Do we create a (recovery) trap for ourselves?

[Born Free]

Following are extracts from a paper on Bob McCues site dated October 2005.

He raises several points that I personally found very interesting, and felt many here might like to kick around.

In particular, he quotes the experience of Dr. David Lukoff whose work would suggest that in overlooking the use of the right hemisphere of the brain in the recovery process, we may do ourselves a great disservice.

I thoroughly recommend the entire paper and would be interested if anyone here has had experience like Bob discusses.

Art Therapy for Recovering Mormons
to be found towards the bottom of the page at:

http://mccue.cc/bob/new.htm

The DSM IV is the mental health community’s official diagnostic symptoms standard.

Page 3

A disruption one's personal mythology related to religion can cause a form of mental dysfunction that is dealt with by the DSM - IV. For example, if my personal mythology is derived from Mormonism, I likely perceive myself as doing god’s work here on earth and making many sacrifices in order to do so, and in exchange I am earning wonderful blessings that will mostly come to me and my family after death in the Celestial Kingdom. I perceive the world as dominated by unseen forces of good and evil that are locked in an eternal struggle, and through my action or inaction, good or sinful acts, etc. I can either harness the forces of good through my priesthood and literally subject nature to my will (as long as it is consistent with God’s will), or alternatively if I am not righteous I may fall under the influence of evil forces that can harm and deceive me in many ways. If the beliefs that underpin this belief system are shattered, I should be expected to feel somewhere between disoriented and suicidal. The DSM – IV provides the tools necessary for a psychiatrist to assess the degree of mental dysfunction the kind of trauma I just described has caused in a particular individual. And I note that this is only one of several kinds of spiritual problem that the DSM – IV identifies.


Page 5

Dr. David Lukoff (see http://www.virtualcs.com/blackboard/lessons/lesson7.html and http://www.spiritualcompetency.com/jhpseart.html) describes the recovery process with regard to a spiritual trauma such as what should be expected to result from leaving Mormonism. He says that this kind of recovery requires that we learn to “retell” our personal mythology. That is, either the old personal mythology of Mormonism needs to be stretched to become believable and hence workable again, or an entirely new mythology must be developed that will ground and give meaning to the individual. Lukoff suggests that in order to do this, a lot of self expression (talk therapy) is required. Ideally, a therapist who understands the process would be found and a lot of time would be spent allowing the patient to tell the old narrative, explain why it does not work, talk about hopes, dreams and fears, talk about new sources of information that are being ingested as the therapy proceeds, and from all of this reading, talking, thinking, etc. a new personal mythology will eventually emerge, and as time passes, will stabilize. Here is how Lukoff puts it in part: “Psychotherapy can be seen as a process of helping clients construct a new narrative, a fresh story of their lives. In this narrative understanding, psychotherapy does not consist in the cathartic healing effect of releasing traumatic repressed events and their emotions, but in reconstructing a person's authentic story. In making interpretations, the therapist retells the patient's stories, and these retellings progressively influence [the] what and how of the stories told by patient. The end product of this interweaving of texts is a radically new, jointly authored story. Or as Hillman describes it, the client comes to therapy to be "restoryed": ‘The patient is in search of a new story, or of reconnecting with her old one. . . .The story needed to be doctored, not her.’ (pp. 17-18).”

Pages 5 & 6

Do We Need Therapists?

Many reading this will realize that bulletin boards like those at Recovery from Mormonism (see http://www.exmormon.org/boards/w-agora/w-agora.php3?site=exmobb&bn=exmobb_recovery), and The View from the Foyer (see http://www.aimoo.com/forum/freeboard.cfm?id=418550) perform the role of a therapist, to an extent. I did not go to a therapist, and in fact, the idea that I might do so did not cross my mind. Were I leaving Mormonism now, however, I think I would see if I could find a therapist with experience in a related field and buy some of his or her time. I can see how an experienced therapist with regard to the phenomena described by the DSM – IV could be profoundly helpful, and particularly so during the stage described below when many of us tend to obsess over the details of what went wrong with Mormonism at a time when the therapeutic advice suggests that we disengage from wrestling with our past for a time and focus on developing our creative potential and ability to see things more as they really are that comes with this. I don’t believe that many people will be capable of doing this without significant support. And I did not realize how much research has been done in this field. The links about point to a number of books that indicate the depth of clinical and theoretical experience that has been developed.

