About to leave the bubble

[bobcat]

So, in exacly 7 days and 10 hours, I will be on my way out of Utah. If all goes according to plan, I'll arrive in my new home, Champaign, Illinois, late Friday night. Needless to say, I'm very excited, but also a bit anxious to leave, since this will be my first time living outside of Utah besides my mission to Brazil.

I was just remembering back to my TBM days: people were always full of advice on how to remain a strong believer in a place where very few people shared your faith. All that stuff about "being an example", avoiding peer pressure, etc. But I wonder now, how does a PostMo make the adjustment? As much as I wish that my religion, or lack thereof, would be a nonissue, I have the feeling that it won't be.

I'm already partly acclimated to a "secular" lifestyle: I am entirely comfortable with drinking, smoking, coffee, etc. I hang out almost exclusively with people that aren't religious, which I am plenty comfortable with. And more importantly, I'm not racked with guilt everytime I break a "commandment". But at the same time, I know that I rely very strongly on Mormonism (or the lack thereof) as a topic of conversation with others. I am not particularly well versed in certain "ways of the world". I don't know what kind of wine to order with dinner. And, as most PostMo's are, I still live partially under the dark clouds of a lifetime of sexual repression. For as much as I've tried to become as much of a secular person over the last 2 1/2 years, that's still an average of 10 TBM years for every PostMo year.

I won't say that I'm scared, as that would be untrue. I am confident in my abilities to respond well to different situations. And it will help a lot that I will have a very time-consuming graduate program to keep me busy. Still, I am a bit anxious of how this will all go down. I know that I want to distance myself from Moism even more over the coming years, and I know that growth necessitates going through some very hard times. So, if anyone has any advice, i'd love to hear it!

[helemon]

I was just remembering back to my TBM days: people were always full of advice on how to remain a strong believer in a place where very few people shared your faith.

The majority of Mormon married students live in Winfield Village in Savoy. If you want to feel like you are back in Utah just go hang out there.

And, as most PostMo's are, I still live partially under the dark clouds of a lifetime of sexual repression.


There is a strip club in Urbana, another in Kappa, and at least three adult bookstores. The White Horse Inn seemed to be a popular place for beer. Mejier is great for all your shopping needs. I hope the parking situation has improved.

[dogzilla]

I remember the first time my TBM folks dropped me off at school. I had received a summer scholarship at the tender age of 16, and it only covered one summer session, about 1 hard or 2 easy classes, for soon-to-be high school seniors. I had never been to this campus before and my parents had never attended college, nor dropped off a kid at one for anything other than a weekend Youth Conference (again, that was me breaking ground).

They unloaded my stuff from the car, gave me a hug and off they went. No taking me out to lunch, or helping me unpack or anything like the other parents did for the other kids. And my roommate was like hours late and didn't show up until well after dinner.

I stood alone in my room for a couple minutes, quite scared and very unsure what to do next. Then I realized if I didn't stuff my shyness deep down inside somewhere and get over it, I would spend the next six weeks completely miserable and hating college and myself. So I resolved to go make a friend, even if it turned out I didn't like that person at the end of the summer. At least I would have somebody to go to dinner with that evening. (Dining hall was in another building on campus, so that involved a long walk trying to figure out where the food was.)

So I marched myself down the hall and stopped at the first open dorm room door I came to, introduced myself to the RA and asked for introductions down the hall. She didn't know anybody either, so I chatted with her for a few minutes and then moved on to the next open door. I continued that until I ended up going to dinner with several new-found friends later that evening. I had a total blast that summer and am STILL friends with one guy I met then... that was in 1986. I just got an e-mail from that guy the other day.

The hardest part sometimes, is just opening your mouth to talk to people. Once you do that, and realize that everyone else might be a bit weirded out by the situation too, it's easy. Pretty soon you'll have your own little support community and you'll forget about ever having lived in the morridor. Have fun and enjoy yourself! Oh, and work hard, because we all need a good lawyer! :p

[puff]

So, in exacly 7 days and 10 hours, I will be on my way out of Utah. If all goes according to plan, I'll arrive in my new home, Champaign, Illinois, late Friday night. Needless to say, I'm very excited, but also a bit anxious to leave, since this will be my first time living outside of Utah besides my mission to Brazil.

I was just remembering back to my TBM days: people were always full of advice on how to remain a strong believer in a place where very few people shared your faith. All that stuff about "being an example", avoiding peer pressure, etc. But I wonder now, how does a PostMo make the adjustment? As much as I wish that my religion, or lack thereof, would be a nonissue, I have the feeling that it won't be.

I'm already partly acclimated to a "secular" lifestyle: I am entirely comfortable with drinking, smoking, coffee, etc. I hang out almost exclusively with people that aren't religious, which I am plenty comfortable with. And more importantly, I'm not racked with guilt everytime I break a "commandment". But at the same time, I know that I rely very strongly on Mormonism (or the lack thereof) as a topic of conversation with others. I am not particularly well versed in certain "ways of the world". I don't know what kind of wine to order with dinner. And, as most PostMo's are, I still live partially under the dark clouds of a lifetime of sexual repression. For as much as I've tried to become as much of a secular person over the last 2 1/2 years, that's still an average of 10 TBM years for every PostMo year.

I won't say that I'm scared, as that would be untrue. I am confident in my abilities to respond well to different situations. And it will help a lot that I will have a very time-consuming graduate program to keep me busy. Still, I am a bit anxious of how this will all go down. I know that I want to distance myself from Moism even more over the coming years, and I know that growth necessitates going through some very hard times. So, if anyone has any advice, i'd love to hear it!well i geuss i might be a bit old fashioned but i think waiting around for the right person is still a good idea , with or without religious idealisms , strip clubs , naaaa , not good for making deep personal relationships , i would think that the school campus would be the place to make new friends and that you would soon find a clitch among those studying the real history of the earth , maybe your previous life has made you feel vunerable about relating to others of a different past , this is something that can only heal with time and lots of practice , i think its a mistake to push yourself into standards your not comfortable with , loyalty and virtue are good qualities to keep

[helemon]

well i geuss i might be a bit old fashioned but i think waiting around for the right person is still a good idea , with or without religious idealisms , strip clubs , naaaa ,

Hey, I never said he would find his soulmate there.

[puff]

Hey, I never said he would find his soulmate there.well what do you think he would find there , this young guy seems to have led a very good life thus far so lets not put him wrong .
hey bobcat , i have a 18 year old daughter who,s not attached ,

[helemon]

For as much as I've tried to become as much of a secular person over the last 2 1/2 years, that's still an average of 10 TBM years for every PostMo year.

I think you will find that these concerns quickly disappear once you are outside of Utah. I would also bet that there will be classmates who have been raised in a very religious community and feel similar to yourself.