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Jeff_Ricks
26th August 2005, 07:42 AM
The publisher of our local Cache Valley newspaper, The Herald Journal, recently (on July 24th) wrote an editorial where he slams former Mormons. They agreed to allow me "equal time" to respond but I've not had time to finish it yet -- probably will this weekend.

I've been meaning to type up his editorial and post it here and was finally able to squeeze it in this morning before my shower. What do you all make of it? Here it is:

Faith arguments mind numbing

Compared to other places I have lived, Utah and Cache Valley are unique in at least two ways: Almost everyone leans toward the Republican, conservative political point of view and the LDS Church is by far the dominant religion.

The debates people engage in about politics are generally pretty calm because there are not many Democrats to argue with. On the other hand, debates about religion are lively and entertaining., especially when people who have left the LDS Church try to convince those who are still believers how gullible and stupid they are.

There are a number of people who claim they are no longer members of the LDS Church who continually write long, detailed letters to the editor trying to validate their position, convince those who are faithful believers of LDS doctrine the foolishness of their beliefs, and draw them into a religious debate so they can prove that they are wrong. I’ve had conversations with many of there people, and they not only write letters to the editor but insist on having conversations with everyone they come in contact with about why they left the church and point out what they believe are the fallacies of basic LDS doctrine and principles.

For some reason many who have left the LDS Church just can’t move on with life and leave it alone. They are obsessed with trying to convince everyone who they come in contact with that they made a smart, educated choice when they left the church. It also appears that those who once held positions of leadership in the LDS Church, and those whoa went on missions when they were younger, can be the most active and vocal opponents of the religion as they try to convince the LDS faithful to do what they have done—leave the church.

A few years ago I had a conversation with a young man who wanted to write a guest column in the paper explaining why he left the church and also explain he couldn’t leave it alone. He felt compelled to convince others to his way of thinking. He wanted to do “reverse missionary work.”

He was a regular letters-to-the-editor writer and his letters prompted many of the faithful LDS to respond th his anti-Mormon claims with their letters to the editor. It took us awhile to discover that the name he used on his letter wasn’t his real name to use when he submitted his letters. When confronted with the lie, he said he didn’t want to hurt his family so he gave us a bogus name to use when he submitted his letters.

His reason for insisting on a guest column was that he didn’t believe a letter to the editor gave him the credibility the needed to convince others of this point of view. He wasn’t willing to use his real name on a quest column either. He was extremely aggressive and was not a bit happy when he was told he had to use his real name. He also tried to put an ad in the newspaper directing readers to an anti-Mormon we site but refused to put his real name on the advertisement. He felt so compelled to convince members of the church that their beliefs were foolish that he was willing to pay money to get his point across.

Some of the LDS faithful cannot refrain from taking the bait and feel obligated to respond with their own letters expressing their view of how things really are in the church. The result of the two opposing groups attempting to validate their positions is a lively scripture-filled debate in the letters to the editor that leaves most of us just shaking our heads wondering why they would spend so much time and effort trying to change someone’s mind about religion.

It’s doubtful that a letter to the editor will convince anyone to either leave of join the LDS Church. People who engage in this religious banter on the editorial page of the newspaper get so caught up trying to prove that hey are right and the other person is wrong that they leave the rest of us wondering what they are talking about.

The recent letters on this page arguing about scientific research on the DNA of Native Americans is an example of people who have left the church using scientific research to confirm their decision. They use this scientific information to try to convince others. The result is both sides of the debate have their t who allude to endless scientific evidence and quote scripture after scripture that they feel support their point of view. It gets so complicated and confusing that on one really understands what they are talking about. And the debate goes on and on.

My father once told me, “Only fools argue politics and religion.” A person’s political persuasion and religious affiliation most of the time are based upon some very personal beliefs and values. Politics and religions arguments on the editorial page of the newspaper will probably never convince anyone to change their mind. However, it does however make interesting reading and does sell lots of newspapers.