Since I did not realize that therapy was either available or advisable, I simply spent a ton of time at Recovery from Mormonism and The Foyer and elsewhere reading, writing, thinking, etc. while also reading books, sending emails and speaking with people I trusted. Out of this my personal

- 6 -
CAL_LAW\ 1168037\5
mythology gradually emerged. But while thrashing around during the process, I would say with the benefit of hindsight that I put unnecessary pressure on a number of important relationships, and may have damaged some of them in ways that are not repairable. Hence, for those who can seek therapy, I think it is advisable. Since I am not in the business of selling therapy, this advice perhaps can bear more weight than it would from a therapist.

I am not as yet convinced that extensive therapy is essential to 'restory', but the basic principle holds much appeal for me. I know of (and use in another crisis setting) several tools & techniques that enable this process, a large part of which can be done my a person by themselves. That said, I am increasingly coming to the view that some form of supportive process would be beneficial and expedite a person's recovery process, and as Bob said, limit the risk of abusing other support relationships.

Daryl

[Born Free]

I got no takers on this issue, which for me is one of the most exciting new notions of the last 6 months.

I also believe that it is central to much of the split between the religious and the post-religious - this whole critical area of defining 'spirituality' - the search for meaning; and being able to talk of that in a way that builds bridges.

Did I frame up the question badly, or did folks feel it was too high brow?

Feedback please?

[lunaverse]

Hi Daryl..

My brain cells are spread thinner than the butter on a miser's toast, due to overwork.

Uh, I'd say, looks good? I've read some of Bob McCue's stuff in the past and found it insightful. I'm currently in therapy with a guy who was once in a cult himself, but isn't "just" an exit counselor. I think it will be a good fit (we just got started, three sessions in), because he has the awareness of cults, but also is a regular therapist, cognative behavior therapy, some Jungian and dream stuff, and some other therapies I haven't read much about before.

I would disagree with Bob in that for some people, therapy isn't primarily helpful during the developing-a-new-mythology phase, as, like Bob, I did that just fine on my own and in my case without harming relationships (those relationships harmed themselves). For me the therapy became helpful after I'd done years of self-help work, and hit those darkest, most unbudging boulders at the bottom of the sea of my subconscious. Most of those rocks at this time seem to be Mormon-related.

So I'd say the need for exit counseling or therapy, and the best time for such, greatly depends on the person, the circumstances, how much and the sort of trauma and programming experienced both in the Church, in the Church-family, and unrelated, etc.

Uh, there is a slight disconnect as your thesis seemed to be the use of the right-hemi (i.e. art and imagry and realism) in post-mormon recovery, but the excerpts didn't seem to allude much to that idea.

Going with that idea, dream therapy could be said to be excercising the right-brain's opinion. Although of late, I've been blurring the lines between the right-left paradigm, and the conscious/subconscious paradigm. I think perhaps we (society and thinkers along these lines) relegate too much of the "subconscious" to the "Right-brain", when in fact, the subconscious seems to be located in lower regions than the hemispheres themselves... I think it is more correct to think of conscious imagery as right, conscious word-thought (and other abstract thoughts) as left, and un-conscious as subconscious. But I haven't really researched deeply enough to flesh that out.

Either way, dreams, even though they seem to be more the realm of the subconscious, usually manifest in right-brain symbology. i.e. the right-brain seems to hold the keys to the subconscious language of non-concrete symbols and images an experiential memory. The words in dreams are few and far between.

Luna

[Born Free]

Hi Daryl..

My brain cells are spread thinner than the butter on a miser's toast, due to overwork.

Uh, I'd say, looks good? I've read some of Bob McCue's stuff in the past and found it insightful. I'm currently in therapy with a guy who was once in a cult himself, but isn't "just" an exit counselor. I think it will be a good fit (we just got started, three sessions in), because he has the awareness of cults, but also is a regular therapist, cognative behavior therapy, some Jungian and dream stuff, and some other therapies I haven't read much about before.

I would disagree with Bob in that for some people, therapy isn't primarily helpful during the developing-a-new-mythology phase, as, like Bob, I did that just fine on my own and in my case without harming relationships (those relationships harmed themselves). For me the therapy became helpful after I'd done years of self-help work, and hit those darkest, most unbudging boulders at the bottom of the sea of my subconscious. Most of those rocks at this time seem to be Mormon-related.

