FINDING YOUR WINGS
Mired down, repressed, used and sold
I strain against my chains.
I’m awake now, I see it clearly
My mind is free
But now I struggle against my captors
I fight, they fight
I love, my heart breaks for those I love
I reach out to free them from their chains
They won’t let me touch them.
Their saviors are my captors,
Their saviors are their captors
I was the victim of promises, I was the heir to their lies.
I was a prince to their universe
I’m free of my chains,
Now I’m a rogue, a wanderer.
My world is shattered, my safety is gone
The sun does not shine anymore,
It rains now,
I turn my face to the sky and smile
Lord set my spirit free,
And although it stings
I remind myself
That sometimes you have to fall
To find your wings
--Ronin
Recovery from Mormonism
There is not a right or wrong way to feel.
There is not a set time limit for you to heal.
There are times when you are bitter, there are times when you are sad.
There are times when you want to scream out loud you are so damn mad!
There are times when you question, there are times when you want to shout!
So now what the hell is this life all about???
Your emotions are unstable, you feel your life is a mess.
You feel life as a Mormon was a waste of time more or less!
You don't know how you could have ever believed such a lie
Sometimes when you ponder you just wonder why???
How did I believe in the prophet when he was such a fraud!
How did I ever believe he really saw Jesus and God???
How can I trust myself when I fell for such BS?
Will I ever find my way out of this crazy mess?
Will the anger with in me ever subside?
Will I ever be able to feel normal inside?
I feel like screaming and shouting, Why the hell me?
Why did I live this way and never quite see!
The guilt and the shame, they took so much of my time.
Out of every dollar they took my last dime!
I followed, I trusted, and always obeyed.
I'm hoping with time the scars will soon fade.
I want so bad to be done with this crazy grief.
I want to be able to feel complete relief.
I want to be able to trust again someday.
I know it can happen with time they say.
I wish I had the answer to my question of why.
I wish I understood what will happen now when I die.
It was so nice knowing that there was a plan
The only problem was it was made up by a MAN!
It hurts so bad to think of loosing the ones I love.
I am hoping some how there is still a heaven above.
Is there really recovery from Mormonism???
I do not know for sure, only time will tell.
I am hoping one day to be far from this hell.
But for now I can only live life day to day.
And hope that my life wont always be this way!
There are others who have struggled and found peace now it's true.
So if it can happen for them, I hope it can happen for me too!
-- chick formerly known as Molly