Why I Love PostMormon.org

[silverfox]

I believe sometimes (and I may be wrong) that many folks including TBMs think as ex Mos we go around 24/7 whining and complaining about church issues, etc. wah wah wah

Because we are consumed with church as members this might be easy to accept and believe.

The one thing I love about this forum is that I can do all my whining here and leave it out of the rest of my life.

That's what support groups are for, right? We can gather here, share our experiences, our knowledge, bond with those who understand us and our feelings, have fun and then go on with our lives.

Church is rarely a topic these days outside of this board. Hubby's TBM family pretty much ignores us. Visiting teachers and home teachers have ceased coming to our home. No missionaries. I know who my real friends are now. So as each day passes the church plays even a smaller role in my life. (yay!!!!) Oh there are a few hiccups here and there and always will be especially living in Utard.

I love that I come here and get the support I need, vent when I need it, or just log in and make a comment.

Thanks everyone!

[mutleydog]

I believe sometimes (and I may be wrong) that many folks including TBMs think as ex Mos we go around 24/7 whining and complaining about church issues, etc. wah wah wah

Because we are consumed with church as members this might be easy to accept and believe.

The one thing I love about this forum is that I can do all my whining here and leave it out of the rest of my life.

That's what support groups are for, right? We can gather here, share our experiences, our knowledge, bond with those who understand us and our feelings, have fun and then go on with our lives.

Church is rarely a topic these days outside of this board. Hubby's TBM family pretty much ignores us. Visiting teachers and home teachers have ceased coming to our home. No missionaries. I know who my real friends are now. So as each day passes the church plays even a smaller role in my life. (yay!!!!) Oh there are a few hiccups here and there and always will be especially living in Utard.

I love that I come here and get the support I need, vent when I need it, or just log in and make a comment.

Thanks everyone!

I love it too! I think it would be mightily difficult to live in a place where the church is dominant because I think its difficult enough where it is not. However, I have found it extremely hard to express myself in Scotland because generally I know very few people that have been lds and/or understand the feelings etc. associated with leaving the church. Until you have been in the situation its hard to empathise (a) why you joined in the first place (b) why you stuck it out so long and (c) why its so hard to come to terms with the loss etc. I am so glad that I have found this site to talk and express myself with people that have been there or are going through it all. It has really helped me to see that what I feel is pretty normal in the circumstances; that I am not 'making a mountain out of mole hill'; that it is not necessarily easy to forget and move on so to speak.

Thank you everyone for being such a support - you are all awesome!! :D

[dogzilla]

Thank you for saying that Silverfox.

For me being exmo has been an experience akin to what closeted gay people go through. I have this secret past that I rarely share with anyone and almost never discuss with even my close friends. I am the only person I know with any affiliation whatsoever, past or current, to the LDS church. (Besides my folks, who are 1200 miles away.)

On very rare occasions, if engaged in a general religious discussion (which happens frequently here in the Baptist Bible Belt), I will share a summary of what TBMs believe and leave it at that. I would note that, rather than debate doctrine, the discussion then usually degenerates into a Mormon-bashing party, which can be fun, but is not my intention.

I almost never admit in public to having been a TBM once upon a time. Doesn't fit my hard-partying, free-wheeling, nekkid-gardening, dog-rescuing persona. :p

So it's been nice to "come out," so to speak (apologies to actual gay people -- I don't mean to trivialize your experience at all) and talk about things that were on my mind or still are, for whatever reason. A good example is how I never discuss being sexually abused out here in real life. Because the church handled that situation so poorly, my emotional baggage is more from the church's feeble dealings with sexual abuse than the actual abuse itself. But until now, I've had no forum -- where people are empathetic and understanding -- to address how the church handles abuse. TBMs tend to foist the blame back on me. Nevermos can't understand why my parents allowed the church to handle things in such a way and tend to misdirect blame at them.

Also, this is the only place I feel safe discussing why I'm not a Christian any more, because there are so many others here who feel the same way I do, for many of the same reasons. I know there won't be a pile on if people don't agree with me. Just a polite and respectful debate to foster understanding.

Sniff.... Group hug?

(By contrast, I'm a member of another message board that shall remain unnamed. While it's a great place for serious, intellectual debate with very smart and educated people, the LDS members of that board absolutely cannot stand to read anti TBM threads without piling on and making a big stink about everything. Almost all threads about LDS anything on that board tend to pick apart Mormon doctrine and Mormons, so it's easy to understand why they get so defensive. They hate exmos, so I tend to stay out of those threads and not post my $0.02.)

[free thinker]

This site has been quite helpfull for me. I truly enjoy the intellectual aspect of the site.

Glad to have a place to go to help in the post-mo process!! :)

Free Thinker

[silverfox]

Sniff.... Group hug?



Come here, girl! I am all for group hugs!!!!!

I have been very pleased with the feel of this forum. I love that even with very sensitive subjects there is no bashing, no name calling, etc. Simply sharing of opinions with respect. I hope this continues.

If I miss a post that is offensive please, everyone don't hesitate to point it out to me. Send me a PM or an email. I check in several times throughout the day and evening. My goal is to keep this a respectful calm happy fun place to be. Where everyone can feel free to share their ideas, questions, experiences, etc without feeling like they are going to be criticized.

Of course we have to have rules and guidelines and I am working on those. We have a board of directors and everything must be approved by them. I think this makes the board unique. It helps keep us on track with our goals in sight.

Okay, more group hug!

[gracie]

Come here, girl! I am all for group hugs!!!!!

I have been very pleased with the feel of this forum. I love that even with very sensitive subjects there is no bashing, no name calling, etc. Simply sharing of opinions with respect. I hope this continues.

If I miss a post that is offensive please, everyone don't hesitate to point it out to me. Send me a PM or an email. I check in several times throughout the day and evening. My goal is to keep this a respectful calm happy fun place to be. Where everyone can feel free to share their ideas, questions, experiences, etc without feeling like they are going to be criticized.

Of course we have to have rules and guidelines and I am working on those. We have a board of directors and everything must be approved by them. I think this makes the board unique. It helps keep us on track with our goals in sight.

Okay, more group hug!

I have to chime in, that I don't feel there is anywhere else I feel as safe in expressing my views. I'm in on the group hug I hope!!!!!!
Gracie

[dogzilla]

Of course you are, Gracie!


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