Hello out There

[cakes]

I've been reading the threads on the site for quite some time and I have to say that I'm quite impressed with the topics and conversations here. I don't think that I'm as educated as most of you out there. However, I am an exmormon and have been for 10 years now. I never knew that there were so many people that got away from mormonism. I really thought I was alone in this because I personally don't know anyone else out of it. I have had a real hard time readjusting to a different way of life outside the mormon faith. I'm doing better than I have in the past, yet I still have the situation of my extended family being fulltime mormons. I have not witnessed to them about the falsness of the cult and my husband has really been on me about this. I'm just not ready to confront my family and be booted totally out of their lives. They are hard core mormons and I know in my heart that it would take an extreme miracle to change their beliefs. I really don't know where to begin in all of this. If there is anyone out there that has been in this situation and can give me some insight on how you handled this I would appreciate it.
I am a Christian and know that it's only through the saving grace of Jesus Christ that we can get to heaven. I don't know if I am aloud to talk about my personal beliefs here, so if I'm out of line , please tell me.
I also would like to know if other topics other than mormonism is disussed here.
I am glad that I'm not alone in this situation and I know that it can be a long road to recovery if your all alone.
Thanks a bunch everone!
cakes

[Born Free]

I've been reading the threads on the site for quite some time and I have to say that I'm quite impressed with the topics and conversations here.

<snip>

I also would like to know if other topics other than mormonism is disussed here.
I am glad that I'm not alone in this situation and I know that it can be a long road to recovery if your all alone.
Thanks a bunch everone!
cakes

Cakes,

A big welcome to Post-Mo. You will find Post-Mos of every persuasion here - from Christians to aethiests, but my observation is that spirituality is a high priority for everyone, but based upon their definition of what is spirituality.

As for topics, just scroll back through all the threads started over time. One good way is to start with the highly rated threads. By going to the head of the page and pressing the Rating title, all threads will be sorted from highest to lowest rating (max 5 star). The Stickies will remain at the top, but scroll down past them, and you will come across the general threads that participants rated highly. You may find that a good place to start given there is so much on here.

Scrolling through that list and selecting the hot topics for your in your Post-Mo existence, might prove useful. When you do find something that presses your buttons, can I suggest that you add your remarks to that thread, rather than starting a new one. That way all the 'collective wisdom' will be marshalled together for all who come after you, and your contributions will be easier to see in context.

I (with Big Eddy) am behind the Stages of Post-Mo thread that is one of the Stickies. Some have found that a helpful template for exploring their own journey out, and make helpful comparisons with others.

Once again, welcome on board, and I hope your stay here is interesting and rewarding. Don't be daunted by the company. A great spirit of co-operative and considerate exchange previals here, and I hope you appreciate that and add to it.

Daryl

[peter_mary]

I've been reading the threads on the site for quite some time and I have to say that I'm quite impressed with the topics and conversations here. I don't think that I'm as educated as most of you out there. However, I am an exmormon and have been for 10 years now. I never knew that there were so many people that got away from mormonism. I really thought I was alone in this because I personally don't know anyone else out of it. I have had a real hard time readjusting to a different way of life outside the mormon faith. I'm doing better than I have in the past, yet I still have the situation of my extended family being fulltime mormons. I have not witnessed to them about the falsness of the cult and my husband has really been on me about this. I'm just not ready to confront my family and be booted totally out of their lives. They are hard core mormons and I know in my heart that it would take an extreme miracle to change their beliefs. I really don't know where to begin in all of this. If there is anyone out there that has been in this situation and can give me some insight on how you handled this I would appreciate it.
I am a Christian and know that it's only through the saving grace of Jesus Christ that we can get to heaven. I don't know if I am aloud to talk about my personal beliefs here, so if I'm out of line , please tell me.
I also would like to know if other topics other than mormonism is disussed here.
I am glad that I'm not alone in this situation and I know that it can be a long road to recovery if your all alone.
Thanks a bunch everone!
cakes
You are among kindred spirits, here. Most of us are caught in that "no-man's land" between our new, non-Mormon selves and our very Mormon families. That's why the support of places like this (and in-person support groups) are so important. They give people a place to talk out their frustrations, air their concerns, receive validation that they are NOT crazy (well, some of us are... :Crazy: ), and celebrate life's little victories.

