his first counselor told to another member that my in-laws were the worst family in the ward.  It was also not a problem when my oldest daughter found her brand new Bible all wet in the baptismal font and when we found insults to our family in a Hymnbook. (Updated 25 May 2010)

 

As a result of this we decided not to return to the LDS church. My wife goes with our oldest daughter to another ward (not anymore - today is 18 Aug 09) but my two youngest children and I don't. With this my mind was in deep confusion and for two months I even denied the idea that God exists (sometimes I still do, they were able to destroy my faith in God to its very core!). As I spoke to a catholic priest, my belief in God resumes little by little. There are days that I believe that He exists, and there are days that I don't. But I am not mad/upset/disappointed with LDS leaders. To tell you the truth, I don't feel anything for them.

 

I requested for our family not to be contacted by local leaders (ward) anymore. We don't want such people in our lives. Local members are more than welcome as long as they don't speak about religion. Via a former Relief Society president we found out that there are lies about us going around, but we don't care. We are glad that when she informed us she added "I know you several years now to see when people tell the truth about you and when they are not telling the truth. I don't believe a thing of what they told me about your family". Many of our church friends are amazed that it took almost 15 years since my wife and I got married for us to stop attending, considering everything we went through in the church. We don't regret what we did and how we served.

 

Around March I decided to start studying about the church on my own, especially some "ghosts that have been infiltrating" my mind for several years and what I found about the church was not pleasant. I found out that the church has been lying to me since the very beginning about its doctrines and about what it claimed to be. The more I searched the more I found. I felt betrayed, stolen and abused. Betrayed because they betrayed my faith and confidence, stolen because they stole my time (2 year mission and all the time I gave them) and money (10% of my family income) and abused because before you know you are brainwashed and spiritual and emotionally abused. Mormon leaders are specialist in brainwashing, blackmailing and intruding in your family life before you notice it.

 

When I found out all of this my soul cried and bled but with time I was able to rise again and to be happy. In fact, thanks to that bishopric I had the courage to open my eyes and to discover that mormonism is a huge fraud. Since I found out the truth about Joseph Smith and his gospel I don't consider myself a member of the mormon church anymore (begin 2010 I resigned from the mormon church on a certified letter to Salt Lake City - I hope to receive a letter soon confirming that my request was granted).

 

Since we stopped attending, I am getting better from my depression (my wife stayed home from work for 6 weeks, always crying and feeling miserable because she felt that she was such a bad person). We are finally making friends who care and not people who want to invade our lives with the intent to sabotage our marriage and our family basic foundations. We are finally happy and growing in love and unity.

 

We wish you all the best and please know that as long as you don't speak about religion you are welcome. Our friends are always welcome. But now it's our time to live and to be happy. Our son is also getting better and now for the first time he has real friends who really care and help him with his dislexy. We feel free and loved by our new friends, what didn't happened before.

 

Attending church in fear 

"You have the right to remain silent; everything you say in the mormon church will be misquoted & used against you".

 

While attending church in the Belgium Antwerp Stake I experienced something I never experienced before during my life as a member of the mormon church: Fear. I noticed that if you were not a member of certain families, your behavior was seriously watched by others. What you said, what you thought, if you played with children (yours or not). Everything. When you gave a class, if you would say something that a member of certain families would not agree, then the entire leadership, would fall on top of you. When you get home you know that the leaders are talking about you, they are giving you a bad name and before you know, when you say the smallest little thing it's immediately considered negative or the biggest stupidity anyone can say. The Holy Scriptures teach that we should not judge and yet, mormons are the most judgemental and most petty people I ever met in my life.

 

I remember last year correcting something in a priesthood class and the members of the bishopric dismissed me immediately saying that I was wrong, that they would do things the way brother X taught them. Even after reading the confirmation from the handbook, brother X was the one who was right. The following week the stake president confirmed my words via mail and brother X was still the one who was right. What more could I say? What more could I do? But when brother X 14 years ago said in a talk and on a blessing to his newly born grand-daughter that Jesus Christ would return on year 2000 everybody finished with a big "Amen". Now we are in 2009 and I still didn't see Jesus Christ returning and I also didn't see the Millenium as he said that his grand-daughter would grow up in... Also when a sexual education class was given by brother X to the youth (with parents attending) with explicit drawings, everybody followed it with so much interest as if Jesus Christ himself was teaching the basic principles of sex. In my wife's family they always laughed when they remembered brother X making a  drawing on the board and asking what it was and then a young woman raising her finger and proudly saying "it's a penis, brother!"

