Dear Elder

[lynsie]

The following is a quote from my little missionary bro's last letter. Can anyone put their finger on exactly what it is that I find so annoying about it? I'm finding it hard to write to him, as most of his letters make my stomach churn a little. Any advice on maintaining relationships with those TBM siblings?

"We're going to the temple next week! I'm quite excited about it. The whole mission is. I still find it wonderful that people are more excited to go to the temple than hear from an Apostle. Yes, it will be a great experience listening to Elder Nelson, but how much greater it is to be in the House of the Lord. I'm coming to appreciate it more. "

[evil_monkey]

Any advice on maintaining relationships with those TBM siblings?

"We're going to the temple next week! I'm quite excited about it. The whole mission is. I still find it wonderful that people are more excited to go to the temple than hear from an Apostle. Yes, it will be a great experience listening to Elder Nelson, but how much greater it is to be in the House of the Lord. I'm coming to appreciate it more. "

::smiles and chuckles
The life of a missionary! It is annoying (and funny) to me because I was that same way on a mission. The mindset is so out of touch with what others out side of the ordeal live with everyday, it is literally brainwashing. His reality is nowhere near where yours is.

We had the chance to attend temple sessions every month, and I swear to you, I truly believed that I could have one on one conversations with god and Jesus (but I'm feeling much better now!! :Crazy: )

As for getting along with a TBM sibling. I have an older brother who is an exMo and while on my mission he wrote me one or two letters and it hurt my feelings, but I understand now how hard it must have been for him to try and communicate with me, our views of reality were so far apart. The best you can do, I think, is to give him space, like my brother did for me. He didn't modify his behavior around me to try and not offend me like the rest of my family did, but he didn't push against me either.

Namaste

[peter_mary]

The following is a quote from my little missionary bro's last letter. Can anyone put their finger on exactly what it is that I find so annoying about it? I'm finding it hard to write to him, as most of his letters make my stomach churn a little. Any advice on maintaining relationships with those TBM siblings?

"We're going to the temple next week! I'm quite excited about it. The whole mission is. I still find it wonderful that people are more excited to go to the temple than hear from an Apostle. Yes, it will be a great experience listening to Elder Nelson, but how much greater it is to be in the House of the Lord. I'm coming to appreciate it more. "
I'm not sure what was most bothersome to you, but for me, there are a couple of things in this statement that make me :rolleyes: First, there is the obvious "idolotry" being exhibited, with an idolotrous hierarchy. Temple first (The "Big House O' God 'n Stuff"), Apostles second, everyone else...WAY down on the list. If I knew that going to the temple or sitting in the presence of an Apostle actually meant sitting in closer communion with the powers of the Universe, then I could understand his enthusiasm, but the truth is, both of these experiences will be about validation as a Mormon and nothing more.

What I mean by that is, when you get to go to the temple, you take your place in the highest halls of Mormondom. You share the secrets, the handshakes, the stupid underwear...you are an INSIDER. The more you go, the more it becomes a part of you. And sitting in the pressence of an Apostle is a) celebrity worship (not much different than say, Jennifer Aniston, but not so nice to look at ;) ) and b) helps a member feel all that much more important. "I got to shake the hand of Russel M. Nelson, and you only get to do that if you are in the inner sanctum of Mormonism."

The end result is a strengthening of the grip of the cult on your brother, and further estranges his relationship with you.

I don't know how aware he is of your exodus from activity, but assuming he knows...then this was an example of the cluelessness with which Mormons interact with everyone else. He would be celebrating HIS ability to be "celestialified" (I LOVE makin' up words), and at the same time, rubbing your nose in the choice you've made to be "terrestrialified." Kind of a "neener-neener, I'm in and your not..."

Little brothers...they never cease to bug you... :)

[Jeff_Ricks]

The best you can do, I think, is to give him space, like my brother did for me. He didn't modify his behavior around me to try and not offend me like the rest of my family did, but he didn't push against me either.

NamasteI think this is excellent advice - for me too. I think my splintered family could get along quite well as a family if everyone would except each other's differences and quit trying to drop hints here and there that are designed to get the other to accept their choices (myself included). My family used to be some of my best friends. Sad to say, now I hardly know the Mormon side of my siblings anymore.

Jeff

[silverfox]

The following is a quote from my little missionary bro's last letter. Can anyone put their finger on exactly what it is that I find so annoying about it? I'm finding it hard to write to him, as most of his letters make my stomach churn a little. Any advice on maintaining relationships with those TBM siblings?

