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puff
31st October 2006, 04:45 AM
my wife begged me to go to the high priest dinner the other night so i went to keep her happy and actually i was made quite welcome and had some quite intersting discussions .

one person i spoke with , ( SISTER M ) had brought up three teenagers thru the church , two of whom had been on missions , the last a female was about to go on one , this looks like a perfect record of moism working well , all the young adults are well educated , polite and if i may say good looking , but wait theres a problem , at 27, 25 and 24 none of them have found marriage partners , the oldest has not been out with a girlfriend period , thats 27 years of zilch sexuality , so i began wondering why three very atractive people ended up on the shelf and this is what i came up with .

in a normal enviroment , sexuality begins very young , usually with masturbation , but if your not in a normal enviroment and as a young person are being made to feel constant guilt and shame about the fact that you have a few sexual desires going on , then one of two things happens , you may keep on masturbating but live with constant feelings of shame and guilt , ( most likely ) or you may succeed in supressing your sexuality (not very likely ) and become a kind of chloroform doormat, either way , your going to become disfunctional because you have excepted that sexuality is abnormal .

so i was thinking that in this case , and perhaps in many more , parental guidance that holds total fear about the possibility of young adults exsperiencing some form of sexuality outside of marriage , coupled with normal mormon parnoia about sex , ends up with some people living in a kind emotional sexual trauma where they end up alone and unable to function normaly in a healthy sexual relationship ,
on the other end of the scale , a large majority of the young women i know of in this area (mormons ) ended up pregnant with no husbands at about the 15 to 16 mark ,
in these cases ( all in very active families ) sexual repression had exactly the opposite effect of producing total reckless absurdity ,but for young people who honour their covenants , i tend to think that a whole part of normal sexual development will be missing , producing problems that will go on and on , even late into life ,
the scenario of people ending up 30 with no sexual exsperience at all seems quite common to mormon life ...

lynsie
1st November 2006, 11:09 PM
I was just thinking about this when it comes to my TBM sister. She is married, but has such a shame-complex about her sexuality that...well...I think there are beds in convents that have seen more action than hers. How do I know this, you ask? Her husband (my bro-in-law of course) has made some rather akward attempts to bring the issue to my attention, so that maybe I would talk to my sister about her frigid ways. This to me is the saddest part. Not only are they ashamed of sex to the point that they are completely dysfunctional, but they are unable to have an adult conversation about the issue. I advised my brother-in-law to talk to his wife (although I wanted to tell him a little alone time with himself might also help diffuse the situation) Ewww now I'm thinking about my brother-in-law in ways I am uncomfortable with!!!:Puking :Puking :Puking

puff
2nd November 2006, 03:42 AM
I was just thinking about this when it comes to my TBM sister. She is married, but has such a shame-complex about her sexuality that...well...I think there are beds in convents that have seen more action than hers. How do I know this, you ask? Her husband (my bro-in-law of course) has made some rather akward attempts to bring the issue to my attention, so that maybe I would talk to my sister about her frigid ways. This to me is the saddest part. Not only are they ashamed of sex to the point that they are completely dysfunctional, but they are unable to have an adult conversation about the issue. I advised my brother-in-law to talk to his wife (although I wanted to tell him a little alone time with himself might also help diffuse the situation) Ewww now I'm thinking about my brother-in-law in ways I am uncomfortable with!!!:Puking :Puking :Pukingi,m sure its quite common , the jesus is watching me complex about sex , even for married couples its an issue , even worse tho is young people who end up with no sexual life at all .
question is , what is the norm for sexual developement , i have three daughters and two sons , the only one that doesn,t have a partner is the most problem , alltho they all started having sex before marriage , so far they have all stuck with one partner and i am quite happy about that , i never ever asked them questions about there sex life as they were growing up and was shocked to find that leaders in the church were , this was a terrible shock to me and i felt are family privacy was being invaded , as it turned out are bishop new more about their personal lives than i did

helemon
2nd November 2006, 07:50 AM
my wife begged me to go to the high priest dinner the other night so i went to keep her happy and actually i was made quite welcome and had some quite intersting discussions .
See you didn't have to be paranoid after all.

the scenario of people ending up 30 with no sexual exsperience at all seems quite common to mormon life ...
Are you sure this is the case. I am sure they were probably told not to date non-members and so that probably restricted their opportunities considerably.

puff
5th November 2006, 01:39 AM
See you didn't have to be paranoid after all.

Are you sure this is the case. I am sure they were probably told not to date non-members and so that probably restricted their opportunities considerably.
no i,m not sure about anything , why it is , i don,t think their choices are restricted as there quite a large community to choose from , i do know that there are a lot of them ,
sexual development is some how inhibited