Reason women should have sex before marriage?

[helemon]

Any comments on this? Should women have sex before marriage to make sure the man can make her orgasm or just hope that he is a quick learner?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,1501297,00.html
Women who fail to orgasm during sex may be genetically programmed to weed out unreliable men who are a flop between the sheets, according to new research.

The findings suggest the failure of some women to orgasm regularly is not a dysfunction, but a sophisticated mate-selection strategy that evolved during prehistoric times.

Tim Spector of St Thomas's hospital in London, who led the research, said: "The theory is that the orgasm is an evolutionary way of seeing if men can prove themselves to be likely good providers or dependable, patient and caring enough to look after the kids."

Women who orgasm very easily may be more likely to be satisfied with poor quality men.

"Perhaps women who had orgasms too easily weren't very good selectors," Professor Spector said. "It paid women to be more fussy and this is one way of doing it. The simple fact is that it takes women on average 12 minutes and men two and a half minutes to reach orgasm. Adjusting to that imbalance is a test."

The genetic control over how easily women experience an orgasm during sex shows it is subject to evolutionary pressure, which means it must confer a biological advantage.

One theory is that orgasms promote fertility. Studies have shown that women are slightly more likely to have an orgasm when they are ovulating. There is also evidence that the uptake of sperm is increased when a woman climaxes. But if this were the only explanation, all women would have orgasms.

"The theory I prefer is the mate selection theory," Prof Spector said. "If a man is considered powerful enough, strong enough, or thoughtful enough in bed or in the cave, then he's likely to hang around as a long-term partner and be a better bet for bringing up children."

[free thinker]

I'm still a virgin so I dont know much about this kinda stuff!! ;)


Oh, and by the way. Last night an angel named Moroni appeared to me, and told me of where there are golden plates that contain an ancient record of the inhabitants of my area. :cool:


Free Thinker

[miss taken]

In the words of the great Tina Turner...


What's love got to do, got to do with it (then?)

Disagree totally I am afraid. Of course if the sex drives are totally out of sinc or if one has desires the other doesn't have (S & M for instance on Desperate HWives) then that may cause difficulties, as well as if one believes in monogamy and the other doesn't.

But I am a firm believer that Love, Twoo Wuv, conquers all. (Hopeless romantic am I!)

Mary

[taegan]

LOL interesting theory! Maybe there's something to that... DH was the only man to make me orgasm through intercourse and believe me, I tried out several men. He's also a fabulous provider and a "manly man." hmmmm...interesting!

Although I still stick with the old saying... Test drive the car before you buy it. Example: My friend Amy is a TBM all the way. She dated Jesse for about 6 months and they got married, they were TOTALLY in love (ie: lust). A few months after they got married she confided she was thinking of annuling their marriage because her DH believed that sex was for procreation only. In the 4 months she'd been married, they'd only had sex while she was ovulating. He believed only in missionary style sex. See... had she tried out her man before she commited, she'd have saved herself a lot of pain! They are now divorced.

[dogzilla]

What a bunch of hooey! 12 minutes to orgasm?


Psssh. Amateurs.


All I need is a 3-minute commercial break and my buzzy little friend. :o

[Born Free]

What a bunch of hooey! 12 minutes to orgasm?

Psssh. Amateurs.

All I need is a 3-minute commercial break and my buzzy little friend. :o

I have a freind who recently returned from a stint with the United Nations in East Timor, where the unattached females refer to going home at the end of a night out with Bob (battery operated boyfriend).

If there is any evolutionary role of arousability, and the evidence appears to be pointing that way, the impact of Bob sure muddies the water.

Dogzilla, you surprise me. :eek: Teenage boys race to see who can get off the fastest. Here I am encouraging mature guys to make it last as long as possible! :)

Daryl

[dogzilla]

I have a freind who recently returned from a stint with the United Nations in East Timor, where the unattached females refer to going home at the end of a night out with Bob (battery operated boyfriend).

If there is any evolutionary role of arousability, and the evidence appears to be pointing that way, the impact of Bob sure muddies the water.

Dogzilla, you surprise me. :eek: Teenage boys race to see who can get off the fastest. Here I am encouraging mature guys to make it last as long as possible! :)

Daryl

LOL. Oh, no, please don't misunderstand. Keep encouraging those boys. I wish more of 'em had the skill, so to speak.

Going home with Bob is sort of a last resort. (For me anyway.) It just happens to be convenient that it's a quick "date." When when another actual living, breathing human, I'd probably prefer something more along the lines of 12 minutes... ;)

But when a girl is out of balance and no male energy to be found... Bob can be a girl's best friend. :D

[silverfox]

LOL interesting theory! Maybe there's something to that... DH was the only man to make me orgasm through intercourse and believe me, I tried out several men. He's also a fabulous provider and a "manly man." hmmmm...interesting!

Although I still stick with the old saying... Test drive the car before you buy it. Example: My friend Amy is a TBM all the way. She dated Jesse for about 6 months and they got married, they were TOTALLY in love (ie: lust). A few months after they got married she confided she was thinking of annuling their marriage because her DH believed that sex was for procreation only. In the 4 months she'd been married, they'd only had sex while she was ovulating. He believed only in missionary style sex. See... had she tried out her man before she commited, she'd have saved herself a lot of pain! They are now divorced.

Is this really due to lack of test driving or lack of open communication? Although they were TBM and didn't have sex prior to marriage they should have been discussing the very important issue of sex. But TBMs are uncomfortable with that because that is how they are conditioned.

