Need Advice-Missionaries

[shamdiel]

I have a question to put to the group. It is something you would think would not be a problem living in the heart of Mormon dumb (sp?) but, it is! And one thing I do not deal with very well; Missonaries. I was one, at one time, and know how hard it is to knock on people's doors. But even knowing this, I have a hard time dealing with them. The last time I was down right rude to the sister missionfairies (sp?) (Gaud!! I wish you had a spelling checker!) and felt pretty bad about it.

I guess I still have a bunch of disapointment bottled up in me over the way my family and myself were treated by "God's only true people" when we were exed from the church. It makes it hard to be kind to the Missmos and take time to invite them in and chat!
I know they had nothing to do with what happened to me but, they do represent the Org, suites, lawyers that did. :(
I know they have nothing to say that I would care to listen to and I could only rain on their parade if I said what is going through my mind. The times I have invited them in have been very uncomfortable experiences for both sides. So, how do the rest of you handle this gracfully? I know this may seem weird but the mishmens and mishwemens are on my street almost every day and I seem to be at a loss as to what to say to them. How's that for oddness? :o

John

[Jeff_Ricks]

I have a question to put to the group. It is something you would think would not be a problem living in the heart of Mormon dumb (sp?) but, it is! And one thing I do not deal with very well; Missonaries. I was one, at one time, and know how hard it is to knock on people's doors. But even knowing this, I have a hard time dealing with them. The last time I was down right rude to the sister missionfairies (sp?) (Gaud!! I wish you had a spelling checker!) and felt pretty bad about it.

I guess I still have a bunch of disapointment bottled up in me over the way my family and myself were treated by "God's only true people" when we were exed from the church. It makes it hard to be kind to the Missmos and take time to invite them in and chat!
I know they had nothing to do with what happened to me but, they do represent the Org, suites, lawyers that did. :(
I know they have nothing to say that I would care to listen to and I could only rain on their parade if I said what is going through my mind. The times I have invited them in have been very uncomfortable experiences for both sides. So, how do the rest of you handle this gracfully? I know this may seem weird but the mishmens and mishwemens are on my street almost every day and I seem to be at a loss as to what to say to them. How's that for oddness? :o

John


Hmmmm.... maybe hang a sign on your door that says, "Yes, I've heard about the Mormons, and no I would not like to learn more." :cool:

Jeff

[ifitmakesuhappy]

Tell them ur gay :D well it always works for my girlfriend when she's approached lol...they dont even try they just make their excuses and leave lol.
Maybe u could answer the door naked n tell them ur in the middle of something :cool: that'd scare them away too :eek:
Maybe we should get pamphlets printed...and tell them ul read theirs if they read urs.
Some of them just dont take 'no!' for an answer huh? Sometimes u gotta just tell them where to go. They will probably have forgotten you pretty quick while you're still feelin bad ages afterwards.

[lsands]

I'm not interested. Of course, they couldn't come in to visit me anyway, since I am a single woman. I might overpower the two young men singlehandedly and rape them or something! (If there were only one of them I might be able to understand the caution, but c'mon, TWO of them?) They must sense the powerful sexual energy I emit now that I've left Mo'ism and don't wear GARMENTS any more, LOL! ;)

I have sympathy for them, but they choose to be out there. Thanks, but no thanks.

Laraine

[peter_mary]

This may come as a surprise to those of you who read my posts, but we invite the missionaries in. And here's why. They are children, they are impressionable, and they are doing something they really believe in. It's not their fault that their culture tells them they would be a dismal failure if they didn't serve a mission.

Mostly, we see it as an opportunity to extend kindness to young people. We are open with them, if they ask, about our position relative to the Church, and our hope is that we send them out the door thinking, "Huh...I would have thought that apostates would be meaner than that!"

See, we want them to realize that the people who leave the Church on purpose are intelligent, kind, well-informed people who MIGHT just know something they haven't learned yet. By being kind to them, inviting them in, we are creating an opportunity to influence them in ways that might be missed if we slammed the door in their faces.

So that's how it happens at our house. We even sent the last batch out the door with some of the Christmas goodies that our Home and Visiting teachers brought over! :)

Paul

P.S. They never come back, either!

[noodle]

This may come as a surprise to those of you who read my posts, but we invite the missionaries in. And here's why. They are children, they are impressionable, and they are doing something they really believe in. It's not their fault that their culture tells them they would be a dismal failure if they didn't serve a mission.

Mostly, we see it as an opportunity to extend kindness to young people. We are open with them, if they ask, about our position relative to the Church, and our hope is that we send them out the door thinking, "Huh...I would have thought that apostates would be meaner than that!"

See, we want them to realize that the people who leave the Church on purpose are intelligent, kind, well-informed people who MIGHT just know something they haven't learned yet. By being kind to them, inviting them in, we are creating an opportunity to influence them in ways that might be missed if we slammed the door in their faces.