 

A few years later in another unit I refused to attend a fireside on sex given by the branch president and his wife, and because of that I was accused with the most vile things someone can be accused of. Later I found out via the former primary stake president that films were shown during that fireside on sex!

 

 So to protect yourself you decide to be silent because whatever you say is always interpreted the totally way around. You go to church in fear, you attend in fear and when you return home you are happier than ever because the torture of attending is over and because you still have (thank goodness) a few hours to enjoy of your Sunday. Or while you return home you see your wife and children crying because of the most stupid comments people made to them (since I wrote this post I received several mails of people in the US, Canada and Belgium telling me of the very same experiences!).

 

You would also feel depressive because no matter how good you would do your best, it was never good enough for someone, there was always criticism, backbiting and you would see all your work being broken down by the members of the "elected families" who supposedly knew a lot more and always much better than you and everybody else put together (once in a correlation meeting I suggested a certain ward activity which was promptly dismissed. Two weeks later, a sister from one of those elected families, proposed exactly the same activity and was received with a big "great idea sister, go ahead!!!").

 

These "illuminated beings" were always above all criticism, even when they spoke the most absurd things like "the stake president wrote that but I don't believe that he really meant that, what he meant is what I said in the lesson (even if it was in total opposition to what that member had said)...",  "those rules are for America, not for Belgium", "first the studies, and then if there is nothing else to do then the young men can go on a mission if they want", just to name a few.

 

Sometimes I wondered what kind of church I was attending, but when I fell sick in 2006 I started to open my eyes. I wanted a blessing and it was never possible because my home-teachers (bishop and his son, who happened to be the Elder's Quorum President) were always in a very important meeting. "Not today, next week". I would hear this week after week after week. First filling stupid reports that the church loves so much, and later when everything was done, it was the members' turn (unless you belonged to the "elected clan"). So they would make you wait and wait and wait (you being sick or not, you having kids or not, or if your husband was in the hospital waiting for you...) until they were ready. Even a relative denied me a blessing because he was not my home teacher. After that I asked a blessing to every quorum member and I always got the same answer.

 

The same when I asked for home-teaching. When I needed the most, nobody was there except my home-teaching companion. Once when I was a bit better I confronted them with this fact, saying that I was hurt and suddenly they all acted like they were very shocked and even dared to say that all of them wrote me and they all called me, etc. Well, I never saw them and my wife and children didn't see any sign of them either. And my e-mail box remained empty as well. The funny thing is that they even believe their own lies! Fortunately one Sunday I went to a unit in another stake and after requesting a blessing, the bishop himself postponed a meeting he had to attend to give me the desired blessing.

 

Then you would see those people who had always turned their back on you give the most beautiful talks on how to serve others and leaving the "elect group members" with tears in their eyes... I was amazed with so much hypocrisy those people had in their hearts!

 

Something that always amazed me was the fact that the most important callings were always given to the same clan all over the stake. So you would see the same people rotate several times in the "big" callings over and over again. Who was not in grace at the eyes of those families, than it was known in the stake and you knew that you would never be called to serve in the so called "important callings". "So much the better", I thought. Like this I could spend my time and resources with the most wonderful people I ever knew: my wife and children. All this while others were in meetings taking care of administration (the most important thing in the mormon church) and gossiping about someone else's private life, or about this or that brother/sister's intervention in one of the meetings, and therefore they were not fit to receive this or that calling, etc.

 

When these "leaders" would arrive in church on Sundays, you would see how they behaved and how they dressed, that those "hello, how are you" (if you were lucky enough to get one) was so cold, so false. Usually when I would make an intervention in a class and someone would not agree, I frequently would hear  "well, that's the flemish mentality, flemish are like this. If you don't like just return to Portugal". I could not believe my ears, I listened so often to this! I work with flemish people and none of the flemish I know (except mormons) are so arrogant as this. Flemish people are nice, friendly, ready to help, have a nice sense of humor and are thankful. Most of the mormon leaders I met here in the Flanders are arrogant, they think they are better than Jesus Christ and I even had the chance to meet one that told me that if he would meet Jesus that he would ask him to apologize to the salesmen he expelled from the temple in Jerusalem. With this you have already an idea....