I don't understand why leaders don't open up the line of communication regarding sex. It should be a topic that all members should be able to discuss openly and comfortably.

Had this gal known of her husband's ideas regarding sex prior to marriage she could have avoided the issues or at least addressed them prior to the sale.

My ideas regarding premarital sex is to let it happen naturally. If it happens, fine. If not at least talk about it. And if it does happen don't spend years and years of guilt and shame over something that is very natural.

Just be responsible and prepared (ie birth control, protected sex, etc) so if it does happen the aftermath will include fond memories and much less worry.

[templenamesarah]

What a bunch of hooey! 12 minutes to orgasm?


Psssh. Amateurs.


All I need is a 3-minute commercial break and my buzzy little friend. :o

This makes my face sad. :( I must be super-de-duper amateur because usually no O for me at all, even if I take all night with a vibrator hooked up to the car battery. Maybe I could channel all that frustrated sexual energy and become a crime-fighting superhero: Anorgasmic Girl! :::theme music:::

[templenamesarah]

My ideas regarding premarital sex is to let it happen naturally. If it happens, fine. If not at least talk about it. And if it does happen don't spend years and years of guilt and shame over something that is very natural.

Just be responsible and prepared (ie birth control, protected sex, etc) so if it does happen the aftermath will include fond memories and much less worry.

Silverfox, will you adopt me? Your words are so sensible and comforting.

[silverfox]

Silverfox, will you adopt me? Your words are so sensible and comforting.

:) :) :)

I only wish I would have figured this out looooong time ago for myself and for my kids.

Luckily I figured it out at least while my youngest two are at home.

[free thinker]

Going home with Bob is sort of a last resort. (For me anyway.) It just happens to be convenient that it's a quick "date." When when another actual living, breathing human, I'd probably prefer something more along the lines of 12 minutes...


Damn, Bob gets all the action!! :(

I read a Mens Health article this week in which the author, ( a male), attended a party for women where they display and sell the latest hardware!! Apparently these are kinda like Mary Kay parties sept a little wilder!!

Here are some of the names for the new equipment.

The Clitopatra

The Jack rabbitt :confused:

The Playful Plug :p

The Lilac Elephant :eek:

Now girls, with such a choice what will become of us men?

Reminds me of the song by the Dresden Dolls " Coin Operated Boy" !!

Oh well , woe is me, what shall I do now?

Free Thinker

[helemon]

The Jack rabbitt :confused:

I think this is like the elephant but uses its ears rather than the trunk.

The Playful Plug :p

Bullet vibes are a favorite with my wife but this device sounds like it is meant for somewhere else.

The Lilac Elephant :eek:

Don't get this one. The trunk is too long. Wife says while the rotating is interesting and arousing it can make her feel violated. A bit too much action with some of these.

Now girls, with such a choice what will become of us men?

Yeah, I doubt evolution is ever going to cause us to develop similar traits to these sex toys. The male species may be doomed to extinction! Especially now that reproduction can be done with cloning. Women can give birth to their very own mini me. And since machines can now do all the heavy lifting and manual labor men are becoming the apendix of the human species. :eek: Maybe Ed can save us and say that the world still needs male energy that cannot be duplicated by something powered by the energizer bunny.

[helemon]

This makes my face sad. :( I must be super-de-duper amateur because usually no O for me at all, even if I take all night with a vibrator hooked up to the car battery. Maybe I could channel all that frustrated sexual energy and become a crime-fighting superhero: Anorgasmic Girl! :::theme music:::

This must be very frustrating for you and your hubby. Have you talked with your doctor about this? There are some treatments to help women be more aroused. I assume you have tried various toys and explored with hubby what types of things get you aroused. My wife tells me that bob if relied on too much can make it more difficult to achieve the O using other methods. There are a lot of good sex books out there like the classic the Joy of Sex, 101 nights of Grrrreat Sex is pretty good. We only looked at a few though. It always took too much prep time to do many of them and we were/are busy.

[templenamesarah]

This must be very frustrating for you and your hubby. Have you talked with your doctor about this? There are some treatments to help women be more aroused. I assume you have tried various toys and explored with hubby what types of things get you aroused. My wife tells me that bob if relied on too much can make it more difficult to achieve the O using other methods. There are a lot of good sex books out there like the classic the Joy of Sex, 101 nights of Grrrreat Sex is pretty good. We only looked at a few though. It always took too much prep time to do many of them and we were/are busy.

It comes and goes (NPI). Yes, it can be very frustrating at times but we are learning to have a sense of humor about the whole situation. I am fairly sure that my problem has mostly to do with the organ between my ears rather than anything between my legs.

[why me]

Perhaps the words 'sex before marriage' is not the best way to describe it. What about if we change sex before marriage to 'sexual relationship before marriage'? Sex before marriage sounds to much like bar hopping. But a sexual relationship sounds more like a learning experience with someone who is cared about and cared for---it becomes a relationship that is enhanced by sex. It could be a good idea to have sex with someone you love and a strong desire to test the sexual waters with that someone. If the sex is bad...the relationship can head south rather quickly as was already mentioned in these posts. But it will not be easy for a TBM to get into this mindset. He or she would have to have a liberal attitude and a good rationalization process for the mind to adjust. And then the guilt involved for some could take the enjoyment away completely. A good discussion with your partner about sex and life could help and a surety that if you do it...there will be no regrets... :) will definitely make the act more enjjoyable... :)