So that's how it happens at our house. We even sent the last batch out the door with some of the Christmas goodies that our Home and Visiting teachers brought over! :)

Paul

P.S. They never come back, either!
We have done the exact same thing ('though I'll have to remember the gift of VT or HT cookies:D). We've expressed our feelings in the most non-threatening way possible. They usually sit quietly, and it seems that they don't know what to say. We then tell them that we'd be happy to have them over for dinner, etc., but we're not interested in coming back to church. We never seem to hear from them again. ;)

[Born Free]

I found many years ago that if I just asked questions, I maintained control of the conversation and kept them on their back foot.

Your apparent interest really wrong-foots them because they are so used to opposition, indifference, and resistence.

So start with a relatively light area, and then move into deeper and deeper territory, probing all the known problem areas. Each time they cannot answer, note it and move on.

After you have covered many of the really big ones, ask them how well prepared they are to represent their religion, if they know little to nothing of such momentous matters.

You might mess up their day really badly, but you might also expedite their exit from Moland, saving them wasting many, many yeasr of their life.

Daryl

[noodle]

OK...now this has got me to thinking. Stand back! :Crazy:

As stated before, these are truly just kids knocking on our doors. Having worked in a medical office in Utah where many missionaries come in for their pre-mission physicals, it is so obvious that many are going because they see no other option, whether it be from family or social pressure. They may have no real desire to go, but they do. Pretty sad, but that's another thread.

Anyway, I digressed. The point is, most are impressionable, and hopefully teachable. Admittedly, there have been times when the missionaries showed up at my door and I was really annoyed. But what if I decided to turn the time into a "teachable moment," and invited them in for some coffee and a smoke? Oops. Forget that part.

I'm wondering, what points could I make that might really stimulate some thought on their part? Or borrowing from the Mos, what seeds could I plant that might help them evolve as they mature in their thinking? I certainly appreciate that each missionary is at a different level of understanding, or desire to increase their knowledge base. However, I can't help but think that a dose of kindness by welcoming them into our homes (as mentioned above by Paul), as well as giving them a "take home message" might assist them in their spiritual journeys...
Any thoughts?

[silverfox]

The last time the misshies were in our home was because hubby invited them. I was on my way out. Hubby wanted our daughter baptized. She was almost 9. The bish said she had to have the discussions because she was now 9. COOL....BRING IT ON! I made a deal with hubby, she can have the discussions if I can be there, too, and monitor what they are teaching her.

One mishie drew a picture of a car driving into a hole in the earth where there is fire. Something about choosing the wrong path, road, whatever. I didn't have much to say about that.

Then there was the Joe Smith vision story. Ummm, excuse bro xx, hey did you know there are several versions of Joe's claims regarding the first vision? No, really there is. Daughter, there are several versions which makes it appear kinda of skeptical. Oh and hey, let's talk about polygamy AND polyandry. Did you kow, misshies that my missionaries never mentioned these to me in my discussions? Do you teach about this now? No? Really? Wow. I told them to check out the church's geneology website and look under Joe's geneology records. Yep there they are, look - he was married to women who were already married. Looky there. Hey, let me print it off for you. The next week the mishie brought me a link to FAIRS and FARMS. :Puking :Puking I told him I'd check his sites out if he checked out mine. (he probably thought I was hitting on him)

The other one on one visit started talking about the prophet. And how he is the mouthpiece for God. He is the only one who speaks and talks to God. Now hold, on there, brother. I took over there. Now, daughter, this is not true. If you believe in prayer and if you pray God hears your prayers. And no you DON'T have to same them exactly like bro xx and bro yy are telling you. He will listen to you no matter what. AND he WILL answer your prayers just as much as he answers a prophet's prayers. He will speak to you just as much as he speaks to the profit. Don't ever ever ever ever think the profit knows what is best for you just because he says God said so. YOU will know what is best for YOU. No one knows that better than you. TRUST YOU.

Mishies were speechless. They didn't know what to do, which direction to take.

Sister XX, do you want your daughter baptized or not?

HELL NO. But I made a deal with hubby. She could take the discussions if I could participate. No way do I want her to be a member at freakin' age NINE. That's too young to make a life changing decision. What the hell?

You must understand there was much laughter :eek: and fun in between all this. We got to know them. I fed them yummy dinners. Made them treats. Asked all about their lives, their families, etc.

Needless to say the visits came to an end real soon. Sad. I really liked them. And maybe one day they will remember our conversation. Maybe I planted a seed. Who knows?

Sorry for the ramble. This thread just brought back fond memories. (daughter has not been baptized...yay)

I used to get ticked about the fast offering beggars. UGH. I would tell them each week. Please don't come here any more. I called the EQ prez, please don't come to my house. They still came. Finally I grabbed the stupid blue envelope from the guys, closed the door, and wrote all over it in RED - DO NOT COME HERE ANYMORE. GO AWAY. LEAVE US ALONE. I handed it to them, apologized telling them look, don't take it personal, I've just asked time and time again to not come here. Haven't seen them since.

John - if you truly don't want to be bothered at all, tell them. Really. They will respect that. After all they don't want to waste their time either.

