darkslider
8th October 2005, 05:26 PM
. . . So I am going to just jump into it. I apologize in advance for the length of this post, but I need to get it all out.
This is the fifth time I have attempted to type this out and share it with you all. . . it is a development in my life that I feel needs to be shared, not only for the support, but also so that others might learn.
For those of you who have read my posts, you may have picked up on the fact that my mother was physically and psychologically abusive to me and my siblings. As a quick refresh in history, so we are all on the same page. . .
I have two siblings. A half-sister, Camilla, age 18 and a half-brother, Ben, age almost 16. WE all have different fathers, our mother was the only thing that we shared.
My mother kicked me out of the house at age 16. "Get the F**k out of my house and get the F**k out of my life." were her exact words.
I was placed in State Custody after a 4 month legal battle. The state (utah) was trying to get my siblings out of my mother's custody as well. However, my mother is a masterful manipulator. She has it down so good that when she put my sister in the hospital by beating her, my mother convinced the police that it was Camilla's fault for "back-talking". The cop told my sister that, "If you were my kid, I would have taken you home and beaten the shit out of you, too."
As I said, master manipulator. An artisan of deceit, lies and manipulation.
Anyways, back to the point. When I was kicked out of the house, nearly 7 years ago, my Mormon Bishop. . . did nothing. For years I had viewed him as an accomplice to the abuse perpetuated by my mother. Bishop R*****s of the Battle Creek 5th ward, was alerted to the abuse not only by myself/siblings, but by neighbors and friends as well.
He did nothing.
In fact, this man had the audacity to place the blame upon me. . . as if my mother kicking the shit out of me was my fault. "Don't you think it would be better for you to just do what she asks? Then she won't hurt you."
What. The. F**k.
It didn't matter if us children were obedient or not. . . she would make up reasons to beat us. Breathing too loud, completing our chores, cleaning our rooms, taking longer than five minutes to walk the 1.5 miles to Church, just about anything. There was no rhyme nor reason, no method to her madness.
Anyways, skip ahead to my being placed in the care of the State. I knew that my mother was continuing her abuse with my sister and brother, but there was nothing I could do about it. The police were wrapped around my mother's finger, the state was terrified that if they tried to take Camilla or Ben, my mother would kill the other one. My hands were tied.
It has taken me years to recover from the situation. . . and sometimes I wonder if I will ever be fully "healed".
But the object of this post is my siblings. Because, while I was safe, they were still living with my mother. They were still "behind the iron curtain" as it were.
I knew that my brother was getting the brunt of the physical abuse. Going to his Eagle Scout Court of Honor, he had a black eye and his torso was all bruised. He "said" that he received the injuries playing baseball. . . but my sister told him to stop lying.
Skip ahead a few years. Yesterday morning, I was walking home from work. It was about 10:30 am (because I had to wait for my check to arrive) and as I was walking, who should bike past, but my sister Camilla. I called out to her and asked her if she would walk along with me and talk.
She had some really good news to share with me. My brother, after one beating too many, bugged out of there and is living out east with my grandfather.
My sister, after my mother turned to her as an outlet for physical agression. had enough and left for the local women's shelter. Some of you may know, but at a women's shelter, they do analysis and basic therapy (mostly in a group setting) to help people recognize the abuse.
My sister, after a week, came to the realization that what our mother was doing is wrong. Not just wrong, but sick and wrong. She expressed to me that she realizes, now, that she was being abused as well. Not just psychologically and physically. . . there might be some hidden sexual abuse as well.
All in all, it was a rather healthy conversation that lasted nearly 4 hours (in the middle of my sleep cycle) and a meal.
Remember the Bishop I mentioned before? Apparently he did a lot more than just ignore what was going on. From the information that I received, he called the Department of Child and Family Service (child protective services elsewhere) several times. He also assigned members of the ward to watch over my siblings and make sure they had places to turn for comfort, under the guise of being my mother's friend. There is an entire ring of people who made it their business to look out for Camilla and Ben.
So, all is well that ends well, right?
I have decided that I am going to sue my mother for custody of my brother. He doesn't have to go back to her.
Thanks for hearing me out.
Edited to Add: Also, I started asking Camilla about her religious beliefs and she made the comment that "Mom has a predilection for people and groups that are abusive and manipulative. Bryan, what do you think that says about the Church she made us join?"
