Guilt vs. Fear

[Fredl]

Had an interesting experience this morning on my way to church. No, not tscc but Unity, which my wife has agreed to me attending on alternate Sundays.

As I was cruising down the freeway, 5 mph over the speed limit with Fats Waller blaring from my CD Player, the thought occurred to me that this is VERY inappropriate music on the Sabbath. A definite emotional reaction followed this thought, mild, but definitely noticable. Happily, in the next moment rationality kicked in again and the thought occurred to me that I will know that I've made it to Heaven if I wake up after I die and I hear Fats providing the background music, wherever I happen to find myself. Just what in the WORLD is wrong with listening to one of the great musical genuises of the 20th Century Monday, Wednesday, Sunday or any other day of the week? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!!!

Which got me to thinking: What, exactly, WAS the emotion I was feeling?

I believe that if I talked to my Bishop.....well, at this point, former Bishop, he would tell me that I was feeling guilt and the need for repentence.

Which I now believe to be complete BS. What I was feeling was fear, pure and simple, a reaction I learned during the ten years I spent in tscc. As I see it today, the misidentification of fear as guilt is one of the most fundamental ways tscc operates to screw up our thought processes.

Which, hopefully, WILL NOT happen again to me any time soon.

Fred

[hamar]

Had an interesting experience this morning on my way to church. No, not tscc but Unity, which my wife has agreed to me attending on alternate Sundays.

As I was cruising down the freeway, 5 mph over the speed limit with Fats Waller blaring from my CD Player, the thought occurred to me that this is VERY inappropriate music on the Sabbath. A definite emotional reaction followed this thought, mild, but definitely noticable. Happily, in the next moment rationality kicked in again and the thought occurred to me that I will know that I've made it to Heaven if I wake up after I die and I hear Fats providing the background music, wherever I happen to find myself. Just what in the WORLD is wrong with listening to one of the great musical genuises of the 20th Century Monday, Wednesday, Sunday or any other day of the week? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!!!

Which got me to thinking: What, exactly, WAS the emotion I was feeling?

I believe that if I talked to my Bishop.....well, at this point, former Bishop, he would tell me that I was feeling guilt and the need for repentence.

Which I now believe to be complete BS. What I was feeling was fear, pure and simple, a reaction I learned during the ten years I spent in tscc. As I see it today, the misidentification of fear as guilt is one of the most fundamental ways tscc operates to screw up our thought processes.

Which, hopefully, WILL NOT happen again to me any time soon.

Fred

I'm not sure that I'd even call it guilt or fear. Rather it is imprinting that you received from the morg. A feeling of discomfort that remains as a result of the imprinting that was done by the morg during your tenure there. Just a thought.

[Fredl]

Well thanks for the thought, Hammar. I agree with you that imprinting is involved, but that is the cause of the feeling, not the name of the feeling.

To comment just a little further, to me, guilt is the feeling that you get when you know you've done something wrong and repentence is entirely appropriate in that case. Righting the wrong should result. In this case, upon reflection it was my considered opinion that I had wronged no one, I was simply enjoying an entirely innocent pleasure. What was the source of my discomfort? I identified it as fear; fear of having "displeased God" by failing to observe the Sabbath properly. As I think about how I felt, I would name my discomfort as fear. I didn't think I'd done anything wrong; I feared the consequences of going against the tscc.

But, anyway, thanks for the comment.

Fred