best way to get the missionaries to stop visiting?

[somedude1]

I currently attend BYU and I live in one of the on-campus dorms... and I am currently being visited by Missionaries giving me lessons. My only intention of having these lessons in the beginning was to get more info to help me with my religion classes and better understand the people and their values all around me. I told the missionaries at the very beginning that "I'm going to let you know right now that I really don't have any intention of joining the church for the moment. All I am trying to do right now is gather information about LDS people and their religion and possibly make a decision at a later time in my life, sorry if I waste your time." (i couldnt tell them that I have no intention of joining and that im only trying to get additional free help with my religion classes).... I now see how much of a mistake that was. They are tellign me now to pray to god and ask if the church is true, asking me to read sections from the book of mormon before they come meet again, and are bascially trying to shove their religion down my throat with a big stick. What is the best way to let them know that I don't want them to come by anymore? If i tell them the next time I meet with them that I don't want them coming by anymore, i fear that news will spread throughout my floor that I was "mean to the missionaries" and im "unfaithful" and all... and i will face rejection from my peers. My religion professor has also said in class that "you may not know it, but your ward bishop knows you by name, even if you haven't met him" (im in an intro to mormonism class... all non-mo's), and that we non-mo's are discussed about regularily at church meetings and such on if we are interested in the church, how we are doing, etc etc....

can anyone help me out here? I obviously can't ask anyone this question here on campus.... :confused:

Is there any phone # i can call to let the missionaries know I don't want them to come by my room anymore, so I don't have to do this is person infront of all my hallmates? :confused: :confused: :confused:

[silverfox]

I currently attend BYU and I live in one of the on-campus dorms... and I am currently being visited by Missionaries giving me lessons. My only intention of having these lessons in the beginning was to get more info to help me with my religion classes and better understand the people and their values all around me. I told the missionaries at the very beginning that "I'm going to let you know right now that I really don't have any intention of joining the church for the moment. All I am trying to do right now is gather information about LDS people and their religion and possibly make a decision at a later time in my life, sorry if I waste your time." (i couldnt tell them that I have no intention of joining and that im only trying to get additional free help with my religion classes).... I now see how much of a mistake that was. They are tellign me now to pray to god and ask if the church is true, asking me to read sections from the book of mormon before they come meet again, and are bascially trying to shove their religion down my throat with a big stick. What is the best way to let them know that I don't want them to come by anymore? If i tell them the next time I meet with them that I don't want them coming by anymore, i fear that news will spread throughout my floor that I was "mean to the missionaries" and im "unfaithful" and all... and i will face rejection from my peers. My religion professor has also said in class that "you may not know it, but your ward bishop knows you by name, even if you haven't met him" (im in an intro to mormonism class... all non-mo's), and that we non-mo's are discussed about regularily at church meetings and such on if we are interested in the church, how we are doing, etc etc....

can anyone help me out here? I obviously can't ask anyone this question here on campus.... :confused:

Is there any phone # i can call to let the missionaries know I don't want them to come by my room anymore, so I don't have to do this is person infront of all my hallmates? :confused: :confused: :confused:


I've never attended YBU. Thank goodness. But I've heard stories just like yours. YBU is the PERFECT way for the church to sink their teeth into NON members.

Isn't it silly that you have to worry about losing your peers only because you don't want to join their religion???? Typical of the depth of friendships you will find in Mo'ism. Very conditional.

I am sorry you have to worry about how others will react to your decision.

And I am sorry to say that now no matter what you do, whether you tell the mishies you are not interested or not the pressure will remain if not increase. Because you showed interest to the mishies they will NOT let up so easily. They will NOT want to lose you. You will become a bigger challenge and they will fight hard to keep you in their clutches. You may get MORE attention from them by telling them you are no longer interested.

I don't know. It all depends on who they are talking to. If you have peers they are communicating with they may be telling them to not give up. All your TBM peers will continue to persuade you, I suspect.