So I'd say the need for exit counseling or therapy, and the best time for such, greatly depends on the person, the circumstances, how much and the sort of trauma and programming experienced both in the Church, in the Church-family, and unrelated, etc.

Uh, there is a slight disconnect as your thesis seemed to be the use of the right-hemi (i.e. art and imagry and realism) in post-mormon recovery, but the excerpts didn't seem to allude much to that idea.

Going with that idea, dream therapy could be said to be excercising the right-brain's opinion. Although of late, I've been blurring the lines between the right-left paradigm, and the conscious/subconscious paradigm. I think perhaps we (society and thinkers along these lines) relegate too much of the "subconscious" to the "Right-brain", when in fact, the subconscious seems to be located in lower regions than the hemispheres themselves... I think it is more correct to think of conscious imagery as right, conscious word-thought (and other abstract thoughts) as left, and un-conscious as subconscious. But I haven't really researched deeply enough to flesh that out.

Either way, dreams, even though they seem to be more the realm of the subconscious, usually manifest in right-brain symbology. i.e. the right-brain seems to hold the keys to the subconscious language of non-concrete symbols and images an experiential memory. The words in dreams are few and far between.

Luna

Simon Southerton said that all his wrestling with the Church, its 'truthfullness' and the issues raised by DNA, were all settled one night in a dream, and he awoke completely settled that it was wrong and he had to leave.

I will go back and check the right brain stuff I clearly passed over, but as I recall that takes about the last half of the paper.

Daryl

PS: I just got an email back from Bob today, and he is keen to work with us after the summer. I will PM you. Better still can you PM me your email address?your

[nate]

I got no takers on this issue, which for me is one of the most exciting new notions of the last 6 months.

I also believe that it is central to much of the split between the religious and the post-religious - this whole critical area of defining 'spirituality' - the search for meaning; and being able to talk of that in a way that builds bridges.

Did I frame up the question badly, or did folks feel it was too high brow?

Feedback please?

Daryl, This post is one that I've been interested in most, since you posted it. Due to that very deep interest, I want to devote the time necessary to fully explore it. However, before my full response, I can tell you, as an artist, that I gave credence to this almost instantly. I can personally attest to how art and the right brain have helped me to cope with my exit. However, I always thought that it was so because of my passion and leanings toward art; never thought it'd apply to anyone else.

I AM exploring the links you posted, and this IS a very exciting post for me.

Nate

[nate]

Daryl, This post is one that I've been interested in most, since you posted it. Due to that very deep interest, I want to devote the time necessary to fully explore it. However, before my full response, I can tell you, as an artist, that I gave credence to this almost instantly. I can personally attest to how art and the right brain have helped me to cope with my exit. However, I always thought that it was so because of my passion and leanings toward art; never thought it'd apply to anyone else.

I AM exploring the links you posted, and this IS a very exciting post for me.

Nate

Maybe someday I'll even get the courage up to post some of this "creative therapy".

Maybe.

[Born Free]

Daryl, This post is one that I've been interested in most, since you posted it. Due to that very deep interest, I want to devote the time necessary to fully explore it. However, before my full response, I can tell you, as an artist, that I gave credence to this almost instantly. I can personally attest to how art and the right brain have helped me to cope with my exit. However, I always thought that it was so because of my passion and leanings toward art; never thought it'd apply to anyone else.

I AM exploring the links you posted, and this IS a very exciting post for me.

Nate
Nate,

I couldn't be more thrilled to hear you arrive at that realisation. Personally, I'd love to see some of your work, adn hear more of how that process felt for you.

Daryl

[nate]

Nate,

I couldn't be more thrilled to hear you arrive at that realisation. Personally, I'd love to see some of your work, adn hear more of how that process felt for you.

Daryl

Ok, don't have time to go into detail right now, but here is some of my work:

http://tinyurl.com/hzgq4

Nate

[lunaverse]

Ok, don't have time to go into detail right now, but here is some of my work:

http://tinyurl.com/hzgq4


Dude, OMFG, too cool!!! :D :D :D I like the purple square spiral one the best.

Here's my stuff:

http://www.lunafisk.com

[nate]

Dude, OMFG, too cool!!! :D :D :D I like the purple square spiral one the best.

