Incan knots

[helemon]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4143968.stm
Experts say one bunch of knots appears to identify a city, marking the first intelligible word from the extinct South American civilisation.

The coloured, knotted pieces of string, known as khipu, are believed to have been used for accounting information.

Dang, and here I thought they used metal plates for record keeping? :duh

[peter_mary]

These so-called "scientists" and their so-called "computers" coming up with their so-called "hypothesis" are obviously MORONS. If they were MORMONS they would see that they are WRONG. Allow me to demonstrate:

:: puts on FARMS hat::

They have UTTERLY mistranslated the city name "Parachuco." They came close, but close is not good enough in the Kingdom of Heaven. The city OBVIOUSLY is Zarahemla.

Observe.

To begin with, you have the OBVIOUS same number of letters and same number of syllables. Any dolt can see that. FURTHERMORE, they DID in fact get the letters in positions 2, 3 and 4 exactly correct, i.e. "ara", with the emphasis on the 3rd syllable in both words...MORE than mere coincidence, believe me. But because they refuse to make use of the MOST CORRECT BOOK EVER WRITTEN, they miss the rest of it.

Notice the pattern of consonant (c) and vowel (v). They almost got it right:

Parachuco = c-v-c-v-c-c-v-c-v
Zarahemla = c-v-c-v-c-v-c-c-v

They simply made the classic translation error of "consonant doublet inversion" when they inverted the doublet with the single aternations in the pair positions at 3 and 4. :duh Any undergraduate intern at FARMS could have caught THAT idiotic mistake!

Next, observe that they have translated the letter "h" (or "shemliha" in reformed Egyptian) in the wrong position. Simply placing it correctly in position 5 rather than 6 (those morons...close, yet so far) and you already have HALF THE WORD translated correctly, namely: _arah____!

Hugh Nibley, in his classic treatise on ancient Egyptian languages, "Why I KNOW Reformed Egyptian is True, and Why Every Other Egyptologist in the World is Stupid" demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt that in the language of the Ancient Nephites, who spoke a derivative of Hebrew, mingled with the native tongues of the people who already occupied the "Narrow Neck of Land," that the "p" sounds (or shimliha-aha) and the "z" sounds (or anti-shimliha-aha)were interchangeable. Note that when you say "p" and "z" that they rhyme. Simply inserting the "Z" for the "p" in the first position, and the name of the city virtually LEAPS off the page! Zarah____! Do we really need to continue? Any PRIMARY aged child in any ward in the flippin' world could name that city, now! Why is it that the fools and knaves of the Anthropology world won't admit it?

Still not convinced? Sigh...if you insist.

The rest is really quite simple. Recall that Hebraic languages don't use vowels; you have to infer them from the context of the written word. So for instance, Zarahemla would be spelled "ZRHML" in Hebrew. We've already demonstrated how the world "Parachuco", when correctly translated, would look like "ZRCHC", which suggests that the translators, lacking the context from a knowledge of Book of Mormon times, simply inserted the wrong vowel sounds. Oh my heck, how dumb can they be? So let's correct it to "ZaRaCHeCa".

The rest is so completely obviously as to not even hardly be worth mentioning, other than a simple reminder that the CH combination doesn't EVER appear in the masculine form of Reformed Egpytian words :duh , and instead is replaced simply with the "H" sound, leaving "Zaraheca", which practically has us there. We KNOW about the city of Zarahemla...it's right there in the Book of Mormon, but who ever heard of "Zaraheca?" Besides, that translates to "A Pile of Dead Curloms," which is the stupidest name for a great city ever!

Man...I get SO tired of the so-called intellectuals of the so-called "academic world" trying to foist off their non-sense and calling it "knowledge."

Peter_Mary

[why me]

These so-called "scientists" and their so-called "computers" coming up with their so-called "hypothesis" are obviously MORONS. If they were MORMONS they would see that they are WRONG. Allow me to demonstrate:

:: puts on FARMS hat::

They have UTTERLY mistranslated the city name "Parachuco." They came close, but close is not good enough in the Kingdom of Heaven. The city OBVIOUSLY is Zarahemla.

Observe.

To begin with, you have the OBVIOUS same number of letters and same number of syllables. Any dolt can see that. FURTHERMORE, they DID in fact get the letters in positions 2, 3 and 4 exactly correct, i.e. "ara", with the emphasis on the 3rd syllable in both words...MORE than mere coincidence, believe me. But because they refuse to make use of the MOST CORRECT BOOK EVER WRITTEN, they miss the rest of it.

