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View Full Version : Leaving tscc: Chapter 3


Fredl
2nd November 2005, 09:25 AM
My Hi Priest Quorum Leader asked to talk with me last Sunday when I attended Sacrament Service with my family and yesterday we did. We talked about whether my son would like to home teach with another companion (he's not sure) and at some length about why I am becoming, at best, inactive; at worst, leaving the church. I took him through what I believe and what I don't believe and told him that I'm simply unwilling to continue the effort of trying to reconcile my beliefs with church doctrine.

I thought he was going to cry a couple of times. I told him that I hated to cause him the pain I obviously was causing him, but these were the facts. He told me that what I told him was not what he expected to hear and that he had imagined the problem was with another member.

Bob and I have been friends for awhile and have gone fishing together several times. He told me he very much wanted to continue our personal friendship and wanted to take Mimi (my daughter) fishing again soon. He also asked me whether I'd be willing to talk with the Bishop (I am) and that he'd make an appointment for me.

Nobody can persuade me that there aren't a lot of very nice people in tscc. I told Bob that I wasn't mad at anybody in the church and that I continued to have a lot of respect, even admiration for many of the people I knew in it and for the church itself. It's simply not the right place for me and that I've begun attending another church where the beliefs are more compatable with my own.

I'm pretty much up one day and not-as-up the next. I've been through 4 very traumatic events in my life: two divorces and twice being fired during my 40 year working life. I've been trying to compare how leaving the church compares with these events. I don't think it's quite as acute but, compared with those events, it seems to just go on and on and on. Total cumulative effect seems to be comparable. I can only imagine what it must be like for someone more closely attatched to the church than I was. Ouch!!!

Fred

why me
2nd November 2005, 09:50 AM
You are right Fred, there are a lot of good people in the church and Bob seems to be one of them. I see no reason why the friendship wouldn't last. Much depends on the people involved.

Good luck with your journey fred. I wish you good life experiences in your new church. You certainly have an ineresting life story...how our your children taking your life change? Cheers!

silverfox
2nd November 2005, 09:50 AM
My Hi Priest Quorum Leader asked to talk with me last Sunday when I attended Sacrament Service with my family and yesterday we did. We talked about whether my son would like to home teach with another companion (he's not sure) and at some length about why I am becoming, at best, inactive; at worst, leaving the church. I took him through what I believe and what I don't believe and told him that I'm simply unwilling to continue the effort of trying to reconcile my beliefs with church doctrine.

I thought he was going to cry a couple of times. I told him that I hated to cause him the pain I obviously was causing him, but these were the facts. He told me that what I told him was not what he expected to hear and that he had imagined the problem was with another member.

Bob and I have been friends for awhile and have gone fishing together several times. He told me he very much wanted to continue our personal friendship and wanted to take Mimi (my daughter) fishing again soon. He also asked me whether I'd be willing to talk with the Bishop (I am) and that he'd make an appointment for me.

Nobody can persuade me that there aren't a lot of very nice people in tscc. I told Bob that I wasn't mad at anybody in the church and that I continued to have a lot of respect, even admiration for many of the people I knew in it and for the church itself. It's simply not the right place for me and that I've begun attending another church where the beliefs are more compatable with my own.

I'm pretty much up one day and not-as-up the next. I've been through 4 very traumatic events in my life: two divorces and twice being fired during my 40 year working life. I've been trying to compare how leaving the church compares with these events. I don't think it's quite as acute but, compared with those events, it seems to just go on and on and on. Total cumulative effect seems to be comparable. I can only imagine what it must be like for someone more closely attatched to the church than I was. Ouch!!!

Fred

I agree there are some wonderful very nice members in the church. And sometimes they continue to stay friends with inactive or members leaving the church. But in some cases, not. I hope the friendship endures your beliefs.

Leaving the church is a very emotional process. It's a shock, IMO, to many leaving the church. The emotions, good and bad are so terribly unexpected.

Hang in there.

Fredl
2nd November 2005, 07:13 PM
Hey, thanks for the good wishes, SF and WM. It's good to hear from both of you and recieve your encouragement.

Fred