Born Free
10th October 2006, 07:30 PM
I came acress this interesting post on a thread started by Bob McCue, a copy of which is posted on his site. The thread theme was how the Church sets people who leave up to fail, through ill preparing them for the real world.
Cognitive Therapy for Personality Disorders: a Schema-Focused Approach: Young
"I have thought a lot about your post and how the church sabotages those who choose not to play by its rules. As I analyze it, much of this can be explained by cognitive
psychology. Cognitive therapists talk about adaptive and maladaptive schemas or paradigms. Adaptive schemas reflect reality, while maladaptive schemas distort reality.
Adaptive cognitive schemas or objective paradigms align us with our true selves and with the real world. Because maladaptive cognitive schemas or subjective paradigms distort the reality of whom we are and what we're surrounded by, maladaptive schemas create self-defeating, core themes or patterns that we keep repeating throughout our lives.
Aaron Beck, an early cognitive therapist, postulated that schemas bias our interpretation of reality in a consistent manner. When the distortions become pathological, they show up as "typical misconceptions, distorted attitudes, invalid premises, and unrealistic goals and expectations."
Another cognitive therapist and a disciple of Beck's, Jeffrey Young, calls these maladaptive schemas "lifetraps." In his book Cognitive Therapy for Personality Disorders: a Schema-Focused Approach, Young lists 18 early maladaptive schemas or "lifetraps".
In my view, Mormonism uses various "lifetraps" to sabotage those who will not play by its rules. Below I have pasted Young's descriptions of some of the lifetraps that seem the most prevalent in Mormonism from Young's website. As I reviewed these, I was struck by how close Young's description of the lifetrap of subjugation fits my earlier posts on this thread. I was also struck by the prevalence in Mormonism of the lifetraps in Young's last cluster. BKP comes to mind with Young's descriptions of the lifetraps of unrelenting standards/hypercriticalnes and punitiveness."
M.P.
11. OTHER-DIRECTEDNESS
(An excessive focus on the desires, feelings, and responses of others, at the expense of one's own needs -- in order to gain love and approval, to maintain one's sense of connection, or avoid retaliation. Usually involves suppression and lack of awareness regarding one's own anger and natural inclinations. Typical family origin is based on conditional acceptance: children must suppress important aspects of themselves in order to gain love, attention, and approval. In many such families, the parents' emotional needs and desires -- or social acceptance and status -- are valued more than the unique needs and feelings of each child.)
12. SUBJUGATION (SB)
Excessive surrendering of control to others because one feels coerced - - usually to avoid anger, retaliation, or abandonment. The two major forms of subjugation are:
A. Subjugation of Needs: Suppression of one's preferences, decisions, and desires.
B. Subjugation of Emotions: Suppression of emotional expression, especially anger. Usually involves the perception that one's own desires, opinions, and feelings are not valid or important to others. Frequently presents as excessive compliance, combined with hypersensitivity to feeling trapped. Generally leads to a build up of anger, manifested in maladaptive symptoms (e.g., passive-aggressive behavior, uncontrolled outbursts of temper, psychosomatic symptoms, withdrawal of affection, "acting out", substance
abuse).
13. SELF-SACRIFICE (SS)
Excessive focus on voluntarily meeting the needs of others in daily situations, at the expense of one's own gratification. The most common reasons are: to prevent causing pain to others; to avoid guilt from feeling selfish; or to maintain the connection with others perceived as needy. Often results from an acute sensitivity to the pain of others. Sometimes leads to a sense that one's own needs are not being adequately met and to resentment of those who are taken care of. (Overlaps with concept of co-dependency.)
14. APPROVAL-SEEKING / RECOGNITION-SEEKING (AS)
Excessive emphasis on gaining approval, recognition, or attention from other people, or fitting in, at the expense of developing a secure and true sense of self. One's sense of esteem is dependent primarily on the reactions of others rather than on one's own natural inclinations. Sometimes includes an overemphasis on status, appearance, social
acceptance, money, or achievement -- as means of gaining approval, admiration, or attention (not primarily for power or control). Frequently results in major life decisions that are inauthentic or unsatisfying; or in hypersensitivity to rejection.
OVERVIGILANCE & INHIBITION
OR on meeting rigid, internalized rules and expectations about performance and ethical behavior -- often at the expense of happiness, self-expression, relaxation, close relationships, or health. Typical family origin is grim, demanding, and sometimes punitive: performance, duty, perfectionism, following rules, hiding emotions, and avoiding mistakes predominate over pleasure, joy, and relaxation. There is usually an undercurrent of pessimism and worry---that things could fall apart if one fails to be vigilant and careful at all times.)