"We're going to the temple next week! I'm quite excited about it. The whole mission is. I still find it wonderful that people are more excited to go to the temple than hear from an Apostle. Yes, it will be a great experience listening to Elder Nelson, but how much greater it is to be in the House of the Lord. I'm coming to appreciate it more. "

Sometimes it almost appears as if members are trying to talk themselves into feeling like they think they should. Many of us have been there. I remember being as excited as your bro is (only I didn't serve a mission). Many of us postmos tried to say what we felt we expected to say.

When you write him back, my advice is to focus on things that matter to you both. Family, friends, movies, food, activities, sports, etc...whatever you have in common, take it and build on it. I've learned that I don't have to get caught up in Mo talk. I can take the conversation where I want/need it to go. Yes, it's hard sometimes especially when there are annoying Mo comments I am just itching to respond to.

No need to mention church stuff in your letters or validate his Mo comments. Talk about yourself, your activities, your joys, etc. It will allow him to get to know YOU. He will get plenty of letters from Mo family and friends to encourage him with his mission expectations/responsibilites. I am sure he will find it secretly refreshing to get a letter that is about something else.

[lynsie]

Thanks you guys. Good advice. It will help me get perspective when I sit down to write him. So far I have just been sending stuff...candy, scarves I knit etc. It's much easier to send a thing than to try and communicate with him in his current state (moderately zombified), but I want to make the effort to connect so he is not a complete stranger in a year and a half. Also, it is nice to have someone else say 'no, you're not crazy, that's assanine'.

[lynsie]

Here's another quote from my little bro's correspondence. Once again I'm perplexed as to where to start. At certain points he is being sarcastic but at other's horrifyingly serious...

My district leader called me today and informed me that side parts are no longer required! This apparently doesn't come from President F, but from the Church. There's this mysterious new white handbook that the Church has been putting together for a while now and rumor has it in printing currently. Apparently President and Sister F were given copies of the new handbook when they came out and the change comes from that. We still need to have short, professional haircuts, but not necessarily a side part. That's crazy to me, such freedom. What will missionaries do with it? This is kind of a dumb example, but it seems to go along with the general philosophy of missions now. Elder Ballard's talk on raising the bar was really much bigger a deal than I originally thought. It was imperative that the Church raise the bar on the caliber of missionaries it allowed into the field. Because they've done this it allows them to trust the missionaries more and they can introduce things like Preach My Gospel. Things like this side part business seem to me to be part of that change from a law of Moses mentality to one of more trust and responsibility. Tell any upcoming missionaries that missions are not the same thing they learned about in Primary. They're much cooler now.

[helemon]

Tell any upcoming missionaries that missions are not the same thing they learned about in Primary. They're much cooler now.

Is he serious? Mandatory side parts? Next he will be saying that the hair must be parted on the right side of the scalp and that elders must only use church approved hair gel, no mousse or hairspray.:duh

[lynsie]

Is he serious? Mandatory side parts? Next he will be saying that the hair must be parted on the right side of the scalp and that elders must only use church approved hair gel, no mousse or hairspray.:duh

Unfortunately he is dead serious. I don't know if all missions enforce it but there is/was a side part rule. I'm only aware because my bro-in-law has hair that grows straight out like a fro. He had to use gel the consistency of Elmer's glue to make a part out of it. Aren't mission's COOL?:duh

[helemon]

Unfortunately he is dead serious. I don't know if all missions enforce it but there is/was a side part rule. I'm only aware because my bro-in-law has hair that grows straight out like a fro. He had to use gel the consistency of Elmer's glue to make a part out of it. Aren't mission's COOL?:duh
Flip! Fetchin Jesus is breaking mission rules!!! :eek:
http://www.religionfacts.com/jesus/images/mormon-jesus-by-del-parson.jpg
http://www.religionfacts.com/jesus/images/mormon-jesus-by-del-parson.jpg

Joseph is doubly righteous for having TWO side parts!!!
http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/religion/joseph-smith/joseph_smith_shrunk.jpg
http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/religion/joseph-smith/joseph_smith_shrunk.jpg

[noodle]

Unfortunately he is dead serious. I don't know if all missions enforce it but there is/was a side part rule. I'm only aware because my bro-in-law has hair that grows straight out like a fro. He had to use gel the consistency of Elmer's glue to make a part out of it. Aren't mission's COOL?:duh

The side part rule is for real. When my son got his "dress orders," there were instructions to wear his hair with a part. I couldn't believe it! I thought, yup, this in a "worldwide" church still run mostly by white old men from Utah. My son has thick wavy coarse hair which looks really stupid when parted.

mamajama

[bobcat]

I'm proud to say I never wore a part in my mission. It wasn't required by my Pres. Surprising, since on everything else he went above and beyond the "call of duty". Perhaps he saw the stupidity in the part rule, becuase many of the native Brazillian missionaries have hair that sits in very tight curls, and cannot be parted even by the most righteous barber. Or maybe my pres was apostate... hmmm :p

[peter_mary]

Is he serious? Mandatory side parts? Next he will be saying that the hair must be parted on the right side of the scalp and that elders must only use church approved hair gel, no mousse or hairspray.:duh
Right side of the scalp for the elders, left side for the sisters. That way, when God turns to his right hand, he can't see the part in the Elders' hair, and when he turns to the left, he can't see the part in the Sisters' hair. Very important, you know. A lot of people just don't really understand the significance of proper grooming in the Kingdom of Heaven.