Notice the pattern of consonant (c) and vowel (v). They almost got it right:

Parachuco = c-v-c-v-c-c-v-c-v
Zarahemla = c-v-c-v-c-v-c-c-v

They simply made the classic translation error of "consonant doublet inversion" when they inverted the doublet with the single aternations in the pair positions at 3 and 4. :duh Any undergraduate intern at FARMS could have caught THAT idiotic mistake!

Next, observe that they have translated the letter "h" (or "shemliha" in reformed Egyptian) in the wrong position. Simply placing it correctly in position 5 rather than 6 (those morons...close, yet so far) and you already have HALF THE WORD translated correctly, namely: _arah____!

Hugh Nibley, in his classic treatise on ancient Egyptian languages, "Why I KNOW Reformed Egyptian is True, and Why Every Other Egyptologist in the World is Stupid" demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt that in the language of the Ancient Nephites, who spoke a derivative of Hebrew, mingled with the native tongues of the people who already occupied the "Narrow Neck of Land," that the "p" sounds (or shimliha-aha) and the "z" sounds (or anti-shimliha-aha)were interchangeable. Note that when you say "p" and "z" that they rhyme. Simply inserting the "Z" for the "p" in the first position, and the name of the city virtually LEAPS off the page! Zarah____! Do we really need to continue? Any PRIMARY aged child in any ward in the flippin' world could name that city, now! Why is it that the fools and knaves of the Anthropology world won't admit it?

Still not convinced? Sigh...if you insist.

The rest is really quite simple. Recall that Hebraic languages don't use vowels; you have to infer them from the context of the written word. So for instance, Zarahemla would be spelled "ZRHML" in Hebrew. We've already demonstrated how the world "Parachuco", when correctly translated, would look like "ZRCHC", which suggests that the translators, lacking the context from a knowledge of Book of Mormon times, simply inserted the wrong vowel sounds. Oh my heck, how dumb can they be? So let's correct it to "ZaRaCHeCa".

The rest is so completely obviously as to not even hardly be worth mentioning, other than a simple reminder that the CH combination doesn't EVER appear in the masculine form of Reformed Egpytian words :duh , and instead is replaced simply with the "H" sound, leaving "Zaraheca", which practically has us there. We KNOW about the city of Zarahemla...it's right there in the Book of Mormon, but who ever heard of "Zaraheca?" Besides, that translates to "A Pile of Dead Curloms," which is the stupidest name for a great city ever!

Man...I get SO tired of the so-called intellectuals of the so-called "academic world" trying to foist off their non-sense and calling it "knowledge."

Peter_Mary
I confess that I am not an intellectual but an idiot trying to get or understand what you wrote. Was this a joke or were you being an intellectual here? I am still trying to figure out your text but I have decided to wait to see if you are just having a laugh :p or if you are being serious.... :)

[peter_mary]

I confess that I am not an intellectual but an idiot trying to get or understand what you wrote. Was this a joke or were you being an intellectual here? I am still trying to figure out your text but I have decided to wait to see if you are just having a laugh :p or if you are being serious.... :)

MAN IN BLACK
All right: where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right and who is dead.

VIZZINI
But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy's?

Peter_Mary

(It is "MYSTERY Friday"...)

[why me]

MAN IN BLACK
All right: where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right and who is dead.

VIZZINI
But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy's?

Peter_Mary

(It is "MYSTERY Friday"...)
I think that your wife needs to make you some knots. You can then try to make out the symbols and translations that she is trying to convey to you. :D Oh free thinker...I think that you need to visit P_M...he seems to be on intellectual overload...but I still can't figure out if he is serious with his 'learned' post or just jerking me around. But still pay him a visit and make him a cup of lemonade....unsweetend. Oh and don't forget the double chocolate cookies....he will love them. :)

[helemon]

Man...I get SO tired of the so-called intellectuals of the so-called "academic world" trying to foist off their non-sense and calling it "knowledge."

Peter_Mary

Whoa! For a moment I thought I was on the FAIR board! :eek:

[peter_mary]

Whoa! For a moment I thought I was on the FAIR board! :eek:

The birth of yet another bit o' satire...

Oh, whoops! I just tipped my hand to Why_Me! :duh

Peter_Mary

[dogzilla]

I thought you were channeling Bill O'Reilly because he starts sentences in the same way: "Any idiot knows..."

[peter_mary]

I thought you were channeling Bill O'Reilly because he starts sentences in the same way: "Any idiot knows..."