There is hope out there yet.
This is the fifth time I have attempted to type this out and share it with you all. . . it is a development in my life that I feel needs to be shared, not only for the support, but also so that others might learn.
For those of you who have read my posts, you may have picked up on the fact that my mother was physically and psychologically abusive to me and my siblings. As a quick refresh in history, so we are all on the same page. . .
I have two siblings. A half-sister, Camilla, age 18 and a half-brother, Ben, age almost 16. WE all have different fathers, our mother was the only thing that we shared.
My mother kicked me out of the house at age 16. "Get the F**k out of my house and get the F**k out of my life." were her exact words.
I was placed in State Custody after a 4 month legal battle. The state (utah) was trying to get my siblings out of my mother's custody as well. However, my mother is a masterful manipulator. She has it down so good that when she put my sister in the hospital by beating her, my mother convinced the police that it was Camilla's fault for "back-talking". The cop told my sister that, "If you were my kid, I would have taken you home and beaten the shit out of you, too."
As I said, master manipulator. An artisan of deceit, lies and manipulation.
Anyways, back to the point. When I was kicked out of the house, nearly 7 years ago, my Mormon Bishop. . . did nothing. For years I had viewed him as an accomplice to the abuse perpetuated by my mother. Bishop R*****s of the Battle Creek 5th ward, was alerted to the abuse not only by myself/siblings, but by neighbors and friends as well.
He did nothing.
In fact, this man had the audacity to place the blame upon me. . . as if my mother kicking the shit out of me was my fault. "Don't you think it would be better for you to just do what she asks? Then she won't hurt you."
What. The. F**k.
It didn't matter if us children were obedient or not. . . she would make up reasons to beat us. Breathing too loud, completing our chores, cleaning our rooms, taking longer than five minutes to walk the 1.5 miles to Church, just about anything. There was no rhyme nor reason, no method to her madness.
Anyways, skip ahead to my being placed in the care of the State. I knew that my mother was continuing her abuse with my sister and brother, but there was nothing I could do about it. The police were wrapped around my mother's finger, the state was terrified that if they tried to take Camilla or Ben, my mother would kill the other one. My hands were tied.
It has taken me years to recover from the situation. . . and sometimes I wonder if I will ever be fully "healed".
But the object of this post is my siblings. Because, while I was safe, they were still living with my mother. They were still "behind the iron curtain" as it were.
I knew that my brother was getting the brunt of the physical abuse. Going to his Eagle Scout Court of Honor, he had a black eye and his torso was all bruised. He "said" that he received the injuries playing baseball. . . but my sister told him to stop lying.
Skip ahead a few years. Yesterday morning, I was walking home from work. It was about 10:30 am (because I had to wait for my check to arrive) and as I was walking, who should bike past, but my sister Camilla. I called out to her and asked her if she would walk along with me and talk.
She had some really good news to share with me. My brother, after one beating too many, bugged out of there and is living out east with my grandfather.
My sister, after my mother turned to her as an outlet for physical agression. had enough and left for the local women's shelter. Some of you may know, but at a women's shelter, they do analysis and basic therapy (mostly in a group setting) to help people recognize the abuse.
My sister, after a week, came to the realization that what our mother was doing is wrong. Not just wrong, but sick and wrong. She expressed to me that she realizes, now, that she was being abused as well. Not just psychologically and physically. . . there might be some hidden sexual abuse as well.
All in all, it was a rather healthy conversation that lasted nearly 4 hours (in the middle of my sleep cycle) and a meal.
Remember the Bishop I mentioned before? Apparently he did a lot more than just ignore what was going on. From the information that I received, he called the Department of Child and Family Service (child protective services elsewhere) several times. He also assigned members of the ward to watch over my siblings and make sure they had places to turn for comfort, under the guise of being my mother's friend. There is an entire ring of people who made it their business to look out for Camilla and Ben.
So, all is well that ends well, right?
I have decided that I am going to sue my mother for custody of my brother. He doesn't have to go back to her.
Thanks for hearing me out.
Edited to Add: Also, I started asking Camilla about her religious beliefs and she made the comment that "Mom has a predilection for people and groups that are abusive and manipulative. Bryan, what do you think that says about the Church she made us join?"
There is hope out there yet.