And now you understand why for so long it was simply not possible for anyone with African blood to make it to the Celestial Kingdom...it wasn't possible to part that knappy hair until recent innovations that allow black people (like Condoleeze Rice) to straighten their hair and thus work in the all-important side part. She should TOTALLY join the Church now...
:rolleyes:

[trish08830]

This is from a missionary serving in the Ukraine:

As a mission we are striving to "Fight for a temple." Meaning, the land of Ukraine needs a temple, so as missionaries we are finding and teaching men, women and children to make a stake and be worthy of the temple. I am so privileged to be here and striving towards this! At zone conference we were also given little matrooshka key chain dolls to remember our purpose. To hold in our hand while tracting to think of our future spouse and what we are fighting for. We were told the harder we work, the better looking our husband will be... So when the AP's gave us the doll, us sisters got men dolls and Elder B said find a hot husband to marry in the temple.

Do they just make this stuff up as they go?

[nate]

Do they just make this stuff up as they go?

Yes! :Crazy:

[elder_nomo]

This is from a missionary serving in the Ukraine:

As a mission we are striving to "Fight for a temple." Meaning, the land of Ukraine needs a temple, so as missionaries we are finding and teaching men, women and children to make a stake and be worthy of the temple. I am so privileged to be here and striving towards this! At zone conference we were also given little matrooshka key chain dolls to remember our purpose. To hold in our hand while tracting to think of our future spouse and what we are fighting for. We were told the harder we work, the better looking our husband will be... So when the AP's gave us the doll, us sisters got men dolls and Elder B said find a hot husband to marry in the temple.

Do they just make this stuff up as they go?
OK, Putting aside the bizzarro "hot husband" good luck charms for a moment...

This was the same attitude that made me crazy on my mission. I mean... "Ukraine needs a temple" so let's go find enough people to "make a stake" and build a temple and fill it up.

It's so backwards!

Wouldn't the one-and-only-true-church-of-god approach it the other way around? Like, "the PEOPLE of Ukraine need the GOSPEL" so let's go find them. And after we've found them THEY will need a temple, etc, etc, etc.

I suppose TBMs would say they mean the same thing, but to me that emphasis on numbers and buildings instead of people is so typically mormon, and not very attractive.

Now, as for those "hot husband" good luck charm dolls... can they be purchased in the US??
JK... already got one! ;)

[dogzilla]

JK... already got one! ;)

A hot husband, or a hot-husband-good-luck-charm-doll? ;)

[helemon]

This is from a missionary serving in the Ukraine:

As a mission we are striving to "Fight for a temple." Meaning, the land of Ukraine needs a temple, so as missionaries we are finding and teaching men, women and children to make a stake and be worthy of the temple. I am so privileged to be here and striving towards this!

I bet the church could get some cheap land near Chernobyl! The temple would be sure to have that special glow and members would be guaranteed to feel a burning in their bosom as well as other places.:eek:

At zone conference we were also given little matrooshka key chain dolls to remember our purpose. To hold in our hand while tracting to think of our future spouse and what we are fighting for. We were told the harder we work, the better looking our husband will be... So when the AP's gave us the doll, us sisters got men dolls and Elder B said find a hot husband to marry in the temple.


And just like the perfect Mormon wife when you open up the Matrooshka doll inside you will find a large Mormon family. :duh The National Geographic issue that talked about Native American DNA also had an article on Ukraine and how times are so desparate many young girls are entering the sex trade. It probably wouldn't be too hard to find a girl willing to marry these guys if she thought it might get her to America. My brothers said this was common in So. America.

Perhaps the missionaries should take a page from playelder:
http://www.salamandersociety.com/playelder/
PLAYELDER MAGAZINE PRESENTS: Elders of the Macon Zone

So now that I was Playelder, we were now faced with the task of figuring out exactly how a Playelder poses. Thinking back, I seem to remember those J.C. Penney ads with all those guys standing around in their underwear, seemingly convinced that there was absolutely nothing wrong at all whatsoever.

"Hey, it's cool! Just chillin wit my homies in our underwear, dude."

