defending mo'ism

[elder_nomo]

the topic of mo'ism rarely comes up around me, but a few times when it has, i've found myself not knowing what to say when misconceptions or false ideas about the church are presented.
for example, i've had people tell me that mormons are not christian. i'm not talking about those who say mormons are not "real" christians because blah-blah-blah. i mean people who think mormons do not believe in christ at all.
and there was someone else who told me that mormons are not allowed to dance (apparently confusing mo's with the amish or something).
and yet another person who said that mormons don't use the bible because they have "replaced" it with the BoM.

anyway, stuff like that - you get the picture.
i am usually torn about what to say.

part of me wants to just keep quiet and let them believe whatever they've heard. hey, it's not my job to straighten people out about the morg! [and i have to admit that a little bit of me rather enjoys some of the weirder misconceptions.]

on the other hand, it's hard to hear false statements being presented as fact, no matter the topic. maybe it's just leftover mo programming, but i do usually end up speaking up and correcting them.
but yuck!! then i feel like i'm "sticking up" for mo'ism and worst of all, there's the inevitable follow-up question: "hey.....how do you know so much about the mormons?" :eek:

how do other post-mo's handle this?

[Born Free]

on the other hand, it's hard to hear false statements being presented as fact, no matter the topic. maybe it's just leftover mo programming, but i do usually end up speaking up and correcting them.
but yuck!! then i feel like i'm "sticking up" for mo'ism and worst of all, there's the inevitable follow-up question: "hey.....how do you know so much about the mormons?" :eek:

how do other post-mo's handle this?
elder_nomo,

I don't like the facts being screwed with anywhere if possible, so if I hear untruths about Moism being repeated, I state that to the best of my knowledge.

That said, I would usually follow it with something like:

I have some knowledge as an ExMo with about 30 years membership.

That there is plenty else that is truthful that is far more problematic about Moism, and if they are interested, point them at some good sources of serious critiques.

I don't see that as programming. I don't like untruths to go unchecked on any subject of consequence.

Daryl

[formermormon]

Nomo,

I hear you. I feel like it's sort of like when somebody disses your dad - maybe the guy drives you insane and sometimes you want to choke him, but he's YOUR dad, and they have no right. I realize that this is a little off from the misconceptions issue, but I find that I end up defending the mormon church a little in such circumstances. Especially when the topic is polygamy. I'm sure this has something to do with me being an 8th generation mormon or whatever, but it still feels a little like "my people" even though I think they are misguided, misogynistic, homophobic, authoritarian, etc. (oh yeah, and I think those things are bad).

And - it's just a general policy of mine to try to get the facts straight - especially if it's something I know a little something about. I mean, there's plenty of legitimate weirdness about the LDS church - there's no point in letting people believe the horns or hole-in-the-sheet thing when magic rocks are ripe for the plucking.

And I too, get uncomfortable when somebody at a cocktail party starts to wonder why I know so much about it. I still don't like being judged by that background rather than other things about me - especially since people see it as so fringe and bizarre. It also doesn't help that I grew up in Utah, so every time I meet somebody new and they ask the inevitable "where are you from" - the mo question is imminent. Anybody have a graceful way of dealing with it?

[free thinker]

I think I would lean towards correcting the error. If probed ,I would just tell the truth about my disaffection. The condensed version of course!! ;)

Free Thinker

[silverfox]

I think I would lean towards correcting the error. If probed ,I would just tell the truth about my disaffection. The condensed version of course!! ;)

Free Thinker

Me, too. I would try to give an explanation as to why many believe the misinformation (they don't believe Mos are Christian because so much focus is on Joe Smith within the church, no dancing maybe because there are sometimes strict rules at dances or maybe because non members are not allowed at church dances or one can't attend without a "recommend" from their bishop, etc)

I would let them probe further. If asked, I will tell why I am no longer a member but I don't go around flaunting it.

[nate]

I'm in agreement with just about everything that's been said here. Truth is truth, and always worth defending, no matter the topic. Plus, it is kind of like defending your parents. Actually, for me, it is exactly like defending my parents. I don't like people walking around thinking that my family are horned people without the capacity to enjoy a good dance, etc.