Here's my stuff:

http://www.lunafisk.com

That stuff is GREAT! Bande-Ade Bear is my favorite. I love it.

Too bad, the purple spiral was a commission, so no longer have it.

Nate

[peter_mary]

That stuff is GREAT! Bande-Ade Bear is my favorite. I love it.

Nate
I agree...Bande-Aid Bear was the BEST!

[nate]

Nate,

I couldn't be more thrilled to hear you arrive at that realisation. Personally, I'd love to see some of your work, adn hear more of how that process felt for you.

Daryl


Ok, here I go.

I read through McCue's paper on Art Therapy for Recovering Mormons and was very surprised to learn of his surprise regarding the process of turning off the left brain and "letting go" while performing his creative excersises in France, and after. If anything the paper has forced me to realize how much of my own life and daily creative process I have taken for granted, and I'm very thankful that this paper helped me see that.

Being an artist, it is extremely easy to become self-conscious, as the work is a physical expression of what's going on inside the mind, on display for everyone to see, judge and critique. Many artists, myself included, have an innate fear of the level of openness and self expression that is required to create, so we are all too familiar with the process of getting past the frequently overwhelming left brain chatter in order to be able to actually work. It is almost a daily process.

An interesting book that goes further into the fear and self-consciousness involved in letting go and being creative is "Art & Fear" by David Bayles, Ted Orland.

Bob descibes this process as shutting off the left brain. I have always referred to it as dissociating. I thought that it was dissociation from reality that allowed me to completely zone out and create, but it is probably more accurate to say it is dissociating from the left brain and letting the right take over and feel it rather than think it. However, this process is well known to me, and I have found many things that help it out, at least for me.

I do graphic design for a living, which really is simply problem solving. I solve the company's problem of not being able to properly identity with their target audience, and therefore, they have no idea how to make the product enticing to that audience. Now, I start the day with the problem. I have a slew of messages the company wants to say, I have an arsenal of images and illustrations, I have thousands of typefaces and colors, and I have a blank page.

Ok, now what? What do I do with it? Where the hell should I start?

If I sit and stare at the blank page, and try to think of which puzzle pieces to use, and how to put them together, I will end up sitting in front of that page all day long, accomplishing nothing; just as Bob could not paint the bridge by thinking about what he was seeing and trying to recreate it. He had to feel it.

Instead, I need to do whatever is necessary to put myself into the shoes of the target customer. So I start to think, what they will be doing when they see this piece? What will they be thinking at the time? What will attract them? Intrigue them? I start asking myself these questions, but not too deeply. As I think of this I pull up websites that the target audience might visit. I put on my headphones and blast the music. I pull up stock photo sites and browse. Pictures, more pictures, dun dun dun, music, pictures, color, music.

Eventually the problem goes away, as I focus on the music and the pictures. Next to go is the music; it is there simply to get me started and from then on to do nothing more than provide white noise to avoid distractions. Then all that's left is the images. The people in the images. I zone out and begin to think like the customer, until something grabs my attention. One piece of the puzzle down. Put it in a pile and continue. Each subsequent piece feeds off the last, until I have a virtual pile of choice puzzle pieces, and with just a little bit of rearranging, the pile quickly becomes a completed piece.

Many times I get so involved in this process that I work straight through meals, zone out entire conversations, and sometimes even work all day with my headphones on only to realize at the end of the day that I never hit the play button. But I heard music. And when the work is done, it is exhilirating; yes, much like the feeling of your body thanking you after a good work out.

Then I must proof the piece. Review it for errors. For this, I must take the headphones off and think. Perhaps this is why I jump back and forth between personality profiles INFJ & INTJ at the drop of a hat.

But back to the topic, through learning this process and forming a habit of not only shutting off the left brain, but also of identifying with others (in my case the viewer/customer), I have been better armed to deal with the problems that have arisen due to my exodus from TSCC.

I was always inclined towards the arts, and very early on learned this process of dissociated from the left brain. I truly feel that this was a big part of my leaving the church at such an early age, 17. While being taught all these things, I would think and think and think about them, reaching no conclusion. However, when I grew frustrated I would sit down and begin to draw. I would turn off my thinker and my feeler would turn on. I would begin to identify with those that knew little of the church, had not grown up in the church, and had no family ties to influence the way they FELT about it. Then halfway through the drawing I would have an AHA moment, or as Jeff calls them, a "mind dump", where everything is suddenly clear (or distinctly feels a certain way...either positive or negative).