Tell the mishies you prayed if the church was true and an angel appeared to you and told you to RUN !!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! FAR AWAY FROM THE CHURCH!!!! IT IS EVIL AND WILL SUCK YOUR LOVE OF LIFE FROM YOUR SOUL!!!!

At worst you will be labeled schizo and lose all your peers.

Okay, sorry. I really don't know how to advise. Because I know they will not give up on you. Your peers won't give up. And no doubt you ARE being discussed in several circles within the church.

Hey, is transfering schools an option? What is YBU offering that no other college can? (I've always wondered about that)

Oh and yes there is a phone number - the mishies should have their own phone number, ask for it. Let's see what the other folks around here have to say.

[dogzilla]

And even if, by some miraculous chance, you managed to get this particular pair of mishies to stop visiting you, realize that these two will cycle out to other assignments and two others will show up in their place. (Sort of like Medusa... or was that Medea? No, it was the Hydra: lop one head off and two pop up in its place.) Generally the Ward Mission Leader keeps some sort of record or log about who visits whom and your name will be on the list as an investigator until you die or get baptised, whichever comes first. So the next pair will assume that the first pair was completely incompetent, so they will come to see you and attempt to succeed where the other pair failed. And so on, until you die or ... you know. :p

And don't even think about moving to another room or another floor, or even another dorm (or another state, as I can attest). Mormon missionaries are exactly like Victoria's Secret catalogs: you could go away to another country for the weekend and they would still track you down to (hand you a catalog) bring you their message. That's why they call them missionaries: 'cause they're on a MISSION. From God. Their mortal soul depends on their success so they're singleminded and dogged in their persistence.

("We have $50, half a pack of cigarettes, and it's a hundred miles to Chicago."

"Hit it.")

Sorry, uncontrollable Blues Brothers reference. My advice: transfer to another school that offers the same programs you're majoring in. I assure you, BYU is not the be-all, end-all bestest school in the whole wide world. You can get a fine education there, but you can get a fine education at at least a hundred other schools where you wouldn't have to put up with these shenanigans.

I still haven't heard a satisfactory explanation from you as to why you insist on attending this school. I'm going to suggest that if you insist on staying at BYU despite our best efforts to convince you that a solid, affordable education is available elsewhere, we're going to have to stop offering advice. Your posts remind me of someone who complains that it hurts when he keeps whacking himself in the head with a big mallet. If you'd just stop with the mallet... it won't hurt any more.

[jmkm]

I think if you choose to stay at BYU, you can get rid of the missionaries by telling them you had a long discussion with your parents about Mormonism, and they made you promise to graduate from college before you made a decision about converting. Tell them that you know they respect the parent/child relationship, (even though they don't ) and just leave it at that.

Tell them, it was very nice of them to come over, and you've learned a lot about the religion, but at this time, you just are going to continue researching it on your own, but if you have any questions you'll be sure to call them. Wish them well, and if they send people over etc...tell them you just don't have time to meet with them, and then walk out the door, or pretend like you're going somewhere. Or look hurt, and say that you appreciate their coming over, but you have to respect your parents wishes, unfortunatly you just CAN'T invite them in.

Trust me, this will work. You may have to send people away, but at least it won't be YOU sending them away, it will be "your parents".

I almost went to BYU as a non-member. I had to get interviewed by a bishop and a stake prez. But I wanted to get baptized, etc... I got in, and my parents flipped out and said they would never help me pay for college if I decided to go there. I didn't end up going, and my parents didn't pay anyway...I don't know how I would have handled all their weird rules. I admire you for trying.

In my opinion...the best relationship to have with mormons is to be a little interested some of the time. It keeps them in a frenzy of love. The minute you convert, that "love" will end, and you'll be a busy worker bee....just like they are. (or at least they'll expect you to be just like them) When you aren't a member they are forgiving, and not as judgemental of you, because you have an excuse YOUR NOT A MEMBER. When you join it's guilt guilt guilt, and shame shame shame.