But you can waste their time by inviting them in, being nice, have the TV on or some cool music (oooops they watched TV and heard music) You can have fun with them.

But sometimes that makes members think they are all welcome. I hate when they bring ward members with them. icky

You will get good ideas and feedback here. I have a "I'M ALREADY GOING TO HELL SO NO RELIGIOUS SOLICITING PLEASE".

Again sorry for the ramble.

[bigeddy]

I have never had an encounter with the mishies in Utard. I have often wondered what I would do. THey did come by one day when I was not here and my wife tells the story like this:

They knocked at the door. She answered not knowing what she would feel and do. When she saw them, she saw children. She talked with them at the door and stated something to the effect;
"Just look at you, out on your mission. You're so cute." She treated them as the children they are, with nothing whatsoever to offer her. Let's face it (and I was one of them at one time too) at 19, I was an uneducated lout who had been told I was a representative for someone who (IMO) never lived. What a funny thing it is really. I guess she just responded that way. They left soon.

Ed

[shamdiel]

Thanks everyone. Great info, so far. I don't think you are rambeling, Silver Fox. I was after specifics. What you gave was an account of a real experience and the way you handled it. Great stuff. It sounds like Daryl would have some specifics, that would blow your socks off, too.

What happenes, with me anyway, is that all I can seem to think about is how these kids represent an establishment I left behind and how much I loath that establishment. I don't want to unload all that emotion on them so, I pretty much don't say anything. Most of the time I can't think of anything to say, and even though I have years of study, under my belt, it all flies away! About all I can think to do is grunt!!! :confused: Must be that lost spiritual connection that the Stake Pres. promised me!

That is why I like the stories of your real experiences. I gives me something specific that I can draw on when all else fails me. I can read a book a dozen times and three weeks later not be able to put one good sentence together to explain what I read but, If someone tells me about something that happened to them, I can remember the details for years. Go figure!? So, anyone who wan'ts to be more specific, by all means, please do so. It will help bunches.

John

P.S. I think I might tract out Isands house desguised as a lone missionary. That might be fun!!! :D

[silverfox]

Thanks everyone. Great info, so far. I don't think you are rambeling, Silver Fox. I was after specifics. What you gave was an account of a real experience and the way you handled it. Great stuff. It sounds like Daryl would have some specifics, that would blow your socks off, too.

What happenes, with me anyway, is that all I can seem to think about is how these kids represent an establishment I left behind and how much I loath that establishment. I don't want to unload all that emotion on them so, I pretty much don't say anything. Most of the time I can't think of anything to say, and even though I have years of study, under my belt, it all flies away! About all I can think to do is grunt!!! :confused: Must be that lost spiritual connection that the Stake Pres. promised me!

That is why I like the stories of your real experiences. I gives me something specific that I can draw on when all else fails me. I can read a book a dozen times and three weeks later not be able to put one good sentence together to explain what I read but, If someone tells me about something that happened to them, I can remember the details for years. Go figure!? So, anyone who wan'ts to be more specific, by all means, please do so. It will help bunches.

John

P.S. I think I might tract out Isands house desguised as a lone missionary. That might be fun!!! :D

A lot of times from what I understand mishies visit ward members homes (especially if they are inactive or less active) because they don't have appointments or anything else to do.

I talked about the whole masturbation issue, too, with the mishies. We touched on a lot of "my" issues I had with the church. I was asked if I was offended by fellow members. I said, absolutley, let's first start with the profit. I am majorly offended by him and you guys should be too, IMO. Who the hell is HE to worry about how much you masturbate? I mean ,that's just sick and wrong. And if I had had any idea any bishop was asking my kids these questions as they were growing up I would have threatened to sue. Who are church leaders to discuss sexual topics with a child? That's just MESSED UP.

Anyway, I could go on and on. With grown kids of my own, the mishies seem so vulnerable to me. None of my kids went on missions (whew) but had they, I would have imagined them being very vulnerable. And that scares me.

I should add hubby didn't take my behavior with the mishies very well at times. But we survived.

[elder_nomo]

i don't advocate rudeness or meanness, but being nice just encourages them.
may i suggest a simple, polite "no thank you" followed by a closed door.
when i was a mishie, rude people were easily dismissed; nice people gave us a break; but indifferent people were so discouraging! it sometimes made me say "what the heck am i doing here?"
a question i would encourage.
just my 2c.

[miss taken]

When the last bunch of mishies came to the door, it was sunday and we were listening to classical music, they were impressed....

My hubbie was a prime target because he is not a member, and I figured well fair enough, you teach it and we'll see. So he had a couple of discussions. Mike remained himself and that was that really, they soon figured that we were not as golden as they had hoped.

Both bore really strong testimonies and did all the usual, we can feel the spirit so strong, neither of us have ever felt the spirit so strong' type of thing, but I am afraid we must be terribly hard hearted cause it didn't wash.

I think I probably got the blame for hubbie not being interested, and filling his mind with too many 'true but not helpful' facts.

Aint seen em since.

Still have a lot of respect for them though.

Mary