Not long after my divorce in June of 2001, I decided to go to an LDS singles dance.  It was my first coming out into the world as a d-i-v-o-r-c-e-d woman, a word that only stuttered off my lips due to the shame and embarrassment I felt associated with being one.  It was an "After Conference Dance" and started as the Saturday evening session of Priesthood let out.  I attended with a good friend and neighbor who was very active in the Church and had also gone through a divorce herself several years before mine. 

As we stood chatting, I noticed a gentleman enter the hall with salt and pepper colored hair flowing down past the middle of his back.  Wearing khaki pants and a striped shirt he wasn't dressed like the others in the required uniform of the priesthood: dark suit, white shirt and tie.  I said to my friend, I'm going to ask that guy to dance, to which she responded I can't believe you are going to ask him to dance!

Three dances later I was amazed at our conversation and what I learned from the man Jay Benson.  He gave legitimacy, by virtue of his resources and connections, to many of my growing concerns about the LDS Church and its leadership.  Any time I would run into him at another dance I would quiz him on his latest discoveries, but eventually we fell out of touch.

Towards the end of July 2004, I drove to San Diego, CA for a three week restorative respite at the Optimum Health Institute (OHI) where I had been several times before. While there I learned from another guest, that I could stay one month for the price of a regular week as a "missionary" by trading out my services in the kitchen or garden as a working guest, which required a three month commitment. 

After I returned home to my little cottage in Farmington where I had moved after selling our family home, I started the application process and was accepted to begin the program at OHI on September 24, 2004.  I was very much looking forward to getting away from growing legal and family squabbles.

On the virtual eve of my departure we had a major family crisis which necessitated my canceling the reservation to begin my three month stint.  The person in charge of the Missionary Program at OHI was not happy at this news, and made no secret of it.  Had I waited a mere 24 hours before calling to cancel, which is what it took to find a solution to our dilemma, I still could have made it by the 24th, but I was too embarrassed to call her back 

In October, out of the blue, I received a phone call from Jay one evening (which I would have missed had I already left for SD).  After a brief catch-up he said, I have something to tell you.

OK.  I said waiting patiently for him to reveal the purpose of his call wondering what interesting snippets he'd come across now. 

After hemming and hawing he finally blurted out, Julie, I believe the sealed portion may have been translated.

Hearing those words was like feeling a jolt of electricity run through my body and in excitement I exclaimed, Oh my gosh, how can I get a copy of it?

He said, it's on the internet and I've printed up a copy of the retranslation of the 116 page Lost Manuscript (which caused another surge of electricity throughout my body) and the chapter headings to The Sealed Portion for you.  I'll drop those off to you this evening.

I didn't have to wait long before there was a knock at my door.

Immediately I sat down and began carefully perusing the synopsis of each chapter heading first. With a gathering pit in the bottom of my stomach, and a gnawing and pervasive thought enlarging in the back of my mind, which had been drummed into me since my youth:  Lucifer will tell you 99 truths to sneak in one big lie, I thought this is going to be nothing short of controversial!  But I decided to refrain from judgment until I had actually read the text of The Sealed Portion in its entirety.  While I was questioning the validity of the LDS Church more and more, and becoming less active, I had not completely severed my ties with the Church.

When I started next on the 116 page Lost Manuscript, the Book of Lehi, my first thought was, well, sure this is exactly what I would say if my intent was to vilify the LDS Church.   With only a half-hearted cursory read through, I didn't give it much merit at the time, but continued to pester Jay for a copy of The Sealed Portion.  While it was available free on the internet, I did not have internet service nor could I work my way around a computer other than to write a letter or send an email.

In the mean time, about a week before Christmas, I worked up the courage to call OHI and speak to the lady in charge of the program.  She told me, as luck would have it, there was an opening for a working guest on January 13, 2005 if I could make it by then, which didn't leave much time to make arrangements for my belongings and my little dog.  The lady sternly warned me that I'd better not bail out at the last minute like I did before, because she had been considerably inconvenienced.  I assured her I would be there "come hell or high water"!  I didn't realize how fortuitous that statement was until on my drive to SD discovered sections of freeway between Las Vegas and San Diego partially underwater due to an unusually wet winter!

