Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to

[helemon]

Luna, have you read this book? Sounds pretty good.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060928972/sr=8-1/qid=1154134392/ref=sr_1_1/002-6309482-0448828?ie=UTF8
Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You

[lunaverse]

Nope, I haven't. Sounds like a familiar theme, though. :) I'm trying to teach my son not to do that.

Luna

[Born Free]

Luna, have you read this book? Sounds pretty good.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060928972/sr=8-1/qid=1154134392/ref=sr_1_1/002-6309482-0448828?ie=UTF8
Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
Helemon,
This should be a good one to read for people raised in the Church.

When folks are too 'nice' to be angry or explicitly controlling, or lack the skills to separate control from influence then they frequently develop the more subtle arts of manipulation, and passive/aggressiveness is a common choice.

Guilt manipulation is another. Of course many religions are rich with models of martyrdom, so that is a favourite in religious settings.

Fear is more common that we give credit for. I was speaking to a friend in the last few days and his daughter's friend had just lost a baby at birth due to strangulation by the umbilical cord during delivery. He said, the minister at the service stated that this was 'Satan's work'. In my normal circles of friends and acquaintances, I simply don't encounter people who think like that. I think they are better suited to 1,006AD that 2006AD, and can't even begin to imagine how I can interact with that mindset, without suffering from the acute need to grab them by the throat and shake violently, and scream 'Wake the #uck up!' :slap:

Daryl

[helemon]

I was speaking to a friend in the last few days and his daughter's friend had just lost a baby at birth due to strangulation by the umbilical cord during delivery. He said, the minister at the service stated that this was 'Satan's work'.

Didn't the doctors have a oxygen sats monitor on her? I would think that the docs and nurses should have noticed if the babies oxygen levels dropped dramatically and could have done an emergency C-section.

My wife has told me several stories about home births gone bad. I just don't understand why people would want to have home births (not that this person did just saying). People get caught up in the romance of it all and how it is more natural. Guess what people, nature can be cruel and unpredictable! Much better to have professionals on hand monitoring the baby in the event that thing start to go south.

[Born Free]

<snip>
Much better to have professionals on hand monitoring the baby in the event that thing start to go south.

Then Satan would not be able to have his evil way??? :slap: :p :slap:

Daryl

[helemon]

Then Satan would not be able to have his evil way??? :slap: :p :slap:

Daryl
Ah but mother nature could still play her nasty tricks.

[helemon]

can't even begin to imagine how I can interact with that mindset, without suffering from the acute need to grab them by the throat and shake violently, and scream 'Wake the #uck up!' :slap:
In related news....

Posted by Fallible on RfM
I posted some time ago about the sad story of this relative that lost their unborn child the day he was to be delivered.

In further conversation with this relative he told me that he had been looking at porn online within a few days of the death. He asked me if I thought that this had something to do with their child being stillborn.

[Born Free]

In related news....

Posted by Fallible on RfM
Helemon,

Can't you imagine how that works.

God has a big ledger in which all the vices are scored.

Certain score, and you have a minor car crash.

Next level, you have a moderate car crash or the optional cancer scare.

Next grade is the serious car crash, a house fire, or cancer.

Top level is God kills your child or curses you with impotence.

Personally I'd probably estimate God has no choice but to kill your child after you have seen 10 porno flicks or 55 R rated ones. Mind you, if you wank AND watch porno flicks, it is probably after 5 of each! :slap:

God spare me.

It is interesting how much insight you can get into these mindsets by pushing them to the extreme. Then the sloppiness that is there even in the moderate mindsets become more apparent.

Once that fear and retribution mindset is implanted, it persists as the explanation mechanism when life turns pear shaped.

Daryl