I am 20 years old, and for the first 19 years of my life, I was as hard core as mormons came.  I was born  in the covenant, baptized at age 8, got the Aaronic Preisthoodhood at 12, etc., etc.  I was the president of deacons and techers, and the first assistant in Preists.  I never missed church or YM.  I had 100% attendance in seminary, and I knew all the scripture mastery verses.

I graduated from high school at 17, and went to BYU- which was only about 10 minutes from my home/high school.  After 2 years at the Y, it was time for me to go on my mission.  At this point, I began having big major problems with the historicity of the Book of Mormon, and the temple really scared me. But this made sense, because everyone told me that Satan would try to tempt me the most right before I left.

Whilst flying back home for my farewell (or whatever they call it now), I read an article in the LA Times about some PostMormon-type support group (the article ran around 06/01/06). I knew this was my last chance to leave, since I was flying to the MTC on the 6th.  I could not bear the idea of disappointing all the ward members so badly, so I stuck with it, and left on my mission.

Anyway, I left on my mission to Africa.  For the first time in my life, I was spending all my time thinking about religion- specifically mormonism.  The more I read from the BoM, the less I believed it.  I started reading "The History of the Church in the Dispensation of Times." Even the churches bleach-clean version of their history couldn't hide gigantic holes in the whole story.

I tried to fake sicknesses so I could get sent home honorably, but it didn't work- so I told my MP to send me home. This was the most terrifying decision I have ever made.  I had no idea how my life was going to be after I made this choice, but I decided that it was more important to be honest with myself than to please everyone around me. I got home about 3 days before Christmas. My parents were furious with me, and none of my friends (who were all LDS), accepted my new-found desire to explore alternatives to Mormonism.

My ONLY support through all of this was my brother, who left the chruch the same time as me.

I lost my scholarship to the Y, and they also kicked me out.  I decided to move to TX, where I knew absolutely no one, and I could make a fresh start (and I started going by my second name, which- unlike my first name- is not distinctly LDS).  

This decision to leave the LDS church has completely uprooted my life, and destroyed all the plans I have been making my whole life... That having been said, I think this is the best choice I have ever made, and it has allowed me to finally feel, think and experience things that I could not while I was tied to a church that is simply untrue.

I have never been happier, and I encourage anyone who is about to reluctantly leave on a mission, to consider this.