Below is my intial response to Bruce in an email, his back to me and my followup.



Bruce,

I was very surprised at your editorial on Sunday. It appears to me that your primary purpose in writing was to vilify those of our community who have left the Mormon Church. In it you made highly exaggerated claims such as they "insist on having conversations with everyone they come in contact with about why they left the church…" and "they are obsessed with trying to convince everyone who they come in contact with that they made a smart, educated choice when they left the church." You can’t possibly believe that Bruce. I write those comments off as more of an emotional venting exercise than as being factually based. Even people like **** *****, the fanatical "young man" you reference in you editorial, can’t be that way. Not only is it impossible, it’s not even close to being true.

The truth is 99% percent of those who leave the Church keep their lack of belief to themselves or share it only with others who have also left the Church. Even I, one of the more vocal letter writers only write when it’s in response to someone who writes something that I feel is incorrect, misleading, or discriminatory. Otherwise I keep to myself. If you had the time to research all of my letters, and the editorial I wrote last fall, you would find that to be the case. I and others of the former Mormon community do not appreciate being publicly lumped into the same category as the **** *****, the **** *****, and other fanatics who use an offensive, as opposed to defensive, approach in their letters and other efforts to promote their views.

On behalf of the Post-Mormon Community I ask that you please allow me equal time to respond to your editorial with a follow-up editorial to address the areas where I feel you have grossly misrepresented the majority of former Mormons of our community. The Post-Mormon Community is a non-profit corporation register in the state of Utah. Our mission is not at all to do as your editorial claims. Or official mission statement adopted by the Board of Trustees earlier this year is as follows:

"The Mission of the Post-Mormon Community is to provide and maintain systems that facilitate the growth and development of a safe and supportive community for those who leave or are considering leaving the Mormon Church."

Sincerely,
Jeff Ricks
Executive Director
Post-Mormon Community

**************************

Jeff,

I have noted your request for "equal time" to respond to my column in last Sunday's paper. I really don't get involved in the day to day things that are put on the editorial page with the exception of my every other week column. I have told Charlie that you have taken exception to what I had to say and want to write something. I would ask that you give it to him and he will decide if he wants to use it.

So you will know the subject of that column has been on my mind for a long time. You Mentioned **** *****. At One time **** pushed real hard for the newspaper to allow him to write a guest editorial to tell everyone why those who have left the LDS Church feel compelled to spread the word. Of course he didn't want to use his name so it never happened. Contrary to what you say I do believe that a good number of people who leave the LDS Church feel compelled to tell their story over and over again, they just can't leave it alone. I recently made a trip to St. George with a guy who had left the LDS Church and had to listen to him talk about it for more than 300 miles. When I go to Salt Lake I see people carrying signs and demonstrating. I have had contact with many others who have left the LDS Church and all they want to talk about is why they did it. They just can't leave it alone.

My column also pointed out that many of the faithful LDS can't resist in "taking the bait," and feel compelled to respond in kind, i.e. endless scripture references and scientific evidence to support their position. For some reason they can't seem to be able to let it alone either. They also were probably not to pleased with what I wrote.

Anyway, the column was just my opinion about the endless "Mormon Debates" we have in the letters column, that in my view don't accomplish much.

Thanks for your comments, I always wonder if anyone ever reads the stuff I write, obviously some do.

Bruce K. Smith
The Herald Journal

***********************************

Bruce,

Thank you for the quick reply. I'll send my request for equal time to Charlie. I'm more aware of **** ****** and his aggressive activist ways than I would like to be. I don't at all agree with what he does and really don't understand why he does it. The same applies to those who regularly protest on Temple square.

Bruce, I think you should consider that the reason you perceive former Mormons as you do is because you're not aware that the 99% who aren't that way ARE former Mormons because they keep it to themselves. There are far more former Mormons in Utah than you might think, as indicated by the Tribune article titled, "Keeping Members a Challenge for LDS Church." While the Church can no longer claim that they are the fasted growing religion, they CAN claim that they have one of the highest turnover rates.