I too, always get "the question" after telling people that I'm from Utah. I provide them with a simple, truthful answer, "I was raised Mormon", and I leave it at that. If people are really interested at that point, I have no problems with telling them about my upbringing, or the reasons why I left.

I CAN see how people can think that Mormons have "replaced" the Bible with the BoM. In some ways they actually have. Not formally, and they still teach the bible stories to the children and reference bible scripture from time to time...but usually only when they can't find a suitable reference in the BoM. You don't see too many TBM's reaching for their Bible BEFORE reaching for the BoM. It just doesn't happen very often, and in some ways is subtely discouraged (see Articles of Faith).

[peter_mary]

Here's how I look at it. The falsehoods that are spread about Mormonism are as hurtful to the Mormons as the truth about Mormonism. I remember growing up non-Mormon and hearing the most AMAZINGLY erotic stories about what went on the in temple. Imagine my enormous disappointment when I finally got there! :D

Anyway, those kinds of falsehoods are hurtful to the well meaning people, like my in-laws, whom I love. I don't want to let those go unaddressed any more than I want to let go unaddressed the assertian that "atheist" is synonymous with "Satanic." It's the missinformation that we have about each other that divides us a LOT more than it is the honest information we have.

And I'm not nearly as uncomfortable telling people that I used to be Mormon as I was admiting it when I was Mormon! I figure that if someone thinks less of me for having been on a journey that took me through that particular faith system, then it is they who are belittled by it, not me.

So I don't see myself "defending" Mormonism so much as I am defending truth and integrity, where ever I find it.

Peter_mary

[flotsam]

I had this weird experience when I was taking an environmental literature course. We read Terry Tempest Williams' book Refuge, which talks alot about her Mormonism. Anyway, I was leading the discussion, as it was my assignment. And oddly enough the entire class got into a "I heard the Mormons this..." "I hate the Mormons that..." It went on for an hour! And all of them already knew I was a Mormon.

It was so weird. It made me want to say. "Yeah, and them colored folk, they be descended from apes; them Kike's, they's have big noses; and as for them homos and their green monkeys and all." :duh

It's like the Mos are one of the last bastions of open ridicule we have left. I guess we better enjoy it. ;) If it can go on in a liberal university full of tree huggers, I guess it can go on anywhere.

Eventually we started wondering why we were so free with our ridicule, when Baptists and Presbyterians seem to slip by unscathed. One perceptive member of the class hypothesized, "It's because the Mormons aren't afraid of us."

I still think about that comment. It probably explains why Mormon missionaries go relatively unharmed through ghettos and dark alleys. Everyone knows that if they mug a missionary, they're going to get preached at. If there's one thing worse than a mugging, it's a preaching.

But it's true, Mos aren't afraid. Instead of fighting you off, they'll cook up a casserole and pester you till you join 'em. Couldn't they just stay in their compounds and reproduce till they could provide the entire army of Gog? At least then we'd know where they are. ;)

After the discussion settled into more literary matters, one of the classmembers said, "You know, TTW doesn't sound like a Mormon to me, she sounds more like a Native American." That was kind of the first time I really started seeing the possibility that Mormonism could possibly be defined more broadly than it is now. Instead of having to think the same way everyone else does, you have a particular set of myths that you can interpret with as much imagination as you've got. Moism as a lauching pad instead of a raquetball court.

Of course, in the real world I know it's more difficult than that, and that orthodoxy really is considered a higher good than spirituality.

[miss taken]

My hubbie bought me a David Icke book for christmas thinking it was about the Matrix (a film I love), it had the most ridiculous stuff in it about the mormons (put it this way he thinks the Queen Mother was a blood sucking lizzard), that are not even worth repeating. I hate it when people say that mormons are not christians, because I believe that theologically they are. Put it this way, when I was in the church, I looked on myself as christian first, (though at college I was not able to join the CU because of my belief in the BOM), and LDS second.


Nowadays, I get all the normal stuff, polygamy and so forth. My relatives thought it was a dangerous cult (confused it with the Moonies).

I used to say that it wasn't a cult, because I chose, and was not separated from my family. Now I am not so sure what to say when people ask whether it is a cult or not. Depends on the definition of cult...

Mary