 

Since the very beginning I tried to raise my children in Portuguese and my wife would raise them in Dutch. Like this the children would be able to speak with both families and it would be easier for them later to learn other Latin and Germanic languages. I never received any negative comment from anyone except from members of the mormon church from the Belgium Antwerp Stake. How many times while I was talking to my children and suddenly there were members coming to me saying "You are in the Flanders now so speak Dutch!" Now, isn't this what is taught in the church lessons concerning tolerance and the "pure love of Christ"?

 

 

Unit border changes to kick us out

In 1997 we moved to a beautiful village named Wintam  to live nearer to my office. We lived in a small house with a beautiful garden. We lived there for three years. We then attended church meetings at Sint Niklaas, the unit of the stake president at the time. We enjoyed church there, comparing with Leuven it was like the window has been open and fresh air was invading a very dusty room. The members were very nice and the youth was simply the best you could have. My wife and I were called as Young Men president and Young Women president. We had wonderful lessons and activities and they came to us with their problems. The youth really trusted us. Once during an auxiliary meeting with the branch presidency I asked the branch president to stop "terrorising" the youth because we have been receiving complains about his attitude towards them. We were approached by the youth crying about dignity interviews and also other interviews.

 

It was as hell as frozen. The branch president took my remarks so seriously that since then, without me knowing, each time he needed to talk to me he was not friendly anymore. As if it was because of my wife and I that the youth came out crying from his office. Some time later I received a phone call from the relief society president. We talked about the youth and later she called me again. She apologized because she has been obliged by the branch president to call me about the youth while he was listening in the second line. When I confronted him with that he was not comfortable but defended his action on using someone else to be spying on me.

 

He made everyone's life a misery. His second counselors asked him repeatedly to stop treating me the way he was doing at to take care of the youth and stop playing the big Master. No ears were given. One evening we were called by a missionary from the Antwerp Second Ward to welcome us in his ward. I replied that he must be mistaken because we were members in Sint Niklaas. He informed us that the borders had been changed. I could not believe my ears, so to get us out of his ward because we defended the youth, the branch president requested for the borders to be changed.

 

As I wrote before, we were living in Wintam (near Bornem), and for us to start going to our new unit, we needed first to drive to Sint Niklaas (Sint Niklaas ward boundaries) and then take the highway to Antwerp, or we needed to drive to Willebroek (within the Mechelen branch and then take the other highway to Antwerp. No way that I needed first to drive through another unit to be able to attend my brand new unit. Besides, Sint Niklaas was only 20 minutes away and Antwerp 2 was 40 minutes away. I could not go directly because we were separated by a river and within the borders was no bridge.

 

I tried to explain the situation to the stake and ward leaders and as usual, "inspired leaders never make mistakes" and they made us move because it was for "our own growth". So I said, if you want us out of Sint-Niklaas, OK, so we go to Mechelen (we were looking for a house there and the unit has just been reopened). Later in the week, when they counted their priesthood holders they were dismayed because if I left they were not able to qualify to become a Ward (they would have a priesthood holder too short). They called me trying to convince my family not to leave but we reminded them that "for our growth" we had to leave Sint-Niklaas. So we left anyways and they hid that fact from the GA's and they counted me to become a Ward.

 

"We believe in being honest..."

 

 

Mormon Leaders don't apologize 

While on Earth, Jesus Christ taught everyone who listened to Him the Golden Rule "do unto others what you would like other would do to you", so I understand that apologizing is included in this basic principle, as well as the principle of forgiveness. Something that you will never hear a mormon leader say is apologizing. Why? Because they have a very hard time acknowledging that they make mistakes. When they make a mistake and when/if you confront them with it they always answer "oh, but we didn't mean to do/say it THAT way". The fact is that they REALLY MEAN TO SAY IT THAT WAY/DO IT THAT WAY.

 

So all those lessons on forgiveness and restitution are meant to investigators and to regular members but NEVER to mormon leaders. They say that they are not perfect but act as if they are. If you say something you may also get a stamp of being a "rebel", as they love to name people who don't bow to everything that is said/asked. And on top of it, they may still have enough nerve to lecture you in such a way that you will feel bad for having made a simple remark. The same applies if you give a suggestion that they never thought about, just the fact that it may be different of what they thought, may get you in serious trouble! And then they give that talk they love so much "Beware of Pride"... The principle that the mormon leaders teach the most for the moment is "obedience". Why? Because people are opening their eyes and they start to think for themselves. And they also have the internet at the top of their fingers, something they never expected to be available to the general public.