I think you should also consider that a former Mormon shouldn't be so vilified by Mormons just because they stand up for themselves once in awhile. My letters to the editor have always been in response to a Mormon who I felt had crossed the line in something that they said. Former Mormons, the ones you aren’t aware of, are regularly singled out and discriminated against in Utah, either publicly as you did in your editorial, but most often in their families. The Post-Mormon Community was created to provide support for those former Mormons. When I see Mormons claiming or assuming special privilege in Utah, which happens far to often, I feel compelled to say something about it and sometimes will.

One more thing. You will find that the Mormon Church is far more public and active in how it promotes its views than is any former Mormon – even **** *****. And the church is sometimes obnoxiously aggressive in how it does so when viewed from the perspective of the 99.9% of the world who don’t agree with those views. I can tell you examples too, like the missionaries who were so aggressive with my 14 year old daughter in trying to get her to listen to them that they made her late for her bus. They didn’t apologize, they said, "There’ll be another bus." Then they almost made her miss that one. She was so late coming home from school that I was beginning to worry. Then there’s the various people that used to show up on my doorstep regularly trying to get me back into the Church, pretending to be my friend but always finding a way to work the Church into the conversation. Funny how when I resigned from the Church I’ve not seen hide nor hair of them. Shows how sincere their friendship was. Then there’s the guy at work who was so aggressive with promoting his views to the non-Mormons that he put one woman under so much stress that it triggered her MS that had been in remission for years. She now has to walk with a cane because of it. He tried for three years to get me to discuss religion with him. When I finally did and he became uncomfortable with the information I was telling him, because he couldn’t respond to it, that he backed out of the "debate," as he called it, but not before calling me evil and misguided and that he felt so sorry for my eternal soul.

Given all of the above I hope you can see how your editorial was very unfairly slanted and biased against a significant portion of our community. You might consider the appropriateness of an apology but I will only ask Charlie for equal time.

Jeff

There was no further response from Bruce.

Jeff

dogzilla
26th August 2005, 11:24 AM
Dear Mr. Smith:

I, for one, could give a rat's patootie. I think your data are skewed. Enjoy your Kool Aid.

Bigger Fish to Fry in Florida,
Dogzilla


:D

wescape
26th August 2005, 11:35 AM
It seems to me that Mr. Smith has no real interest in letting you have equal time, Jeff. It does not surprise me that he has not responded.

Wes

hamar
26th August 2005, 11:39 AM
Jeff,

I think you have/are handling a very difficult situation in a very professional manner. I can only say that Im happy that I do not live in Utah. Here in NC LDS are a very small minority. I went into a Christian bookstore yesterday to buy a Bible and couldn't decide which one I wanted.

I told the lady in the store that I was a recovering mormon and she said, "Oh, good for you". So you see, there is plenty of support for me here and very little confrontation. I'm sorry for the pressure that those who have left the church in such a strong LDS geographical area must feel and deal with constantly.

BTW, I chose the NLT, Life Application Bible. And while we were there, the lady I spoke to made some calls and located the kind of contemporary bible based church that I hope my wife and I have been seeking. We'll check it out and return and report.

I'll be excited to hear how your editorial goes. I think that the kind of perspective that you will bring to the community will be much more balanced and more positively received by the LDS community, if that is possible. While we tend to rant here I think the high road that you are taking is much more effective than the in your face confrontational tone that many exmos take.

If all else fails come and join us in the mountains of NC...I know I know, you folks out west call our mountains foothills. :p

Harry

Jeff_Ricks
26th August 2005, 11:54 AM
Jeff,

I think you have/are handling a very difficult situation in a very professional manner. I can only say that Im happy that I do not live in Utah. Here in NC LDS are a very small minority. I went into a Christian bookstore yesterday to buy a Bible and couldn't decide which one I wanted.