This process of turning off the left brain can be accomplished many different ways. The creative exercises McCue listed work great! I remember in figure drawing training, a professor who, at the start of the class, dictated every last thing that we must do, down to our sitting position and the way we held the brush/pencil/pen. I wanted to kill him! He would actually come over and break our pencil if we held it wrong. But I learned ALOT from the guy. We would have models come in and pose, and while we did 5, 10, and 15 minute sketches of the model, we were forbidden from looking at the paper. We had to look nowhere but the model. Also, we we forbidden from lifting the pencil from the paper; constant pressure, constant movement. It's utterly amazing, the communication that the brain can have with the eye and hand if you just let it go. These pieces didn't always turn out great, but they were always incredibly interesting to view.

Other ways of turning off the left brain are physical activity, nature, music, meditation, and even prayer. I think the church knows the power of this. The power of prayer is very real, but not in the way they proclaim. It is much like meditation; the constant focus on one thing, and deep concentration involved, is very effective, but not in communicating with God....effective in communicating with yourself. Mixed with the repetitive words of the standard prayers, it serves as a very deep, subconscious reinforcement and conditioning. The right brain can be used for good, or harm.

Nate

[peter_mary]

Ok, here I go.

I read through McCue's paper on Art Therapy for Recovering Mormons and was very surprised to learn of his surprise regarding the process of turning off the left brain and "letting go" while performing his creative excersises in France, and after. If anything the paper has forced me to realize how much of my own life and daily creative process I have taken for granted, and I'm very thankful that this paper helped me see that.

Nate
This was a VERY cool post...thanks, Nate, I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Though I'm not an artist in the same sense that Nate is, I can relate in a profound way to the process you speak of.

Since I do landscape and nature photography, I do the process differently (no headphones, for instance, blaring Tool ;) ), but the act of quieting the left brain is vital to my success. For me, I find my rational, linear, STJ brain worrying before I ever leave to shoot photos that I won't find the right elements, that the light will be all wrong, that the sky will be too overcast, or too blue. I worry about being able to pull it together, make it appealing.

But when I get out in the field, something happens, and my right brain slips on, and I find myself at peace. I'm alive and alert in my environment, loving where I AM, loving what I'm doing, and the chatter of worry and fuss is silenced. Hours or days later, I come home and upload my photos, weed through the garbage (there is always WAY more garbage than anything worthwhile...the beauty of digital photography!), and within a few hours, I've found the one or two or three images that I want to work with, and before I even know what happened or how...I have a couple of photos that I'm proud of enough to frame and hang!

And then I start to worry about when I'm going to get to go out again, is my camera good enough, what if I don't find anything to shoot NEXT time... I guess the right brain naps between shoots.

In a sense, what this has taught me is to trust my intuition. I am an "N" person (INFP), as apparently Nate is, too. I follow the vibe, I guess, rather than the formula (which is what an "ST" would probably do), and as long as I trust myself, I usually am pleased with the results.

Same thing leaving the Church. Trust the process, trust myself, trust my thinking, trust my ability to say the right thing when I need to...and it works out okay. But if I THINK about, I get all panicky!

Beautiful post, Nate!

[Jeff_Ricks]

Ok, don't have time to go into detail right now, but here is some of my work:

http://tinyurl.com/hzgq4

NateI love your artwork Nate!! The tribute to Spencer and Keenan is probably my favorite. I also think the pen and ink one of Spencer really captures something. It breathes! It's amazing how something as simple as pen and ink, in the right hands, can come alive. I'm also partial to the Icon flyer, but all of it is great stuff! Great work Nate!

Jeff

[Jeff_Ricks]

Dude, OMFG, too cool!!! :D :D :D I like the purple square spiral one the best.

Here's my stuff:

http://www.lunafisk.comCool, creative, fun creations Luna!

I'm starting to wonder how many artist types there are among us. I suppose I can claim to be part of that crowd. Maybe there's a high percentage per po-mo. In 2002 I attended an Exmormon Foundation conference in Salt Lake and met 9 people who were in the shrink business, bigeddy being one of them. There seems to be a high percentage of that profession too among us. I guess there has to be to keep an eye on us crazy artists! :D

Jeff