[silverfox]

It is ridiculous ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS that this NON member can't just be honest.

You've learned the most valuable lesson of all - Mo'ism IS very conditional. Now run, Forrest , run!!!!

[dogzilla]

It is ridiculous ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS that this NON member can't just be honest.

You've learned the most valuable lesson of all - Mo'ism IS very conditional. Now run, Forrest , run!!!!

I agree with this. JMKM's advice suggests he (she?) has not experienced the joy of trying to get rid of the missionaries. If you have to resort to passive-aggressive deceptions, you're not really doing yourself any favors.

My other suggestion would be to hit on them. :D
Drape your arm around one of their shoulders, look deep into their eyes, and ask if they're single, or busy on Friday night. Invite both to come along, "you can bring your little friend if you want..." with a wink and a leer. Should send just the one pair screaming from your doorstep. Unless one of 'em is gay, in which case you might just get lucky! :eek:

LOL

[somedude1]

im already a step ahead of you... i've already applied to another university ive been interested in, and I have been accepted already as well. I'm using it as a back-door out if i decide to leave here. Also... not one person has ever asked me or tried in any way to convert me here at BYU besides these missionaries, contrary to what some might believe, everyone is quite respectful on my floor that I'm of a different religion (as well as about 5 other people on my floor as well are non-mo too). I can't really go into great detail as to why i decided to transfer here, lets just leave it at my ex-roommate from last semester at my previous university now has a criminal record for the things that were done to me. I got a letter of apology from the president of the university as well, but the situation was not going to be fixed so I decided to leave and go to BYU which still held my acceptance throughout the whole year instead of just the previous fall semester. There are other reasons too besides the ones I outlined before in my intro thread too...

Do you happen to know how I might be able to find the phone # of my missionaries? Its not like anyone is going to have any success trying to convert me... and no one has shunned me or tried to keep me away because im a non-mo as well... i guess im just over-reacting a bit. I might just tell the missionaries that I have no desire to continue the meetings next time they come if all else fails... or try it jmkm's way :) And if they keep sending waves of em even if i keep requesting for them to stop.... then S*** will hit the fan! :p :D

EDIT: dogzilla: LOL!!! I think i might just stick to jmkm's advice on this one though :D

[jmkm]

We would assume the people who live next door to you would be in the same ward you would be in (if you were a member) because of location. Find out through them what the Mish's home number is, or find out who the "Ward Clerk" is. Call that person, tell them you have a scheduling conflict with a meeting you have with the missionaries, and he will give you their number. (or find it for you)

PS: I'm female, and have had MUCHO experience dealing with them. I'm just more deceitful than you are dogzilla. I really WISH I could just lay it out there for everyone, but I prefer to be sneaky. I'm one of those people who are really bothered when people don't like me, even if I don't know them or like them. It's completely retarded, but I can't help it.

[jmkm]

You know, also, I feel really bad for the missionaries. They are so young and hopefull, and full of it. Of course some of them are irritating, but for the most part, they are trying to do what they think is best. I think it's cruel to send them away in a mean way. I see them and I feel really sorry for them. Of course I don't think you should debase yourself just so they can have a "moment" of spirituality. If you wanted to be more honest, just tell them you aren't ready to hear their message, and you'd like some space. They are people too, they will understand, and it sounds like you aren't dealing with a lot of people (in your dorm) who think you're going to convert, and have all these expectations for you. Just firm up your boundaries.

[peter_mary]

I've got a great idea. Here's what you do.

Go find an old run-down house in Provo somewhere, and have the parental units spring for a down payment. And then tell the missionaries that you are interested, but you really need to understand the sincerity of their message. Are you teaching me because you love me, or because you have a quota to reach?

Tell them you need help hanging drywall. Tell them you need help redoing the plumbing and wiring. Let them yammer on while they work, that's okay. Tune 'em out.

Just keep letting them teach you and help you, until one day, you graduate, sell the house, make a tidy little profit, and leave un-baptized. Or...they'll just leave you alone once you start bringing out the hammers and nails.