Early in the evening on Christmas Eve, I received another surprise phone call from Jay.   Julie, he said in a voice of solemnity, I'm just driving into SLC from having visited the man Christopher, the translator of TSP, in San Diego, (which is the first I learned he was living in SD), and I believe he is who The Sealed Portion says he is---a Prophet of God. 

This time I prevailed upon Jay for a copy of TSP and he promised me that first thing Monday morning after Christmas on the 27th we'd meet at the Copy Center in Layton, where I could make a copy from his printout of The Sealed Portion, which took Jay three cartridges and over a thousand pages (remember it's the 2/3 of the gold plates J.Smith was not allowed to translate)

I ordered 4 copies at $63.00 each, certain my children and friends would be as excited as I was to read it and have a copy.  Wrong!!  I have one daughter that will not even allow me to whisper the words "the sealed portion" in her presence.  Eventually I gave all but my personal copy away and as far as I know none as yet have been readL.

Since I wasn't working at the time, I started reading TSP around the clock.  Nestled under a down comforter on my sofa in the ancient and chilly little cottage I rented, I read until I fell asleep.  Whatever time of the day or night I awoke, I continued my exquisite feast, albeit slowly, amazed and mind blown at its delectability. 

From the profound but simple explanation of the Temple endowment from which a loving Father wants ALL His children, if they so desire, to partake, participate and understand without cost, stipulations or restrictions (I never could understand the coffee thing which prevented my son with Aspergers from going to the temple, yet worthy in every other way); to my utter joy as I learned who Adam and Eve's first born was, and that blacks are not cursed as my dearest black Mormon friends had been taught by the LDS Church; to the concept of multiple incarnations of which I had already been convinced, believing no Loving Father would give His children only one chance to get it right; to the sequencing of the TSP alone, which is magnificent.

I wept with Moroni's telling of the extraordinary love story and reunion between Seriphia and Michael upon Adam's death, and thrilled beyond words to read that the Father was now preparing righteous men for his daughters, if that so be the desire of their heart.  There was nothing I thought I wanted more!  Now the hope and possibility lay before me of my dreams being fulfilled by a loving Father, particularly sweet after the harshness, desertion, and betrayal I had experienced in my marriage.

I could not stop reading long enough to bother fixing a meal or leave my apartment to find prepared food.  Each night I would eat either a ¾ pound Hershey Chocolate Bar w/almonds or Symphony bar I had left over from Christmas.

When I got half way through the book to Chapter 50 vs. 10 it read, "And in the latter days, even after this record shall come forth among you, this last prophet who shall give these things to you, shall direct you in the way that ye shall give of your abundance to help the poor among you."   As it began to talk about the Worldwide United Foundation, I became sick, sick, SICK!  I had loved and accepted as truth every single principle and concept I had read thus far, but now it appears there will be a church formed and money solicited.  Here it is I thought, sick to my stomach, the one big lie sneaked in among the ninety-nine truths.

I put the book down, took a long hot bath and changed into street clothes, and left the cottage for the first time in a week.  I took a long walk in the cold, brisk air trying to clear my mind, but thoughts of TSP would not leave me.  After a brief respite and a fairly decent meal, I was compelled to return to the sofa and TSP.  I pressed on with much trepidation holding my breath at each new revelation waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I read, reread, took notes and marked up passages trying to absorb explanations and understand concepts that boggled my mind, but made too much sense to be refuted or denied.

That went on until January 10th when I finally forced myself to put the book down--- unfinished---for in two days I had to leave for San Diego, and had done nothing to pack or prepare for my three month absence.  I made arrangements for my dog only, inasmuch as I figured I'd be back in three months, not realizing it would be nearly 8 months before I would return.

