I was a 5th generation mormon and grew up in northern utah with TBM parents. I have spent my whole life hearing how lucky I am to have been born here, and in the church. I attended all my primary lessons and young mens activities and was very active in mormon life until I turned 15 and refused to go anymore and so I never made it past the office of teacher in the Aronic priesthood. I was rebellious and free-spirited a natural non-conformist. From 15 until 25 I had very little to do with the church but I had never questioned it's truthfullnes, I had no reason to.

     By the time I was 25 I had decided that something was missing in my life and so I turned to mormonism to fill my void. I became faithfull and temple worthy and met a young woman whom I took to the temple and was sealed to. I had finally done everything I was taught I should, and that my family wanted me to do. everything was supossed to be perfect after that right? well it was for about 4 months. Then she told me she wanted a divorce because I was not measuring up to her father (I wasn't able to  keep two full time jobs and finish my degree at the same time) so she had convinced the bishop to counsel me to sign the divorce papers but I refused because I had always been taught that a temple marriage was forever. I told the bishop he was a fraud if he believed we should divorce for no apparent reason and I never went back.

     In the year following my divorce I fell apart, I became depressed and commited some crimes sufficent to warrant a stay in the utah state prison for three years. while there I found a copy of a book called "gods word final infalliable and forever." By Floyd McElveen. (I still had a belief in christianity at that time.)

This book had some very brief comments about the "adam god doctrine", "the book of abraham" and all the changes to the book of mormon. I had never heard anything bad about the church before that day, I was very confused because I had been told that all "ANTI" literature was nothing more than lies by angry people with nothing better to do than tear down other peoples faith. but these things I read didn't sound angry, and the authors didnt seem to have any agenda other than to genuinely help people. what I was reading made sense, and that was more than I could say for the church. I had always had things that bothered me about the church like: who was the first god? if god had a god and he had a god and so on and so forth who started it all? and if there are countless numbers of worlds and they all need jesus to save them why was he sent to this one to die? isn't that very convienent? I had been told that if something didnt make sense it was because I wasn't supposed to understand it or it would be revealed later etc. well even that started to not make sense and so I began a full scale investigation of the church. I was limited on what I had access to as I was incarcerated but I did the best I could. I sent inquires to christian book clubs and ministries, I contacted local christian pastors, sent letters to Sandra Tanner and the lighthouse ministries and spoke with anyone who would listen. 

     I was looking for anything I could find about mormonism. I read " mormonism unmasked" by R. phillip Roberts. and "have you witnessed to a mormon lately." by James R. Spencer. and many other letters and pamphlets that had been sent to me as a result of my requests. my first reaction was anger, I was really disgusted with the church for perpetuating this lie and allowing so many people to devote their whole lives to a figment of joe Smiths imagination. I then decided the best thing I could do about it was to arm myself with the truth and become versed in the matter as to help others discover the truth for themselves. I was and still am amazed at how readily people accept whatever they are told is right and believe it so blindly. I was a victim of this very thing and so I began to question everything I have been told to believe in. I read "holy blood holy grail" and "the jesus papers." both written by Michael Baigent. I learned the truth and realized that I had been decieved my entire life. not only about mormonism but about christianity in general so I sent a letter of resignation to the LDS church and declared myself agnostic. 

     Since my release from prison over two years ago and my recent release from parole I have collected everything I didnt have acces to in prison and have been able to share the truth with my mother and sister. I have been labeled an apostate and son of perdition by my family and neighbors and am accused of brainwashing my mother and sister by my other siblings.

     I cant help but wonder if I would have ever learned the truth had I not been sent to the prison.