Either way, it's a win for you!

Or you can just hit on 'em like dogzilla suggested. That'll work! :D

Peter_Mary

[dogzilla]

When you're dealing with Mormons, sex can be an effective weapon.

:: ducking and running ::

[somedude1]

I managed to get their phone number... do you suggest I call them and tell them nicely I don't want them to come by anymore (I'm not a mean person and I don't wanna be), or would you recommend to do it in person to them when they show up for my next scheduled meeting? Which has the better chance of more missionaries not showing up at my door and trying to invite themselves in? (im guessing neither... lol :D ). Calling them will prevent them from having to make the trip for nothing... so Im thinking of doing that. Im the same way as you jmkm, I don't like people thinking negatively of me even if i don't know them...

[jmkm]

Call them, don't wast your time or theirs. Besides, if you meet with them, which they WILL want to do, they will give you their testimonies, and all that BS to play on your emotions...Don't even let them go there. Just call, be firm....Good luck!

[elder_nomo]

i was all on board with jmkm's suggestion to blame it on the parents. but then there was all this pesky "truth" business.....
so, my suggestion is to call your parents and tell them you are considering joining the mo church. tell them how they won't be able to come to your wedding and how you'll be after them to join too. tell them about peepstones and polygamy.
i bet after that, you can blame it on your parents AND tell the truth.

[jmkm]

i was all on board with jmkm's suggestion to blame it on the parents. but then there was all this pesky "truth" business.....
so, my suggestion is to call your parents and tell them you are considering joining the mo church. tell them how they won't be able to come to your wedding and how you'll be after them to join too. tell them about peepstones and polygamy.
i bet after that, you can blame it on your parents AND tell the truth.

That is a GREAT idea! Ha ha ha... It is best to tell the truth. I need to be more honest about my beliefs with TBM's. I wish I could just lay it out for them, and feel comfortable. I guess I keep telling myself I'm lying to protect them. (or mostly lying by omission) I don't want to hurt their feelings. I probably should look at it the way they do...if they only knew the "truth" it would "save" them.

[sgvguy69]

Hey, I was a missionary once. So from my point of view the best response would be to hear what they have to say, ponder, even pray. What is there to be afraid of? If their story is full of holes point it out. If you don't "FEEL" good about the message, say so. "I've pondered and prayed and I don't get a good feeling about this". There. simple.The best weapon against their subjective proof (feelings) is your subjective objection.

If they question your feelings (and they will). Ask them the following question:

1) Are you suggesting that my feelings are less valid than yours?

2) Are you attacking my character?

They will ask you to read and pray again. Here's what you could ask them:

1) Look, if you lost an election, should you insist on recounting the votes until you get the result you like? Or accept the fact that you lost?

2) Ok, I've read the Book of Mormon. I've listened to you. I'm attending classes that are heavily slanted to your point of view. I'm surrounded by friends and room mates that all want me trust that their "feelings" about the Church are true. Even after all this, my feelings tell me there's something wrong here. Why should I trust your feelings more than my own?

To be a no-mo at BYU is to your advantage. You are not required to believe all this stuff. Further more, you can freely tell them WHY you don't believe it without fear of being booted out. If they treat you differently, point it out to them! Trust me, they can take it.

[dogzilla]

Well, it hitting on them doesn't work, I supposesgvguy69's suggestion is a pretty good one.

Welcome sgvguy69! Great advice!

[Born Free]

Hey, I was a missionary once. So from my point of view the best response would be to hear what they have to say, ponder, even pray. What is there to be afraid of? If their story is full of holes point it out. If you don't "FEEL" good about the message, say so. "I've pondered and prayed and I don't get a good feeling about this". There. simple.The best weapon against their subjective proof (feelings) is your subjective objection.


I love it!! Make the invisible visible!!

Such an approach makes the wobbly process they use very visible; indeed shines the spotlight on it full blast.

I want to remember that!

Daryl