New here

[taegan]

Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself since I'm new here. I'm Taegan, 26 years old and an inactive Mormon. My husband is also inactive (shame shame Mr. Bishops son! :D ). Its one of the things that kind of brought us together when we met. We're currently stationed in Ramstein, German with the Air Force and have an 18 month old son.

I've always struggled with Mormonism. I'm a very curious person and I've always lived my life by facts and science, so the religion was always a little questionable to me. It made me a VERY unpopular person in the ward because I'd constantly question my teachers about things and wanting to know what facts this or that was based on.... it drove my parents to the brink of a breakdown before they finally kicked me out for being such a bad influence on the rest of my siblings.

My husband and I had a civil wedding on the beach (fabulously lovely!) much to the disappointment of our families who were hoping we'd come around and get married in the temple. At one point, after my husband left for Basic Training we started attending church. Him on base and me back at home with his family. I even went through the temple prep class because we really wanted to give it a shot. The teacher there also became quite annoyed with me when I started asking questions about what the ceremony was like in there. I refuse to go into something without knowing EXACTLY what happens and why it happens.. well he wouldnt tell me because its some super secret crap or whatever. From then on we both pretty much fell off the apple wagon again, LOL.

When it came time to have our son blessed, we were wondering if we should or not, but I opted for doing it, "just in case." Now that my son is old enough for nursery, I've been wondering if I should start going again. Mostly because I'd love for him to be around other kids. I'm a Stay at home Mom and there are no kids in our neighborhood offbase where we live and we only have one car, so I'm usually home all the time. But it means actually GOING to church. So I've started researching and I know that I'll never go back, but I need to know the WHYS of it. I dont want to sound like an ignorant fool when family and friends ask us "why?" I want to give them a straight honest answer other then "because."

So thats it.. sorry its so long. I hope to get to know you all and learn the whys and hows of how to fully get out of this goofy religion.

~Tae

[silverfox]

Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself since I'm new here. I'm Taegan, 26 years old and an inactive Mormon. My husband is also inactive (shame shame Mr. Bishops son! :D ). Its one of the things that kind of brought us together when we met. We're currently stationed in Ramstein, German with the Air Force and have an 18 month old son.

I've always struggled with Mormonism. I'm a very curious person and I've always lived my life by facts and science, so the religion was always a little questionable to me. It made me a VERY unpopular person in the ward because I'd constantly question my teachers about things and wanting to know what facts this or that was based on.... it drove my parents to the brink of a breakdown before they finally kicked me out for being such a bad influence on the rest of my siblings.

My husband and I had a civil wedding on the beach (fabulously lovely!) much to the disappointment of our families who were hoping we'd come around and get married in the temple. At one point, after my husband left for Basic Training we started attending church. Him on base and me back at home with his family. I even went through the temple prep class because we really wanted to give it a shot. The teacher there also became quite annoyed with me when I started asking questions about what the ceremony was like in there. I refuse to go into something without knowing EXACTLY what happens and why it happens.. well he wouldnt tell me because its some super secret crap or whatever. From then on we both pretty much fell off the apple wagon again, LOL.

When it came time to have our son blessed, we were wondering if we should or not, but I opted for doing it, "just in case." Now that my son is old enough for nursery, I've been wondering if I should start going again. Mostly because I'd love for him to be around other kids. I'm a Stay at home Mom and there are no kids in our neighborhood offbase where we live and we only have one car, so I'm usually home all the time. But it means actually GOING to church. So I've started researching and I know that I'll never go back, but I need to know the WHYS of it. I dont want to sound like an ignorant fool when family and friends ask us "why?" I want to give them a straight honest answer other then "because."

So thats it.. sorry its so long. I hope to get to know you all and learn the whys and hows of how to fully get out of this goofy religion.

~Tae

Hi, Taegan and welcome to Post Mo. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I spent a couple years researching the "whys" of "losing" my faith. Actually, it happened accidently. I was doing research, trying to prove someone wrong about some minute detail regarding the Mountain Meadow Massacre (can't even remember now what it was I was trying to prove wrong). The more I uncovered and the more I tried to disprove the more I knew that everything I had been taught was a lie. I stumbled upon more and more information, more and more lies unveiled. It was actually quite devastating.

I suggest reading The 20 Truths of Mormonism.
http://trialsofascension.net/mormon.html

However, you should be warned that if your families are truly TBM they are not going to care WHY you have no interest in attending church. It simply doesn't matter. They are programed to obey the prophet, to obey church leaders and what they say will always override any proof or any feelings you have about the subject. Period. They will not EVEN be receptive. I hope your situation is different.

So don't be disappointed when all the descrepancies you can present don't mean anything to them. They won't even blink an eye.

If you have specific questions post a thread asking them and I am sure there are members here who can answer them.

Best wishes

[noodle]

Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself since I'm new here. I'm Taegan, 26 years old and an inactive Mormon. My husband is also inactive (shame shame Mr. Bishops son! :D ). Its one of the things that kind of brought us together when we met. We're currently stationed in Ramstein, German with the Air Force and have an 18 month old son.