I told the lady in the store that I was a recovering mormon and she said, "Oh, good for you". So you see, there is plenty of support for me here and very little confrontation. I'm sorry for the pressure that those who have left the church in such a strong LDS geographical area must feel and deal with constantly.

BTW, I chose the NLT, Life Application Bible. And while we were there, the lady I spoke to made some calls and located the kind of contemporary bible based church that I hope my wife and I have been seeking. We'll check it out and return and report.

I'll be excited to hear how your editorial goes. I think that the kind of perspective that you will bring to the community will be much more balanced and more positively received by the LDS community, if that is possible. While we tend to rant here I think the high road that you are taking is much more effective than the in your face confrontational tone that many exmos take.

If all else fails come and join us in the mountains of NC...I know I know, you folks out west call our mountains foothills. :p

Harry
Harry,

I did my mission time in Virginia and was stationed in Galax Virginia at one time, which is right on the lower border of Virginia. One day an old man from across the street where we lived (non-Mormon) who we were good friends with asked if we wanted to go over the mountain with him to get some feed for one of his animals. We said sure! We ended up going over about three Mountains and found ourselved in North Carolina! We felt real guilty about leaving the mission boundaries but we also didn't want to tell the old guy to turn around and take us back. Anyway, I love that part of the country! Lucky you!

Jeff

why me
26th August 2005, 12:38 PM
In some way the author of the piece was right: only fools argue politics and religion. I suppose the key word is argue. To argue offers no sense whatever. What is there to argue about if there are two positions that cannot bend toward the other? It makes no sense. But maybe two sides engaged in a dialogue would be different but can one have a dialogue about politics and religion? Perhaps so with much sensitivity it can be successful especially toward politics but religion is such a personal matter that offense can occur rather quickly especially if the other's religion or belief is challenged. I am sure that both sides, as stated by the writer of the text, are guilty of hammering their point across as both get emotionally engaged in the subject. But religion is such a personal subject that it can be best left alone when one side shows no interest or if both sides have hard heads with hard hats on. However, it does seem to me that Jeff does not engage in open missionary work on behalf of postmo.org and seems to have shown sympathy to others who believe in the LDS church. That is for sure....

helemon
26th August 2005, 03:27 PM
I’ve had conversations with many of there people, and they not only write letters to the editor but insist on having conversations with everyone they come in contact with about why they left the church and point out what they believe are the fallacies of basic LDS doctrine and principles.

For some reason many who have left the LDS Church just can’t move on with life and leave it alone.

What about the Mormons? Isn't every mormon a missionary? Aren't they supposed to be talking with everyone they meet about how wonderful Mormonism is? Doesn't the church send out thousands of missionaries to do exactly what this person is complaining about? If you had been raped and the rapist was still at large raping other people would you tell people about it? Same thing here. People who leave the church feel like their trust has been seriously violated and they feel a need to warn others about the organization who did that to them.


He wanted to do “reverse missionary work.”

He was a regular letters-to-the-editor writer and his letters prompted many of the faithful LDS to respond th his anti-Mormon claims with their letters to the editor. It took us awhile to discover that the name he used on his letter wasn’t his real name to use when he submitted his letters. When confronted with the lie, he said he didn’t want to hurt his family so he gave us a bogus name to use when he submitted his letters.


I wonder if the Herald Times carries the Dear Abby column? Using a pen name has a long tradition in the press. Why force this person to use their real name when so many other clebreties and journalists don't?


It’s doubtful that a letter to the editor will convince anyone to either leave of join the LDS Church. People who engage in this religious banter on the editorial page of the newspaper get so caught up trying to prove that hey are right and the other person is wrong that they leave the rest of us wondering what they are talking about.


And the Mormon responses leave us wondering what the heck they are talking about!