As Daryl mentioned, we have people of many spiritual persuasions, some Christian, some athiest, some still trying to be Mormon, and all kinds of other flavors, shapes and sizes, and you are welcome to talk about your journey from your perspective all you want. The only rule is, just as is stated at the top of this page in red, talk from the perspective of "This is what I believe." People may disagree...that's okay. But as long as we aren't telling each other that they must ALSO believe what we believe, we're on safe ground. You'll see people here do that frequently...a little disclaimer that simply allows the reader to know that "I believe this, but I honor the fact that you might believe otherwise." Respect keeps us all talking, growing, and benefiting from one another's wisdom. None of us knows it all, and but collectively we know a LOT!

Welcome!

[hamar]

I've been reading the threads on the site for quite some time and I have to say that I'm quite impressed with the topics and conversations here. I don't think that I'm as educated as most of you out there. However, I am an exmormon and have been for 10 years now. I never knew that there were so many people that got away from mormonism. I really thought I was alone in this because I personally don't know anyone else out of it. I have had a real hard time readjusting to a different way of life outside the mormon faith. I'm doing better than I have in the past, yet I still have the situation of my extended family being fulltime mormons. I have not witnessed to them about the falsness of the cult and my husband has really been on me about this. I'm just not ready to confront my family and be booted totally out of their lives. They are hard core mormons and I know in my heart that it would take an extreme miracle to change their beliefs. I really don't know where to begin in all of this. If there is anyone out there that has been in this situation and can give me some insight on how you handled this I would appreciate it.
I am a Christian and know that it's only through the saving grace of Jesus Christ that we can get to heaven. I don't know if I am aloud to talk about my personal beliefs here, so if I'm out of line , please tell me.
I also would like to know if other topics other than mormonism is disussed here.
I am glad that I'm not alone in this situation and I know that it can be a long road to recovery if your all alone.
Thanks a bunch everone!
cakes

Hello yourownself, Cakes; welcome to the neighborhood. Hope to hear more from and about you. No, we aren't all intelligent, there's me, I'm just normal a person who is somewhat intimidated by some here. The nice thing, though, is that I'm not bright enough to keep my mouth shut (fingers still) when I have something to say.

You can do that too, just blurt out what's on yer mind. Might make a few folks cranky some of the time, but it's a good way to learn.

We have a dog that bites sometimes too. :p

[dogzilla]

.

We have a dog that bites sometimes too. :p


Hey, now!


Grrrrrr....



:D

[bobcat]

Hey, I take exception to that! Cats can bite too! :D

And yes, cakes, welcome to our community. I'm a relatively new member, and I can tell you that this it has been a great help to me. Postmormon.org is a great place to find support during your spiritual journey-wherever it leads you.

[megawatts]

I've been reading the threads on the site for quite some time and I have to say that I'm quite impressed with the topics and conversations here. I don't think that I'm as educated as most of you out there. However, I am an exmormon and have been for 10 years now. I never knew that there were so many people that got away from mormonism. I really thought I was alone in this because I personally don't know anyone else out of it. I have had a real hard time readjusting to a different way of life outside the mormon faith. I'm doing better than I have in the past, yet I still have the situation of my extended family being fulltime mormons. I have not witnessed to them about the falsness of the cult and my husband has really been on me about this. I'm just not ready to confront my family and be booted totally out of their lives. They are hard core mormons and I know in my heart that it would take an extreme miracle to change their beliefs. I really don't know where to begin in all of this. If there is anyone out there that has been in this situation and can give me some insight on how you handled this I would appreciate it.
I am a Christian and know that it's only through the saving grace of Jesus Christ that we can get to heaven. I don't know if I am aloud to talk about my personal beliefs here, so if I'm out of line , please tell me.
I also would like to know if other topics other than mormonism is disussed here.
I am glad that I'm not alone in this situation and I know that it can be a long road to recovery if your all alone.
Thanks a bunch everone!
cakes

I too thought I was alone until I found this site! The majority of my family is still in the Mormon church and happy to be there. They are aware that I am not going anymore and when asked I freely tell them I do not believe or agree with the church. I am not going to try and convince them that they need to leave the church also. They are happy there and have no wish to leave. I accept them and expect them to do the same to me. There has been some sadness of me leaving and not raising my children LDS, but because I try to be respectful they have followed suit and it is working out fine. I love my family and would not jeapordize that relationship by preaching to them.

I am new to the site as well cakes and have wondered if I am well read enough to post :) I like the diversity here and the feeling of not being completely alone. It has been a difficult journey, but well worth it.

[peter_mary]

I am new to the site as well cakes and have wondered if I am well read enough to post :) I like the diversity here and the feeling of not being completely alone. It has been a difficult journey, but well worth it. Oh, dear! This worries me! PLEASE don't hesitate to post on this site for fear of not being well read! We all benefit from all the voices weighing in, and oft times there is wisdom in the words of those who have not been tainted by the words of others.