15. NEGATIVITY / PESSIMISM (NP)
A pervasive, lifelong focus on the negative aspects of life (pain, death, loss, disappointment, conflict, guilt, resentment, unsolved problems, potential mistakes, betrayal, things that could go wrong, etc.) while minimizing or neglecting the positive or optimistic aspects. Usually includes an exaggerated expectation-- in a wide range of work, financial, or interpersonal situations -- that things will eventually go seriously wrong, or that aspects of one's life that seem to be going well will ultimately fall apart. Usually involves an inordinate fear of making mistakes that might lead to: financial collapse, loss, humiliation, or being trapped in a bad situation. Because potential negative
outcomes are exaggerated, these patients are frequently characterized by chronic worry, vigilance, complaining, or indecision.
16. EMOTIONAL INHIBITION (EI)
The excessive inhibition of spontaneous action, feeling, or communication -- usually to avoid disapproval by others, feelings of shame, or losing control of one's impulses. The most common areas of inhibition involve: (a) inhibition of anger & aggression; (b) inhibition of positive impulses (e.g., joy, affection, sexual excitement, play); (c) difficulty expressing vulnerability or communicating freely about one's feelings, needs, etc.; or (d) excessive emphasis on rationality while disregarding emotions.
17. UNRELENTING STANDARDS / HYPERCRITICALNESS (US)
The underlying belief that one must strive to meet very high internalized standards of behavior and performance, usually to avoid criticism. Typically results in feelings of pressure or difficulty slowing down; and in hypercriticalness toward oneself and others. Must involve significant impairment in: pleasure, relaxation, health, self-esteem, sense of accomplishment, or satisfying relationships. Unrelenting standards typically present as: (a) perfectionism, inordinate attention to detail, or an underestimate of how good one's own performance is relative to the norm; (b) rigid rules and "shoulds" in many areas of life, including unrealistically high moral, ethical, cultural, or religious precepts; or (c) preoccupation with time and efficiency, so that more can be accomplished.
18. PUNITIVENESS (PU)
The belief that people should be harshly punished for making mistakes. Involves the tendency to be angry, intolerant, punitive, and impatient with those people (including oneself) who do not meet one's expectations or standards. Usually includes difficulty forgiving mistakes in oneself or others, because of a reluctance to consider extenuating circumstances, allow for human imperfection, or empathize with feelings.
All the above sounded pretty close to the money to me, and consistent with much of the discussion here previously.
Daryl
The original thread is at:
http://mccue.cc/bob/documents/rs.the%20risks%20of%20leaving%20mormonism.pdf
Cognitive Therapy for Personality Disorders: a Schema-Focused Approach: Young
"I have thought a lot about your post and how the church sabotages those who choose not to play by its rules. As I analyze it, much of this can be explained by cognitive
psychology. Cognitive therapists talk about adaptive and maladaptive schemas or paradigms. Adaptive schemas reflect reality, while maladaptive schemas distort reality.
Adaptive cognitive schemas or objective paradigms align us with our true selves and with the real world. Because maladaptive cognitive schemas or subjective paradigms distort the reality of whom we are and what we're surrounded by, maladaptive schemas create self-defeating, core themes or patterns that we keep repeating throughout our lives.
Aaron Beck, an early cognitive therapist, postulated that schemas bias our interpretation of reality in a consistent manner. When the distortions become pathological, they show up as "typical misconceptions, distorted attitudes, invalid premises, and unrealistic goals and expectations."
Another cognitive therapist and a disciple of Beck's, Jeffrey Young, calls these maladaptive schemas "lifetraps." In his book Cognitive Therapy for Personality Disorders: a Schema-Focused Approach, Young lists 18 early maladaptive schemas or "lifetraps".
In my view, Mormonism uses various "lifetraps" to sabotage those who will not play by its rules. Below I have pasted Young's descriptions of some of the lifetraps that seem the most prevalent in Mormonism from Young's website. As I reviewed these, I was struck by how close Young's description of the lifetrap of subjugation fits my earlier posts on this thread. I was also struck by the prevalence in Mormonism of the lifetraps in Young's last cluster. BKP comes to mind with Young's descriptions of the lifetraps of unrelenting standards/hypercriticalnes and punitiveness."
M.P.
11. OTHER-DIRECTEDNESS
(An excessive focus on the desires, feelings, and responses of others, at the expense of one's own needs -- in order to gain love and approval, to maintain one's sense of connection, or avoid retaliation. Usually involves suppression and lack of awareness regarding one's own anger and natural inclinations. Typical family origin is based on conditional acceptance: children must suppress important aspects of themselves in order to gain love, attention, and approval. In many such families, the parents' emotional needs and desires -- or social acceptance and status -- are valued more than the unique needs and feelings of each child.)
