Adoptions within the church.......

[silverfox]

I am not very familiar with the adoption process within the LDS church. They have their own "social services" and they handle adoptions within the church. They will work with NON member girls to adopt out their children to members. That's about all I know. They have ads in the newspapers, TV, radio, etc. They are reaching out to anyone, not just Mormon girls who are pregnant.

We had some neighbors who had one child with Down's Syndrome. The dad had never held a steady job and the mom worked. The mom got cancer in her leg and it was amputated. She was still able to work. (they were pretty young, early 30's) They built a house next to us. Their downs syndrome child was about 7 yrs old. They had adopted a little boy (who was about 2 at the time they moved in) through the church who also was handicapped. He had a form of autism.

It was obvious from when we first met them that they could not afford these children OR deal with the emotional stress of raising two handicapped children. They had staggering medical bills. The dad had a hard time holding a job. They could barely pay for their home.

They ended up losing the home after a couple years and moved.

From the information they gave me they were allowed to adopt the baby through the church while they were on state welfare in addition to church welfare. And while they were in foreclosure right before they moved they were discussing adopting another special needs child through the church.

I don't understand this. I would think the church would have specific financial guidelines. ESPECIALLY when adopting out a special needs child. This couple could not afford the special care these children needed. It was a very very sad situation. Both were very depressed and on many medications.

It was a relief when they moved because it was hard to watch how those kids lived. There were times neighbors called Protective services because the kids were not being cared for properly or were running around outside in the snow with no shoes, etc. Very very sad.

Is anyone familiar with the guidelines / policies regarding church adoptions? Or do they tweak them as necessary?

Is it possible this is another avenue the church uses to increase their member numbers?

It's very disturbing to me.

[miss taken]

I am not very familiar with the adoption process within the LDS church. They have their own "social services" and they handle adoptions within the church. They will work with NON member girls to adopt out their children to members. That's about all I know. They have ads in the newspapers, TV, radio, etc. They are reaching out to anyone, not just Mormon girls who are pregnant.

We had some neighbors who had one child with Down's Syndrome. The dad had never held a steady job and the mom worked. The mom got cancer in her leg and it was amputated. She was still able to work. (they were pretty young, early 30's) They built a house next to us. Their downs syndrome child was about 7 yrs old. They had adopted a little boy (who was about 2 at the time they moved in) through the church who also was handicapped. He had a form of autism.

It was obvious from when we first met them that they could not afford these children OR deal with the emotional stress of raising two handicapped children. They had staggering medical bills. The dad had a hard time holding a job. They could barely pay for their home.

They ended up losing the home after a couple years and moved.

From the information they gave me they were allowed to adopt the baby through the church while they were on state welfare in addition to church welfare. And while they were in foreclosure right before they moved they were discussing adopting another special needs child through the church.

I don't understand this. I would think the church would have specific financial guidelines. ESPECIALLY when adopting out a special needs child. This couple could not afford the special care these children needed. It was a very very sad situation. Both were very depressed and on many medications.

It was a relief when they moved because it was hard to watch how those kids lived. There were times neighbors called Protective services because the kids were not being cared for properly or were running around outside in the snow with no shoes, etc. Very very sad.

Is anyone familiar with the guidelines / policies regarding church adoptions? Or do they tweak them as necessary?

Is it possible this is another avenue the church uses to increase their member numbers?

It's very disturbing to me.


I don't know much about this area Silverfox. My friend was thinking about adopting through the church, and in the UK the expectations were extremely high. ie. they had to be temple worthy etc...

Another friend got pregnant and was asked to give her baby up for adoption to church social services so that the child could have a 'good' life.

My friend refused, and so by golly would I. How dare they put pressure on young people to give up their children to the church adoption services.

Mary

[ifitmakesuhappy]

I don't know much about this area Silverfox. My friend was thinking about adopting through the church, and in the UK the expectations were extremely high. ie. they had to be temple worthy etc...

Another friend got pregnant and was asked to give her baby up for adoption to church social services so that the child could have a 'good' life.

My friend refused, and so by golly would I. How dare they put pressure on young people to give up their children to the church adoption services.

Mary

i also have a friend who was strongly advised to give up her baby for adoption when she got pregnant by a non-member :eek: at 18. She refused and good on her. The baby is now a 13yr old beehive class pres i think and there were another 3 children that followed. years later their father was baptised, endowed and has held many callings within the church. Imagine their heartache now if that vunerable young girl had listened to her leaders advice all those years ago.
Even if things hadnt turned out the way they did for that particular family (ie even if they had moved away from the church) i believe that child would still have been better with her real mum and dad. There must be so many sad stories out there of women who gave their children up to the LDS social services just because their bishop didnt consider them worthy, and now they suffer endless daily heartache.

[silverfox]

I suspect the church has very high "spiritual" (for lack of a better word) excpectations when it comes to adoptive families. But I wonder if what the expectations are like FINANCIALLY or emotionally.

Let me take a moment and state that I in no way feel finances = good or bad parenting. I do not at all feel that income has anything to do with how good a parent is or can be.

However, when a mother is placing her child up for adoption many times it is because of financial issues. As well as emotional issues. I imagine they want BETTER for them than they believe they can offer them. So they would want the child to go to a finanically and emotionally stable home.

From what I witnessed with my neighbors I have no doubts that the young mother who gave up her child had the understanding that he was going to be in a better situation than he ended up in. And from I witnessed he ended up in a home with parents who were on welfare, got kicked off welfare, dad had a barely above minimum paying job, mom had an okay paying job. Neither parent would take advantage of free resources to get their kids extra help (I gave them lots of information when they were complaining about no money to pay for extra education, etc)

It was almost as though they LOVED the drama they created and the attention. Oh, poor us, we have two disabled kids and no money, can't go back on welfare, they won't let us, etc, etc, etc. (I am still wondering how they managed to build a home) They had many opportunities presented to them. One neighbor - an older gentleman - offered to buy their house from them (to keep it from going into foreclosure) and then they could rent it from him for way cheap. They refused.

It was just an unbelievable situation. Heatbreaking. I still worry about those kids.

[miss taken]

I suspect the church has very high "spiritual" (for lack of a better word) excpectations when it comes to adoptive families. But I wonder if what the expectations are like FINANCIALLY or emotionally.

Let me take a moment and state that I in no way feel finances = good or bad parenting. I do not at all feel that income has anything to do with how good a parent is or can be.

However, when a mother is placing her child up for adoption many times it is because of financial issues. As well as emotional issues. I imagine they want BETTER for them than they believe they can offer them. So they would want the child to go to a finanically and emotionally stable home.

From what I witnessed with my neighbors I have no doubts that the young mother who gave up her child had the understanding that he was going to be in a better situation than he ended up in. And from I witnessed he ended up in a home with parents who were on welfare, got kicked off welfare, dad had a barely above minimum paying job, mom had an okay paying job. Neither parent would take advantage of free resources to get their kids extra help (I gave them lots of information when they were complaining about no money to pay for extra education, etc)

It was almost as though they LOVED the drama they created and the attention. Oh, poor us, we have two disabled kids and no money, can't go back on welfare, they won't let us, etc, etc, etc. (I am still wondering how they managed to build a home) They had many opportunities presented to them. One neighbor - an older gentleman - offered to buy their house from them (to keep it from going into foreclosure) and then they could rent it from him for way cheap. They refused.

It was just an unbelievable situation. Heatbreaking. I still worry about those kids.

Sounds like they had Munchausens syndrome?
Mary