 

 

Home Teachers

Let's be honest here, I never liked home-teaching. Really, I always saw it as breaching the privacy of a family and I never liked that. So I think I never had 100% on home-teaching. On the other hand I almost always loved to receive the home-teachers because it was the chance to see someone from church during the week, although that only happened on a regular basis with two couples. One of them was while we were in the St. Niklaas branch in the Antwerp Stake. There I had the best home-teachers ever, it was a brother with his disabled son. The adult son didn't say anything and just smiled, that smile ment the World to me. He was as old as I am and I felt so sorry for him, but even today I love him dearly. His father was someone who always supported us individualy and as a family. He knew what we were going through because a few years before he also had lots of bad experiences with members of his previous branch (people were signing papers requesting that his entire family would be excommunicated).

 

Those home-teachers were a breath of pure air each time they came in, so full of love, so pure, so radiant. I also love his wife and children (now adults and good married). We were regularly invited to their place and we spent many hours together. They always were and still are a good example to me. At the time our children were very young and cried when they wanted to eat or needed a new diaper and he always said "I enjoy so much listening to babies crying, it's music to my ears". He visited us and was our friend not only by assignment but also out of pure love. We are very thankful for that!

 

We also had home-teachers who wanted to know every detail of our daily life, and once when I asked how one of his children was, he said "well, that is a family matter". He was offended that I asked how is sick son was doing. I was so sick of that paternalist attitude of his that I left the room and he stayed alone with my wife and I didn't return until he was gone. It was the last time we had home-teaching. We had several sad experiences with that HT and we saw that he was like that and didn't even want to consider a possible change in his attitude. Although I really know that it was not his intention, he did hurt people a lot with some of his comments. On the other hand, he was fantastic with my children, they loved him dearly and once in a while he helped them with maths.

 

 

A Bishop playing God

A few years ago I lived a very bad experience while still active in the mormon church. One evening I was called by the bishop and he requested to see me the following evening because he had a very important issue to discuss with my family. I told him that it was not possible, the evening was already taken for a few months now. He said that it was so important that nothing could be as important as this meeting he wanted to have with us. I informed him that my daughter (10 years old at the time) was giving a concert and that the tickets were sold and the theater was sold out.

He offered to come to our place after the concert, and once again I declined because there was a reception after the concert. He requested for us not to go to the reception and I declined. He then said that he wanted to come to our place when everything would be over, around 11 pm. I declined because it was no time to have meetings at members' places and the following day the kids had school and we needed to go to work. I suggested that we met on Sunday before church. He declined. He suggested that we met on Friday or on Saturday. I declined, I was having a former mission companion over for a visit. The bishop than asked me to leave my visitor alone and to come and see him with my family. Again I said that I would do that Sunday before church.

 

Then it started. He asked me what I would do if someone would die in the family or if Jesus Christ himself would call me and request to see me immediately. Then he added "as a representative of Jesus Christ in this ward, I command you to receive me before Sunday, otherwise I am obliged to take measures against you, your wife and your children (10, 8 and 7 years old at the time). I told him I didn't accept that kind of speech and told him that he should not compare himself to Jesus. I said good-bye and hung up.

 

By the way, the very important subject to be discussed with our family (as well as with all the families in the ward) was "what do you think we all should do to improve unity in the ward?" What about starting having some respect for the members?

 

 

Interviews with Church Leaders

Here I would like to write a few priceless quotes leaders made me during my 25 years of church membership.

• Why don't you date sister...? Are you afraid of not being able to handle her in bed? (Stake President)
• Even if God tells me, I will never call you to be a Bishop, Counselor or member of the Stake High Council. (Stake President)
• While I am Branch President you will never work with the youth. 10 years ago they all went inactive because of you and your wife (Branch President). He later apologized recognizing that he was wrong.
• If you ever want to be a leader go back to your country, what are you doing here in Belgium? (Stake's First Counselor)
• Why are you here in Belgium and why are you marrying a Belgian member?  (Belgian Brussels Mission President 1994)
• I represent Jesus Christ and God. If you don't make time for me before Sunday I will take measures against you, your wife and your children. (Bishop)
• If you wear a light suit you are not a good missionary and you will not find converts to baptize. (Europe Area President during my mission. All missionaries in the Zone had between 1 and 3 baptisms and my companion and I had 10). :)

 

 

Inside the Mormon Temple

During the missionary discussions I was told that the Temple was the holiest place on Earth and the Brazilian missionary who taught me was very enthusiast talking about his Temple experiences but also with a huge respect for that "sacred house". Needless to say that after my baptism I also wanted to go to the Temple and I always longed to listen to the experiences that everybody had to share.