There was always the guy with his thumb and forefinger on his chin, with one eyebrow slightly arched. Another one stood beside him with one hand on his hip, body turned slightly inward, and the other hand on the 1st guy's shoulder.

Working from this, as Playelder I did go down and do a lot of door knocking in order to work on my routine.
The large porches of southern architecture lended themselves as the perfect runway for our routine of poses. It was spacious, yet intimate. Innocent, yet wildly seductive.

My partner and I will give you a door approach that you will never forget, dear sister…

And behold, it came to pass…


Playelder strode boldly onto her porch and into her life. He rang the doorbell with a strong sense of Melchizedek machismo and went into his portion of the routine, starting out with the tried and true cocking of the head, while looking at her slightly from the corners of his half closed eyes.

Excellent move, Playelder!

Now he goes on to the thumb hooked in the pocket move, with right arm bent at the elbow, hand extended palm upward and slightly opened. WOW! Playelder goes directly into the "invitation gesture"!!!!

Take a step back, Playelder, you’re coming on a bit too strong.

Atta boy, Playelder.

Whoah! What's this? Playelder is going into his "setup for the takeover move". Brilliant strategy, Playelder, brilliant!

With one hand on his partner’s shoulder, Playelder swings his head from her to him, turning his body slightly inward, and the takeover is complete!

That transition was executed impeccably! What's this? His partner opens up with "the flexed bicep while running his hand through his hair" move! Brothers and sisters, we are witnessing perfection here!

His partner now shifts his hand, no, wait..........BOTH HANDS!!!

His partner shifts BOTH HANDS to the thumbs hooked in the pocket move with fingers alongside his zipper area! He's drawing subliminal attention to his "priesthood accessories!
Work it, elder, work it!

Why hasn't she asked them in yet? Lady, are you BLIND?


You may be losing her, elder! Thinking fast, Playelder moves in for some backup. What's this? I DON'T BELIEVE IT! Playelder drops his Book Of Mormon, then BENDS OVER to pick it up!!! Now THAT was a catmove! You go, Playelder!

BAM! They're in and she has no idea what hit her! Excellent routine, elders, excellent routine! Now it's on to the verbal part of the routine, brothers and sisters. Let's listen in:


"As we share our message with you, you will experience 'special feelings.' This is God's way of telling you that what you hear from us is right and true. They are good feelings. Let them sweep you away, and you will experience sensations with us that are unlike any that you have ever experienced before.

The Holy Spirit will mingle with my spirit and with your spirit, and we shall feel it together as it bares witness unto us. As you feel the spirit enter into you, do you feel your bosom burn? Yes, your bosom burns for my message. It desires my message. My bosom burns, too. We are sharing this together. Sharing this holy knowledge. You know it to be true. We both do, for we have partaken of this burning together, you and I.

This burning we feel within ourselves has brought us closer together. Closer in a way you have never felt before, and you do not want it to end. Ever. We burn as one in the presence of The Lord. I can bring this to a climax. I have special powers that enable me to do so.

I will lay my hands upon you, and you will feel the power from my hands flow through you, burning within you ever so much more. It can be a gift of burning that will never leave you, forever serving as a reminder of this deeply felt experience between you and I.

I will lay you down upon your back. Down upon your back in the holy waters of baptism. I will submerse you with love. A pure and holy love that knows no bounds. It shall fill our souls forever if we but chose to partake, you and I. It is the love of our savior. You and I shall be as one in our love for the savior.

Will you come with me? We will consummate our union. Come with me and I will bring you eternal joy and happiness."

And it's another baptism for Playelder!

Another member for the Relief Society!

[elder_nomo]

A hot husband, or a hot-husband-good-luck-charm-doll? ;)
Hot husband, and he IS a doll...
charming too! :D

[trish08830]

"This week a miracle happened! The members helped us with missionary work! 2 different members gave us names of interested ladies. The first one was interested because the church member resurrected her dog. Yes, you read that right. The dog died, and the member came and prayed 4 times over the body. I mean, wouldn't you be interested in a church that resurrects dogs...

We have a golden investigaor, 15 year old _____. The first time she came to church 1 month ago, she knew it was true. We have taught the 1st lesson, and she wants to get baptized. We are visiting her mother for the first time this week, but her mother is against the church, and won't give her permission to attend church or get bapitzed. So at night, in your prayers for me, please bless investigators, and people to soften their hearts. It is weird that _____'s mom still thinks the church is evil. People are scared."

I was baptized when I was 17, and I just think it's wrong that the church goes after young, vulnerable people. I'm glad this mom has a brain.

[nate]

The dog died, and the member came and prayed 4 times over the body. I mean, wouldn't you be interested in a church that resurrects dogs...

Yeah? When is it gonna resurrect ol' Joe then? :D