I've always struggled with Mormonism. I'm a very curious person and I've always lived my life by facts and science, so the religion was always a little questionable to me. It made me a VERY unpopular person in the ward because I'd constantly question my teachers about things and wanting to know what facts this or that was based on.... it drove my parents to the brink of a breakdown before they finally kicked me out for being such a bad influence on the rest of my siblings.

My husband and I had a civil wedding on the beach (fabulously lovely!) much to the disappointment of our families who were hoping we'd come around and get married in the temple. At one point, after my husband left for Basic Training we started attending church. Him on base and me back at home with his family. I even went through the temple prep class because we really wanted to give it a shot. The teacher there also became quite annoyed with me when I started asking questions about what the ceremony was like in there. I refuse to go into something without knowing EXACTLY what happens and why it happens.. well he wouldnt tell me because its some super secret crap or whatever. From then on we both pretty much fell off the apple wagon again, LOL.

When it came time to have our son blessed, we were wondering if we should or not, but I opted for doing it, "just in case." Now that my son is old enough for nursery, I've been wondering if I should start going again. Mostly because I'd love for him to be around other kids. I'm a Stay at home Mom and there are no kids in our neighborhood offbase where we live and we only have one car, so I'm usually home all the time. But it means actually GOING to church. So I've started researching and I know that I'll never go back, but I need to know the WHYS of it. I dont want to sound like an ignorant fool when family and friends ask us "why?" I want to give them a straight honest answer other then "because."

So thats it.. sorry its so long. I hope to get to know you all and learn the whys and hows of how to fully get out of this goofy religion.

~Tae

Tae, welcome! You will find many friends here. You might want to take some time to read through some old threads where many of us have discussed our similar situations. Does anybody out there have the links to help her out? Anyway, I like this group because folks are supportive of whatever your circumstances and choices might be. I'm glad that you found us!

mamajama

[silverfox]

Tae, welcome! You will find many friends here. You might want to take some time to read through some old threads where many of us have discussed our similar situations. Does anybody out there have the links to help her out? Anyway, I like this group because folks are supportive of whatever your circumstances and choices might be. I'm glad that you found us!

mamajama

I suggest using the SEARCH OPTION. (located toward the top right below where it say's "Welcome, and then has your user name")

You can type any keyword. Any thread that includes that word will be displayed. Let me know if you need more direction, Tae.

[twine]

Taegan,

Welcome to our community! I believe you will find this site most helpful as you progress out of and away from the Mormon church. There are some amazingly thoughtful posts on this site. Take the time to read them. Again, welcome.

Kris in Idaho

[free thinker]

Thanks for serving our counrty in the military. That alone earns you my honor and respect!!

Welcome to reality!! This site was started by, and is administered by, some very freindly, and quite intelligent folks. Also many members who make it interesting, and sometimes downright hilarious!! I have cried and laughed here!! I have found my experience here beyond any expectations I had on my first visit!!

This site is not fear motivated !! Ask any question you want!! You will get more honesty here in five minutes, than you would at a ward in twenty years!! :rolleyes:

Free Thinker

[shamdiel]

So thats it.. sorry its so long. I hope to get to know you all and learn the whys and hows of how to fully get out of this goofy religion.

~Tae

Welcome Tae; Silverfox's comments were right on. Your family is probably not going to listen to any of your reasons for leaving the church. They will dismiss any logical or fact based reasons you may have as just delusions on your part. I would guess that most of us, that vist this site, have had identical experiences with our families. It is not pleasant to try to reason with family and any discussion can esclate into a down right mean and/or violent confrontation. It would suprise you how easily this can happen.

You will find they will try to convince you, of the error of your ways, by kindness or by saying that they love you and are concerned about you, then they will try reason. In a Mormon's case that will be manifest by bearing their testimony of the church and it's leaders. They will probably throw in a few scriptures as well. If all of this fails to convince you then comes anger and the threats. :mad: Things like HELL and OUTER DARKNESS and, "Your children should be sealed to you!" etc... Your are lucky to be in a foriegn country. This could save you from the really mean face to face confrontations.

Best advice; Be true to you and give little or no thought to what your family thinks. The object is to find joy in your life!!! :) Be kind, let them know that you still love them and you know that they find joy and happiness in their religion and that is fine with you; it (the religion) just doesn't work for you anymore. Try to avoid the confrontations, at all cost, if you can! It will only cause a lot of heartache, for both sides, and it is a long way back once you go there. They are your family and it is not worth losing them over this. If the arguments do break out, let there be one fool and not two. Be the bigger person and refuse to fight! Tell them that you respect them and their decisions and that you still love them and that you hope and pray that they will do the same for you. They need to respect the fact that you are an adult and fully capable of making the best decisions for yourself.

This can be very hard but have found a very good site with very helpful people. You will be getting alot of good advice. I will help. Good luck and God bless you on your journey;

John