The recent letters on this page arguing about scientific research on the DNA of Native Americans is an example of people who have left the church using scientific research to confirm their decision. They use this scientific information to try to convince others. The result is both sides of the debate have their t who allude to endless scientific evidence and quote scripture after scripture that they feel support their point of view. It gets so complicated and confusing that on one really understands what they are talking about. And the debate goes on and on.


If these people would just read Simon's book with "an open heart and an open mind" I think there would be less confusion on this issue. Simon's book is very readable by people who are not well versed in genetic testing. Instead these people argue against it from ignorance. Which is which the debate never seems to end.


Politics and religions arguments on the editorial page of the newspaper will probably never convince anyone to change their mind. However, it does however make interesting reading and does sell lots of newspapers.


No, one editorial probably won't do it, but it could plant a see to cause someone to investigate the issue further and that could lead to someone changing their mind on the issue.

hamar
26th August 2005, 08:40 PM
Harry,

I didn't my mission time in Virginia and was stationed in Galax Virginia at one time, which is right on the lower border of Virginia. One day an old man from across the street where we lived (non-Mormon) who we were good friends with asked if we wanted to go over the mountain with him to get some feed for one of his animals. We said sure! We ended up going over about three Mountains and found ourselved in North Carolina! We felt real guilty about leaving the mission boundaries but we also didn't want to tell the old guy to turn around and take us back. Anyway, I love that part of the country! Lucky you!

Jeff

Jeff,

You wouldn't have been far from where I live now. My branch was in Sparta, NC, which is part of the Winston-Salem stake. Galax is about an hour from us. We do enjoy this part of the country, especially after living in the DC area for seven years and spending four hours a day commuting back and forth to work.

Harry

Jeff_Ricks
6th September 2005, 10:59 PM
An essay I wrote and Peter_Mary reviewed and made significant edits to was published in the Herald Journal this past Sunday. Below is what we wrote. I couldn't use P_M's real name so I had to sign it as just me, but we wrote it! I hope you don't mind me revealing your contribution P_M (see the first post in this thread to see the article ours was in response to):

__________________________________

I want to thank the Herald Journal for allowing me "equal time" to respond to Bruce Smith’s Soap Box, "Faith Arguments Mind-Numbing," wherein he spent almost the entire piece belittling a significant portion of the community—those who have left the Mormon faith. In his essay he makes highly exaggerated claims such as they, "insist on having a conversation with everyone they come in contact with about why they left," and again, "They are obsessed with trying to convince everyone who they come in contact with that they made a smart, educated choice when they left the Church."

The fact is, most people who leave the Mormon Church keep to themselves the reasons why they left. I think Bruce should consider that the reason his perception is so skewed is because the small minority who speak out are the only ones he’s aware of. I’ll bet anyone in Cache Valley that they can’t name one person who fits Bruce’s description, and would be hard pressed to name more than a handful who do speak out once in awhile. It’s an interesting double standard that the Church expects its members to speak openly and often about their beliefs in an effort to convert, but complain if a former member does likewise. Given that there are thousands, and possibly tens of thousands leaving the Church annually (as affirmed in a recent Tribune article title, "Keeping Members a Challenge for LDS Church" http://sltrib.com/ci_2890645 ) it’s clear that Bruce’s perception is greatly skewed. But Bruce’s view of former Mormons is typical among Mormons. They tend to perceive all former Mormons as angry, vengeful people who are obsessed with attacking the Church.

I find it rather ironic that Bruce and other Mormons complain when people speak out against the Mormon Church when the Church spends millions annually speaking out about its beliefs. Rest assured that nearly every non-Mormon in Cache Valley has stories of being pestered and sometimes harassed by missionaries and members of the Church wanting to convert them. A few years ago I was upset to learn that my then 14-year-old daughter was late coming home from school one day because a couple of Mormon missionaries, trying to interest her in Mormonism, made her miss her bus because she was too polite to tell them to go away. They didn’t apologize; they said, "There’ll be another bus," which she also nearly missed.