See, I wouldn't know that, 'cause my TV has FOX news blocked... :D

Peter_Mary

[helemon]

RfM has a thread on this topic. You should post your satire over there as well PM. :D

[elder_nomo]

RfM has a thread on this topic. You should post your satire over there as well PM. :D
I think you should post it on FAIR!!!
You will probably get all kinds of folks bearing their testimony that what you say is true...

on a side note, P_M, what do you have against "fair and balanced" news? :rolleyes:

[helemon]

I think you should post it on FAIR!!!
You will probably get all kinds of folks bearing their testimony that what you say is true...

on a side note, P_M, what do you have against "fair and balanced" news? :rolleyes:

I would but I have been banned from starting new threads over there. :D

[peter_mary]

I think you should post it on FAIR!!!
You will probably get all kinds of folks bearing their testimony that what you say is true...

on a side note, P_M, what do you have against "fair and balanced" news? :rolleyes:

Above highlighted I have answers your question to.

Peter_Mary

(Don't you just LOVE Fridays?) :D

[helemon]

Above highlighted I have answers your question to.

Peter_Mary

(Don't you just LOVE Fridays?) :D

If you have to state that you are fair you probably aren't?
The ministry of truth would love it.

[dogzilla]

See, I wouldn't know that, 'cause my TV has FOX news blocked... :D

Peter_Mary

I love Faux News. It gives me great target practice for throwing things at the TV. And I usually get a good laugh. Sun Tzu said, "Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer." I'm all for it. Faux News is the first thing I flip to when I turn on the toob.

[peter_mary]

I love Faux News. It gives me great target practice for throwing things at the TV. And I usually get a good laugh. Sun Tzu said, "Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer." I'm all for it. Faux News is the first thing I flip to when I turn on the toob.

Actually, I lied...FOX news is not blocked from my TV...TV is blocked from my brain. I just don't enjoy the damned thing, and probably watch about 30 minutes of Discovery or Animal Planet every 2 or 3 months.

And I also lied about not having watched Bill Oh, Really? My dad is a huge fan (he's deteriorating...my dad, I mean...well, and so's Bill, that lecher...), and so I about can't go over to my folk's house without some conservative on the "toob" demeaning much of what I believe in.

Okay, back to the original thread, which I believe we were having great fun with... :D

Can anyone figure out where I could post this satirical piece that it could do MAXIMUM harm? Sorry, dogzilla and krelia...I have not made the wiccan vow...

Surely there's a totally, uber-Mormon site somewhere that we could figure out how to create some mayhem with this little bit of satirical fun? ;)

Peter_Mary

[meinmachine]

I think you are a genius. I am sure Pres. Hinkley will be giving you a call. Do you have any white Salamanders to sell him? You could make a killing...oops, that pun was not intended. :slap:

[darkslider]

Actually, I lied...FOX news is not blocked from my TV...TV is blocked from my brain. I just don't enjoy the damned thing, and probably watch about 30 minutes of Discovery or Animal Planet every 2 or 3 months.

And I also lied about not having watched Bill Oh, Really? My dad is a huge fan (he's deteriorating...my dad, I mean...well, and so's Bill, that lecher...), and so I about can't go over to my folk's house without some conservative on the "toob" demeaning much of what I believe in.

Okay, back to the original thread, which I believe we were having great fun with... :D

Can anyone figure out where I could post this satirical piece that it could do MAXIMUM harm? Sorry, dogzilla and krelia...I have not made the wiccan vow...

Surely there's a totally, uber-Mormon site somewhere that we could figure out how to create some mayhem with this little bit of satirical fun? ;)

Peter_Mary

Helaman's Army has a site. . . http://helamans-army.com/

I can guarantee it would mess some people up.

[free thinker]

Peter-Mary

Thank you for your concise and erudite explanation of the significance of the above cords of knots found in South America.

As I read your explanation, the spirit of the lord burned in my bosom confirming to me that what you had written is verily the truth.

Now, let's do have some lemonade and cookies as why-me has suggested. It is the only way to cap off a truly spiritual experience. :rolleyes:

free thinker

[why me]

Peter-Mary

Thank you for your concise and erudite explanation of the significance of the above cords of knots found in South America.

As I read your explanation, the spirit of the lord burned in my bosom confirming to me that what you had written is verily the truth.

Now, let's do have some lemonade and cookies as why-me has suggested. It is the only way to cap off a truly spiritual experience. :rolleyes:

free thinker
Ummm....what about me? Aren't I invited? It was my idea after all...but I want a decaf diet icetea with my cookies...I suggest the P_M pick up the tab for this one. I am still kinda broke at the moment.... :rolleyes:

[free thinker]

Ummm....what about me? Aren't I invited? It was my idea after all...but I want a decaf diet icetea with my cookies...I suggest the P_M pick up the tab for this one. I am still kinda broke at the moment....


Of course. All are welcome!

free think

[Born Free]

<snip>

Man...I get SO tired of the so-called intellectuals of the so-called "academic world" trying to foist off their non-sense and calling it "knowledge."

Peter_Mary
P_M,

You have obviously missed your vocation.

Now, are you going to pay for the operation to have my split sides repaired?

Daryl