12. SUBJUGATION (SB)
Excessive surrendering of control to others because one feels coerced - - usually to avoid anger, retaliation, or abandonment. The two major forms of subjugation are:
A. Subjugation of Needs: Suppression of one's preferences, decisions, and desires.
B. Subjugation of Emotions: Suppression of emotional expression, especially anger. Usually involves the perception that one's own desires, opinions, and feelings are not valid or important to others. Frequently presents as excessive compliance, combined with hypersensitivity to feeling trapped. Generally leads to a build up of anger, manifested in maladaptive symptoms (e.g., passive-aggressive behavior, uncontrolled outbursts of temper, psychosomatic symptoms, withdrawal of affection, "acting out", substance
abuse).
13. SELF-SACRIFICE (SS)
Excessive focus on voluntarily meeting the needs of others in daily situations, at the expense of one's own gratification. The most common reasons are: to prevent causing pain to others; to avoid guilt from feeling selfish; or to maintain the connection with others perceived as needy. Often results from an acute sensitivity to the pain of others. Sometimes leads to a sense that one's own needs are not being adequately met and to resentment of those who are taken care of. (Overlaps with concept of co-dependency.)
14. APPROVAL-SEEKING / RECOGNITION-SEEKING (AS)
Excessive emphasis on gaining approval, recognition, or attention from other people, or fitting in, at the expense of developing a secure and true sense of self. One's sense of esteem is dependent primarily on the reactions of others rather than on one's own natural inclinations. Sometimes includes an overemphasis on status, appearance, social
acceptance, money, or achievement -- as means of gaining approval, admiration, or attention (not primarily for power or control). Frequently results in major life decisions that are inauthentic or unsatisfying; or in hypersensitivity to rejection.
OVERVIGILANCE & INHIBITION
OR on meeting rigid, internalized rules and expectations about performance and ethical behavior -- often at the expense of happiness, self-expression, relaxation, close relationships, or health. Typical family origin is grim, demanding, and sometimes punitive: performance, duty, perfectionism, following rules, hiding emotions, and avoiding mistakes predominate over pleasure, joy, and relaxation. There is usually an undercurrent of pessimism and worry---that things could fall apart if one fails to be vigilant and careful at all times.)
15. NEGATIVITY / PESSIMISM (NP)
A pervasive, lifelong focus on the negative aspects of life (pain, death, loss, disappointment, conflict, guilt, resentment, unsolved problems, potential mistakes, betrayal, things that could go wrong, etc.) while minimizing or neglecting the positive or optimistic aspects. Usually includes an exaggerated expectation-- in a wide range of work, financial, or interpersonal situations -- that things will eventually go seriously wrong, or that aspects of one's life that seem to be going well will ultimately fall apart. Usually involves an inordinate fear of making mistakes that might lead to: financial collapse, loss, humiliation, or being trapped in a bad situation. Because potential negative
outcomes are exaggerated, these patients are frequently characterized by chronic worry, vigilance, complaining, or indecision.
16. EMOTIONAL INHIBITION (EI)
The excessive inhibition of spontaneous action, feeling, or communication -- usually to avoid disapproval by others, feelings of shame, or losing control of one's impulses. The most common areas of inhibition involve: (a) inhibition of anger & aggression; (b) inhibition of positive impulses (e.g., joy, affection, sexual excitement, play); (c) difficulty expressing vulnerability or communicating freely about one's feelings, needs, etc.; or (d) excessive emphasis on rationality while disregarding emotions.
17. UNRELENTING STANDARDS / HYPERCRITICALNESS (US)
The underlying belief that one must strive to meet very high internalized standards of behavior and performance, usually to avoid criticism. Typically results in feelings of pressure or difficulty slowing down; and in hypercriticalness toward oneself and others. Must involve significant impairment in: pleasure, relaxation, health, self-esteem, sense of accomplishment, or satisfying relationships. Unrelenting standards typically present as: (a) perfectionism, inordinate attention to detail, or an underestimate of how good one's own performance is relative to the norm; (b) rigid rules and "shoulds" in many areas of life, including unrealistically high moral, ethical, cultural, or religious precepts; or (c) preoccupation with time and efficiency, so that more can be accomplished.
18. PUNITIVENESS (PU)
The belief that people should be harshly punished for making mistakes. Involves the tendency to be angry, intolerant, punitive, and impatient with those people (including oneself) who do not meet one's expectations or standards. Usually includes difficulty forgiving mistakes in oneself or others, because of a reluctance to consider extenuating circumstances, allow for human imperfection, or empathize with feelings.
All the above sounded pretty close to the money to me, and consistent with much of the discussion here previously.
Daryl
The original thread is at:
http://mccue.cc/bob/documents/rs.the%20risks%20of%20leaving%20mormonism.pdf