Finally, in speaking of former Mormons, a common complaint among Church members is "why can’t they just leave it alone and get on with their lives?" My answer is that most do. But the few who speak out from time to time often do so in direct response to the denial on the part of the Church leaders with regard to what they want and allow their members to know. In a talk by Boyd K. Packer, second in line to be president of the Church, he calls on Mormon authors and educators to only teach the parts of Mormon Church history that are what he calls "faith promoting" and to keep the parts that aren’t very flattering to the Church to themselves. He states, "There is a temptation for the writer or the teacher of Church history to want to tell everything, whether it is worthy or faith promoting or not… Not everything that is true is useful… The writer or the teacher who has an exaggerated loyalty to the theory that everything must be told is laying a foundation for his own judgment…" The Mantle is Far, Far Greater than the Intellect, Boyd K. Packer http://www.xmission.com/~country/reason/mantle.htm . If Boyd were giving his advice to officers of a corporation regarding what they can and cannot tell the stockholders then he and anyone following his advice could end up in prison. Failure to not fully disclose pertinent facts, with the intent of misleading, is the same as lying. Having lived most of my life as a faithful member of the Mormon Church I’m one of the first to admit that there are many good things about the Church, but being honest with it’s members about embarrassing things from its past isn’t one of them. It’s sad that the Church can’t pass one if it’s own temple recommend screening questions: "Are you honest in all your dealings with your fellowmen?" So in answer to the question, "why can’t they just leave it alone?" my answer is, when the Church changes its policy of intentionally misleading the public then the few who feel a need from time to time to speak out about the Church will leave it alone. As a Mormon, I was admonished to warn my fellow man regarding the errors of their way, and invite them to see the truth as I knew it. Remember, "every member a missionary?" Having observed the errors of the Church, should I now turn my back on my fellow man, or do likewise, and invite them to see the truth as I now know it?

Jeff Ricks

helemon
6th September 2005, 11:33 PM
Nice response.

cactus jack
7th September 2005, 09:50 AM
Great response Jeff. Boy, hearing a mormon like Smith knock people that choose a different route than he, that really irks me.

I betcha he's a temple-recommend carrying mormon. Funny how so many mormons are "card carrying" but they can't even honor the articles of faith. Why am I not surprised? :Puking

silverfox
7th September 2005, 11:43 AM
Okay, so non members come up to him and provide the info and start conversations unprovoked???? I am guessing HE is initiating the conversations. It seems pretty obvious to me. Afterall, he was able to get material for his column out of it.

I don't tell anyone I am a former Mormon unless they ask. And even then sometimes I will say I have never been Mormon cuz I just don't care to waste time talking about it to certain people. I don't care who is Mo and who isn't - just be respectful and you will get the same in return.

I don't believe for one minute that this guy sat silent on a 300 mile drive and didn't encourage the continued conversation.

If it irritates him so much why doesn't he say, "hey, I'm not interested - let's talk about our families or your hobbies". Why the martyrdom? (oh, poor me, I had to listen to this guy's story about why he isn't Mo anymore, wah wah wah)

Gimme a BREAK. Sounds like he is setting the stage and directing the actors. Who is taking WHO'S bait?

Jeff - excellent job in how you handled this.

peter_mary
7th September 2005, 11:50 AM
I don't tell anyone I am a former Mormon unless they ask. And even then sometimes I will say I have never been Mormon cuz I just don't care to waste time talking about it to certain people. I don't care who is Mo and who isn't - just be respectful and you will get the same in return.



By the show of hands, how many feel the same way?

::raises hand::

See, me too. I don't tell ANYONE, because a) it's too politically threatening where I live, b) it's none of their damn business unless we have a trusting relationship, and c) it just takes too much energy and time, and the payoff simply isn't worth the level of effort.

The guy's whole premise is, I would guess, a Mormon Urban Legend that asks, "Why is it that people can leave the Church, but they just can't leave it alone?"

Hog-wash and Horse-feathers! :D

Peter_Mary