About a week after arriving in CA, I finally found the time to complete my reading of TSP.  I closed the book at the end of Chapter 100 and breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Without a shadow of doubt I knew that book was an inspired work of God, and I knew that whoever translated that record was indeed exactly who TSP said he was: a divinely called and chosen Prophet, Seer and Revelator, Brother, Friend and Servant not unlike Abraham, Issac, Jacob, Abinadi, Samuel the Lamanite, or Joseph Smith whose divine commission was to translate 1/3 of the gold plates, while this "Bearer of Christ" was called and chosen to translate the remaining 2/3, as promised and prophesied to come forth in Isaiah 29 (JST),  Ether 4, & 2 Nephi 26-27.

Because I also believed what TSP said about this Prophet perceiving your heart, I knew I had lots of work ahead to purge myself of the vitriol and bitterness that remained after my marriage ended. Therefore I waited for more than two months after arriving in San Diego, before I made contact.  By then I had nearly completed my third reading of TSP when I met the translator---just in time to attend the April 6, 2005 Press Conference with its official announcement to the world of the coming forth of The Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon, the Final Testament of Jesus Christ.

Because of my acceptance and belief in TSP it has provoked criticism, persecution, and alienation from some of my children, extended family members and friends who flatly refuse to read a G-rated book because of the fear instilled in them by the LDS Church to trust nothing and no one, unless it comes through the leadership of their church. 

 What helped influence my own willingness to search for truth independent of LDS culture was something I heard President Spencer W. Kimball say in a Las Vegas Stake Conference many, many years ago which I never forgot, "We accept truth no matter what the source"! 

Free at Last, Free at Last, Thank God Almighty We are Free at Last 

                            (M.L.King) 

As a true blue Molly Mormon, I had been inculcated to believe that if you remain virtuous, marry in the temple for time and all eternity, keep your vows, submit to your husband, have regular family home evenings, prayers and scripture study, attend the temple regularly, open your home to all the children the Lord sees fit to send, do your genealogy, never turn down a church calling or ask to be released from one, attend all your meetings, obey the Sabbath etc., etc., (ad nauseam) that you will enjoy "heaven on earth, and exaltation in the kingdom to come".   

Most days I could barely catch my breath and was often plagued with guilt when I couldn't accomplish the tasks; nevertheless I continued to strive for compliance even after I learned most Molly Mormon Superwomen were meeting the challenge with drugs.  After an exhausting, stressful and mostly miserable 33 years (and 8 children later), I wondered how the promised blessings could elude my family since "...men are that they might have joy." (2 Nephi 2:25).   If this was heaven---I would happily take the alternative.

I began to question other supposed "doctrines" I had naively accepted from the LDS (Mormon) Church as truths from God, to determine whether they had any foundation in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  My brain no longer on sheep mode, like most of the deserting flock I initially rejected Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon entirely.  I even began to question the reality of God---after all He didn't answer my desperate pleadings for Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes certain that was my only escape from hell without homelessness. 

After reading The Sealed Portion,  I "googled" the original Book of Commandments, and discovered that Joseph had been told not to start a church.   His only assignment was to translate 1/3 of the gold plates and that the remaining 2/3, the sealed portion, which contained the greater things or the further light and knowledge God promised to send,  would one day come forth.

It took Brigham Young two years after Joseph's death, to cull a following and isolate members in the west out of view of those who would question his unorthodox practices that exulted one gender and race, at the expense of another.

I needed only observe the practices of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (RLDS now known as Community of Christ) started by Joseph's family, in whose possession most of his original documentation was retained for a comparison.  They never withheld the priesthood from women or blacks, never practiced polygamy, and never built temples to "redeem the dead."  All those were inventions of Brigham Young.

It is true that Joseph taught polygamy (or spiritual wifery) the same way Christ did in his day that led to nunnery, but Joseph never personally practiced it despite accusations by his friends---the same "friends" that outed his hiding place and cost him his life.

The silence of the LDS Church in defending Joseph's character is deafening, but unraveling the mystery requires rummaging through archives and topics they are reluctant to broach with good reason:  If we tell the truth about Joseph Smith, then we risk exposing the myths about Brigham Young, and the origin of the LDS Church.