 

At the time the closest Temple was in Zollikofen, Switzerland, so it took a lot of savings (sometimes longer than a year) to be able to spare for the trip. Not even the 48 hours trip by bus (sometimes without airco in the middle of the Summer) would frighten us. Not even travelling with babies, even if they were only 2,5 weeks old. It didn't bother us to travel with babies crying, with a diaper smell, it was such a privilege to travel in such circumstances and to do what we thought it was the Lord's will to all of us... So, after 2,5 years of membership, I headed to Switzerland. I was very happy and eager to perform "baptisms for the dead". When we got there we got a "cold shower", the temple didn't know that we were coming (lost the letter AND fax sent by the Lisbon stake) and had given our accomodation to another stake. Great, so there we were, 2500 kms from home and without a place to stay (with temple hotel payed 3 months in advance). After persistent negociation we were able to stay in a Swiss nuclear bunker in the neighbourhood of the Temple. I was surprised to see that there was no organization whatsoever in the Temple and to my dismay we, southern europeans, were looked upon like if we were inhuman. In the bunker we could not take a shower and we were denied that right at the temple hotel. But off we went upstairs and took our showers anyways, causing lots of complains by the hotel employees at the time. There were lots of complains going both directions between the Temple presidency and the Lisbon Stake presidency.

We were told that in spite of our trip that there were no names for the baptisms for the dead but suddenly, also after a hard negociation, we were able to make 15 baptisms/day/person and not the 30/day/person that were promised before we left. It was a great experience, I really loved being baptized for deceased people. Until the end it remained my favorite work in the Temple.

 

I did my endowment after my mission and it was a great trip. It was on 27 February 1990, right before they took of the penalties. I loved the iniciatory cerimony, I felt like ‘yes, this is it! This is what I was missing since my youth'. But then I was amazed that I was asked to make covenants before I was told which covenants I was required to make. I found those ‘so sacred covenants' nothing special, they were most simple and not sacred at all to be kept so secret. And those penalties? Disgusting! But even so, I was marveled by the Celestial Room and what it represented and I longed to be there the longest I could. Baptisms for the dead and being in the Celestial Room was what I longed the most all year long. There I felt safe and at home. And I loved those words at the entrance of the Temple "Holiness to the Lord". I frequently said that I didn't need to go to the Temple because the Temple was with me. I was wearing my garments, and I was so proud of them, they were never an obstacle.

 

In 1991 I was called as a Temple Worker in the Frankfurt Germany Temple and I didn't like it because I was not able to the work normal members were doing and I was only busy at being at certain places on time to perform several Temple activities. There I also had the unpleasant surprise to find a member with a certain mental problem being kept tied up to his bed. Arms and legs. I was shocked and in spite of the instructions of the Temple presidency and local leaders, I called the paramedics and that brother was taken to a German hospital and taken cared of. The following day while I was working in the iniciatory part, the Temple president came in and rebuked me in front of everybody for having called an ambulance and given assistance to someone in need. I was told that the plan was to send that brother tied up to Portugal by bus. Imagine that! I was shocked! How could we possibly cross 3 country borders like that, without being noticed by the Police?

I later heard that he spent 2 weeks in the hospital and sent to Portugal by plane.

 

During my time as a Temple worker I was confronted with the huge temple burocracy, people making things so much harder than they were (if there is a harder way why should we do it the easy way?), I saw people's genealogies being lost, ordinances that needed to be repeated because of records lost in the Temple, Temple missionaries giving other people's genealogies without permission to members to do the works, parents being married to children, parents in law being married to sons/daughters in law... Thank goodness we had witnesses who were vigilant! We also had sons almost being married to their fathers and daughters to their mothers. That was fun to see... but also very frustrating. The top was the unity between the members. Those were wonderful moments. Those were also times when wonderful friendships were made and deep personal feelings were exchanged.