Your experiences, your perceptions, your feelings, all of those are authentic, true and real, and don't require a Ph.D. in Mormonology to talk about. So please, set your worries to the side and just jump in. Comment, engage, ask questions, challenge, have fun, make friends...there are no prerequisites to hanging out here, other than we prefer it if people are nice! :D

[Born Free]

Oh, dear! This worries me! PLEASE don't hesitate to post on this site for fear of not being well read! We all benefit from all the voices weighing in, and oft times there is wisdom in the words of those who have not been tainted by the words of others.

Your experiences, your perceptions, your feelings, all of those are authentic, true and real, and don't require a Ph.D. in Mormonology to talk about. So please, set your worries to the side and just jump in. Comment, engage, ask questions, challenge, have fun, make friends...there are no prerequisites to hanging out here, other than we prefer it if people are nice! :D

In my Post-Mo phase, quality information and alternative philosophies of life and living were/are GOLD.

In the 12 months of so I have been involved here I think about 5 new books have joined my library and many more, my desired list, as a result of reading what others gleaned from them, here. PM and Eddy in particular have fuelled that. (PM, I am loving Karen Armstrong BTW!)

Cakes, can I invite you to consider the possibility that that inadequacy mindset is part of the negative Mo Mindset legacy? There is no infallible interpretation of a book or an idea! There is only the love of learning or the fear of it. And your growth through wrestling with new information, and the corners of your life that new ideas cast light, is what the process is really about. Not right and wrong. Black and white, right and wrong are part of that McMo Worldview. I would safely predict you will come increasing to see and feel comfortable with the idea that life is simply neither black or white.

I am going to start a new thread right after I finish this post, with a link to an interview with a Syrian-born american female psychiatrist who does an interesting critique of Islam. See what it says about fundamentalists attitude towards information and the right to interpret ideas for oneself.

Cakes, if my experience is anything to go by, after a few months involvement here, your thinking will have stretched quite considerably, and you will be the happier for it. I know mine was/is! :eek:

Daryl

[cakes]

Ya know, I'm glad I'm here 'cause I got a lot of happiness and sadness to get out. Nice to know your all out there!!!!!
I'll dig right in by telling you all that the mormon mind set is the most disturbing thing. I was a good mormon, a damn good one at that. I never thought that one religion has the boldness to assume that it can have the power to control human life!!!
Now that I look back at it all I am sooooo glad I am not blinded by it all.
Thanks all for the warm welcome and you'll be hearing from me often. I like a good rumble of words to keep the blood pumping!
Oh, by-the-way, my name is Sara. I used the word cakes because I decorate them!!!
:p

[silverfox]

Hi, Cakes,

Welcome to Post Mo. :)

[Jeff_Ricks]

I too thought I was alone until I found this site! The majority of my family is still in the Mormon church and happy to be there. They are aware that I am not going anymore and when asked I freely tell them I do not believe or agree with the church. I am not going to try and convince them that they need to leave the church also. They are happy there and have no wish to leave. I accept them and expect them to do the same to me. There has been some sadness of me leaving and not raising my children LDS, but because I try to be respectful they have followed suit and it is working out fine. I love my family and would not jeapordize that relationship by preaching to them.

I am new to the site as well cakes and have wondered if I am well read enough to post :) I like the diversity here and the feeling of not being completely alone. It has been a difficult journey, but well worth it."I'm not the only one." I've heard that alot lately. It wasn't too many years ago--four to be exact--that I thought the same thing.

We need to add something to our forum rules or somewhere that says, Please share your story, your thoughts, your troubles, your joys, your life, which is alot more interesting than those who come off as being "well read." This forum and website is primarily for people to come to who thought that they were the only ones. So, post away!

--Jeff

[noodle]

Welcome to Post-Mo, Sara-Cakes (I like that name). Grab a chair and a postum latte and set a spell. :D

mamajama

Hmmm..wonder if anybody ever whipped up a Postum latte? :Puking

[elder_nomo]

.....
I also would like to know if other topics other than mormonism is disussed here.
.....

Hi Cakes - Welcome!
Yes, you'll find a variety of topics posted here... from deep philosophical discussions to silly jokes, and lots in between. Mormonism, being our common link, is, of course, often at the center of what gets talked about, but as the name "post"-mormon implies, many want to move past mormonism and also like to talk about what comes next.

