Well as my story isn't as involved or deep as others here I felt I needed to share it anyway. I was born into the LDS church, raised in a small mostly LDS community and and that blah blah blah. As a young woman I realized there were things I had trouble believing about the church. I never honestly read the entire BOM cover to cover, never really made it out of 1 Nephi to be honest. I attended Seminary and still never had a true revelation that the church was true. But I was going, since my paretns told me I had to until I moved out. The only real fun I had was at Girls Camp. Anyway, I followed the "this is the true church, these are their standards this is how it is."

When I reached High School I didn't want to be active but still the parents told me I had to. My senior year, even though I was attending church on Sundays, I worked and made sure I worked every Wednesday to avoid the MIA activities. By this time I had moved twice and never ever felt welcome in the new ward. Our stake is very spread out and covered I believe 3 counties. So the groups that were already formed as friends weren't about to let a "new girl" in to their circles.

During these years I felt the compulsion that the "grow up get married" thing wasn't what I truly wanted but it was what was supposed to happen. I however didn't date a good upstanding LDS boy. I married that non upstanding non LDS boy right after graduation and stopped going to church. Our marriage wasn't an easy one and within several years I found myself wondering why I felt empty and like something was truly missing. After the birth of my oldest son however I felt that I needed to return to church for my kids sake. So I did. I still didn't feel the revelation that it was true and doubted several concepts the church had. Several more years past I had another son and still was feeling empty inside my marriage. I also began noticing that I was growing closer to my female friends and noticing women in general more often. But Church and God forbid  I ever think about women in that context.

After several more years of a miserable marriage and fighting constantly about of all things sex, because well I didn't want to with him. I started looking towards ways of finding the part that was wrong. Long story short. Two years ago I kissed my first woman and WOW what an eye awakening experience. I realized that this was the hole that I felt and that the part of me that was empty was because I was in the wrong relationship, I was in one with a man and wanted one with a woman. After several trial and error of thinking just having one there with both of us would help our sex life I soon came to realize that I rather enjoyed just the woman time and didn't want to be bothered with the man time at all. Which as you can imagine just made us fight more. See as long as he got some of the action he was fine and dandy with it. But when I started finding and talking to more lesbians who were to say the least not interested if not done right disgusted with the thought of a man being there, I realized that's what I wanted to.

I took the plunge in July of 2008, left my marriage of almost 13 years and came out to everyone as a lesbian. Let me tell you my life has never been better. I found a connection with an amazing woman I met 8 years ago, and with her support and a new relationship have "come out with a vengence.

As you can imagine that is not sitting well with my LDS family or the church. Two weeks ago I recieved a lettter informing me that they were holding a Bishops Disciplinary Council meeting on my behalf because I was not living up to the standards of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. And that their job was to save the soul of the transgressor and the good name of the church. And that I was invited to participate in this meeting. If I could not attend or needed to reschedule to let them know.

My response was.... I will not be attending the meeting you have told me about, not because I can't but because I chose not to. And I am asking to have my names removed from the records of the church. I do not feel that I need to come before you to justify myself and that the only people that can judge me are myself and my Savior. I regret that you feel I am "staining" the "good name" of the church but I have a good name that needs to be free from "staining.

I did not attend the meeting, however my father was asked to attend and he did. Oh what fun I had realizing that, because I didn't know before. But what a relief to finally know who I truly am and finding my place in this world as an open and happy out of the closet ex Mormon lesbian. I have found my true soulmate, best friend and soon to be wife, even if we have to go to Canada to do it. There is no place else I would rather be.

But what I shock for me to realize that the "true church" the one that says to forgive others is my "final judgement" here on this Earth???? Who are they to judge. Of you that are sinless let you cast the first stone, or something like that wasn't it from the bible.

Anyway so there's my story, and how I came to find this enlighting website full of people who have in their own ways gone thru something the same as me. Being cast out or just simply turning away on their own from a church is the harstest judging people I know.

TLFaith