 

From 1994 my love for the temple started to vanish because the Temple became a place to be in a hurry. By this I mean that we had to always hurry to get on time for the next session that was starting right after the previous one had ended. There was no more time to meditate and to pray in the Celestial Room. Going to the Temple was more running than anything else and for a time members were not even allowed in the Celestial room between endowment sessions or longer than 10 minutes after the end of a session. There was always someone coming to tell us to leave.

 

Then our kids came and we could not find anyone to look after our children when we went to the Temple. So for 8 years we went to the Temple and while my wife was in I stayed out taking care of the children and vice-versa. When I told this at church, local leaders offered to look after my children but a payment was requested for the time they were looking after them. I was astonished, I always looked after children (sometimes even 7 at the time and alone) and I never asked for a single cent! I also drove pmembers to the Temple for free and I saw other members making business of those trips by charging money from the members they were taking. A certain amount by km!

 

When we were 10 years married we went to the London Temple in the UK. While I was in the Temple an elderly couple asked my wife where I was and she said "well, he is in the Temple". Then they said, get dressed and meet him there and we look after your children. We were so touched! They also offered to look after our children each time we would go to the London Temple, even living in a small town near Birmingham! What an example! They were ready to make several hundred miles just to give us the opportunity to go to the Temple together!

 

Finally it was announced that we were going to have a Temple built in The Hague, the Netherlands, just 90 minutes away by car. We were thrilled for such a blessing and we were looking forward for the opening! Once we drove there to see the Temple being built and show it to our children. When our bishop found out, we were severely rebuked because the stake president didn't want that members would go to see the Temple in construction. The only thing that made us happy in that story is that the brother responsible for the building had seen us and invited us to go in and see. We were so happy!

 

We never left our children behind when we went to the Temple because we wanted that they would grow up being Temple lovers.  Even being so young and while one of their parents was in the Temple the other stayed outside with the children, sometimes with a temperature of -3°C  (25° F).

My oldest daughter loved serving in the Temple, the two youngsters hated it because they could not go in. A monthly trip to the Temple was always met with a "Oh no, not again".

 

Fortunately the second president of The Hague Temple in the Netherlands was who I call a real Christian, a man of Love. Just to see him with our family and our children made our hearts melt and our eyes wet. Such a wonderful man! I will never forget that once he saw our oldest daughter waiting for us and he said "well, we wait that your parents finish their session and then we are going to have a baptismal session only for you".  It was the most special Temple service ever! The Temple president and his counselors were witnesses. What a difference with all the Temple presidents I had met before! This time it was not a burocratic man but a man that shined love to everyone around him. He hugged and smiled to everybody. He took time to the elderly, to the youth... Each time someone arrived he received that person as if he was welcoming Jesus Christ himself! Once we returned from an endowment session and his wife was taking care of our children in the waiting area! These people are among the few leaders that even today, I very much appreciate and respect.

 

After leaving the church we discovered that the church wasn't what it claimed to be and we also found out the origins of the temple ordinances (free masonry). We were devastated. The "castle" fell apart all at once.  The foundation of our family fell apart and we felt as we were sky-diving without a parachute. The period between January and April of 2009 was the period when I made the sad discovery that the mormon church is a fraud and when my wife and I had many feelings to process. We also had to deal with our oldest daughter, her heart was seriously broken, almost beyond repair. I apologized for bringing her up in a sect and for being so naive by accepting the mormon gospel. But we acknowledged that we are a family because my wife and I met in a Institute activity.

 

Looking behind, mormon temples are the place where women are humiliated and used as cleaning servants, the maids of the priesthood, and where the most stupid covenants are made. These pathetic promises can be also made outside the Temple, even on the day of your baptism. Before we were required to make those covenants we were never asked if we wanted to make them. How could we answer in all honesty if we did not know what we were going to promise?

 

The temple is past time now. There are good and bad memories but we keep the good ones. Many sacrifices were made to be able to go there, but I don't regret them. It all made me a better person and thanks to the church I met my wonderful wife who I love so dearly. I met wonderful people who taught me so many wonderful lessons, but also the most hypocritical and judgemental people that I could ever meet.

 

Yes, I used to love the Temple. Now that one is going to be build in the city where I grew up I just think "if people only knew what that building really means..."