Where the line becomes skewed is how to parse or separate Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon from the Mormon Church, much the way the world was finally forced to separate The Bible from the Catholic Church.

In a world that has drifted far from its original moorings, Christians commemorate the birth of Christ with the trappings of Christmas (in Santa we trust), and Easter emphasizes and reminds us of the Easter Bunny (er... I mean His death), but no one celebrates the life or teachings of Christ.   Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ is a perfect example which focused exclusively on the  physical cruelties Christ suffered, but ignored the good news of the gospel, "don't judge your neighbor; don't call another a fool; never take offense; if they sue you at the law for your coat, give them also your cloak; love your enemies, do good to them that hate you, persecute you and despitefully use you; and forgive them even if they hang you on a cross, because they don't know what they're doing."

Notwithstanding His miraculous virgin birth and ignominious death the only saving work Jesus Christ performed was profoundly modeling and exemplifying the Royal Law He taught, “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you" found in Matthew 5, 6 & 7, which identical message is found in the Book of Mormon, 3 Nephi 12, 13 & 14. These are the two "prophets" or witnesses that lie dead in the street, clothed in sackcloth (black leather [book] jackets… because no one is living by those principles).

That same message can be found in many if not all cultures and languages around the world with little variation, which would be a far greater promulgator of peace on earth good will towards men, than the Ten Commandments---given in His" wrath"---for which Christians fight to keep in public arenas. 

Does God care more about where we publish our creeds than our deeds?

Wouldn't it make sense that God can provide His Word to His children in their own tongue, whether through Mohammed, Lao'ste, Confucius, Buddha, Socrates or Gandhi, and not require Mormon missionaries to preach around the world in violation of their own Articles of Faith: "We claim the privilege of worshiping almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where or what they may". 

There is only one way to learn real truth.  It is the same way mysteries of God have always been unfolded to mortal human beings—by the reason and power of common sense.  

It doesn’t matter how great the teacher, how plain his words, or true his sayings; if we do not use common sense to come up with our own understanding, we will never come to a knowledge of real truth or reality.  This sense is a gift given equally to all.  Whether we use it or not depends on how we live.  Have we, or are we still trusting and relying solely on the "arms of flesh" of our parents, husbands, ministers, prophets, priests, kings & presidents to supply our source of truth and light, because they proclaim a belief in God?  Or do we listen to our own hearts?  And how can we possibly know if our own hearts and minds are filtering correctly? 

There is only one way and that is if our thoughts and actions conform to the parameters and measuring stick of Christ's simple message, do unto another, what we would want done unto us if we were in the same situation, only then shall we know of a surety if it is truth. 

Arms of flesh that believe their arcana comes freely and without price from God then write up their testimonies and sell them for money, unwittingly witness against their own divine appointment or inspired origin, "…priestcrafts are that men preach and set themselves up for a light unto the world, that they may get gain and praise of the world; but they seek not for the welfare of Zion." (2 Nephi 26:29, B of M)  

Perhaps that is the message, hidden in plain sight, in the parable of the Ten Virgins, "And the foolish (virgins) said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.  But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you; but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves". (Matthew 25:8-9)

Consequently the "Word" is soon corrupted and changed in almost every sacred text, by those seeking aggrandizement, financial support, or to propose their own rules and agendas, becoming more of a divisive curse to humanity than a panacea to cure its ills and establish peace.

The LDS Church is no different from other religions that ask for money, never allow us to question or debate their authority, and invent new revelations and commandments not consistent with the scriptures they tout as "The Fullness of the Gospel."  For example, nowhere in the Book of Mormon does it state or infer that homosexuality is a sin, which justifies withholding civil or ecclesiastical rights to groups and individuals; yet, it clearly states that polygamy is a "grosser crime", which is taught and practiced (my ex is sealed to two living women) in the LDS church.  

Most notable is the ingenious marketing tool and greatest selling point that "revelation" became to amass new converts willing to pay membership dues in the amount of 10% of their gross income, so they can enter Temples (deemed "Houses of God") to receive that ordinance.

