I just had to tell somebody -- I'm now officially an ex-Mormon! I'm not going to write about my spiritual evolution at this point, just the process of leaving.

It wasn't as difficult as I'd thought it would be. I wrote to the Member and Statistical Records Division on August 4, 2010, declaring my resignation and asking for my name to be removed from the Church's records. Here's the body of the letter:

Dear Sirs: 

This letter constitutes my formal resignation, effective immediately, from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I hereby withdraw my consent to being treated as a member and to being subject to church rules, policies, beliefs and discipline. As I am no longer a member, I want my name permanently removed from the membership rolls of the church.

I have given this matter considerable thought. I have not attended or believed in the LDS Church for more than 25 years, so you can be assured this is not a passing whim. I understand the seriousness and “consequences” of my actions. I am aware that you will consider this to mean cancellation of the “effects” of baptism and receiving the Temple endowment. This is but mythology to me. I have made up my mind and cannot be dissuaded.

As to why now, after so many years, I’ve finally decided to formally leave, there is a very short answer: Proposition 8. On this day when a California court ruled that abomination unconstitutional, I choose to celebrate that decision with my formal resignation. As a Californian, a humanist and a believer in the separation of church and state as set forth in the U.S. Constitution, I deeply resent the LDS church using its money and influence to interfere with California law and politics to take civil rights away from some of our citizens. 

My resignation should be processed immediately, without any waiting period. I have not contacted the local bishop because I have never attended church here, and I do not wish to make his acquaintance under these circumstances. Further, I expect that my name shall not be divulged to him or any local authorities. and would not welcome any visits from any LDS officials. I expect my request to be handled promptly, respectfully, and with confidentiality.

As of today, the only contact I wish from the church is a single letter of confirmation to let me know that I am no longer on the membership rolls of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Sincerely,

 

I received a letter back dated Aug. 10, addressed to "Dear Sister xxx." The manager of Member and Statistical Records, Gregory W. Dodge, said he'd been asked to respond to my letter. He continued:

I have also been asked to inform you that the Church considers such a request to be an ecclesiastical matter that must be handled by local priesthood leaders before being processed by Church employees. therefore, your letter and a copy of this re ply are being sent to President Wiliam R. Southwick of the Ukiah California Stake. He will have Bishop Joshua J. Richardson of the Fort Bragg Ward contact you concerning the fulfillment of your request.

In view of the eternal consequences of such an action, the Brethren urge you to reconsider your request and to prayerfuly consider the enclosed statement of the First Presidency.

Sincerely, etc.

The first thing I did when I saw the enclosed leaflet, "An Invitation," was to tear it up.

Then I wondered how to respond. Obviously, "the Brethren" had ignored my firm request (impertinent demand?) to process my resignation promptly and privately. My only concern about publicity, aside from making enemies unnecessarily among any LDS members in my small town, was that I didn't want them contacting my parents to get them to try to persuade me to stay, or something. I don't know whether they do that, but I wasn't taking any chances. I don't need to twist the knife in my parents' hearts by telling them I've gone to the trouble to actually leave the Church. They know I'm a nonbeliever, and they of course have their own interpretation of my actions.

I did some further research on exmormon.org, I think it was, on how to resign. I realized I hadn't given them my birthdate. Did they need that to process my resignation? So I was thinking about writing another letter adding that detail and reiterating that I had already resigned and was not subject to any church discipline or other procedures. I wasn't really relishing the prospect of writing again, and I put it off. I knew they'd really have to waste time and money on a private investigator in order for the local bishop to track me down, since I'd given them only my Post Office box address and I'm not listed in the phone book. I think even my Mom has stopped giving the church my addresses.

Then last Friday, I received this letter, dated Oct. 14, 2010, from Brother Dodge:

Dear Sister xxx:

 This letter is to notify you that, in accordance with your request, your name has been removed from the memberhsip records of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

So, that wasn't so bad after all. I've read elsewhere that the Church has been inundated with complaints and resignations in the wake of Prop 8, and that they've also been chastened by an unfavorable court ruling or two for trying to discipline members on their way out of the Church.

Dodge concluded the letter with: 

Should you desire to become a member of the Church in the future, the local bishop or branch president in your area will be happy to help you.

 

Sincerely, etc.

 Ever optimistic!