We look forward to hearing more from you.
BTW, thanks for the explanation of the name "Cakes" - maybe some day you can post a picture of one of your works. :)

[peter_mary]

Hmmm..wonder if anybody ever whipped up a Postum latte? :Puking
I did once, but I had to add a pint of Jack Daniels to make it pallatable... :D

[noodle]

I did once, but I had to add a pint of Jack Daniels to make it pallatable... :D

....and darn near ruined the Jack Daniels. Shame on you. :slap:

[lamanite]

Welcome Cakes! I too have been out of the Church for almost a decade and although 2 of my siblings are also no longer practicing Mormons, my leaving the Church is still difficult to talk about with my family. I also haven't stayed in touch with my friends from high school and college due to the complete change in my faith. I have really struggled socially. It is very difficult for a woman my age to make new friends when you don't go to church and you don't have children. Best of luck with everything and know that you have a sort of unofficial "family" here.

Lamanite

[cakes]

Postum-latte! HUM---gonna have to dig way down for the old jar of Postum. I know it's around here somewhere. Let's see, no, it's not behind the Foldger's (the richest kind), nor is it behind the voldka. Well, heavens to mergatriod!!! My aunt gave me a jar a couple of years ago when I didn't have anything hot to drink while I was visiting my gandmother in a nursing home in Idaho. Oh well, maybe i'll use coffee. Do you think it will work?
Hey you guys, thanks for the warm welcome!!!
Lamanite, nice to know your my age. I mean, disco was popular at the age of 17 right?
Oh, by the way, Jack never liked postum anyway!!!!
Take care all, gotta go and make a salad.

[megawatts]

Welcome Cakes! I too have been out of the Church for almost a decade and although 2 of my siblings are also no longer practicing Mormons, my leaving the Church is still difficult to talk about with my family. I also haven't stayed in touch with my friends from high school and college due to the complete change in my faith. I have really struggled socially. It is very difficult for a woman my age to make new friends when you don't go to church and you don't have children. Best of luck with everything and know that you have a sort of unofficial "family" here.

Lamanite

I too struggle socially, it is hard to meet people when you are not socializing at church. I stay home with my kids and it is equally hard to meet others. It is also painful to watch your children ostrasized because they don't go to church with everyone else. I have really enjoyed coming to this site and meeting others who have left the church.

[peter_mary]

I too struggle socially, it is hard to meet people when you are not socializing at church. I stay home with my kids and it is equally hard to meet others. It is also painful to watch your children ostrasized because they don't go to church with everyone else. I have really enjoyed coming to this site and meeting others who have left the church.
And we have really enjoyed having a few new "faces" here at PostMo to visit with! :)

[cakes]

On a more serious note, I too have to struggle socially. I sometimes don't know what to do with myself lately. I remember how active I was and all the time I spent in service for the church.
I will start a new thread soon about me. I think that it might take most of the computer to do so!!!
Anyway, I want you guys to know that I grateful that I somewhere to go now to talk with others that know where i've been.
Take care all,
cakes

[peter_mary]

On a more serious note, I too have to struggle socially. I sometimes don't know what to do with myself lately. I remember how active I was and all the time I spent in service for the church.
I will start a new thread soon about me. I think that it might take most of the computer to do so!!!
Anyway, I want you guys to know that I grateful that I somewhere to go now to talk with others that know where i've been.
Take care all,
cakes
When you are raised in the Church, it's common to find that your social networks are defined for you. Whoever is in your ward is defined for you. Who you serve with in various callings is defined for you. Who visit teaches you, and who you visit teach is defined for you. Your visiting teaching companion is defined for you. Which class your child attends, which class you attend, what you do, who you do it with...until you find that you almost don't know how to have first order relationships with ANYONE...all your relationships are in the context of church. Everyone you know, you only know in terms of their calling, where they served a mission, where their kids are serving, which ward they belong to, whether they were married in the temple, and you only get to know that while you sit across the table at Homemaking or the Ward Christmas party, or during a Cub Pack Committe meeting (with the requisite chocolate chip cookies.)

No WONDER we struggle socially when we leave.

This is why, in my opinion, it is CRITICAL that we find each other...this is a great place to start. But to REALLY begin the journey of redefining, it's essential to meet people, real people whose face doesn't look like this ---> :eek:

If you live somewhere with an active support group...go. If not, start making connections with people in your area, and get together to talk. We periodically have families over to our house, or we go to their's and we just talk (after dinner, of course, and ALWAYS with coffee...one of the perks :D ). Sometimes we all read the same book and then talk about it, sometimes we have a structured conversation about a specific topic or set of questions, sometimes we do projective exercises ("everyone bring their FAVORITE song and we'll listen and then talk about why that's your favorite"), and sometimes we just talk about our kids and grandparents who are having a hard time with our decision to think and be happy. But the SUPPORT is essential

Hope you find it here, and hope you find it with people in your area, too!