My common sense begs to know what loving Father would charge His children an entrance fee before being allowed into His home. 

When did we see Jesus at his angriest, if not when overturning the tables of the "moneychangers" in the Temple? 

How much plainer could Jesus say…  "I come not to send peace on earth but a sword.  For I come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.  And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.  He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." (Matthew 10:34-38)  

What person, regardless of their title, would have the arrogance and audacity to misconstrue, alter, change, invent, make-up or create any supposed or imagined God-given dogma or principle for any reason, but most offensive of all ostensibly to gain riches, particularly when it clearly states in their Book of Mormon, "For do we not read that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and in him there is no variableness neither shadow of changing?"  (Mormon 9:9-10)

Further undermining our conscience, common sense or "light of Christ," religions lay guilt trips on us (and excommunicate us when we exercise our God-given free will) that cause us to feel "evil," dirty and worthless, therefore in desperate need of an intermediary to whom we may confess our sins, and gladly pay for rectification.

One of the most pervasive mysteries that results in more agnostics and atheists is why a Heavenly Father would bless one person, family, or culture with prosperity, good health, the only true church, or winning ballgames (and wars), but simultaneously withhold daily manna from starving children, peace to war torn countries, or basic necessities from the poor and needy who are also praying desperately for relief.  The thought makes reason stare.  God is either here micromanaging with inequality or He isn't here at all.  We can't have it both ways and still believe in a God that is "no respecter of persons".  

By employing more reality and less myth, the answer can be found within their own Temple endowment (what's left after much butchering and editing by those who do not understand its significance and fear having their own "divine" authority challenged), "Jehovah, send Peter, James and John down to the man Adam….find out what's going on there… then return and report (ergo, He ain't here)."

In an attempt to establish a foundation that would reflect the true principles Christ taught, on April 30, 1832 Joseph Smith revealed to a small council of his brethren as recorded in the Doctrine and Covenants 83:4-6:

 4. All children have claim upon their parents for their maintenance until they are of age.5. And after that, they have claim upon the church, or in other words upon the Lord's storehouse, if their parents have not wherewith to give them inheritances.

6. And the storehouse shall be kept by the consecrations of the church; and widows and orphans shall be provided for, as also the poor.

The Mormon Church collects enormous donations, the amount of which they refuse to disclose (even to their own members), in the name of the widows and fatherless "pure religion and undefiled" (regardless of how they eventually invested and divested that income), yet incredulously withhold or sparingly distribute these sacred funds to the poor and destitute.  Instead they are used to build and maintain a Conference Center ($400+ million), a Pedestrian Plaza ($9+ million), many Temples around the world (approximately $30 million each) some within 10 miles of another.  Their most ambitious project to date is the renovation of a downtown SLC mall.  Estimated costs---one billion and rising! 

Most heart wrenching of all was the $50 million renovation that transformed the historic Hotel Utah into a luxury palace.  A far more fitting and worthy use of the building might have been to create a women's and children's shelter in honor of the man whose name graces the building---The Joseph Smith Memorial---but now shames and betrays his memory.

"Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me.  But ye say: Wherein have we robbed thee?  Ye have robbed me in the tithes and offerings that ye have taken of the people for yourselves.”  (3 Nephi 24:8, Malachi 3, & Mosiah 2:12) This scripture is often used to intimidate members into increasing their offerings, but who can "rob" the coffers except those who hold the keys?

Ultimately I had to ask myself, if He had all the money the LDS Church collects in His name---What would Jesus buy? 

Once again we can turn to the Book of Mormon (Alma 1:30 or NT Matthew 25:34-46) for the answer, "And thus in their prosperous circumstances, they did not send away any that were naked, or that were hungry, or that were athirst, or that were sick, or that had not been nourished; and they did not set their hearts upon riches; therefore they were liberal to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both male and female, whether out of the church or in the church, having no respect to persons as to those who stood in need." (Alma 1:30)…

What father when his son asks for bread would give him a stone [temple, confluence or mall]?